Wednesday, August 2, 2023 — Edition #7529
Bully For You!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
The Bull Sheet is headed off for its annual summer holiday next week, and will not be publishing Monday August 7 through Friday August 11. All subscribers will receive credit for non-service days. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Monday August 14.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ “Euphoria” star Angus Cloud’s mother reported a “possible overdose” after finding him unresponsive and without a pulse at his family home in Oakland CA on Monday, according to 911 audio. The call was reportedly placed at 11:30 a.m., with both Oakland police and the fire department responding. Cloud, who starred as ‘Fezco’ on Euphoria, was pronounced dead on the scene at age 25. No cause of death has been released. ET quotes a source as saying Cloud “had been battling severe suicidal thoughts” following the death of his father just weeks ago.
★ The Super Bowl is going to be “slimed” next year. The NFL is expanding its alternate broadcasts with Nickelodeon and CBS Sports. This season’s championship game, slated for February 11 in Las Vegas, will be the first to get the slime- and graphics-filled treatment for kids’ audiences, with the telecast airing on Nickelodeon. In the leadup to Super Bowl LVIII, Nickelodeon plans another alternate telecast on Christmas Day at a game in Las Vegas. CBS Sports is presenting the main game on the CBS Television Network, also streaming it on Paramount+, in addition to the Nick-ified telecast exclusively on Nickelodeon.
★ CBS has announced the 16 new Houseguests who will be moving into the “Big Brother” house for Season 25, including a Deaflympics Gold Medalist, Brand Strategist, Exterminator, Geriatric Physician, Professional Flutist, Political Consultant, and a DJ from Australia. The new season kicks off with a live 90-minute premiere tonight. The series will air Sundays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. The show will also stream on Paramount+, which will also feature the 24/7 live feed.
★ We now have a release date for the Netflix documentary series about Johnny Depp’s defamation lawsuit against his ex-wife Amber Heard. The streamer has released a trailer for “Depp v. Heard”, and announced it’ll drop on Aug. 16. Netflix says the limited series, directed by Emma Cooper, will present a neutral look at the case and what it says about the “court of public opinion.” It will have 3 episodes, and will clearly delve into the cultural impact of the case as well as the details of the lawsuit itself.
★ Dame Judi Dench’s eyesight continues to deteriorate. The Oscar-winning actress, who is 88, confessed that she “can’t see on a film set anymore”, nor is she able to read. Despite the setbacks in learning a script, Dench refuses to wallow in self-pity. She says while it’s difficult for her to learn a lengthy part, “You just deal with it. Get on.” Fortunately, Dench says she has friends to help, and “a photographic memory.” Dench, whose career spans more than half a century, was diagnosed with age-related macular degeneration in 2013.
★ Elizabeth Banks wants to make a “Cocaine Bear” sequel. Speaking with Rolling Stone, the director and actress said she “loved how subversive, crazy, silly and funny” the original movie was, and “loved surprising people with the cast.” Banks said she and the cast “had a lot of fun” making it, and “if I got the opportunity to surprise the audience and delight myself again, I would take it.”
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Mindy Kaling, Frank Grillo, Goose performs (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Kerry Washington, Jenna Lyons, St. Vincent (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jennifer Hudson, Zosia Mamet (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Ice T, John Irving, Rina Sawayama (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Gabby Windey
• “The Talk” (CBS): Monica Barbaro, guest co-host Garcelle Beauvais (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Taylor and Taylor Lautner
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Jessica Chastain, Ryan Phillippe (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Guest co-host Meghan Trainor (R)
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Milo Ventimiglia, Tori Kelly (R)
• “Big Brother” (CBS): Season 25 premiere
• “Gordon Ramsay’s Food Stars” (Fox): The remaining 6 contestants split into teams to take on a live challenge where they sell kitchen products; guest judge Alberti Popaj.
• “Does Murder Sleep?” (ID): Series premiere. In 2008, Ben Oxley is shot at point-blank range while sleeping. His wife becomes the focus of the investigation, and it takes over 2 years before investigators bring the real killer to justice.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Lizzo – has dropped an alternate “gloomy” version of ‘Pink’. The original version was used to open the “Barbie” movie. The new version, which conveys the point at which Barbie starts to lose control of her reality, was left off the soundtrack, but has now been shared online. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/ychrdhaa
• Harry Styles – His “Love on Tour” wrapped before a crowd of 100,000 people in Italy last week, after 173 dates over nearly 3 years. He performed to over 5 million fans in the 4th highest-grossing tour of all time. The tour also donated some $6.5 million to charities.
