August 12, 2016

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Friday, August 12, 2016 – Edition: #5795

Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

★ Black Sabbath rocker Tony Iommi says his cancer is in remission. The 68-year-old guitarist was diagnosed with lymphoma in 2012 and completed treatment in 2014, but was told it was more than likely the cancer would return. However, he’s apparently defied the odds, finding out the good news during a hospital visit after completing the European leg of Black Sabbath’s “The End” tour in July. (The North American leg of the tour starts next Wednesday in Long Island NY.)
★ A female-driven reboot of the “Ocean’s” movie franchise is in the works. Among those said to be in negotiations for leading roles are Anne Hathaway, Cate Blanchett, Helena Bonham Carter, Mindy Kaling, Nora Lum, Rihanna, and Sandra Bullock. The movie is to be directed by Gary Ross and produced by “Ocean’s Eleven” filmmaker Steven Soderbergh. Casting is still underway, but production is slated to begin this October in NYC. (Like “Ghostbusters”, the problem is not the female cast, it’s that the concept has already been flogged to death.)
★ And the Johnny Depp-Amber Heard case keeps getting weirder. The divorcing couple was scheduled to face off in court this Monday over domestic violence allegations Amber made against Depp, but the hearing has been pushed back to next Wednesday. That’s because Amber Heard’s deposition was cancelled last Saturday after she arrived late, broke down in tears, and refused to testify. Depp’s lawyers will call on 23 witnesses to refute Heard’s claims. Amber’s list has just 7 names on it. (This case is being won out of court … in the media.)

• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – Today Keith Urban (“Ripcord”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Grouplove (“Big Mess”, out September 9th). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Tonight Benjamin Clementine (“At Least For Now”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Tonight Schoolboy Q (“Blank Face LP”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Today Michael Franti & Spearhead (“The Sound of Sunshine”).
• “Major League Baseball” (FOX) – Tonight Alex Rodriguez’s final game as a player for the NY Yankees airs network-wide. The controversial 22-year veteran dons the pinstripes for the final time against the Tampa Bay Rays at Yankee Stadium. Will he be cheered or booed?

• Boston – Sunday the legendary rockers are scheduled to conclude their “40th Anniversary Tour” at the Wang Theatre in their namesake city, marking the act’s first full concert in Beantown since 1994.
• Jake Owen – “American Love” is projected to be #1 on the ‘Billboard Country Albums’ chart for next week.
• Justin Moore – He says his new album “Kinda Don’t Care”, out today, is meant to be a ‘feel-good’ record.
• MIA – For her new single “‘Bird Song”, out today, the 41-year-old teamed with DJ Diplo, whom she previously dated for 5 years.
• Phil Collins – He’s slotted to perform at the opening ceremonies for the 2016 US Open tennis tournament set for August 29th at Arthur Ashe Stadium in Queens NY. Collins has largely remained out of the public eye since a 2010 string of solo dates.
• Sara Evans – She’s signed a new record deal with Concord Music Group to release her next album with the label imprint Sugar Hill Records. Expected in early 2017, the new project will be her 8th studio album.
• Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs – Today he and his Bad Boy Entertainment release a box set celebrating 2 decades of music. “Bad Boy 20th Anniversary” compiles 80 songs on 5 discs, alongside a 64-page book.
• Thirty Seconds to Mars – Their 2nd annual “Camp Mars” mini-festival takes place this weekend in Malibu CA. The 3-day event launched last year as an ‘Adult Summer Camp’ with hiking, yoga, and intimate music components like campfire sing-a-longs.

• “Florence Foster Jenkins” ( PG-13 Biographical Dramedy ): The story of Florence Foster Jenkins, a NYC heiress who dreamed of becoming an opera singer, despite having a terrible singing voice. One of the true cult figures from the early 20th century, she was so incredibly bad she became a sensation. Stars Meryl Streep, Hugh Grant, Simon Helberg, Rebecca Ferguson.
• “Pete’s Dragon” ( PG Family Adventure ): A bigscreen adaptation of the beloved children’s book about an orphaned boy named ‘Pete’ and his best friend ‘Elliot’ … who just so happens to be a dragon. Stars Bryce Dallas Howard, Robert Redford, Oakes Fegley, Oona Laurence. Only the dragon is animated. Shot in New Zealand.
• “Sausage Party” ( R-Rated Animated Comedy ): A sausage and various other food items strive to discover the truth about their existence in this R-rated CG animated film. Co-written and co-produced by Seth Rogen, who also has an onscreen role. The voice cast includes James Franco, Jonah Hill, Kristen Wiig, and Michael Cera.
• Opening in limited release: “Anthropoid” (Historical Drama); “Edge of Winter” (Thriller); “Ghost Team” (Comedy); “Hell or High Water” (Crime Drama); and “Operation Chromite” (War Drama).

