August 21 2018

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Tuesday, August 21, 2018        Edition: #6276

Sheet Happens!

★ Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves just might be married.  Maybe.  The two star in the upcoming romantic comedy “Destination Wedding”, but they also played opposite each other in 1992’s “Bram Stoker’s Dracula”. Ryder says: “We actually got married in ‘Dracula’. . .I swear to god I think we’re married in real life.  In that scene, Francis [Ford Coppola] used a real Romanian priest…So I think we’re married.”
★ Ahead of her first royal tour with husband Prince Harry, Meghan Markle has hopped on a flight to Toronto. Prior to moving to the U.K. to be with her husband, Markle was based in Toronto, where she filmed all seven seasons of “Suits”. This is her first solo trip abroad since she became the Duchess of Sussex. Royal watchers believe she’s likely savoring some time with the close friends, prior to a busy few months of official engagements alongside Prince Harry.
★ Bam Margera was 7 months sober … until he got robbed and decided he needed a drink.  Margara posted video saying he just HAD to crack open a cold one after being jacked at gunpoint in Cartagena, Colombia. The “Jackass” star says he was robbed of $500 during a shady taxi ride from the airport.  He had been on the wagon since checking into rehab in January following his DUI arrest in Los Angeles.
★ The movie “Billionaire Boys Club,” which features disgraced actor Kevin Spacey, made just $126 at the box office on its opening day Friday.  That’s right.  126 dollars.  The film made another $162 on Saturday for a two-day total of just $287. The film’s poor showing comes months after Spacey faced several accusations of sexual harassment from coworkers on the hit Netflix series “House of Cards.”
★ Ving Rhames thinks Tom Cruise is getting too old to do his own stunts. Rhames stars opposite Cruise in the “Mission: Impossible” series and after his friend broke his ankle shooting a scene for the latest installment, “Mission: Impossible – Fallout”, he says maybe it’s time 56 year-old Cruise left the tougher challenges to stunt professionals.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Kristen Bell, John David Washington, Brett Eldredge ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Amy Poehler, Harland Williams, Tomi Adeyemi, Ashley McBryde ( R )
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Don Lemon, Mike Colter, Death Cab for Cutie ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Amanda Seyfried, Katy Tur, Brandi Carlile, Emmanuelle Caplette ( R )
• “The Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Cher, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, members of the England Football Team ( R )
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Bob Odenkirk, Zach Cregger, Shooter Jennings
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Joao Franco, Colin Macy-O’Toole ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Serena Williams ( R )
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Chris Pratt, Bryshere Gray, Guy Fieri
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Oprah Winfrey, Tiffany Haddish ( R )
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): A quarterfinal round
• “Too Stupid to Die” (MTV): A sneak peek into the wild life of Zach Holmes and his “Too Stupid to Die” amateur stunt crew of friends.

Rihanna – is the subject of a new film by Peter Berg – who gave Rihanna her first major acting role in his 2012 movie “Battleship”.  Berg says the new documentary, out in October, will offer a ”comprehensive profile” of the 30-year-old singer and what has made her so successful.
• Shawn Mendes — says it’s ”physically impossible” for him to drink alcohol while on tour. He feels he has to be an ”athlete” while on the road because “If I mess up, it’s going viral.” (And the award for most boring after-party goes to…)
• Ariana Grande — broke down crying during an interview while talking about her new song ‘Get Well Soon’.  She explained that it was written in the aftermath of the Manchester bombing, and is about people helping each other get through fear and anxiety.
The Beatles — A new biography claims that producer, George Martin was “frozen out” when the band recorded ‘The White Album’ in 1968. Author Kenneth Womack claims a “cold war” broke out between Martin and the band and Martin would show up to the sessions with “a large stack of newspapers and a giant bar of chocolate”, and sit at the back of the studio.
• Pearl Jam — Retired NBA icon Dennis Rodman joined Pearl Jam on stage in Chicago on Saturday.  Before the group played their encore, Rodman took to the stage with a ukulele and told the crowd: “There are two groups of people who have always supported me – North Korea and Chicago.”
• Marilyn Manson – collapsed on stage in Houston, TX Saturday night.  Manson had apparently been feeling ill before the show, part of his “Twins of Evil, the Second Coming” tour with Rob Zombie. Before his show-opening set began, the photo pit was emptied, with management explaining that Manson didn’t want to be photographed in his depleted condition. (Why?  Because he looked pale?)
Maren Morris — Many artists paid tribute to Aretha Franklin over the weekend, and Morris chose to sing Franklin’s 1967 hit ‘(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman’ during her Saturday Las Vegas concert.  She posted video on her Instagram account with the caption:  “All hail the Queen. Loved singing this this weekend.”
Sugarland – are revealing a little more of the story behind their ‘Babe’ music video in a new behind-the-scenes look.  Focused mostly on the stunning looks of Jennifer Nettles (who’s dressed in brilliant ’60s garb), she notes in the clip that the video was filmed on the same set as the ‘Mad Men’ TV series. 

