August 31 2018

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Friday, August 31, 2018 – Edition: #6284

The BS Press!

There will be no “Bull Sheet” on Monday Sept 3, the Labour Day holiday. The Bull Sheet will resume on Tuesday, September 4th.

★ Tonya Harding is returning to TV, but this time, she won’t be dancing. The former figure skater will be turning up the heat in the kitchen on the Food Network. Following her stint on ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars,” Harding will now appear on the upcoming season of the reality series. “Worst Cooks in America: Celebrity Edition.”  Harding will make her debut on the show when it returns next year.
★ Roseanne Barr is grateful for John Goodman’s support.  She took to Twitter to speak out after Goodman defended her in an interview.  On Sunday, Goodman said he was “surprised” by ABC’s firing of Barr for a racist tweet against Valerie Jarrett, a former senior adviser to Barack Obama. He also insisted that Barr is “not a racist.”  This week, Barr tweeted: “I thank John Goodman for speaking truth about me, despite facing certain peril from producers and network.” Goodman played her onscreen husband, Dan Conner, on “Roseanne” for 10 seasons.
(So by now, he’s smart enough not to draw her wrath!)
★ Paramount Pictures has pushed back the much-anticipated sequel to “Top Gun” from July 2019 to June 2020.  The reason for the delay?  According to those involved in the project, more time is needed to work out the logistics of producing flight sequences using new technology.  The sequel will be set in a world of drone technology and will explore the end of the era of dog-fighting, with Cruise portraying a flight instructor.  The original was released in 1986.
★ A Broadway musical version of “Mrs. Doubtfire” is in the works. The 1993 comedy movie starred the late Robin Williams alongside Sally Field and Pierce Brosnan.  It’s been confirmed that the film will be transformed into a stage production. Casting news and dates for the show have yet to be announced.
★ Dwayne Johnson will play the Hawaiian king Kamehameha in Warner Bros.’ epic “The King”. Kamehameha is known as the founder and first ruler of the kingdom of Hawaii. Johnson, who is of Polynesian decent, has been hoping to make a movie about Kamehameha for the better of the past two decades. Robert Zemeckis will direct.  Last year, a Hawaiian Kahu, a priest, held a ceremony blessing the project and Johnson.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jeff Daniels, Wolf Blitzer, Charlie Puth (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Tom Cruise, Parker Posey, Jorja Smith (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Trevor Noah, Liza Koshy, Two Feet (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Seth Rogen, Alyssa Milano, Chef Angie Mar, Joey Castillo (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Diane Keaton, Andy Garcia, James Acaster (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Eric Stonestreet, Evangeline Lilly (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Josh Holloway, Nancy O’Dell (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Highlights from Kelly & Ryan’s first year together as co-hosts
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Cardi B, Bazzi (R)
• “TKO: Total Knock Out” (CBS): A former Army reserve captain, a construction worker, a longshoreman, a mini-horse breeder and a youth basketball coach take on the obstacle course.
• “Whistleblower” CBS): Season 1 finale

• “Pink Collar Crimes” (CBS): Phoenix-based housewife Robin Ramirez took extreme couponing to a whole new level when she orchestrated the largest and most lucrative fake coupon scam in U.S. history.
• “My Cat From Hell” (ANIMAL PLANET): Season 10 premiere

• “Big Brother 20” (CBS): The new Head of Households takes power and nominates two Houseguests for eviction.
• “College Football” (ABC): Miami vs. LSU. From AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas.