Why are the Brazilians booing so much at the Rio Games?
✓ Just for Fun – Brazilian crowds traditionally take sides, cheering for one and booing the other.
✓ Booing Favorites – The Rio crowds have displayed a clear preference for underdogs.
✓ Booing Russians – The Russian doping scandal has elicited particularly hostile reaction.
✓ Patriotic Booing – Brazilians support home-grown athletes by jeering their opponents.
✓ Booing Judges – When crowd favorites are awarded low marks, all hell breaks loose!
– Sourced from BBC News

Facebook has analyzed the behaviors and preferences of some 160,000 people who’ve posted photos of cats and dogs, at once both confirming and busting several prevailing pet myths. For instance: cat owners have 26 fewer Facebook friends than their canine-loving counterparts, yet are more likely to be invited to events. Cat people are especially fond of fantasy, sci-fi, and animé, while dog people like love stories and tales about, well, dogs. Cat people tend to post more frequently about being “tired” and “lonely”, but also feeling “happy” and “loved”. Dog people, meanwhile, seem more stimulated, using words like “fabulous”, “proud”, and “excited”. Equally likely for both … “heartbroken”. (Nice to see everything we post is broken down and analyzed. Anyone care about privacy anymore?)

• The SPF rating probably doesn’t mean what you think. It refers to how long you can stay in the sun without getting burned. If that’s normally 5 minutes, SPF 30 multiplies that to 150 minutes.
• You’re not getting the SPF on the label if you don’t reapply it often enough, ie: every 150 minutes in the case above.
• And using a higher SPF doesn’t mean you can stay out without reapplying.
• If you’re just spraying on sunscreen, you’re doing it wrong. You still need to rub it in as sunscreen works best when you have as uniform a layer as possible.
• You can rack up skin damage even without a sunburn. Prolonged sun exposure can damage your skin cells, putting you at risk for melanoma and other skin cancers.
• You should always reapply after swimming, regardless of how ‘water-resistant’ your sunscreen claims to be. You should reapply as soon as you towel off.
• Yes, people of color need to use sunscreen. Heavy sun exposure may not result in sunburn but you’re still exposing your skin cells to damaging UV rays.
• Sunscreen isn’t the only way to prevent skin cancer. Good sun protection also includes covering up, hanging out in the shade, and avoiding exposure when the sun is strongest.
– Condensed from

The Norwegian Socialist Left Party wants people to set aside 1 hour twice a year … to hunt slugs.
– “BBC News Magazine”


1965 [51] Peter Krause, Alexandria MN, TV actor (‘Adam Braverman’ on “Parenthood” 2010-15, “Dirty Sexy Money” 2007-09, “Six Feet Under” 2001-05)

1975 [41] Casey Affleck, Falmouth MA, movie actor (“Gone Baby Gone”, “Ocean’s 11” movies)

1992 [24] Cara Delevingne, London UK, fashion model (Oscar de la Renta, Dolce & Gabbana, Chanel, etc)/movie actress (“Suicide Squad”, “Paper Towns”)

Former Cuban president Fidel Castro is 90; Movie director Paul Greengrass (“Jason Bourne”) is 61; TV/movie actor John Slattery (“Mad Men”) is 54; Country singer Andy Griggs (“If Heaven”) is 43; Country drummer Mike Melancon (Emerson Drive) is 38; Movie actor Sebastian Stan (“Captain America: The Winter Soldier”) is 34; Singer-songwriter James Morrison (“I Won’t Let You Go”) is 32; TV actress Lennon Stella (“Nashville”) is 17.

Musician/actor/comedian Steve Martin (Steep Canyon Rangers) is 71; Romance novelist Danielle Steel (“Blue”) is 69; Movie actress Halle Berry (“X-Men: Days of Future Past”) is 50; Alt-rock guitarist Kevin Cadogan (Third Eye Blind) is 46; Movie actress Mila Kunis (“Bad Moms”) is 33.