• Drake – Now, he’s getting all the bras he can handle — and some are huge. The tradition started during a NY performance, when he received a 36G bra from the crowd. The tradition continued — only this time, some ladies utterly flabbergasted him by providing L and H-cup bras. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2vjrd725
• Paul McCartney – The 81-year-old posted a cryptic message to his social channels encouraging fans to sign up for his mailing list with the promise of “news coming soon.” The post also reads: “Got to get you into my life!” He has since announced a tour of Australia and New Zealand. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3fdspz74
• ZZ Top – Tireless road dog Billy Gibbons says unlike may other bands of his age, the group has no plans for a farewell tour. He likes what Keith Richards told him on the subject: “Man, if we’re lucky enough to follow the words of Muddy Waters, he said, ‘Do it until you die.’” And Muddy did just that.
• Luke Bryan – has dropped a fun one-take music video for his single ‘But I Got A Beer In My Hand’. Filmed at Free Dreaming Farm in Springfield TN, it features him performing in a room full of partygoers. The song is currently at #12 and rising on the country charts. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/226xcadb
• Craig Morgan — During his Saturday set at the Grand Ole Opry, he surprised the audience by enlisting, and being sworn into the US Army Reserve — live on the Opry stage. He previously served 17 years in the Army and Army Reserve. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/4yfbk22c
• Tracy Lawrence – has posted a video proclaiming that his “country music Mount Rushmore” forearm tattoo is “getting real close to being done.” Who is in the tattoo? George Strait, George Jones, Keith Whitley and Merle Haggard. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2bvh3xzu
SHOOTING THE BULL
UGLY IS IN:
A facial analyst says that it’s true – people are getting less attractive – and he knows why. Shafee Hassan, a founder of facial aesthetics consultancy firm QOVES, explained the phenomenon in a TikTok response to a question about why old high-school yearbooks “contained [so] many attractive people… was it something in the water?” Hassan said: “The average person’s face is becoming increasingly disadvantaged by modern diets, sleeping patterns, pollutants, and orofacial habits. According to him, “development of the face is dependent on the forces you put on it, for the upper and lower jaw,” which is what tends to define an “attractive or handsome” face. Hassan points out that teens of the 1050s looked “so much older” than today’s teens, due to the fact that they had more defining features. His theory is that the ways in which people today are using their mouths — and the foods we put in them — can impact the development of our jaws, in some cases making us “uglier”. The video has garnered over 3.2 million views. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/bde7f7dx
(So…it’s not just me? Wait…let me rephrase that…)
(People still have plenty of defining features these days. They’re mostly tattoos and piercings…but they’re still defining features!)
Do you sometimes find yourself rushing around, trying to get things done, even if it means more effort in the long run? You might be “pre-crastinating”, and it turns out that’s a thing. Researchers at the University of California-Riverside did a study on this behavior, and concluded that some people prefer to make up their minds as soon as possible, and act quickly, rather than have to think or rethink their choices. For example, when faced with tasks like cleaning a car, some people spend extra time planning their approach, rather than diving in. A “pre-crastinator” is looking to clear their mind by making decisions right away. The study also highlights the potential consequences of pre-crastination, such as rushing important judgments or actions without considering all the evidence.
(Man! I bet they thought THAT study through ahead of time…!
(Judging by the “cleaning the car” illustration, there’s one thing that you definitely don’t have to worry about your teenagers getting into…!)
Two-thirds of people say they could live on sandwiches alone for a full week. OK, what kind of sandwiches would they suggest? According to a survey of 2,000 Americans, the perfect sandwich includes tomato, according to 54% of respondents. 39% said cheddar cheese, and the same percentage also said Black Forest ham. The favorite spreads were found to be barbecue sauce, mayo and honey mustard, all approved by 58% of people. The least favorite was ranch dressing (26%). And the best places to enjoy a sandwich? At the beach (38%), at home (36%), or in a park (36%). The average person craves a sammy 4 times a week.
