Friday, August 4, 2023 — Edition: #7531
Here’s More Bull Roar!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
The Bull Sheet is headed off for its annual summer holiday next week, and will not be publishing Monday August 7 through Friday August 11. All subscribers will receive credit for non-service days. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Monday August 14.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Lizzo has broken her silence on allegations of sexual harassment and discrimination, roundly denying the “sensationalized” stories that resulted from a lawsuit by 3 former dancers who accused her of sexual harassment and creating a hostile workplace. In a statement on Instagram, Lizzo wrote: “Usually I choose not to respond to false allegations but these are as unbelievable as they sound and too outrageous to not be addressed. These sensationalized stories are coming from former employees who have already publicly admitted that they were told their behavior on tour was inappropriate and unprofessional.” Later in the statement, she said: “Sometimes I have to make hard decisions but it’s never been my intention to make anyone feel uncomfortable or like they aren’t valued as an important part of the team.” She implored fans and followers to know that she is not “the villain” that she has been portrayed to be. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2s4bxfrn
★ “Barbie” passed “Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse” on Wednesday to become the top-grossing domestic movie this summer, with a total take of $381.7 million in 12 days. The Margot Robbie/Ryan Gosling film has also exceeded $800 million in worldwide earnings. It also passed “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3” to become this summer’s biggest global earner, and the year’s second-biggest title behind “The Super Mario Bros. Movie” ($1.35 billion). By the end of this weekend, Barbie is expected to pass the $1 billion mark.
★ Leah Remini is being stalked and harassed by the Church of Scientology as part of a coordinated campaign to destroy her life — because she left the religion, according to a new lawsuit. The actress has filed suit against the Church of Scientology and its leader, David Miscavige, saying Scientology is set on making her life a living hell now that she’s no longer a part of the church. Remini claims the church is stalking and harassing her, defaming her, and is determined to silence her and others who are critical of it.
★ The SAG-AFTRA Foundation’s Emergency Assistance Program has raised over $15 million since the actors’ union went on strike on July 14. Hollywood A-listers who have each donated $1 million or more include George and Amal Clooney, Luciana and Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Hugh Jackman and Deborra-lee Furness, Dwayne Johnson, Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively, Julia Roberts, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Meryl Streep, and Oprah Winfrey. SAG-AFTRA Foundation President Courtney B. Vance said in a statement: “Our Emergency Financial Assistance Program is here to ensure that performers in need don’t lose their homes, have the ability to pay for utilities, buy food for their families, purchase life-saving prescriptions, cover medical bills and more.”
★ Gal Gadot is keeping hope for a “Wonder Woman 3” alive, despite big changes going on at DC Studios. In an interview with ComicBook.com, she said she has heard from new DC bosses James Gunn and Peter Safran about developing a third “Wonder Woman” movie. Quote: “I love portraying Wonder Woman. It’s so close to and dear to my heart. From what I heard from James and from Peter is that we’re gonna develop a ‘Wonder Woman 3’ together.” Last December, news broke that Warner had passed on director Patty Jenkins’ script.
★ George Romero’s zombies are set to “live” again — or walk around again, at least – 6 years after the director passed away. The production company Roundtable Entertainment has announced it is partnering with the Romero estate to make the film “Twilight of the Dead”, based on a treatment by the filmmaker and Paolo Zelati. The movie is described as “the 7th and final installment of the seminal Living Dead film franchise.” Shooting is scheduled to begin in Puerto Rico later this year. (Leave it to Romero to “come back from the dead”…)
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jamie Lee Curtis, Lucas Bravo; Midland and Jon Pardi perform (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Mark Wahlberg, Billy Porter, AJR (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Sir Patrick Stewart, Ke Huy Quan, Boyz II Men (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Gwen Stefani, Grant Morrison (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Jennifer Tilly, David Begnaud guest co-hosts (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Marcus Scribner
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Jay Hernandez, Derek Hough performs (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Alan Cumming, the cast of “Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies” (R)
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Jay Ellis (R)
• “Secret Celebrity Renovation” (CBS): Season 3 premiere. Phil Keoghan; Max Thieriot
• “Witness to Murder: Digital Evidence” (A&E): Series premiere. Reveals how technology has become the new frontier in solving homicides; surprising ways that cell phone data and tech can be critical in murder investigations.
