August 5 2019

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Monday, August 5, 2019 – Edition: #6508

Tomorrow’s Show Prep Today!

The Bull Sheet will be off for a summer vacation and will not be publishing Monday August 12 through Monday August 19.  All subscribers will receive credit for missed service days. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday August 20.

★ Dog the Bounty Hunter is closing in on the perps who ransacked his family merchandise store in Edgewater, Colorado on July 30th, and his daughter Bonnie has released the first images of a possible suspect. Thousands of dollars in merchandise was looted, including expensive clothing branded with Dog and his late wife, Beth Chapman’s various TV shows and projects. Personal bounty hunting gear, belonging to Beth, was also stolen. The family had set up a memorial for her, which fans had been visiting to pay their respects, and reportedly, the burglars specifically targeted the keepsakes.
★ Kevin Spacey stunned museum-goers in Rome on Friday with a bizarre reading of Italian poet Gabriele Tinti’s poem, “The Boxer.” It’s unclear what Spacey was hoping to accomplish with the stunt. Spacey’s career flamed out in 2017 after he was accused by more than a dozen people of sexual assault. The Oscar-winner appeared by the “Boxer at Rest” statue at the National Roman Museum to recite a poem about a broken-down pugilist that Tinti said was inspired by Spacey’s career downturn.
★ Chris Pine has been cast as TV news legend Walter Cronkite in a new film about U.S. President John F. Kennedy’s assassination. He’ll join Mark Ruffalo for “Newsflash”, which chronicles how Cronkite broke the news of Kennedy’s murder to the nation in 1963. Pine takes over the role which Seth Rogen was briefly attached to play.
★ Bam Margera threw a fit on a Southwest airlines flight in Atlanta on Saturday and was booted from the plane after allegedly berating an employee. The former MTV personality, “Jackass” cast member and pro skateboarder was presumed to be under the influence when the incident occurred. He was told he was too drunk and/or obstinate to fly. He reportedly told an airport police officer he had 50 shots of tequila and then called him an idiot for believing it. He was adamant that he actually only had one drink.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Elisabeth Moss, Sebastian Maniscalco, Ava Max
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Julianne Moore, Jacob Tremblay, Julio Torres
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Brian Cox, Hannah Gadsby
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Milo Ventimiglia, Geena Davis, Ex Hex, Julian Dorio
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Domhnall Gleeson, Aldis Hodge, Machine Gun Kelly with Yungblud
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Moshe Kasher, Natasha Leggero, Chelsea Peretti
• “Conan” (TBS): Don Cheadle (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Jennie Garth, Tori Spelling
• “The Talk” (CBS): Thomas Lennon, Brigitte Nielsen, Carnie Wilson
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Shannen Doherty, Jacob Tremblay, Marissa Mullen, guest co-host Jenna Dewan
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kris Jenner (R)
• “Bachelor in Paradise” (ABC): Season 6 premiere. Nine men and 11 women arrive in paradise;
Blake gets the first date card; Caelynn must choose between men.
• “Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood” (VH1): Season 6 premiere. Fizz and J Boog are on the road as B2K’s “The Millennium Tour” sets off; Ray J and Princess Love introduce their daughter to the world.

• Ed Sheeran — It’s official: his “Divide” tour is the highest grossing tour of all-time. As of Friday, the tour had grossed $736.7 million, surpassing the previous record of $735.4 million record set by U2 in 2011. It’s worth noting that U2 only spent 760 days on the road; by the time Sheeran finishes his current tour, he will have been on tour for 893 days.
• Taylor Swift — held the first secret listening session for her new album “Lover” in London on Friday. A handful of Swifties got an exclusive listen to the album, which is set to drop on Aug. 23. One tweeted: “That was the best day of my life,” alongside a photo of a group of people with “Lover” merchandise and gift bags.
• Drake – On Friday, he released “Care Package”, a new compilation album that pulls together B-sides and other singles from his career that were previously never given official release. It features guest appearances from rappers J. Cole, Rick Ross, and James Fauntleroy.
• George Michael – His former Santa Barbara estate has hit the market with a $6 million price tag. Michael called it home for seven years, purchasing it in the late 80s for $2 million. During his stay there, he worked on albums such as “Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1”, and “Older”.
• The Beatles — 1969’s “Abbey Road” will be next in the Beatles’ expanded box-set reissue series. The Beatles have already remastered and expanded 1967’s Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band and 1968’s self-titled “White Album,” adding acoustic versions and alternate takes.
• Neil Young – has postponed the rest of his 2019 tour plans to focus on completing a whopping 15 unfinished film projects. He’d been set to tour with his Crazy Horse band for the rest of this year to promote their upcoming album “Colarado”, but in a blog post Young said the tour would now be put on hold because he “will be in an editing suite for rest of the year.”
• Miranda Lambert – On Friday, Tanya Tucker released a cover of her hit ‘The House That Built Me’. That is one of several covers that will be included on Tucker’s upcoming album, “While I’m Livin’”, which will be released on Aug. 23.
• Keith Urban — has released an acoustic version of his latest single, ‘We Were’. A performance of “We Were” also aired as part of “CMA Fest: The Music Event of Summer” last night on ABC.