(And, thanks to this story, one of those times is RIGHT NOW!)
(And if you don’t think you could live on just sandwiches for a week, remember: 2 pieces of pizza piled on top of each other counts!)
FUNNIEST TWEETS OF THE WEEK FROM WOMEN:
⇒ “The soda machine at AMC was completely out of Diet Coke on Barbie opening night women are so powerful” – Emily Faye
⇒ “The hardest part of dating is having to tell your story all over again to a new person like you got accidentally hung up on by Tech Support” – Daley Haggar
⇒ “My dad just ended a conversation by saying, “it’s time for me to go sit in a different room,” and I’ll be stealing that” – Ginny Hogan
⇒ “i cant wait to make my small zit less noticeable by digging a large and horrific wound into my face” — kenzi
⇒ “It Happened To Me: I DM’d a friend and asked why I haven’t seen her online in a while and then I realized it’s because I muted her.” – Akilah Green
⇒ “I sent my best friend flowers as a thank you for planning my bachelorette party and she opened the box and there was a lizard in it. there is now a lizard loose in her house.” – S. Liz
⇒ “My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.” – Jessie
⇒ “haven’t smoked weed in like 3 years and tonight I did and at first I was like oh why don’t I do this anymore it’s nice! and now i’m at the club manually breathing” – Ellie Schnitt
DID YOU KNOW?
The supposed oldest man in history has passed away. Jose Paulino Gomes passed away Friday — one week shy of turning 128 — at his home in Pedra Bonita, Brazil, according to local media. His family said Gomes died of organ failure, likely due to his advanced age. It’s not clear whether Guinness will examine the paperwork to officially establish Gomes as a world record holder, as his family has cited some local cases of incorrect documentation. According to his 1917 marriage certificate, Gomes was born on Aug. 4, 1895, making him a survivor of both World Wars and 3 global pandemics. (And apparently, at least one marriage!)
BS CHRONOMETER 08.02.23
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Ice Cream Sandwich Day”, celebrating the chilly goodness of stuffing ice cream between a couple of wafers. Stone cold brilliant!
• “Dinosaurs Day”, enthusiasts dig up bones and dig through drawings of prehistoric creatures on this historical holiday. Here are a few dinosaur films to unearth on Dinosaurs Day: “Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend”, “Dinosaur”, “The Flintstones”, “Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs”, “Journey to the Center of the Earth”, any “Jurassic Park” movie, “King Kong, The Land Before Time”, “Land of the Lost”, “The Land That Time Forgot” and “We’re Back – A Dinosaur’s Story”.
• “Coloring Book Day”, spend some time coloring with your friends, children or grandchildren — or by yourself…try to stay inside the lines!
• “Take A Penny/Leave A Penny Day”, unless you’re in Canada, Australia, New Zealand Finland, Sweden, Denmark, South Africa or Netherlands!
• “CAD Day”, or National Computer-aided Design Day. CAD is “the use of computer software to help create, change, analyse or optimize designs.” It is utilized in fields like architecture, construction, and product design.
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Grab Some Nuts Day
[Thurs] Airplane Crop Duster Day
[Fri] International Beer Day
[Sat] Oyster Day
This Week Is… Single Working Women’s Week
This Month Is…Cataract Awareness Month
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1937  Garth Hudson, Windsor ON, rock organist-accordion player (The Band-‘Up on Cripple Creek’, ‘The Weight’)
1955  Butch Vig, Viroqua WI, rock producer (Nirvana-“Nevermind”, Smashing Pumpkins, Foo Fighters)/rock drummer (Garbage-‘Only Happy When It Rains’)
1964  Mary-Louise Parker, Fort Jackson SC, movie actress (“RED” films, “Fried Green Tomatoes”)/TV actress (“Weeds” 2005-12, “The West Wing” 2001-06) COMING UP…”Omni Loop”
1970  Kevin Smith, Red Bank NJ, filmmaker/actor (“Clerks”, “Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back”), TV producer (“Comic Book Men” 2012-2017) COMING UP…”Masters of the Universe: Revolution”
1976  Sam Worthington, Surrey England (raised in Perth, Australia), movie actor (“Avatar”, “Clash of the Titans”) COMING UP…”The Georgetown Project”, 2023
1977  Edward Furlong, Glendale, CA, movie actor (“Terminator 2: Judgement Day”, “Pet Sematary Two”) COMING UP…”The Endless Whispers”
1992  Charlie XCX (Charlotte Aitchison), Cambridge England, pop singer (‘Good Ones’, ‘Used To Know Me’)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2018  TikTok, the video-sharing social network, becomes available worldwide after merging with Musical.ly
2022  Legendary baseball announcer Vin Scully dies from ALS at 94
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1998  The Beatles top a poll by UK music magazine “Mojo” on ‘Favorite Recording Artist of All-Time’, beating Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Queen, and Elton John, in that order
2019  With a show in Hannover, Germany on the 246th date of his ÷ (Divide) tour, Ed Sheeran breaks the record for highest-grossing tour, surpassing the $735 million U2 earned on their 2009-2011 tour. Sheeran’s tour ends Aug. 26, having grossed $775.6m. (Since exceeded by Elton John, $939m)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1938  Brooklyn introduces the first yellow baseball used in an official MLB game (Johnny Mize hits a home run with the off-color ball, as the Dodgers beat St. Louis 6-2). The yellow ball made only a few more appearances in major league action, in 1938 and 1939.
