BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
✶ 53-year-old Simon Cowell has now reportedly been named in divorce papers filed by his (former) friend Andrew Silverman amid claims Simon fathered a child with his estranged wife, 36-year-old NYC socialite Lauren Silverman. It was reported this week that Lauren is ‘10 weeks along’ with Simon’s expected baby after they vacationed together (Saint-Tropez, St Bart’s, etc) while Andrew was also aboard Simon’s yacht. An insider says the pregnancy has blindsided Simon as it was not planned and he assumed she was using birth control. (How can such a seemingly smart guy be so dumb?)
– “Us Weekly”
✶ The Church of Scientology is blasting former member Paul Haggis after his open letter to actress Leah Remini appeared in “Hollywood Reporter”. The writer/director has become a vocal opponent of the church ever since he quit in 2009 after 35 years. Haggis offered his support to ex-Scientologist Remini, whom he claims did the same for him when he cut ties. A church rep has issued a scathing statement, claiming Haggis’ treatise is nothing but a ‘transparent plug’ for his upcoming movie. (“Third Person” premieres at the Toronto International Film Festival in September.)
– WENN.com
✶ Broadway’s ‘Spider-Man’ is close to spinning his last web. Actor Reeve Carney, who has been donning the Spidey suit to play the superhero and his alter-ego ‘Peter Parker’ onstage since “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark” opened in 2010, will exit the stage production on September 15th. Casting calls will be held in NYC and LA next month to find his replacement, as well as an actress to play his love interest ‘Mary Jane Watson’. (If they can just keep the production running for 25 more years, it’ll almost pay off its cost.)
– ContactMusic.com
✶ And “Vanity Fair” magazine’s ‘2013 International Best-Dressed List’ is out. “Scandal” actress Kerry Washington, who graced the magazine’s August cover, is ranked #1. The Duchess of Cambridge, new mom Kate Middleton, has made the list for a 4th time. Also on the women’s list: Beyoncé, Brooke Shields, and Charlize Theron. On the men’s side: Miami Heat basketball star LeBron James, Henrik Lundqvist of the NHL’s NY Rangers, and New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. (Likely just so they could get his supermodel wife Gisele Bundchen to appear alongside.)
– AceShowBiz.com

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Jennifer Hudson (“I Remember Me”); Maroon 5 (“Overexposed”). Rerun.
• “Fox & Friends All-American Summer Concert Series” (FOX News Channel) – Today Uncle Kracker (“Drift Away”, “Follow Me”).
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – This morning Ne-Yo (“RED”) performs.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Selena Gomez (“Stars Dance”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Titus Andronicus (“Local Business”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Robin Thicke (“Blurred Lines”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Jason Isbell (“Southeastern”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (ABC/CTV) – Today Common (“The Dreamer, The Believer”).
• Lollapalooza (Chicago IL) – The 130-act line-up for the 9th annual 3-day event in Grant Park includes The Cure, The Killers, Mumford & Sons, The National, Nine Inch Nails, Phoenix, Postal Service, Queens Of the Stone Age, Vampire Weekend. Aftershow events at various Chicago clubs by Atlas Genius, Imagine Dragons, Hot Chip, Lana Del Ray, the Lumineers and more.
NET: http://www.lollapalooza.com
• “Picasso Baby: A Performance Art Film” (HBO) – Tonight a special surrounding Jay Z’s recent performance of “Picasso Baby” off “Magna Carta Holy Grail” at NYC’s Pace Gallery … for 6 hours. The stunt was a salute to performance artist Marina Abramovic. The special is preceded by Jay’s appearance on “Real Time with Bill Maher”.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Today The Band Perry (“Pioneer”) performs.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Charlie Worsham (“Rubberband”, out August 20th).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Today guest co-host Robin Thicke (“Blurred Lines”).
• Watershed Music Festival (George WA) – Performers at this SRO 3-day country music event at the Gorge Amphitheatre include Brad Paisley, Chris Young, Lee Brice, Luke Bryan, Terri Clark, Thompson Square, and Toby Keith.
NET: http://www.watershedfest.com

