August 2 2019

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Friday, August 2, 2019 Edition #6507

Bully For You!

★ Victoria Secret angel Shanina Shaik has revealed that the iconic Victoria Secret Fashion Show has been shelved for this year.  The show, which has run for over 20 years, is working on its branding, but Shaik says she is “sure in the future something will happen…because it’s the best show in the world.” While the news is certainly shocking, many anticipated major changes to the show after Les Wexner, the founder and CEO of L Brands (the parent company of Victoria’s Secret), said that they needed to “rethink the traditional show”, especially after its ratings plunged to historic lows last year.
★ Lisa Marie Presley has reportedly inked a million-dollar deal to write a book which will include “shocking” details about her ex, Michael Jackson. She was married to Jackson from 1994 to 1996, and is said to be planning to lift the lid on her life with the King of Pop in a bombshell book which she has reportedly sold to Gallery Books for between US$3 million and $4 million.
★ Adriana Grande was left speechless after meeting Jim Carrey, whom she regularly talks about as one of her idols. She got the chance to meet him when she filmed a guest appearance on the upcoming second season of “Kidding”. And after taking to Instagram on Wednesday to share a picture of herself with Carrey, she wrote that words “can’t cover” how happy she feels. In the past, Grande has admitted that her first AOL Instant Messenger name was “jimcarreyfan42”. And in June, she got a tattoo of a famous quote inspired by “The Truman Show”. The pair shared an exchange on Twitter in April when Carrey reached out to her after she praised him for his candid comments on depression.
★ Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, has revealed in the September 2019 issue of British Vogue that she is launching a high-street fashion collection for charity. She’s releasing a capsule line of work apparel to benefit one of her royal patronages, the charity “Smart Works”, which provides support for unemployed women.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio, Margot Robbie, Quentin Tarantino, Keith L. Williams, Tal Wilkenfeld (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Tim McGraw, Jon Meacham, Tessa Thompson, Jessie Reyez featuring 6lack (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): John Leguizamo, Rep. Hakeem Jeffries, the Jonas Brothers, Raghav Mehrotra (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Charlize Theron, Seth Rogen (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Bill de Blasio, Chirlane McCray
• “The Talk” (CBS): Linda Perry
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Colin Cowie, Rosie Perez, guest co-host Tamron Hall
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Lupita Nyong’o, Tig Notaro, Jason Sudeikis, Chaka Khan (R)
• “Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” (ABC): Season 3 finale
• “Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team” (CMT): Four hundred dancers converge on AT&T Stadium to start the hardest audition process in the entertainment business: becoming a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader.
• “Isle of Jaws: Blood Brothers” (DISCOVERY): Two great white sharks, believed to be brothers, are at the heart of a mystery; a team ventures to the famed Isle of Jaws off the West Australian coast to find out whether they recognize and prefer to live and hunt with blood relatives.

• “Sharks Gone Wild 2” (DISCOVERY): A presentation of everything that has happened in the world of sharks this year, including the unbelievable viral videos, the biggest news stories and the latest cutting-edge shark science.
• “Love and Sunshine” (HALLMARK): A woman has been fostering a retired military dog as she recovers from a broken engagement. But sparks fly again when the pup’s military partner returns to claim the dog.

• “CMA Fest” (ABC): Performances by some of country music’s hottest artists during the four-day music festival in Nashville; Kelsea Ballerini and Thomas Rhett host, with Bobby Bones serving as a special guest host.
• “90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days” (TLC): Season 3 premiere
• “Preacher” (AMC): Series premiere
• “Alaskan Bush People” (DISCOVERY): Season 10 premiere