• Kanye West — broke down in tears during a live radio interview, and says his outbursts can be traced back to one of his senior advisors not being around. Ye spoke on the infamous slavery comments that he made before the release of his new album, saying the whole incident would not have happened if his old support system was still in place.
• Ed Sheeran — plays himself in Danny Boyle’s next film, his first significant big screen role. Sheeran says that unlike his appearances in “Games of Thrones”, this time, “I got to actually kind of learn how to act.”  The as-yet-untitled movie is set for release in September 2019.
• Michael Jackson — is earning more money after his death than he did when he was alive. Jackson tops the Forbes top-earning dead celebrities list for the seventh time, with his estate earning $74 million in the past year. 
• Olivia Newton-John – will duet with Sir Cliff Richard on his first album of original material in 14 years.  The long-time friends will team up on ‘Everybody’s Someone’.  The record, which features four of Cliff’s hits featuring The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, comes out November 23.
• Rolling Stones – “Sympathy for the Devil (One Plus One)”, A 1968 movie based around the recording of the classic, will be re-released to mark its 50th anniversary. The 4K restoration will be available on DVD, Blu-ray and via digital channels on Oct. 5. Celebratory screenings will take place in New York and L.A..
• Dire Straits – “Dire Straits Legacy”, which features four members of Dire Straits alongside former Yes member Trevor Horn and Steve Ferrone from Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, have announced their first-ever U.S. tour. In a statement, the group saud: “The Dire Straits Legacy project was born from our love and respect for the music of Dire Straits, and to bring the music to fans who have been starved of hearing it played live by the musicians who made it, for far too long.”  They have seven shows booked starting in late September.
• Luke Bryan — has announced the lineup for his 10th annual Farm Tour: Chase Rice, Jon Langston, the Peach Pickers (Ben Hayslip, Dallas Davidson, Rhett Akins) and DJ Rock will all appear on the tour, which will make six stops this fall at farms in Ohio, Illinois, Iowa, Florida, South Carolina and Georgia between Sept. 27–Oct. 6.
• Kip Moore — In June he revealed that he had plans for not one but three new projects, including a new acoustic album that will showcase a stripped-down, intimate side of his songwriting. Now, he says that fans will have that project in their hands very soon. “It’s right around the corner.  That’s the update. I’m finished.”

• “Searching” (PG-13, Mystery/Suspense — opening in wide release today):  After his 16-year-old daughter goes missing, a desperate father breaks into her laptop to look for clues to find her. (John Cho, Debra Messing)
• “Operation Finale” (PG-13/Drama):  A team of secret agents set out to track down the Nazi officer who masterminded the Holocaust. (Oscar Isaac, Ben Kingsley)
• “Kin” (PG-13, Action/Adventure):  Chased by a vengeful criminal, the feds, and a gang of otherworldly soldiers, a recently released ex-con and his adopted teenage brother are forced to go on the run with a weapon of mysterious origin as their only protection. (James Franco, Zoë Kravitz, Dennis Quaid)
• “Destination Wedding” (R-Rated, Comedy/Drama):  Two miserable and unpleasant wedding guests develop a mutual affection despite themselves. (Keanu Reeves, Winona Ryder)
• “The Little Stranger” (R-Rated, Drama/Horror):  After a doctor is called to visit a crumbling manor, strange things begin to occur. (Domhnall Gleeson, Ruth Wilson)
• “Reprisal” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure):  A veteran looks to raise money for his son’s healthcare by teaming up with another vet to track down criminals. (Bruce Willis, Frank Grillo)

For some, the most wonderful time of the year is almost here:  Pumpkin Spice season.  And if you are one of those people who want pumpkin spice in everything from your Oreos to your…pumpkin spice…here is some good news:  The spices that are mixed together to make pumpkin spice each have their own health benefits. That’s right:  Pumpkin spice is actually pretty good for you.   The flavor is generally made up of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cloves, and allspice.   Cinnamon is thought to help control blood sugar levels, nutmeg has been used to treat many afflictions including cancer and kidney disease, but more research is needed.  Ginger seems to be an effective treatment for nausea and morning sickness.  Cloves are commonly used to treat toothaches, and allspice is a treatment for things like intestinal gas, diarrhea, flu and colds.  And let’s not forget pumpkin.  Pumpkin isn’t actually an ingredient in ALL pumpkin spice products, but if it is used, you’re in luck.  Pumpkin is high in vitamin A, which is good for your eyes, skin, and fighting infections.
(Wait!  What about the whip cream?  Tell me something good about the whip cream!)
(Now there’s a dietary supplement that I can get into!)
(I used to love that stuff until that unfortunate overdose incident a few years ago…)

A new study has found that couples who drink together are generally happier.  Researchers wanted to see if there was a correlation between drinking and marital happiness, specifically among older couples.  What they found was that…yes, they are happier…to a point.  The study found that: “Concordant drinking couples reported decreased negative marital quality over time, and these links were significantly greater among wives.”  That means they basically found that if both members of the couple are drinking in moderation, they’re both happy. But if only one of them is drinking, well, that’s no so good.
(But they do have a better chance of getting home safely!)
(…although if only one drinks, the booze lasts twice as long…so one of them is happy!)