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alt-J – Tonight they kick off a North American tour in Montréal QC, which runs through September 29th in Dallas TX.
• Arcade Fire – They have announced their first live dates for 2014. The band, which is preparing to release their 4th album on October 29th, will perform at the “Big Day Out” festival series in Australia and New Zealand in January.
• Backstreet Boys – Tonight they launch the “World Like This” tour in Chicago IL with dates scheduled up to September 8th in San Francisco CA. The Boys are celebrating 20 years together. “Jersey Shore” star DJ Pauly D and Jesse McCartney are the opening acts.
• Black Sabbath – Tonight in Bristow VA they embark on a North American tour in support of the new album “13” that wraps September 3rd in Los Angeles.
• The Civil Wars – Their self-titled sophomore album is now available to stream in its entirety for 1 week exclusively at the iTunes store in the US and Canada. It’s official release is Tuesday.
• Justin Bieber – Music critics have savaged his performance this week in Newark NJ, saying he was ‘sluggish’, ‘bored’ and ‘lazy’. He’s also accused of lip-syncing large portions of the show.
• Ke$ha – The 26-year-old increasingly weird pop star tells Britain’s “Heat” magazine she had a ‘tiny tail’ about a quarter-inch-long when she was born, which was subsequently removed. Now, she claims, she’s sad about that. Never lose your head over a little tail!
• Lady Gaga – She reveals in “Women’s Wear Daily” that the hip injury that sidelined her “Born This Way Ball” tour was worse than originally thought. A surgeon told her had she done another show she might have needed a full hip replacement and been out a year, maybe longer.
• Selena Gomez – She’s atop the new album sales chart with “Stars Dance”. It’s her first #1 album and the best sales week of her career, according to Nielsen SoundScan.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Sharknado” ( TV14 Disaster Spoof ) – Tonight at midnight a special screening in select theaters of the surprise-hit SyFy made-for-TV movie that became a social-media sensation. Ian Ziering & Tara Reid star as an estranged couple attempting to survive a freak hurricane that rains down killer sharks. An interactive audience experience is being encouraged.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/przm9hq
• “2 Guns” ( R-Rated Action Comedy ): Denzel Washington & Mark Wahlberg star as a DEA agent and a naval intelligence officer who find themselves on the run after a botched attempt to infiltrate a drug cartel. While fleeing, they learn the secret of their shaky alliance: Neither knew that the other was an undercover agent.
NET: http://www.2guns.net
• Opening in limited release: “Drift” (Sports Drama); “The Canyons” (Thriller); “Europa Report” (Sci-Fi Thriller); and “The Spectacular Now” (Dramedy).

MOLAR MONITOR:
The next stop for wearable technology? Your mouth. Scientists at National Taiwan University have developed a new wi-fi enabled chip that attaches to a tooth and tracks mouth activity. It can reveal all of your mouth’s dirty secrets, including how much you eat, drink, smoke, cough, chew and more. The tiny tracker is a chip embedded in a motion sensor that’s then glued on the teeth. In tests, the sensor was connected to a computer, but if-and-when it’s developed commercially, it will sync to a smartphone. (Why not have it sync to the bartender?)
– NYDailyNews.com

HOARD OF THE FLIES:
Just what you need – a kitchen appliance that grows insects for dinner! Austrian industrial designer Katharina Unger has created ‘Farm 432’, a tabletop insect breeding gizmo designed as a grow-your-own protein source for families. Here’s how it works: After 432 hours, 1 gram of black soldier fly eggs multiply into 2.4 kg (over 5 lbs) of larvae protein. The organic, self-harvest larvae drop into a small container and are ready-to-eat, be it as a crunchy topping on risotto or pan-fried as a lo-cal meat substitute for stir-fries or snacks. (Mmm, pass the larva!)
– AFP