• “Adrift” (PG-13, Drama/Romance):  In a true story of survival, a young couple’s chance encounter leads them first to love, and then on the adventure of a lifetime as they face one of the most catastrophic hurricanes in history. (Shailene Woodley, Sam Claflin)
• “Show Dogs” (PG, Comedy/Kids): Max, a macho, solitary Rottweiler police dog, is ordered to go undercover as a primped show dog in a prestigious Dog Show, along with his human partner, to prevent a disaster. (Will Arnett, Ludacris)
• “God’s Not Dead: A Light in Darkness” (PG, Drama): Pastor Dave responds to the unimaginable tragedy of having his church, located on the grounds of the local university, burned down. (David A.R. White, John Corbett)
• “Action Point” (R-Rated, Action/Comedy):  When the future of a low-rent, out-of-control amusement park is jeopardized by a corporate mega-park opening nearby, the crackpot owner and his staff risk everything to save it. (Johnny Knoxville, John Altschuler)
• “Black Water” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure):  A deep cover operative awakens to find himself imprisoned in a CIA black site on a submarine. (Dolph Lundgren, Jean-Claude Van Damme)

Yes, pasta, potatoes and bread are delicious, but you don’t often see them included in a weight-loss program.  Well, you might want to keep right on making that mashed potatoes and gravy volcano, because new research shows that cutting down on carbs might shorten your life.  A U.S. study involving over 15,000 participants over 25 years showed that moderate carb consumption is far healthier than completely phasing them out of your diet.  Scientists found that those who got 50-55% of their energy from carbohydrates (‘moderate carb intake’) had a slightly lower risk of death compared with the low and high-carb groups.  People in the moderate carb group were on average expected to live to the age of 83, which is four years more than people in the extra-low-carb group, and 1.1 years longer than those in the high-carb group.
(Plus the people in extra-low carb group never got invited anywhere!)
(Low-carb diets are OK, but you know what they need?  Carbs!)

Drivers in England are facing the prospect of being fined £100 for going ONE mph over the speed limit.  Police have launched an official review into the ‘buffer zone’ which protects drivers by adding an allowance of 10% of the speed limit plus 2mph to the legal limit before they are punished.  That means in a 50 zone, you wouldn’t generally be fined unless you were driving in excess of 57mph. The aim of the buffer zone is to stop drivers being fined or given points on their licence if they are driving slightly too fast – but the national roads policing chief says he is in favor of scrapping it.  Chief Constable Anthony Bangham says the current guidance leads drivers to think ‘it is OK to speed’.  If the buffer zone is abolished, it has been speculated that drivers could be punished for going just 1mph over the limit even on fast roads.
(You’d better make sure you know the speed limit…or know the cop!)
(Shouldn’t things be in kilometers per hour there?)
(I’m guessing the ‘plus 2mph’ thing doesn’t apply to STOP signs?)

• The average Canadian family spends $890 on back-to-school supplies and clothing. Driving up costs, which are double that spent five years ago, are tech items like software, tablets and apps. (and backpacks…have you seen the price of those things?)
• 40% of parents say their kids care more about having the coolest technology than the coolest clothes or accessories.  (My kids are getting one or the other at the dollar store…their choice!)
• 43% say that they tend to spend more on back-to-school shopping than on their child’s birthday.
• 62% stick to one store out of convenience and do not shop around.
(For my Mom, money wasn’t a concern.  She was willing to pay whatever it took to get rid if us for most of the day!)


1938 [80] Kenny Rogers, Houston TX, retired country singer (‘The Gambler’, ‘Coward of the County’, ‘Lady’)  Country Music Hall of Fame 2013.

1956 [62] Kim Cattrall, Liverpool England, TV actress (‘Samantha Jones’ on “Sex and the City” 1998-2004)

1973 [45] Sergey Brin, Moscow, Russia [grew up Adelphi MD], computer wiz who co-founded Google with Larry Page in 1998/personal net worth estimated at $47.2 billion.