Sony says that we could soon all be a lot cooler — thanks to a thin, portable air-conditioning device that can be slipped into the pocket of a specially-designed shirt. The “Reon Pocket” weighs just 80 grams and is inserted into a pocket near the base of the back of the neck. Temperature is adjusted through a smartphone app, and Sony claims that the device can cool the user by 13 degrees Celsius (55F), or heat them up by 8 degrees Celsius (46F). Prices are expected to start at about US$154. But if you’re looking for relief form this summer’s heat, you’re out of luck. Sony doesn’t plan to start shipping the Reon Pocket until March 2020 and – at least for now — it appears to only be available in Japan.
(Imagine – never sweating through a work shirt again.  Challenge accepted!)
(I like to keep cool. But this? Not a fan.)

Everyone knows what acceptable elevator behavior looks like: You give yourself as much space from other people as possible, and stare silently at your cell phone or the number above the door until you get to your floor. But apparently that’s not how it should be. Manufacturer ThyssenKrupp Elevator has issued a challenge to everyone: Start talking. They say that 7 billion elevator trips are made each day and two-thirds of us ride in complete silence. But according to numerous research projects, even small and seemingly superficial friendly encounters with strangers can have significant emotional and physical health benefits for those involved.  According to ThyssenKrupp, “An elevator ride can create shared experiences that go some way to eliminating…loneliness that people may feel.” But another elevator company doesn’t agree. Mowery Elevator offers a guide to personal space on elevators and says that “striking up awkward conversations with strangers or carrying on conversations with your friends in a loud manner is not ok…When the doors shut, so should your mouths.”
(The only time I’ve ever seen people talk on an elevator is when it’s full of drunk people leaving a wedding!)
(I was going to make a joke about talking on an empty elevator, but I haven’t come up with anything!)
(Silence on an elevator is still way better than “Silent but deadly” on an elevator!)

☞ Diamonds:  Baby boomers sold each other on the idea that “exclusive” and expensive diamonds were the only way to go. (Or at least the female half did…)
☞ Crocs:  Why do they insist on still wearing them? Sure, they’re comfortable, but so are a lot of things that you wouldn’t be caught dead wearing outside your home. (Most of which have just as many holes…)
☞ Potpourri:  Who wants a bowl full of dead flower petals in your living room that once you stop smelling you’ll forget about and leave there to collect dust for the next seven months? (Baby boomers, apparently…)
☞ Binge-Watching 24-Hour News Networks:  We’re pretty sure that baby boomers are the only ones that watch these channels…unless there’s a crisis. (Or someone famous gets arrested…)
☞ Golf:  To a millennial, the only thing more boring than playing 18 holes of golf would be to watch someone play 18 holes of golf…on TV.
☞ Knicknacks:  Baby boomers often have a treasure-trove of knickknacks lying around their house collecting dust. Unless they’re rare collector’s items, they’re just taking up space. (“But Larry and Irma got this keychain for us on their trip to Disney in ’79…. I can’t get rid of THIS…”)
☞ Ironing:  People don’t care as much anymore if clothes appear a bit wrinkly. Except for baby boomers. “Look how wrinkly that is!” said no millennial ever. (In fact, they’ve made entire fashion movements out of wrinkles!)
☞ Emails:  Outside of work or business, forget it. Nowadays, most people text or message people if they want to catch up. When’s the last time you sent an email to a family member just to say “hi”? If you answered “last week,” then congratulations–you’re a baby boomer!
☞ Keep paperwork:  They still shove all of their bills, finances, and medical forms into one overflowing box. You can access pretty much all of your records online now, so why keep doing this? (Because…I…can…still…fit…one…more…envelope…in…here…)
☞ Patterned Wallpaper:  Most people take one look at patterned wallpaper and think one thing: “This is old.” (They probably think the same thing when they see my patterned couch…)
☞ Throw Pillows:  Pillows! Pillows everywhere! On chairs, on the couch, on the bed, in the car for some reason. Why? (And most have dried up drool on them from those impromptu “couch naps”…)
(Full disclosure:  I removed everything from this list that pertains to me!)

At Milwaukee’s Mitchell Airport, the area after security where you gather your things is officially designated the “Recombobulation Area”.


