August 10 2016

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Wednesday, August 10, 2016 – Edition: #5793

Get Your BS Here, Hot ‘n Fresh!

★ “Game of Thrones Live Concert Experience” is coming. There are rumors the fantasy show’s 8th season will be its last, so it’s understandable the show’s creators are trying to milk it for money in other ways. Hence, the announcement that a “Thrones”-themed live concert will tour next year, beginning in February. The show is described as a “music & visual experience that will bring the ‘Seven Kingdoms’ to life on a scale never seen before” (BS translation: Music from the series performed by an orchestra and choir). So far the tour is planned to visit 28 US cities and 3 in Canada.
– “Daily Telegraph”
★ “Game of Thrones” author George RR Martin has another book series coming to television, titled “Wild Cards”. Martin edits the anthology series alongside Melinda Snodgrass and the series has had contributions from over 30 authors since it began in 1987. There are currently 22 volumes. Martin is not working on the TV series himself due to his exclusive development deal with HBO. The premise behind the books is a 1946 incident in which an alien virus is released in the skies over NYC that spreads across an unsuspecting Earth. 1% of those infected develop extraordinary and unpredictable powers.
– “The Guardian”
★ Taran Killam and Jay Pharoah are leaving “Saturday Night Live” after 6 seasons. NBC-TV has confirmed that their contracts have not been renewed. Killam is best remembered for his impersonations of actor Matthew McConaughey and politician Marco Rubio; Pharoah has been lauded for mimicking Jay Z and Barack Obama. “SNL” executive producer Lorne Michaels is expected to introduce several new cast members before the launch of Season 42 next month.
★ Robert De Niro & Julianne Moore are set to co-star in a new TV crime thriller directed by David O Russell (“American Hustle”, ” Silver Linings Playbook”). Few details have been revealed about the project, including the roles De Niro and Moore are playing. Conflicting reports even make it unclear whether the show is designed to be a mini-series or multi-seasonal.
★ And 43-year-old actor Josh Duhamel says he accidentally got wasted while filming the new movie “Spaceman” … because he didn’t realize he was smoking real bud rather than ‘stunt’ marijuana. Duhamel portrays outspoken former MLB pitcher Bill ‘Spaceman’ Lee (Boston Red Sox 1969-78; Montréal Expos 1979-82), a player known to enjoy recreational drugs from time-to-time. His story has previously been told in the 2006 Brett Rapkin documentary “Spaceman: A Baseball Odyssey”. The new feature film opens August 19th.
– Bang Showbiz

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Soul singer Sharon Jones of The Dap-Kings; Young the Giant (“Home Of the Strange”, out Friday). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Tom Odell (“Wrong Crowd”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Parquet Courts (“Human Performance”). Rerun.

• Adele – She says she’s trying to quit swearing during concerts … or at least cuss less. Her potty mouth got the best of her no less than 33 times during her Glastonbury set in the UK earlier this year. Quote: “I’m trying to powder my tongue a little bit.” One reason may be that the NFL is reportedly interested in her performing at February’s Super Bowl.
• Brothers Osborne – They’ve announced “The Dirt Rich Tour”, their first-ever headline outing, which begins September 22nd in the Chicago suburb of Rosemont IL. The schedule includes about 30 markets so far.
• Kristen Kelly – “Fire” is the title track to the Texas born-and-raised singer-songwriter’s latest EP.
• Led Zeppelin – They’ve lost their bid to recoup circa $800,000 in legal fees from the man who took them to court over “Stairway to Heaven”. This week the judge dismissed their bid, saying it could only go forward if the copyright claim against them was frivolous … which it was not.
• Lukas Graham – The Danish pop-soul group has cancelled gigs due to frontman Lukas Forchhammer’s “extreme exhaustion”. Axed shows include tonight’s in Tokyo, Japan as well as Melbourne, Australia on Saturday and Sydney next Tuesday. Their next set of dates begin November 10th in Vancouver BC.
• Mariah Carey – She and fiancé James Packer have ‘his-and-hers’ yachts. Even though the billionaire owns the ‘Arctic P’, 7th largest privately-owned vessel in the world, she’s chartered a 192-foot tub with 16 crew members, including a private chef. Fuel alone costs $40,000 a week.

Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Apitourism’ – Tourism that is centered around bees and bee-related activities. (Stinging, for instance?)
• ‘Personal Protection Drone’ – A weaponized drone that accompanies a person as security, responding to attacks or threats. (The Oscars are going to start looking ever weirder.)
• ‘Set-Jetting’ – Traveling to places because they have been the locations for favorite movies, TV shows, or even book settings. (“Oh look, there’s the landfill from ‘Furious 7’!”)

Book readers live 2 years longer than non-readers, according to a new Yale University study of people over 50. In fact, the more time a person spends reading, the less likely they are to die. It’s been found that reading books for up to 3.5 hours per week – an average of 30 minutes per day – lowers a person’s risk of death by 17%. People who read more than 3.5 hours per week enjoy a 23% lower risk of death. Why? Researchers say books encourage cognitive engagement, promote empathy, social perception, and emotional intelligence. And they also help ward off dementia. People who read newspapers and magazines also have a survival advantage, but it’s significantly less than book readers. (Do comics count?)

The border between the USA and Canada is commonly said to lie along the 49th parallel of North latitude. Actually Canada’s most populated regions (as well as 72% of the population) are wedged in below the 49th parallel, including almost the entire population of Ontario; the country’s 2 largest cities: Toronto (43°42′ N) and Montréal (45°30′ N); the federal capital Ottawa (45.25° N); and the capitals of all provinces except the Prairies (Alberta, Manitoba, and Saskatchewan). So, for many Americans (such as those in Milwaukee, Minneapolis, and Seattle) most Canadians are not ‘up’ but ‘down’. (This brings whole new meaning to Southern Hospitality.)

James Altucher makes a rather incredible claim – All you need in life is 15 things. What’s on his list? All that he can fit in a black shoulder bag, namely a laptop, a few pairs of khakis, some T-shirts, and cash stuffed in a plastic bag. What’s not on his list? Dishes, books, a higher education degree, or a home to call your own. Home ownership, he claims, is a “total scam”. Altucher, ranked the #4 ‘Influencer’ on LinkedIn, shed all of those things (except the degree; he went to Cornell) a few months ago when he gave up his apartment. Now he rents from Airbnb or crashes with friends. The floppy-haired 48-year-old is a hugely popular author of 16 books whose podcast draws millions of listeners. (What 3 things do you have to have? A bowl, a spoon, and a library card?)
– “New York Times”

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 66% of us would never admit to hitting a parked car unless someone saw us. (We’re all weasels.)
• 57% of us save gift-wrap to recycle. (Then can’t remember where the hell we put it when we need it.)
• 38% of women say they’ve attempted to improve their appearance using lemon juice. (Drinking it?)
• 30% of us refuse to sit on a public toilet seat. (So how do we use it?)
• 22% of women say the best compliment they can get is about their purse. (“That bag is amazing, how do you keep so much stuff in there?”)
• 20% of us married our first love. (This is my partner, Puffball.)

The world record for rope skipping is 671.5 jumps in 3 minutes.


1959 [57] Rosanna Arquette, NYC, movie actress (“Pulp Fiction”, “The Whole Nine Yards”)/sister of actors David Arquette & Patricia Arquette

1960 [56] Antonio Banderas, Malaga, Spain, movie actor (“Shrek” movies, “Spy Kids” films)

1971 [45] Justin Theroux, Washington DC, TV actor (“The Leftovers” since 2014)/screenwriter (“Zoolander 2”, “Iron Man 2”)/wed to Jennifer Aniston in 2015 COMING UP: Plays ‘Tom Watson’ in the bigscreen version of “The Girl On the Train”, opening October 7th.

1987 [29] Charley Koontz, Concord CA, TV actor (‘Daniel Krumitz’ on “CSI: Cyber” since 2015, ‘Fat Neil’ on “Community” 2011-15)

1997 [19] Kylie Jenner, LA CA, fashion model/reality TV star (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians

• “International Biodiesel Day”, observed on the anniversary of the 1893 testing of Rudolf Diesel’s diesel engine prototype, which ran on nothing but peanut oil. The day promotes the idea of using vegetable oil or animal fat-based bio-fuels in order to cut dependency on fossil fuels.