• “CMT Summer Sessions” (CMT): Jordan Davis shares childhood summer memories and his love of fishing, and performs songs including ‘Buy Dirt’ and ‘Almost Maybes’.
• “Ms. Marvel” (ABC): Series premiere. Kamala Khan attends Avengercon, only to discover that she herself may have superpowers.
• “Great Chocolate Showdown” (CW): Season 4 premiere
• “The Final Say” (BET): A married couple decides to go their separate ways after dealing with the aftermath of infertility and loss. But they quickly learn that a higher power has the final say.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Hosts Steve Martin and Martin Short; Brandi Carlile performs. (R)
• “Celebrity Family Feud” (ABC): NFLPA All Stars vs. NFLPA Hall of Fame and Adam Devine vs. Anders Holm
• “HouseBroken” (FOX): Season 2 finale
• “Worst Cooks in America” (FOOD): Season 26 premiere
• “Winning Time: The Rise of the Lakers Dynasty” (HBO): Season 2 premiere. A dramatic look at the glitz and glamour of 1980s Los Angeles and the rise of the Lakers, Dr. Jerry Buss and Magic Johnson.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Taylor Swift — Maybe it was the plea from the Prime Minister that did it — she has finally announced some Canadian tour dates. Swift is set to play 6 shows at the Rogers Centre in Toronto in November 2024. She’ll be the first artist to ever play 6 straight shows at Rogers Centre. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/38n33khn
(***Preview for content***) • Olivia Rodrigo – has finally revealed the “Guts” tracklist, and what a tracklist it is! After teasing song titles in a messy bedroom vid, she dropped a second clip, revealing that he second album, out Sept. 8, will include song names like ‘all american b—h’, ‘get him back’, ‘pretty isn’t pretty’ and ‘love is embarrassing’. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/4fhr2p5t
• Cardi B – The microphone she threw into the audience after being doused by a drink during a Vegas show is now being tossed onto the auction block. The owner of the production company, which owns the mic, has decided to sell it to benefit a few charities. BTW, Cardi is now listed as a suspect for battery because the woman who was struck by the mic reported the incident to cops.
• Mammoth WVH – has shared a new video for ‘I’m Alright’, from Wolfgang Van Halen’s second full-length album “Mammoth II”, which drops today. Quote: “I think it’s really funny that the lyrics are quite angry but delivered through the lens of sort of a comfy rock song.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/9fy94399
• Metallica – has announced its brand new podcast “The Metallica Report”. It promises “a quick, weekly hit with news, interviews, features, & surprises directly from HQ and the road. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3avpsz2k
• The Police – drummer Stewart Copeland will publish “The Police Diaries” this fall, telling the story of the band’s first 3 years. It will feature previously unseen photos and unreleased demo tapes of home recordings. There are 3 versions of the book, based on his diaries, including numbered and signed editions. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/24cn5abd
• Jon Pardi — will become a member of the Grand Ole Opry on October 24. The announcement comes after Guy Fieri and Alan Jackson invited him to join the Opry during his performance at Stagecoach Festival in April. He’ll be the first California native to be a Grand Ole Opry member.
• Kelsea Ballerini — has announced a deluxe version of her EP “Rolling Up the Welcome Mat”, out Aug. 11. The new version, subtitled “(For Good)”, incorporates all the musical tweaks and lyric changes she has made to the EP’s songs as she has performed them live throughout this year, plus one new song: ‘How Do I Do This’. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/y7c28d59
• Jelly Roll & Brentley Gilbert – Jelly jumped onstage during Gilbert’s set opening for Nickelback in Nashville Tuesday, and the pair performed ‘Son of the Dirty South’, a mish-mash of hard rock, hard-edged country, and rap that the two released in 2022. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/yytvdfx3
SHOOTING THE BULL
THIS WEEK’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem” (PG, Comedy/Family, opened Wed.): The Turtle brothers set out to win the hearts of New Yorkers and be accepted as normal teenagers. New friend, April, helps them take on a mysterious crime syndicate, but they’re soon in over their heads when an army of mutants is unleashed. (Michah Abbey, Shamon Brown Jr.) Tomatometer: 96%, Audience score: 94%
• “Meg 2: The Trench” (PG-13, Mystery/Thriller): A research team exploring the depths of the ocean finds their voyage spirals into chaos when they encounter multiple threats, including a malevolent mining operation. (Jason Statham, Jing Wu) No Tomatometer rating.