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1975  The distance record for ‘Champagne Cork Popping’ of 103 feet (31.4 m) is set by Gary Mahan of La Habra Heights, California
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Statistically, you are most likely to die in January, least likely in August.
✓ Smelling green apples has been found to help with weight loss. The neutral sweet scent can make you temporarily forget about hunger.
✓ The world is running out of sand. We use 50 billion tons of it each year, enough to build a 9-storey wall around the planet.
✓ Blue-eyed people have higher alcohol tolerance.
✓ The first use of “toast” as a metaphorical term for “dead” was in the original “Ghostbusters”.
✓ The first transaction of Bitcoins was to buy pizza for 10,000 Bitcoins, which later increased in value to over US$12 million.
BS DEEP THOUGHTS FROM GAMBLERS:
• Do you think the song ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’ is about Blackjack?
• That free buffet cost me about seven grand.
• The more I play, the better my chance of winning. That’s science!
• Do my kids really need a college education?
• Twenty bucks says I have a gambling problem.
• Is it daytime right now?
• I wonder how much I can get for a kidney?
• I should have known when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em.
• I got here in a $40,000 car, and I’m going home on a million-dollar Greyhound bus. Not bad!
• I see now why they call it ‘Craps’. It describes my luck perfectly.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018
BS FAKE GAME SHOW FACTS:
• You can easily win every time on “Jeopardy” by asking “What do I have no idea about?” for every answer.
• The password on “Password” was always ‘Password1’.
• Saying “No Whammies!” works.
• That Nigerian Prince who keeps emailing you hosts “The $7,000,000 Pyramid Scheme.”
• Vanna White can’t spell.
• MTV’s “Remote Control” was originally called “Where’s That Stupid Clicker?”
• Pillsbury was the official sponsor of “Tic Tac Dough”.
• “Cash Cab” was cancelled because Uber took all of its contestants.
• Nobody wants to be a millionaire.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019
BS WEB GOODIE:
Looks familiar: https://tinyurl.com/3d5ee3kw
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I don’t want to brag about my take-home pay, but, yeah, it almost gets me there.
BS WOULD YOU RATHER?
(***You run down the list while your caller decides which choice is more palatable …***)
• Would you rather be reborn as a tree, or an insect?
• Would you rather go a year with no eyelashes, or go a year with no eyebrows?
• Would you rather be 4′-5″, or 7′-7″?
• Would you rather live without a dishwasher, or a clothes dryer?
• Would you rather do a physically hard job for a day, or a boring job for a week?
• Would you rather jump out of an airplane, or hang glide?
• Would you rather never be able to shower again, or not be able to shave your legs?
• Would you rather go to a new restaurant every weekend for a month, or go to the same restaurant that you know is good every weekend for a month?
• Would you rather have four sons, or four daughters?
• Would you rather have a face that everyone laughs at, or a name that everyone laughs at?
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the cheesiest or most-dated idiom that you’d like to see return to common usage?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: According to a study, this is the #1 thing that people judge you on. What is it?
Answer: Your teeth
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Hardship often prepares an ordinary person for an extraordinary destiny.