August 11, 2016

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Thursday, August 11, 2016 – Edition: #5794

Have Another Sheetload!

★ Turns out Gisele Bundchen messed up her starring role in the Rio Olympics Opening Ceremony by … sashaying too slowly. The Brazilian supermodel’s slow progress across the 400-foot runway in Maracana Stadium forced the show’s creative director to cut a pre-planned segment about Antônio Carlos Jobim, composer of “The Girl From Ipanema”, at the last second. Bundchen paraded into the stadium to Jobin’s famous song in a thigh-split silver sequined gown to rapturous applause. Apparently she enjoyed the attention. (She literally just walked across the stadium and it was an ‘event’.)
– “The Telegraph”
★ Oft-troubled actor Tom Sizemore has reportedly been dropped from TV series “Shooter” (USA Network) following his domestic violence arrest last month. The 54-year-old “Black Hawk Down” star was taken into custody in Los Angeles CA on July 19th after an alleged physical altercation with his girlfriend. He’s been subsequently released on $50,000 bail. “Shooter”, the small-screen adaptation of the 2007 action film of the same name, also stars Ryan Phillippe and Omar Epps. Sizemore can apparently make a return to the show if he is found not guilty of the charges. (Unlikely, the guy’s a walking trainwreck.)
★ 62-year-old former model Christie Brinkley & rocker John Mellencamp have split after a year-long romance. Billy Joel’s ex-wife (muse for “Uptown Girl”) and 64-year-old Mellencamp began dating last Summer after meeting at a party on Long Island NY. A rep for the pair has confirmed the split, saying busy schedules put a strain on the long-distance relationship. Brinkley recently opened up about the unexpected romance, confessing she was surprised at how much they had in common, but admitted maintaining the relationship took a lot of work. (Now, for both of them, it’s back to

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Eagles of Death Metal (“Zipper Down”). Rerun.
• “Eric Clapton: Slowhand at 70” (PBS) – Recorded live at London’s Royal Albert Hall. Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – The Go-Go’s (“Talk Show”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Tegan & Sara (“Love You to Death”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Death Cab for Cutie (“Kintsugi”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Brandy Clark (“Big Day In a Small Town”).
• “Today Show” (NBC) – The Band Perry performs “Comeback Kid”.

• Beyoncé – She’s in talks to perform at the MTV Video Music Awards at NYC’s Madison Square Garden on August 29th. The “Formation” hitmaker is nominated in an incredible 11 categories and organizers are in talks with her team to devote a portion of the show to her.
• Bruno Mars – The 30-year-old singer is apparently being courted for a money-spinning Las Vegas residency at Caesars Palace, following in the footsteps of Celine Dion, Elton John, and . Mariah Carey. Britain’s “The Sun” claims he’s being offered close to $1 million per show.
• DNCE – Joe Jonas’ tour rider reportedly includes a request for … 12 puppies delivered to his dressing room. The 26-year-old apparently loves dogs so much he likes to have a canine cuddle before performances.
• Drake – His father Dennis Graham, who once drummed for Jerry Lee Lewis, is launching an R&B career with his first single, “Kinda Crazy”, coming out later his month. It’s from his upcoming album, which is yet to have a release date.
• Ed Sheeran – He’s being accused of copying elements of Marvin Gaye’s 1973 hit “Let’s Get It On”. Heirs of Ed Townsend, who co-wrote the song with Gaye, have filed a copyright infringement lawsuit claiming Sheeran’s 2014 tune “Thinking Out Loud” has ‘strikingly similar’ melody, harmony, and rhythm compositions.
• Dierks Bentley / OneRepublic – They’re lined up to headline the “2016 NFL Kickoff”, live from Civic Center Park in Denver CO on NBC-TV before the NFL’s season opener. The Broncos are taking on the Carolina Panthers in a repeat match-up from this February’s Super Bowl.
• Green Day – Billie Joe Armstrong has announced on social media they’re releasing a new single, “Bang Bang”, today. It’s the first new music from the band since their 3 albums released in 2012.
• Jennifer Lopez / Lin-Manuel Miranda – The video for “Love Make the World Go Round” harkens back to Miranda’s impassioned acceptance speech at the Tony Awards, in which he asserted “love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love” in support of the LGBT community. One segment shows them performing for a large crowd outside NYC’s Richard Rodgers Theatre.
• Kanye West – He features on Schoolboy Q’s new single “The Part”, which has climbed to #40 on the ‘Billboard Hot 100’, making it Kanye’s 40th appearance in the top 40 of the chart. ‘Ye was previously tied with Michael Jackson and Frankie Valli at 39 appearances.
• MIA – The 41-year-old singer-songwriter is set to collaborate with ex-One Direction singer Zayn Malik on her upcoming track “Freedun”, to be included on her upcoming EP “AIM”. She says they agreed to work together after chatting on WhatsApp.
• Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs – He’s curating the soundtrack for “WWE 2K17”, acting as executive producer of music for 2K’s latest edition of the World Wrestling Entertainment videogame franchise.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “American Made” – Tom Cruise’s latest has a new title and release date. Formerly called “Mena”, the crime thriller has been pushed back to September 2017 instead of January. Cruise plays the lead role of Barry Seal, a real-life former TWA pilot who used to smuggle drugs and other contraband during the 1980s for the CIA and the Medellin Cartel.
• “Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them” – The first film in the new JK Rowling series is yet to screen and already a sequel has received a release date of November 2018. The fantasy film series stars Eddie Redmayne as ‘Newt Scamander’, someone who can communicate better with creatures than people. The first film is slated for release on November 18th this year.
• “Home Again” – Reese Witherspoon stars in this indie comedy about a recently separated mother-of-two who moves to LA in a bid to start afresh. But her life gets increasingly chaotic after she agrees to help 3 charismatic young guys. The project is written/directed by Hallie Meyers-Shyer, daughter of writer-director Nancy Meyers (“What Women Want”).
• “Man of Steel 2” – ‘Superman’ is set for another standalone film despite the critical mauling “‘Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice” recently received. 33-year-old Henry Cavill is returning to portray in the title role. Due to several other films featuring DC Comics characters, it may be some time before the sequel is out. It could happen in 2018 or 2019.
• “Unicorn Store” – Oscar-winning actress Brie Larson (“Room”) makes her feature-length directorial debut with this story about a woman who is forced to move back in with her parents. Larson also stars and co-produces. The 26-year-old has previously directed 2 short films, “Weighting” and “The Arm”, which was well received at the Sundance Film Festival.