‘KEN’ YOU DO IT?
☞ Calling all real-life ‘Kens’: If you’ve seen the movie, you know what his occupation is, and here’s your chance to follow his lead. Luxury hotel line Coco Collection has posted a job listing for someone to live like Ken (played by Ryan Gosling), who in the movie, says that his job is “just Beach.” The “job” opening is at Coco Bodu Hithi resort in the Maldives, and one lucky applicant will be flown there to take on the job of “Beach” for 10 days “with a partner or Allan of their choosing.” They will enjoy the “full board meal plan,” return flights, no actual responsibilities — and one massage each, because working as “Beach” for 10 days “is tiring work.” Here are some of the criteria that job applicants must meet:
• Ability to stand proudly in the sand
• Empty their head of all thoughts
• Keep track of the morning waves
• Have their rollerblades with them at all times (though good luck using them on the sandy beaches of the island…)
• Know the words to ‘Push’ by Matchbox Twenty by heart
• Have 60 years experience as “Beach” (preferred but not essential)
The lucky hiree will also get a “guaranteed” tan and “perfect hair at Beach’s discretion,” though no official uniform, but access to an entire wardrobe of accessories. Apply here: https://www.cococollection.com/en/coco/hes_just_ken
(Just one thing…will they fly me there on “The Barbie Dream Plane”?)
With heatwaves everywhere these days, a survey was commissioned to find out what methods people are using to cool down when the A/C just won’t cut it. Some of the wackiest ways to beat the heat include stealing the dog’s cool mat, putting bedsheets in the freezer . . . and spraying blankets with water before bedtime. The survey of 2,000 Brit adults also found that some people cool down by sleeping naked, lying on ceramic or stone floors, or by sitting in a stationary vehicle with the air conditioning on full blast. And have you ever tried this one? Hanging a wet sheet in front of an open window to cool the breeze is a popular way to beat the heat — and so is sitting with your feet in icy water.
(Does no one else simply stay cool by snuggling up to their wife’s icy feet?)
(What’s your miracle heat-beater?)
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A British Columbia real estate agent has been fined $20,000 after being caught on camera drinking milk straight out of the jug — at a home he was showing. The BC Financial Services Authority says Mike Rose was alone in the Kamloops home last July as he waited for clients to arrive for a viewing. He went to the refrigerator to find water, but instead swigged some milk straight from the container, which he then put back in the fridge. The owners of the home saw him drinking the milk when they reviewed footage from a surveillance camera, and confronted him 2 days later. Rose is now working for a different brokerage. (I don’t know about the realtor, but the homeowners are definitely ‘lactose intolerant’!)
➢ The man who is the founder of the Enhanced Games is not only against drug testing, he is actually endorsing the use of performance-enhancing drugs. London businessman Aron D’Souza is planning a series of athletic competitions, open for anyone to apply, designed with the goal of breaking world records. He hopes to bring the Enhanced Games to life in December 2024 as an alternative to the so-called “corrupt” Olympics. D’Souza says competitors will be paid a salary, plus a “large cash prize for breaking a world record”. He claims to be creating an alternative elite sporting competition, which will give “elite athletes the choice between a life of poverty and…financial well-being.” He feels that the underpayment of athletes is the core failing of the Olympics. Athletes at the enhanced Games will be given free range to use performance-enhancing drugs. (Warped idea or not, you’ve got to admit you’d watch it!)
DID YOU KNOW?