• Billie Eilish – She has topped a new list of the U.K.’s biggest-selling cassette releases, with sales of the old-school format at their highest in 15 years. Her “When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?” has sold 4,000 copies so far this year.
• Taylor Swift — will be performing in Central Park and live on “Good Morning America” on Aug. 22. The concert is taking place one day before the release of her seventh studio album, “Lover”, which arrives on Aug. 23.
• Woodstock 50 — is officially a no-go. The troubled festival was just over 2 weeks away from kicking off, but organizers say they just couldn’t recover from setback after setback that ultimately led to Wednesday’s announcement that it has been officially canceled.
• Paul McCartney – says he has to be reminded how to play his old Beatles hits because there are “an awful lot” of them to remember. In an interview, he confessed that he relies on his bandmembers to help jog his memory.
• Mötley Crüe — Nikki Sixx is a dad again at 60. He and his wife Courtney welcomed a daughter named Ruby over the weekend. He shares a teenage daughter with his second wife, actress Donna D’Errico, and three kids with his first wife, all of whom are in their 20s.
• Brian Wilson — is returning to the road. The Beach Boys legend was due to head out on the ‘Pet Sounds’ and ‘Greatest Hits Live’ tours in June, but postponed things because he needed to take some time off to work on his issues. He says he is now feeling ”much better” and will begin the rescheduled shows on August 7 in New York.
• Metallica – A British Columbia woman used one of their songs to scare off a wild cougar. After first yelling at the animal, an idea popped in her head. Quote: “I quickly rifled through my iTunes and found Metallica ‘Don’t Tread On Me’ I thought it was the noisiest thing on my phone…” It worked.
• Cole Swindell – says he risked his life filming the video for his latest single, ‘Love You Too Late’. He had stuntwoman Kachina Dechert speed precariously close to him in a white Mustang while he was singing. He says: “You can tell she’s just a high adrenaline person.”
• Chris Janson — has announced that his new album, “Real Friends”, will be released on October 18. Why the title? He made the album “with actual real friends, I produced the album with real friends, wrote all the songs with real friends…and I also have a huge collaboration on this album with one of my favorite ‘Ole’ friends!”

• “Fast & Furious: Hobbs & Shaw” (PG-13, Action/Adventure):  Lawman Luke Hobbs and outcast Deckard Shaw form an unlikely alliance when a cyber-genetically enhanced villain threatens the future of humanity. (Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, Idris Elba)
• “Luce” (R-Rated, Drama/Suspense):  A married couple is forced to reckon with their idealized image of their son, adopted from war-torn Eritrea, after an alarming discovery by a devoted high school teacher threatens his status as an all-star student. (Naomi Watts, Octavia Spencer, Tim Roth)
• “The Nightingale” (R-Rated, Drama):  In 1825, a young Irish convict woman chases a British officer through the rugged Tasmanian wilderness, bent on revenge for a terrible act of violence he committed against her family. (Damon Herriman, Sam Claflin)
• “Them That Follow” (R-Rated, Drama/Mystery):  Deep in the wilds of Appalachia, where believers handle death-dealing snakes to prove themselves before God, A pastor’s daughter holds a secret that threatens to tear the community apart. (Kaitlyn Dever, Walton Goggins)

According to those who frequent such places, more and more drinking establishments are apparently offering a wide variety of “mocktails” these days. Some places offer up to six fancy drinks that look like a traditional cocktail, but there isn’t a drop of alcohol in the glass. The whole idea of serving “placebo cocktails” as some places call them, is to allow teetotaling patrons to avoid the stigma of being pointed out as “the one who isn’t drinking.” In the face of an imbibing culture, there is a small trend among young adults today toward going sober, or at least cutting back on the booze. Why? Some of today’s young adults simply can’t afford to drink. Others have been impacted by social media campaigns like “Dry July” and “Sober October”, which extol the virtues of abstinence.
(Plus, there’s that whole hangover thing…)
(When I was that age, I never used the words “not drinking” in a sentence that didn’t also include the words “court ordered”!)
(I quit drinking for good. Now I drink for evil!)