Why stroll across the street when you can ‘duck walk’ like a rock & roll icon Chuck Berry? A town in northern Sweden has erected a series of new street signs encouraging pedestrians to hop, skip, and even play air guitar as they cross the road. Other signs depict jive dancing and Monty Python’s ‘Ministry of Silly Walks’. The initiative also features direction signs for destinations near and far, including one pointing the way to the ‘Midnight Sun’ and another toward ‘Quality of Life’. Haparanda Town Council says it’s just part of a comprehensive plan launched last year to rejuvenate the town center. The makeover has already brought new businesses into the once-rundown area. (Amazing … a government with a sense of humor!)
NET: /
– #NewsfromElsewhere

The National Athletic Trainers’ Association suggests that the germiest places in a fitness club are the shower, mats, and exercise machines, especially any equipment that has handles. A few tips on how to avoid the vermin …
• Like other places, the best thing you can do is wash your hands frequently.
• Cover cuts with a waterproof dressing before swimming; chlorine doesn’t kill everything.
• Run the water fountain for 15 seconds before drinking; make sure it runs clear, because you don’t know how close the person was to it before you.
• Bring your own bathing essentials, including towel, razors, and shower shoes.
• Wipe down all equipment with anti-bacterial wipes; this includes not just the handles, but the buttons to anything you’re touching.
• Shower immediately after you work out; that’s the fastest way to get bacteria off your skin. Don’t wait until you get home.
– CBS News

A company in Denmark is offering to pay employees’ salary … in Pokémon Go currency. Prosys, an IT company based near Copenhagen, has struggled to attract applicants for a sales job vacancy, so it’s turned to the current Pokémon Go craze for inspiration. Its new ad offers to pay part of the monthly salary of 25,000 kroner ($3,700) as PokéCoins, which players can use to buy in-game products and Pokéballs for catching the game’s characters. The full amount can also be paid into a real-world bank account, if applicants are simply hunting for a job and not Pokémon. The company’s director says the unconventional reward is meant to be a fun way of making the company stand out with young job-seekers. (Who’ll be thrilled they accepted this offer a year from now when the fad is so over with.)

• If you add white vinegar to the laundry it will remove even the worst bad smell.
• If you have a broken lightbulb in a socket and can’t get it out, turn off the power, cut a potato in half, and shove a cut end over the bulb shards. Then rotate it out like you normally would.
• Vaseline can be used to remove scuffs from dress shoes.
• If you need to send someone money, use Walmart. It’s cheaper than Western Union and the recipient can pick the money up at any Walmart within 10 minutes.