The saying “an apple a day keeps the doctor away” might need an update. A new study says a daily helping of strawberries may keep cognitive decline and heart disease away. Strawberries are powerful antioxidants, and in a release, the School of Exercise and Nutrition Sciences at San Diego State said their study “demonstrates that consuming strawberries may promote cognitive function and improve cardiovascular risk factors like hypertension. We’re encouraged that a simple dietary change, like adding strawberries to the daily diet, may improve these outcomes in older adults.” Previous research has shown that that eating a few strawberries each day may also improve gut health and provide some relief of inflammatory bowel disease. (Still – they’re just not my jam!)
BS CHRONOMETER 08.04.23
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Chocolate Chip Day”, saluting those tiny morsels of decadence that make almost any dessert taste better. (There are hardly any calories in them, right? They’re just little.)
• “Coast Guard Day” in America. The ‘Revenue Cutter Service’, formed on this date in 1790, merged with the ‘Life Saving Service’ in 1915 to become the US Coast Guard.
• “Single Working Women’s Day”, much more than a vision of 1990s “Sex and the City”-era feminism. It’s a way to honor all those single women who work hard for their money and often face very different obstacles than men in the workplace.
• “Assistance Dog Day”, created to recognize all of the devoted, hardworking assistance dogs helping individuals mitigate their disability-related limitations.
• “International Beer Day”, celebrating suds from around-the-world. So, the best beer in the world is …? (The next one?) According to the latest ranking by tens-of-thousands of tasters at ratebeer.com, #1 is Toppling Goliath Kentucky Brunch (USA).
• “Oyster Day”, celebrating the shell-shucked crustacean enjoyed by many as a delicacy. (What brave soul could have first decided to eat one of these icky-looking things?)
• “Underwear Day”, the 19th annual organized by online retailer FreshPair.com, which normally attracts hundreds of “underwearers” to NYC’s Times Square. It’s a good excuse to take a vote: Boxers, Briefs, Boxer-Briefs, or Commando?
• “Mustard Day”, honoring the ‘condiment of kings’. It’s sponsored by Middleton, Wisconsin’s Mustard Museum, home of the world’s largest collection of mustard memorabilia. (Now THAT’S gotta be exciting!) LINK: https://mustardmuseum.com/
• “Work Like a Dog Day”, an opportunity to recognize those individuals who work especially hard. (I’m not sure I’ve EVER seen my dog work!)
• “Fresh Breath Day”, a gentle reminder to maintain oral hygiene. If you’re average, you have over 10 billion bacteria in your mouth right now. Some of them churn out stinky chemicals such as hydrogen sulphide, the same gas that gives rotten eggs their odor.
• “Root Beer Float Day”, saluting the yummy-tasting treat that is made by plopping ice cream into a flagon of root beer. Did you know root beer started out as a health tonic?
• “Wiggle Your Toes Day”, a chance to air out your piggies, wiggling them around for all to see. The best place to wiggle your toes on a hot August day is in a swimming pool. Or, sit on a dock and stick your wiggly digits in the water.
• “Civic Holiday” in parts of Canada (Manitoba, Ontario, NWT, & Nunavut). It’s observed as “New Brunswick Day” in NB; “Saskatchewan Day” in SK; “British Columbia Day” in BC, “Simcoe Day” in Toronto ON; “Colonel By Day” in Ottawa ON; “Heritage Day” in Alberta; “Terry Fox Day” in MB; and the semi-holiday “Natal Day” in Nova Scotia. For everybody else, it’s just … Monday.