➢ A man in Siberia has won hundreds of thousands of rubles in court after magicians failed to make his estranged wife return. The man, identified only as “M.E.A.”, was devastated when his wife left him in 2017. But a TV ad promised to “return your wife or loved woman”. The despondent husband called the advertised number and was told that his wife could be made to return using “magic knowledge”. A contract was drawn up, and the man paid the company the equivalent of $4,000 for their services. His wife, however, never came back, and M.E.A. sued. The court awarded him $6,300 in compensation because of services not rendered. (THAT should get her back!)
➢ A driver who parked on a stranger’s lawn and plugged his Tesla into an electrical outlet overnight without permission is being let off the hook by the friendly homeowner. The Florida man was awakened by his lawn care guy, who asked him to move his car off the grass so he could mow. Soon a young man and woman showed up and explained that they’d run out of juice while visiting a friend and taken it upon themselves to leave the car on the lawn and plug in. The homeowner didn’t press charges or even ask the couple to pay for the power they’d stolen. (Free charging at that guy’s house! Pass it on…)
➢ An Indianapolis police officer was looking for cold clues after he put his McChicken in the fridge, and forgot that he’d taken a bite. When he returned seven hours later, he noticed the bite out of his sandwich and decided to complain to McDonalds. The store offered him free food, but the police officer suspected an employee was targeting him because he was a cop, and he wanted justice for his McChicken. Both McDonald’s and the sheriff’s office launched full investigations, but it was later determined that the culprit was not an employee at all. The officer had simply forgotten that he had already taken a bite out of the McChicken. He has formally apologized. (Is this what they mean by taking a bite out of crime?)
-BBC, Driving, Canoe


1964 [55] Mary-Louise Parker, Fort Jackson SC, movie actress (“RED” films, “Fried Green Tomatoes”)/TV actress (“Weeds” 2005-12, “The West Wing” 2001-06)

1970 [49] Kevin Smith, Red Bank NJ, filmmaker/actor (“Clerks”, “Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back”), TV producer (“Comic Book Men” 2012-2017)

1976 [43] Sam Worthington, Godalming UK [raised Perth, Australia], movie actor (“Avatar”, “Clash Of the Titans”) COMING UP…“Avatar 2″, 2021

1977 [42] Edward Furlong, Glendale, CA, movie actor (“Terminator 2: Judgement Day”, “Pet Sematary Two”)

SATURDAY- Tony Bennett (‘I Left My Heart in San Francisco’) is 93; Martin Sheen (“Apocalypse Now”) is 79; Martha Stewart (“Martha Stewart Living”) is 78; James Hetfield (Metallica) is 56; Tom Brady (New England Patriots QB) is 42; Evangeline Lilly (“Lost”) is 40

SUNDAY- Billy Bob Thornton (“Sling Blade”) is 64; Former US President Barack Obama is 58; Daniel Day Kim (“Hawaii 5-0”) is 51; Race car driver Jeff Gordon is 48

• “Ice Cream Sandwich Day”, celebrating the chilly goodness of stuffing ice cream between a couple of wafers. Stone cold brilliant!

• “Dinosaurs Day”, enthusiasts dig up bones and dig through drawings of prehistoric creatures on this historical holiday. Here are a few dinosaur films to unearth on Dinosaurs Day: “Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend”, “Dinosaur”, “The Flintstones”, “Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs”, “Journey to the Center of the Earth”, “Jurassic Park”, “King Kong, The Land Before Time”, “Land of the Lost”, “The Land That Time Forgot” and “We’re Back – A Dinosaur’s Story”.

• “Coloring Book Day”, spend some time coloring with your friends, children or grandchildren or by yourself…try to stay inside the lines!

• “Take A Penny/Leave A Penny Day”, unless you’re in Canada, Australia, New Zealand or Netherlands!

• “Canada’s National Ukrainian Festival”, the annual in Dauphin, Manitoba through Sunday, as thousands gather for traditional singing, dancing, egg-decorating … and perogies!

• “International Beer Day”, celebrating suds from around-the-world. According to the latest ranking by tens-of-thousands of tasters at, these are currently the world’s best-rated beers …
5.  Brasserie de Rochefort Trappistes Rochefort 10 (Belgium)
4. Russian River Pliny the Younger (USA)
3. The Alchemist Heady Topper (USA)
2. Westvleteren 12 (XII) (Belgium)
1. Toppling Goliath Kentucky Brunch (USA)

• “Grab Some Nuts Day”, because sometimes you feel like a nut!
• “Watermelon Day”, celebrating the Summer treat that’s part of the pumpkin, squash, and gourd family. Watermelons originated in Africa, then spread to Egypt, India, China, and eventually around-the-world (and eventually also dripped down your arm…).
• “Airplane Crop Duster Day”, to all those that play an integral part in the safe, abundant production of food and fiber throughout the world. Fly safe!
• “Jamaican Patty Day”, filled with a variety of fillings, Jamaican patties satisfy hunger with seasoned ground beef, chicken, seafood or vegetables. The crust is ideally flaky in texture and shaped into a half-moon. While the fillings are usually spicy, milder stuffings are offered to the more faint of heart.