1952 [67] Louis Walsh, Kiltimagh Ireland, reality star (“Britain’s Got More Talent” 2010-18; “The X Factor” 2004-17)

1956 [63] Maureen McCormick, Los Angeles CA, TV actress (‘Marcia Brady’ on ‘The Brady Bunch” 1969-74)

1959 [60] Pat Smear (Georg Ruthenberg), LA CA, rock guitarist (Foo Fighters-‘Learn to Fly’, touring guitarist for Nirvana-‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’)

1963 [56] Mark Strong (Marco Salussolia), London UK, movie actor (“The Imitation Game”, “Kingsman: The Secret Service”)

1966 [53] James Gunn, St. Louis MO, director (“Guardians of the Galaxy” franchise)

1968 [51] Terri Clark (Sauson), Montréal QC, country singer (‘Better Things to Do’, ‘Girls Lie Too’)

1978 [41] Whit Sellers, Roanoke VA, country drummer (Old Dominion-‘One Man Band’, ‘Break Up with Him’)

1980 [39] Jesse Williams, Chicago IL, TV actor (‘Dr Jackson Avery’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2009)

• “Civic Holiday” in parts of Canada (Ontario, NWT, & Nunavut). It’s observed as “New Brunswick Day” in NB; “Saskatchewan Day” in SK; “British Columbia Day” in BC, “Terry Fox Day” in Manitoba, “Heritage Day” in Alberta, “Simcoe Day” in Toronto ON; “Colonel By Day” in Ottawa ON; and the semi-holiday “Natal Day” in Nova Scotia. For everybody else, it’s just … Monday.

• “Assistance Dog Day”, created to recognize all of the devoted, hardworking assistance dogs helping individuals mitigate their disability-related limitations.

• “Oyster Day”, celebrating the shell-shucked crustacean enjoyed by many as a delicacy. (What brave soul could have first decided to eat one of these icky-looking things?)

• “Underwear Day”, the annual organized by online retailer, which normally attracts hundreds of underwearers to NYC’s Times Square. (***It’s a good day to take a vote: Boxers, Briefs, Boxer-Briefs, or Commando?***)

• “Work Like a Dog Day”, an opportunity to recognize those individuals who work especially hard (if you can get them to stop long enough to be recognized!)

[Tues] Farmworker Appreciation Day
[Tues] Root Beer Float Day
[Wed] Beach Party Day
[Wed] Lighthouse Day
This Week Is…International Clown Week
This Month Is…Family Fun Month

1962 [57] Marilyn Monroe (Norma Jean Mortenson) is found dead of an apparent self-inflicted drug overdose at 36 in Brentwood, Los Angeles, California.

2013 [06] Privately held newspaper “The Washington Post” is purchased by founder & CEO Jeff Bezos

1985 [34] Establishment of a Rock & Roll Hall of Fame is announced

2017 [02] Sam Hunt’s ‘Body Like a Back Road’ lands at #1 on the Country chart for the 25th week, breaking the record previously held by Florida Georgia Line’s ‘Cruise’

2013 [06] In London, the world’s 1st bovine stem-cell lab-grown burger is cooked and eaten at a news conference (one food critic says it’s “close to meat, but not that juicy”)

2008 [11] Elvis Presley’s white jumpsuit with a plunging V-neck and high collar featuring a blue-and-gold peacock design sells at auction for $300,000, making it the most expensive piece of Elvis memorabilia ever (Since then, his 18-karat white gold and diamond Omega wristwatch was sold for $1.8 million)


✓ Each of the main characters in “Spongebob Squarepants” was inspired by one of the seven deadly sins.
✓ According to a study, kids fight with their brothers and sisters an average of five times per day.
✓ Very tall buildings naturally lean toward the sun.
✓ Birds do not sweat.
✓ The stickers on fruit are edible.
✓ The first words of the third man on the moon were, “Whoopee! Man, that may have been a small one for Neil, but that’s a long one for me.”
-WhattheFFacts, TotallyAwesomeUselessInformation


• “Where do I get a lollipop?”
• “Can I mosh in this pit?”
• “Do you smell that?  Is someone smoking marijuana?”
• “Where’s the country music tent?”
• “Anybody seen my other flip flop?”
• “When do we do the Macarena?”
• “Is the blue Jell-O in the Porta Potties complimentary?”
• “May I please pay more than $15 for a bottle of water?”
• “Wait… ‘Lol Lapalooza’ ISN’T a comedy convention??”
• “Which corporate sponsor is the most counterculture?”
• “Why is this still a thing?”
• “What is a Lollapalooza?”

Best of BS . . .

• The solid rain for the past two days has stopped, leaving a beautiful, sunny day.
• You are half way to work before you realize you have been listening to “Rev. Carl’s Bible Hour” on your car radio.
• You’ve already planned several thousand ways to avoid actually doing work until Friday.
• The President looks hungover as he issues his weekly denial to the nation.
• Another knee-slapping cartoon of that darn Garfield saying “I hate Monday!”
• In your current opinion, five days is a long time.
• You’re happy to go to work in order to get some rest.
• You break down into a sobbing mess on the floor because there was no coffee left in the pot when you got to work.
• Yesterday was Tuesday and tomorrow is Sunday… or something like that.
-RantNRoll, first published in ‘BS’ in 2017

What is the biggest physical challenge that you have ever faced?

Of all the utensils invented to eat rice, how did two sticks win?

Question:  20% of mothers have done THIS without their daughter knowing. What is it?
Answer:  Try on her clothes

Promises are like babies: easy to make, hard to deliver


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