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1955  Billy Bob Thornton, Hot Springs AR, movie actor (“Bad Santa”, “Sling Blade”)/TV actor (“Fargo” 2014)
1961  Barack Obama, Honolulu HI, American politician (US President 2009-17, Illinois Senator 2005-08)/ /Nobel Peace Prize, 2009
1968  Daniel Dae Kim, Busan South Korea, TV actor (‘Jin-Soo Kwon’ on “Lost” 2004-2010, ‘Chin Ho Kelly’ on “Hawaii Five-0″ 2010-2017)/movie actor (“Hellboy”, “Divergent Series” films)
1971  Jeff Gordon, Vallejo CA, auto racer/owner (4-time NASCAR champ, 3-time “Daytona 500” winner)
1981  Meghan Markle, Los Angeles CA, British Royal (Duchess of Sussex through her marriage to Prince Harry)/TV actress (“Suits” 2011-2018, “Harry & Meghan” documentary)
1983  Greta Gerwig, Sacramento CA, movie director (“Barbie”, “Little Women”)/movie actress (“Greenberg”)
1992  Cole Sprouse, Arezzo Italy, TV actor (‘Jughead’ on “Riverdale” 2017-2023, “Suite Life of Zack and Cody” 2005-08)
1992  Dylan Sprouse, Arezzo Italy, TV actor (“Suite Life of Zack and Cody” 2005-08)
SATURDAY- Pat Smear (Foo Fighters) is 64; Mark Strong (“The Imitation Game”) is 62; James Gunn (director-“Guardians of the Galaxy”) is 57; Terri Clark (‘Better Things to Do’) is 55; Whit Sellers (Old Dominion) is 44; Jesse Williams (“Grey’s Anatomy”) is 42
SUNDAY- M. Night Shyamalan (director-“The Sixth Sense”) is 53; Geri Halliwell (Spice Girls) is 51; Vera Farmiga (“Bates Motel”) is 50; Travis McCoy (Gym Class Heroes) is 42; Leslie Odom Jr (“Hamilton”) is 42; Eric Roberts (Gym Class Heroes) is 39
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1962  Marilyn Monroe, star of “Some Like It Hot” and “The Seven Year Itch”, is found dead of an apparent self-inflicted drug overdose at age 36
2015  Muppets ‘Miss Piggy’ and ‘Kermit the Frog’ announce the end to their relationship on Twitter
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2010  Former Fugees musician Wyclef Jean announces his intention to run for President of Haiti (it is later revealed that he is not eligible)
2021  Forbes declares Rihanna the richest female musician – by far. Her $1.7 billion fortune is roughly double that of Madonna, who is #2 on the list. Most of Rihanna’s earnings are from her Fenty Beauty line.
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2012  At the London Games, South Africa’s Oscar Pistorius (‘The Blade Runner’) becomes the first amputee sprinter to compete in the Olympics (now a convicted murderer)
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Chewing gum for an hour burns about 11 calories.
✓ According to a study, kids fight with their brothers and sisters an average of 5 times per day.
✓ Very tall buildings naturally lean toward the sun.
✓ Birds do not sweat.
✓ The pleasant feeling of eating chocolate is caused by a chemical called anadamide, a neurotransmitter which also is produced naturally in the brain.
✓ There are 13 minerals found in beer that are necessary for human life.
Best of BS . . .
BS EXCUSES TO AVOID COMMITMENT:
• My parents’ basement only sleeps one.
• I’m already in a committed relationship with TikTok.
• My Magic 8-ball said ‘no’.
• I hate sharing food.
• I once served a 20-year sentence. I’m not ready to serve another.
• I only have the ‘Hers’ half of the ‘His and Hers’ towel set.
• I’m sorry, but my cat doesn’t see this working out.
• You’re just a hookup. Let’s not mess that up.
• I’m already committed. You can take that any way you like.
• I’m married.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019
BS SIGNS YOU’RE IN A BAD HOSPITAL:
• You recognize your doctor as kid who was mopping the lobby when you checked in.
• You go in for routine surgery, you come out with a tail.
• Instead of a sponge bath, they send a St Bernard to lick you.
• Every couple of minutes, you hear a bugle playing ‘Taps’.
• You and your roommate have to take turns on the I.V.
• Through the fog of anesthesia, you hear the surgeon shouting, “Bring the damn duct tape … and plenty of it!”
• Instead of ‘patient’, they use the term ‘plaintiff’.
-First published in BS in 1999
BS WEB GOODIE:
The difference between cats and dogs: https://tinyurl.com/2s3vxvjx
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. You can’t tell me that’s just a coincidence…
BS PHONE STARTER:
You’ve just won the lottery. What are you buying first?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 32% of women do THIS while getting ready to go out. What is it?
Answer: Look at their butt in the mirror
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Love the life you live. Live the life you love.