Warren Buffet is worth $85 billion and drives a used car.  It wasn’t until 2011 that billionaire Mark Zuckerberg moved out of his rental into a five-bedroom house.  Here are some other ways that the filthy rich tend to live beneath their means:
► Overspending adds up, but so does saving:   At age 25, to retire with $1 million, you need to save less than $4 a day — the price of a cup of coffee.  (Some mornings, the coffee is worth more than the million bucks!)
► Budget ahead of time: Use the 50/20/30 rule to divvy up your income into needs, wants, and savings before you ever have to make a decision in the moment.  (I’m fairly sure the government is the ‘50’ part…)
► Think it through:  When you’re tempted to buy something you don’t really need, thinking about the possessions you already own is a research-backed way to resist the urge.  (Not the stuff I own!)
► Make saving a regular habit:  Make it just like brushing your teeth, rather than a nebulous, long-term goal.  (But don’t make it a kinda-regular habit like flossing, or you’re doomed!)
► Think about the money in your bank account as hours of your life:  You spent hours making it, after all. How many hours of your life are those new shoes worth to you?  (For me, it’s more like sand through my fingers than hours of my life…)
(Right now, I’m kinda stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once…”)
(Like they say, “Money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness”.)
(To me, if you live within your means, you suffer from a lack of imagination.)


1945 [73] Van Morrison, Belfast, Northern Ireland, classic rock-pop-blues singer (‘Moondance’, ‘Brown Eyed Girl’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1993)

1949 [69] Richard Gere, Philadelphia PA, movie actor (“An Officer and a Gentleman”, “Pretty Woman”)

1970 [48] Deborah Gibson, Brooklyn NY, pop singer (‘Only in My Dreams’, ‘Lost in your Eyes’)

1972 [46] Chris Tucker, Atlanta GA, movie actor (“Rush Hour” movies)/stand-up comedian

1975 [43] Sara Ramirez, Mazatlan, Mexico, TV actress (‘Dr Callie Torres’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2006)/Broadway actress (Tony Award -“Spamalot”)

TV actress Lily Tomlin (“Grace and Frankie”) is 79; Pop singer Barry Gibb (Bee-Gees –‘Stayin’ Alive’) is 72; Talk show host Dr. Phil is 68; Pop singer Gloria Estefan (Miami Sound Machine-‘Conga’) is 61; Movie actress Zendaya (“The Greatest Showman”) is 22

TV personality Terry Bradshaw (“FOX NFL Sunday”) is 70; TV actor Mark Harmon (“NCIS”) is 67; Movie actor Keanu Reeves (“The Matrix”) is 54; Movie actress Salma Hayek (“Frida”) is 52

• “Eat Outside Day”, a great excuse to eat outside one more time before Summer comes to an end and we all get busy with Fall activities.

• “Love Litigating Lawyers Day”, Well, they DO love litigating… (You know the problem with making lawyer jokes? Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and no one else thinks they’re jokes).

• “Trail Mix Day”, celebrating the combination of nuts, seeds, dried fruits (bark, twigs, compost, etc.) that takes about a gallon of water to wash down.

• “Matchmaker Day”, honoring those romantics (aka busybodies) whose dauntless pursuit of perfect matches for cupid’s arrow results in long-lasting love stories. Playing matchmaker requires a bit of social savvy, the ability to listen, and timing.

• “Forgive Your Foe Friday”, try to find enough forgiveness in your heart to alleviate the anger, confusion or hatred you may be feeling towards other people or even towards yourself.

• “World Testicle Cooking Championship” (aka “Ballscup”), the 15th annual 3-day weekend event in Rudnik, Serbia. Serving up a variety of testicles, including wildlife. Yummy.

• “September”. In Latin ‘septem’ means ‘seventh’. That’s because back in the day when the New Year started in March, September was in fact the 7th month.