• “Lazy Day”, a day to take it easy. Just another day around here.

• “Skyscraper Appreciation Day”, observed annually on the birth date of famous architect William Can Alen, the genius behind NYC’s iconic Chrysler Building. A ‘Supertall’ is an extremely tall building, with a height of at least 300 meters (984 feet).

• “S’Mores Day” celebrating one of our favorite campfire treats, a toasted marshmallow sandwiched between graham crackers with piece of chocolate. The original recipe, published in Scout leader Loretta Scott Crew’s “Tramping & Trailing with the Girl Scouts” (1927), referred to the delicacy as ‘Some Mores’.

• “Smithsonian Day”, celebrating the series of Washington DC museums that form the Smithsonian Institution, basically ‘America’s Attic’. It was created on this date in 1846.

• “Spoil Your Dog Day”, like you have a choice. Just look at those big sad eyes … and those dangly wangly ears … aren’t you just the cootest little thing … er, sorry.

2008 [08] Isaac Hayes, singer (“Theme From Shaft”) and actor (‘Chef’ on “South Park”) dies in Memphis TN of a stroke at age 65

2004 [12] Rolling Stones’ Charlie Watts confirms he is undergoing treatment for throat cancer, which eventually goes into remission

2008 [08] Katy Perry’s pop song “I Kissed a Girl” hits #1 in over 20 countries

2012 [04] The bands KISS and Mötley Crüe together donate $100,000 to the families of the victims of the Aurora, Colorado “Dark Knight” movie theater shooting

2003 [13] Temperatures in the UK top 100 F (38 C) for the 1st time in recorded history, during a European-wide heat wave

2003 [13] Russian cosmonaut Yuri Malenchenko becomes the 1st to marry in space, wedding Ekaterina Dmitrieva (who is in Texas) while he’s 240 miles over New Zealand on the International Space Station

2015 [01] Google restructures, placing its search business and its various research ventures into a holding company called Alphabet

2014 [02] Rory McIlroy wins his 4th major championship, the PGA, making him 1-of-4 players in golf history to reach that benchmark by age 25

[Thurs] Play In the Sand Day
[Thurs] Annual Medical Check-Up Day
[Fri] “Florence Foster Jenkins”; “Pete’s Dragon”; “Sausage Party” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Vinyl Record Day
[Fri] World Elephant Day
[Sat] International Lefthanders Day
[Sat] Garage Sale Day
This Week Is … Fraud Awareness Week
This Month Is … Read a Romance Month


A ‘beer mile’ is a drinking race combining running and speed-drinking. Typically, the race takes place on a standard 400-meter / ¼-mile running track. It begins at the starting line with the consumption of a 12-oz (355-ml) beer, followed by a full lap around the track. Rinse. Repeat. 4 times.
✗ Wine Cooler Mile
✗ Long Island Iced Tea Mile
✗ Spiked Hot Cider Mile
✗ Vodka Red Bull Mile
✗ Pickle Brine Mile
✗ Thousand Island Dressing Mile
✗ Half & Half Mile
✗ Frank’s Hot Sauce Mile
✗ Chocolate Fondue Mile
✗ Sober Mile
– Thanks to Matt Izzi

The boss and I have been a lot more friendly lately … not to each other, but a lot more friendly.

• ‘Aglet’
a. The small metal hoop that supports a lampshade.
b. The plastic or metal covering on the end of a shoelace. [CORRECT]
c. The scientific term for an accumulation of navel fluff.

• ‘Piggin’
a. A pig at the intermediate stage of growth, between piglet and full-fledged hog.
b. A small wooden pail with one long stave used as a handle. [CORRECT]
c. What your daughter’s rude boyfriend asks when he comes by the house.

• ‘Sam Browne’
a. A leather belt for a dress uniform supported by a light strap that passes over the shoulder. [CORRECT. Canada’s RCMP wear them, for instance.]
b. An early brand name that became synonymous with a vest sweater.
c. What pale-as-parchment Sam looked like after her 2-week Caribbean cruise.

☎ If you wanted to look really sexy, how would you dress?

Question: The average adult lives 15 miles away from THIS.
Answer: Mom.

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

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