• “Girls Night Out”, observed on the 2nd Friday of August. Whether you’re single or married it’s nice to have a night out with girlfriends sometimes, no?
• “International Youth Day”, a UN observance since 1999 to draw attention to youth issues worldwide. (Acne?)
• “Kool-Aid Days”, the annual weekend celebration of the soft drink mix originally made in Hastings, Nebraska. Edwin E Perkins first marketed the stuff in 1927 in 6 flavors (raspberry, cherry, grape, lemon, orange, and root beer).
• “Middle Children’s Day”, a salute to middle-born children whose childhood activities were seemingly always limited by being ‘too young’ or ‘too old’. Awww, poor whiners.
• “Shop Online For Groceries Day”, observed annually on the 2nd Friday of August. So, have you ever done it? Do shoppers also cheat in the online ‘express lane’?
• “Vinyl Record Day”, celebrated annually on the earliest of several possible dates in 1877 on which Thomas Edison may have invented the phonograph. The purpose is to encourage the preservation of the recordings, cover art, and cultural influence of vinyl records.
• “World Elephant Day”, conceived in 2011 and dedicated to the preservation and protection of the world’s increasingly scarce pachyderms.

• “Filet Mignon Day” (French for ‘dainty fillet’), celebrating the beef steak cut from the tenderloin. The fillet is considered to be the most tender cut … and the most expensive.
• “Garage Sale Day”, observed on the 2nd Saturday in August to salute a North American institution on what’s likely to be a popular day for garage/yard sales.
• “International Lefthanders Day”, first celebrated in 1976 to salute that forgotten visible minority … lefties. Only about 10% of us are left-handed. If you’re one of them, shake off the oppression and stand up for your lefts! A few things that are awkward for lefties …
• “Skinny Dipping Day”, saluting the decadent delight of swimming in the altogether … if there are no mosquitoes.

• “Creamsicle Day”, celebrating those ooey gooey, orange- or raspberry-flavored Popsicles with ice cream inside, an invention of Swedish-born entrepreneur Alexander Frehse in 1923.
• “Financial Awareness Day”, a day to add up all your assets and all your debts in order to get a clear picture of where you stand … just before declaring bankruptcy.
• “International Nagging Day”. If you have issues with someone, this is a good day to get them out of your system … over and over and over again.
• “Summer Romance Day”, celebrating the (sometimes brief) relationships formed during vacations in the lazy, hazy, crazy days of Summer.

2014 [02] Screen legend Lauren Bacall (“Key Largo”, “The Big Sleep”) dies in NYC at age 89

2007 [09] Led Zeppelin announces plans for what will likely prove to be their last gig together – a performance at London’s O2 Arena to honor Atlantic Records co-founder Ahmet Ertegun

2008 [08] Metallica releases “The Day That Never Comes”, lead single from their 9th studio album, “Death Magnetic”

2012 [04] London 2012 Olympics end with a 3-hour musical closing ceremony (Spice Girls, George Michael, The Who, Take That, Muse, Jessie J, Pet Shop Boys, One Direction, etc)

1981 [35] IBM introduces its 1st ‘Personal Computer’, the model 5150 equipped with MS-DOS 1.0 and a price tag of $1,565 (over 4-grand in today’s dollars)

[Mon] Acadian Day (NB/NS)
[Mon] Best Friends Day
[Mon] Cupcake Day
[Mon] Relaxation Day
[Tues] Roller Coaster Day
[Tues] Wave at Surveillance Day
This Week Is … Weird Contest Week
This Month Is … Catfish Month


✗ Speak exclusively in falsetto.
✗ Accentuate those cankles (aka thick ankles).
✗ Paint a portrait of your date in the style of Frida Kahlo.
✗ Swap tax information early and often.
✗ Keep your friends in the loop: live tweet every 2 minutes.
✗ Browse together in order to rule out the possibility of incest.
✗ Invite strangers and bystanders to join your date to ease the tension.
✗ Whatever happens, whistle casually.
✗ Yawn often to show off those handsome pearly whites.
✗ Take turns deleting one app at a time from each other’s phone until you have nothing left but one another.
(Wait a sec … that’s a good one!)
– Thanks to Ashley Rattner

I believe Donald Trump can make America what it once was … a large Arctic region covered with ice.

☎ What unusual song did you walk down the aisle to?

Question: Almost half of us have injured ourselves by doing THIS at home.
Answer: Smashing a finger with a hammer.

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

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