1950 [66] Steve Wozniak, San Jose CA, Apple Computer co-founder (with Steve Jobs in 1976)/Inventors Hall of Fame (2000)/philanthropist

1965 [51] Viola Davis, St Matthews SC, TV actress (‘Professor Annalise Keating’ on “How to Get Away with Murder” since 2014)/movie actress (“Suicide Squad”, “The Help”)

1967 [49] Joe Rogan, Newark NJ, TV personality (“Ultimate Fighting Championship” since 2002, “Fear Factor” 2001-06, 2014)/stand-up comedian (“The Joe Rogan Experience”)

1968 [48] Anna Gunn, Santa Fe NM, TV actress (“Breaking Bad” 2008-13, “Deadwood” 2005-06) UP NEXT: The Tom Hanks movie “Sully”, out September 9th.

1976 [40] Ben Gibbard, Bremerton WA, rock singer (Death Cab for Cutie-“Black Sun”, “You Are a Tourist”)

1983 [33] Chris Hemsworth, Melbourne, Australia, movie actor (“Ghostbusters”, “Thor”) COMING UP: “Thor: Ragnarok” 2017.

1984 [32] Heath Fogg, Athens AL, blues-rock guitarist (Alabama Shakes-“Don’t Wanna Fight”, “Hold On”)

• “Annual Medical Check-Up Day”, a yearly reminder to take care of your health by booking a checkup appointment today.

• “Dog Days of Summer” end, traditionally the hottest days of the year in the Northern Hemisphere. Ahhh.

• “National Hobo Convention”, the 116th annual through Sunday in Britt, Iowa. Some 30,000 are expected to take in a parade, ‘King & Queen Of the Hobos’ coronation, and the ‘Hobo Jungle’.

• “Perseid Meteor Shower” [‘PERCY-id’] begins, when Earth passes through a broad stream of debris from Comet Swift-Tuttle. A super-show of up to 200 meteors an hour is promised this year. The best time to observe is early tomorrow, 1-to-4 am.

• “Play In the Sand Day”, which seemed like a harmless fun activity … until some fear-monger researcher warned a couple of years back that there may be health and safety implications.

• “Son & Daughter Day”, a day to pay special tribute to offspring by giving them the gift of your time together. If they are teenagers they’ll no doubt respond: “Yeah right … whatever.”

2014 [02] Comedian/actor Robin Williams dies at home in Paradise Cay CA, the victim of suicide at age 63

2000 [16] Madonna gives birth to her 2nd child, Rocco (father is Guy Ritchie, director of the films “Snatch” and “Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels”)

2003 [13] NATO takes over command of the peacekeeping force in Afghanistan, marking its 1st major operation outside of Europe in its 54-year-history (well, that went well)

2015 [01] For the 1st time in Major League Baseball history, all 15 home teams win their games (previous record was 12 in 1914)

2012 [04] 25-year-old Jamaican runner Usain Bolt wins his 3rd gold medal at the 2012 Summer Olympics, raising his total to 6 Olympic golds (and likely more to come in Rio)

[Fri] “Florence Foster Jenkins”; “Pete’s Dragon”; “Sausage Party” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Kool-Aid Day
[Fri] World Elephant Day
[Sat] Middle Child Day
[Sat] Bowling Day
[Mon] Acadian Day (NB/NS)
This Week Is … Recreational Scuba Diving Week
This Month Is … Psoriasis Awareness Month


• Whyzit a ‘slight’ tax increase costs you $200 and a ‘substantial’ tax cut saves you 30 cents?
• Whyzit the rich always have to fear becoming poor, but the poor never have to fear becoming rich?
• Whyzit when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
• Whyzit people say “Can I ask you a question?”. They just did.
• Whyzit a preschooler’s choice of best friend always corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house?
• Whyzit a stupid person can be a smart-ass?
• Whyzit a convenience store that’s open 24/7 has locks on the doors?
• Whyzit whenever you decide to run a red light the driver in front of you chickens out?

☎ Would you let your children watch you give birth?

Studies show that people over age 50 begin losing their dislike for which foods?
a. Those that are really, really hot ‘n spicy.
b. Those that taste bitter. [CORRECT]
c. Those that are sour.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a big gut … and still think they are beautiful.

Question: 1-in-4 of us call THIS person at least once a week.
Answer: Our self … to find our phone.

When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

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