TIPS FOR WEARING FLIP FLOPS:
Flip flops may feel comfortable, but wearing them too often can cause aches and pains that extend beyond your feet. Some expert advice on the issue …
✓ Limit use to short periods of time, on the beach, around the pool, etc.
✓ Never wear flip flops while playing sports.
✓ Do not walk long distances in them.
✓ Do not wear them while driving, as they can get lodged under pedals.
✓ Use sunscreen on feet when wearing flop flops.
✓ Replace thin-soled flip flops within 3-to-4 months.
✓ Cease wearing them if irritations develop between toes caused by the thong.
– ZocDoc.com

SUITE TWEET:
Sol Wave House on the Mediterranean island of Majorca bills itself as the first Twitter experience hotel in the world. Guests log in via Twitter to an online app available on the hotel’s wi-fi that allows them to share pictures, private messages, and even virtual kisses with other guests. As well, each Bali bed around the pool is numbered with a hashtag (#Balibed1, etc), allowing guests to message the person occupying each. The self-professed ‘party hotel’ also features #TwitterPartySuites and a #TwitterPoolParty on Fridays. (No privacy in this joint!)
– TIME.com

BS AMAZING FACT:
A new report estimates the USA spends a little under a half-billion dollars per year to maintain the Guantanamo Bay prison facility in Cuba. That comes to roughly $2.7 million per prisoner.
– “Miami Herald”

BS CHRONOMETER 08.02.13

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1964 [49] Mary-Louise Parker, Fort Jackson SC, movie actress (“RED” films, “Fried Green Tomatoes”)/TV actress (“Weeds” 2005-12, “The West Wing” 2001-06)

1970 [43] Kevin Smith, Red Bank NJ, filmmaker (“Clerks”, “Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back”)

1976 [37] Sam Worthington, Godalming UK [raised Perth, Australia], movie actor (“Avatar”, “Clash Of the Titans”)

SATURDAY –
Pop/jazz singer Tony Bennett (“I Left My Heart in San Francisco”) is 87; Movie/TV actor Martin Sheen (“Apocalypse Now”) is 73; Lifestyle guru Martha Stewart (“Martha Stewart Living”) is 72; Rock singer-guitarist James Hetfield (Metallica) is 50; Comedian/TV actor Brent Butt (ex-“Corner Gas”) is 47; Rock guitarist Stephen Carpenter (Deftones) is 43; Country violinist Jimmy De Martini (Zac Brown Band) is 37; NFL QB Tom Brady (New England Patriots) is 36; Movie/TV actress Evangeline Lilly (ex-“Lost”) is 34; Pop-rock bassist Brent Kutzle (OneRepublic) is 28.

SUNDAY –
TV actor/comedian Richard Belzer (“Law & Order: SVU”) is 69; Movie actor Billy Bob Thornton (“Sling Blade”) is 58; US president Barack Obama is 52; Auto racer Jeff Gordon (NASCAR) is 42; Pop singer Tom Parker (The Wanted) is 25.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Canada’s National Ukrainian Festival”, the 48th annual in Dauphin, Manitoba through Sunday, as thousands gather for traditional singing, dancing, egg-decorating, and perogies.
NET: http://www.cnuf.ca
• “Ice Cream Sandwich Day”, celebrating the chilly goodness of stuffing ice cream between a couple of wafers. Stone cold brilliant!
• “International Beer Day”, an annual worldwide celebration of brewskies on the 1st Friday of August. So, the best beer in the world is …?
NET: http://www.internationalbeerday.com
• “Maine Lobster Festival”, the 66th annual through Sunday in Rockland, Maine. Pass the butter please!
NET: http://www.mainelobsterfestival.com
• “Twins Days Festival”, the world’s largest annual gathering of twins through Sunday in Twinsburg, Ohio. They’ll be seeing double in this town all weekend!
NET: http://www.twinsdays.org
• “World Championship Bunnock Tournament” all weekend in Macklin, Saskatchewan. The game involves throwing horse ankle bones at a target, similar to horseshoes. The heaviest bones are ‘schmeisers’; others are ‘guards’; the rest ‘soldiers’.
NET: http://www.macklin.ca/bunnock.htm