•“First Day of Spring” in Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa, so designated by tradition, not any relation to the Vernal Equinox.

• “No Rhyme Nor Reason Day”, a celebration of words that don’t rhyme with any other words (aka refractory rhymes), ie: angel, month, orange, purple, silver.

• “Bacon Day”, it’s more or less your duty today to break out the frying pan and indulge in the scrumptiousness of a well-salted strip of pork belly. Vegetarians, should they feel left out of the bacon brigade, can get in on the action with fakon, or even bacon-scented lip balm and bar soap (and that’s just a small sampling of all the bacon-related products out there).

• “Pierce Your Ears Day”.  At what age is it acceptable for a child to have hers (or his) done?

• “Blueberry Popsicle Day”, a celebration of the flavor that leaves your lips and tongue looking like some kind of purple-fleshed alien.

• “World Coconut Day”, a celebration for those with coconut-know how and hopefully enlightening to those yet to discover this magical fruit (not nut!).

1997 [21] Diana, Princess of Wales, is killed at age 36 in a car crash in a tunnel near the Eiffel Tower in Paris. Also killed are her Egyptian-born companion, Dodi Fayed, and their driver, Henri Paul. Bodyguard Trevor Rees-Jones, the only one wearing a seat-belt, survives.

2004 [14] Hollywood action star-turned-California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger addresses the Republican National Convention, telling pessimists about the economy not to be “girly men”

2007 [11] Horror thriller remake “Halloween”, directed by rocker-filmmaker Rob Zombie, opens in movie theaters

2002 [16] NASA announces *NSYNC’s 23-year-old Lance Bass as the first celebrity astronaut, aboard a future Russian Soyuz mission (doesn’t happen as he fails to pay the $20-million tab)

2004 [14] Green Day releases ‘American Idiot’, the first single and title song of their upcoming landmark album, to be released three weeks later.

2006 [12] Stolen on August 22, 2004, Edvard Munch’s famous painting “The Scream” is recovered from a raid by Norwegian police. It is said to be in a better-than-expected condition

2015 [03] Barack Obama restores the Native American name of the tallest North American peak, Alaska’s Mount McKinley, announcing it will revert to its former name of Denali

1995 [27] 6 people die attempting to rescue a chicken that has fallen down a well in southern Egypt (only the chicken survives)


✓ Shoelaces untie themselves because the knot is subjected to forces of up to 7G with every step that the wearer takes.
✓ In 1987, American Airlines saved $40,000 by removing one olive from every salad served to their first class passengers.
✓ Drowning, not thirst, is the leading cause of accidental deaths in the Sahara Desert
✓ Wasps get aggressive towards the end of summer because they get drunk on fermenting fruit hanging from the trees.
✓ In a room with 23 people, there is a 50% chance of two of them having the same birthday. If there are 70 people, it increases to 99.9%.
✓ It takes a week to 10 days to make a jellybean.

• A ‘BBQ spit’ does NOT refer to saliva.
• Singed eyelashes normally grow back in about 3 weeks.
• Cleaning the grill with your wife’s hairbrush is unsanitary.
• Always double-check that you’re not barbecuing the dog’s chew toy.
• Toss out that book you got for Father’s Day called “Cooking With Squid”.
• Shave hands and arms to prevent flame-ups.
• If it moos when you put a fork in it, slap it back on.
• A real man doesn’t wear an apron with a cute saying on it.
• Friends don’t let friends BBQ drunk! (a message from MABB, mothers against burnt burgers).
– First published in “BS” 2000.

• Batman Begins . . . Preschool
• Meet the Lockers
• The Fifth Elementary
• Look Who’s Chalking
• The A+ Team
• From Desk ‘til Dawn
• No Country for Old Math
• Close Encounters of the Third Grade Kind
• The Curious Pencil Case of Benjamin Button
• Get Out – Your Alarm Clock

What current or past song defines Summer for you?

If you’re going to do something tonight that you’re going to be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

Question:  Men are 4 times more likely to do this at a party than women. What?
Answer: Leave without saying goodbye or thanks to the host

You can’t leave footprints in the sands of time if you’re sitting on your butt.  And who wants to leave butt prints in the sands of time?


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