1979 [39] Kelis (Rogers), New York City NY, pop singer (‘Milkshake’, ‘Bossy’)

1983 [35] Brody Jenner, Los Angeles CA, reality star (“The Hills” 2007-2010, “Keeping Up with the Kardashians”)

1986 [32] Usain Bolt, Trelawny, Jamaica, recently retired world’s fastest sprinter (8 Olympic gold medals; 11 World Championship golds)/world 100 meter record (9.58) & 200 meter record (19.19)

1988 [30] Kacey Musgraves, Alba TX, country singer (“Merry Go ‘Round”)

1989 [29] Hayden Panettiere, Palisades NY, TV actress (‘Juliette Barnes’ on “Nashville” 2012-18, “Heroes” 2006-09)

• “Senior Citizens Day”, the 31st annual observance to recognize and show appreciation for the value and contribution of elders to home, family, and society.  So make sure you call Grandma and Grandpa today.  Or take them out for dinner…at 4 o’clock!

• “Spumoni Day”, saluting the Italian dessert made from layers of ice cream, whipped cream, candied fruit, and nuts. It is typically made with 3 layers of flavor: Chocolate, Pistachio, Cherry.

• “Poets Day”, poetry is a form of writing that uses the aesthetic and rhythmic qualities of a language, combined with simile and metaphor, to bring out meanings deeper than the mere definition of the words. (And that was a fairly poetic description, don’t you think?)

• “Brazilian Blowout Day”, for those who haven’t tried it, the hair-smoothing process can take hair from frizzy and out-of-control to soft and impossibly shiny in just one sitting.

[Wed] Eat a Peach Day

[Wed] Tooth Fairy Day

[Thurs] Buttered Corn Day

[Thurs] Hug Your Sweetheart Day

2009 [09] “Inglourious Basterds”, Quentin Tarantino’s long-in-the-works satire about an American-led WW2 killing squad, opens in movie theaters

2005 [13] Rolling Stones kick off “A Bigger Bang” world tour at Fenway Park in Boston  MA (after pauses for a concussion and alcohol rehab, it wraps 2 years later as the highest-grossing tour-to-date at over $558 million)

2017 [01] During the historic solar eclipse, Bonnie Tyler sings ‘Total Eclipse Of The Heart’ on a cruise ship, while Ozzy Osbourne performs ‘Bark At The Moon’ in Carterville, IL

2004 [14] American swimmer Michael Phelps wins his 8th medal of the 2004 Athens Olympics, tying him with Soviet gymnast Aleksandr Dityatin for most medals in a single Olympics (he eventually becomes the most decorated athlete in Olympic history with a total of 28 medals, including 23 golds)

2015 [03] Oldest “message in a bottle” – more than 108 years after it was put in the sea by UK Marine Biological Association, it was announced found on beach in Amrum, Germany


✓ When a person cries and the first drop of tears come from the right eye, its happiness. if it from left eye, it’s pain.
✓ Human lips are red because of a great concentration of tiny capillaries just below the skin.
✓ Brown eyes are blue underneath, and you can actually get a surgery to turn brown eyes blue.
✓ An ant’s sense of smell is stronger than a dog’s.
✓ All pandas in the world are on loan from China.
✓ Dolphins recognize and admire themselves in mirrors.

• We arrive at parties dressed the same.
• I check out other girls. And I’m a cashier.
• I introduce her to other women as my roommate.
• I call her Yanni. Her name’s Laurel.
• I’m her boyfriend.  Which could explain why she left six months ago…
• I give her commands. But that’s how Alexa works.
• I bring my wife along.
• I ask her to calm down.
• I call her “The One Who Wouldn’t Go Away.”
• Wait?  I have a girlfriend?

1. What is the female equivalent of “John Doe” when describing an anonymous plaintiff in a lawsuit or an unidentified corpse?
a.  Sally Doe
b.  Mary Doe
c.  Jane Doe [CORRECT]
d. Doh Doe

2. Which of the following ingredients was NOT part of the long-running “Two all-beef patties…” commercial jingle for McDonald’s Big Mac hamburger?
a. ketchup [CORRECT]
b. pickles
c. cheese
d. onions

I don’t have a problem with caffeine.  I have a problem without caffeine!

What is the most dramatic way that you have ever quit a job?

Question:  When applying for a new job, more than 30% of people said THIS was the worst thing about their previous Job.  What?
Answer:  The coffee

The best view comes after the hardest climb.


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