SATURDAY –
• “Chocolate Fest”, the 26th annual in the resort town of St. Stephen, New Brunswick through August 10th, highlighted by a nightly ‘Choctail Hour’. St Stephen is allegedly where the ‘chocolate bar’ was invented.
NET: http://www.chocolate-fest.ca
• “International Tree Climbing Day”. No equipment needed, just hands, feet … and guts!
• “Mustard Day”, honoring the ‘condiment of kings’ and sponsored by Middleton, Wisconsin’s Mustard Museum, home of the world’s largest collection of mustard memorabilia.
NET: http://mustardmuseum.com/2013-national-mustard-day
• “Pro Football Hall of Fame Induction”, the 50th annual in Canton, Ohio. This year’s inductees are Bill Parcells, Cris Carter, Curley Culp, Dave Robinson, Jonathan Ogden, Larry Allen, and Warren Sapp.
NET: http://www.profootballhof.com/enshrinement
• “Watermelon Day”, celebrating the Summer treat that’s part of the pumpkin, squash, and gourd family. Watermelons originated in Africa, then spread to Egypt, India, China, and eventually around-the-world.

SUNDAY –
• “Chocolate Chip Day”, saluting those tiny little morsels of decadence that make almost any dessert taste better. There’s hardly any calories in them, right? They’re just little.
• “Sisters Day”, observed annually on the 1st Sunday in August to celebrate being or having a sister.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1993 [20] the single “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” by The Proclaimers is certified Gold

1998 [15] The Beatles top a poll by UK music magazine “Mojo” on ‘Favorite Recording Artist Of All-Time’, beating out Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Queen, and Elton John, in that order

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1938 [75] Brooklyn introduces the 1st (and last) yellow baseball used in an official MLB game (Johnny Mize becomes only player to hit a home run with the off-color ball as the Dodgers beat St Louis 6-2)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1975 [38] Distance record for ‘Champagne Cork Popping’ of 103 feet (31.4 m) is set by Gary Mahan of La Habra Heights, California

COMING UP . . .
[Mon] OVO Fest (Toronto)
[Mon] “The Bachelorette” finalé (ABC)
[Mon] Civic Holiday (Canada)
[Mon] Underwear Day
This Week Is … Fraud Awareness Week
This Month Is … Immunization Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

CRACKING THE ‘GUY CODE’:
A few of the rules & regulations by which a man lives his life …
• Never, ever date a buddy’s ex. If it was just a casual one-nighter … OK.
• Never carry something if it can be thrown or tossed (ie: crumpled paper to be trashed).
• Don’t lie to your friends to be with your girl. Let them know when you’re going to hang with her.
• Men need respect. You may love him to death but if you continue to belittle him, he’ll be gone.
• The line to the men’s room is never as long as the women’s because no talking is allowed in the men’s.
• If a guy doesn’t make fun of you, you’re not really friends.
• If a girl gives you her number, read it back to her with one wrong digit. If she corrects you, it means she’s actually interested. If she doesn’t, the number is probably fake.
• If you see a bro’ out shopping with his woman and he is miserable, give him a nod of understanding indicating that you feel his pain.
• Every bag must be carried in from the car in a single trip … no matter how many.
(Remember: Men didn’t create the code; the code created men!)
– Adapted from iVillage.ca

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ The NFL’s New England Patriots have announced they’ll abandon standard play-by-play during latter parts of preseason game broadcasts. FOX Sports recently aired a Detroit Tigers game against the Washington Nationals with no announcers at all. So are sports play-by-play announcers really necessary on TV?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Diarrhea also happens.

BS WEB GOODIE:
Cats seem to be everywhere on the Internet. So perhaps it’s not surprising there is now a ‘Cat Font’. Goofy, but not surprising.
NET: http://nekofont.upat.jp/en/

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: A statistical study shows we’re most likely to do THIS in March, least likely in August.
Answer: Die.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Some of it plus the rest of it is all of it.