• “Chocolate Chip Cookie Day”, a day to try them in all sorts of ways — warm and gooey right out of the oven, fresh and chewy from the grocery store, the raw globs of dough mixed up into vanilla ice cream, and even mini cookies and milk in our cereal bowls for breakfast.
• “Coast Guard Day” in America. The ‘Revenue Cutter Service’, formed on this date in 1790, merged with the ‘Life Saving Service’ in 1915 to become the US Coast Guard.
• “Single Working Women’s Day”, much more than a vision of 1990s “Sex and the City” era feminism. It’s a way to honor all those single women who work hard for their money and often face very different obstacles than men in the workplace.

1993 [26] the single ‘I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)’ by The Proclaimers is certified Gold

1998 [21] The Beatles top a poll by UK music magazine “Mojo” on ‘Favorite Recording Artist of All-Time’, beating out Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Queen, and Elton John, in that order

1938 [81] Brooklyn introduces the 1st (and last) yellow baseball used in an official MLB game (Johnny Mize becomes only player to hit a home run with the off-color ball as the Dodgers beat St. Louis 6-2)

2017 [02] At age 96, Great Britain’s Prince Philip makes his final solo public appearance before retiring from public engagements

1975 [44] Distance record for ‘Champagne Cork Popping’ of 103 feet (31.4 m) is set by Gary Mahan of La Habra Heights, California


✓ Statistically, you are most likely to die in January, least likely in August.
✓ The number of text messages sent and received in a given day is greater than the world’s population.
✓ The world is running out of sand. We use 40 billion tons of it each year.
✓ The most searched tutorial on YouTube is “How to Kiss.”
✓ The first use of “toast” as a metaphorical term for “dead” was in the original “Ghostbusters”.
✓ The first transaction of Bitcoins was to buy pizza for 10,000 Bitcoins, which later increased in value to over US$12 million.

• You can easily win every time on “Jeopardy” by asking “What do I have no idea about?” for every answer.
• The password on “Password” was always ‘Password1’.
• Saying “No Whammies!” works.
• That Nigerian Prince who keeps emailing you hosts “The $7,000,000 Pyramid Scheme.”
• Vanna White can’t spell.
• MTV’s “Remote Control” was originally called “Where’s That Stupid Clicker?”
• If you see Regis Philbin on the street and shout, “Is that your final answer?” he will be shocked at your originality and thoughtfulness.
• Pillsbury was the official sponsor of “Tic Tac Dough”.
• “Cash Cab” was cancelled because Uber took all of its contestants.
• Nobody wants to be a millionaire.

Best of BS . . .

✗ Speak exclusively in falsetto.
✗ Accentuate those ‘cankles’.
✗ Paint a portrait of your date in the style of “South Park”.
✗ Swap tax information early and often.
✗ Keep your friends in the loop: live tweet every 2 minutes.
✗ Browse together in order to rule out the possibility of incest.
✗ Invite strangers and bystanders to join your date to ease the tension.
✗ Whatever happens, whistle casually.
✗ Yawn often to show off those handsome pearly whites.
✗ Take turns deleting one app at a time from each other’s phone until you have nothing left but one another.
(Wait a sec … that’s a good one!)
– Thanks to Ashley Rattner, first published in ‘BS’ in 2016

What is your favorite dessert? In complete detail, please.

I don’t want to brag about my take-home pay, but, yeah, it almost gets me there.

Question:  1-in-10 of us would rather lose THIS than our cellphone.
Answer:  Vacation days

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.


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