August 8 2019

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Thursday, August 8, 2019 – Edition: #6511

When You Can’t Dazzle Them with Brilliance, Baffle Them with Bull!

The Bull Sheet will be off for a summer vacation and will not be publishing Monday August 12 through Monday August 19.  All subscribers will receive credit for missed service days. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday August 20.

★ Ryan Seacrest is reportedly set to return as host for American Idol’s third season on ABC. He was left out of Disney’s press release announcing the new season, but is said to be negotiating a “massive” new deal that encompasses “American Idol” and “Live with Kelly and Ryan” as well as a production deal for several new TV shows. It’s believed that Disney will officially announce his return sometime soon.
★ “James Bond 25” is shaping up to be an impressive film with the likes of Daniel Craig, Lashana Lynch, Rami Malek and more among the castmembers. But now it might be getting a royal touch. Reportedly, when Prince Charles visited the London set in June, he was offered a cameo. An insider says, “When he visited the film set a few weeks ago it was discussed. Now he is considering it. It is no secret that the film has suffered a number of setbacks but landing a Royal could be just what the movie needs.”  (Too bad the title “Casino Royale” has already been used!)
★ If you’re going to approach “The Office” star Rainn Wilson for a photo, it helps if you know his name. He shared a recent experience on Twitter where he says a fan approached him looking for a photo. The kid claimed to be the “biggest fan” of “The Office,” so Wilson decided to test his knowledge. After the fan failed to answer what his real name was, Rainn walked off saying “Then you’re not the biggest Office fan.” Others did not find the story quite as humorous, with one fan commenting, “Snubbing a kid who was a big fan, then bragging about it on Twitter. Very endearing.” (Sounds like a very ‘Dwight’ thing to do!)
★ Dakota Johnson drew a lot of attention at the recent premiere of her film “The Peanut Butter Falcon”, and it was for one very specific reason: it appears she’s closed her tooth gap. She’s previously poked fun at it, including recently in a video titled, “How Much Stuff Can Dakota Johnson Fit in Her Gap Teeth?”, where she proceeded to insert toothpicks, a credit card, a paper clip and a cherry stem into the space between her front teeth. Now that she appears to have had dental work done, her fans are reacting, with many of them mourning her signature gap. One went so far as to say, “This is the saddest I’ve ever been.”
★ Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal — a Disney remake of “Home Alone” is on its way. The original Home Alone, which was released in 1990, starred Macaulay Culkin as 8-year-old Kevin McCallister, who finds himself left behind when his family accidentally leave for a trip to Paris without him. Disney hasn’t provided any more details about film, when it will be remade, or who will be cast. There are also “reimaginations” planned for “Night At the Museum,” “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” and “Cheaper By the Dozen.”

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Leslie Jones, Monsta X featuring French Montana
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Lil Rel Howery, Lester Holt, Natalie Merchant
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Niecy Nash
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Billy Crudup, Robin Thede, Julian Dorio
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Josh Gad
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Eva Longoria, Julianne Moore
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Ellie Kemper (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Howie Mandel, Arielle Vandenberg, Kevin Frazier (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Leslie Jones, Whitney Cummings, Laurie Shannon, guest co-host Vanessa Hudgens
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Shailene Woodley, Melissa McCarthy, Tiffany Haddish, Elisabeth Moss (R)
• “Two Sentence Horror Stories” (CW):  Series premiere. A serial killer with an obsession for single moms stalks a young mother who rejected him.
• “Chasing the Cure” (TBS): Ann Curry hosts a weekly, live 90-minute broadcast that focuses on patients with rare, undiagnosed, or misdiagnosed illnesses.
• “Hollywood Game Night” (NBC): Lamorne Morris, Sara Foster and Lil Rel team up to challenge Mike Colter, Erin Foster and Thomas Middleditch with party games, including Song Sung Wrong and more.

• Lana Del Rey — has written a new song, ‘Looking for America’, in response to the recent shootings in El Paso and Dayton. She posted a snippet to her Instagram page, where she performs the track live in the studio with producer Jack Antonoff.
• Ed Sheeran – finally has permission to build a party space on his mansion’s grounds. He recently got the go-ahead to build a bar, two barbecues and a pizza oven next to his pub named ‘The Lancaster Lock’. Local council gave approval because the project would not affect ”the amenity of neighboring properties”.
• The Rolling Stones – played their 1985 hit ‘Harlem Shuffle’ on stage for the first time since 1990 in New Jersey on Monday night. Mick Jagger introduced it by calling the song “sort of locally, vaguely, based…We haven’t done it for ages. Be forgiving if you can.”
• AC/DC — continued their 40th anniversary celebration of the “Highway to Hell” album by sharing the original cover art, which was rejected by their label. The banned image featured the same iconic photo of the band, but they were engulfed in flames up to their necks. This original cover was released in Australia but the band says that their U.S. label rejected it.
• Stevie Ray Vaughan — An excerpt from the upcoming biography “Texas Flood: The Inside Story of Stevie Ray Vaughan” tells of his reaction when he saw David Bowie miming to his guitar work in the video for ‘Let’s Dance’. Vaughan’s playing was to serve as his introduction to the music world, but when the video came out with Bowie playing along to it, Vaughan said that he “shouldn’t be pretending to be playing (stuff) he wasn’t playing!”
• Tracy Lawrence – will release “Made in America”, his first studio album of new music in six years, on Aug. 16th. He says that he delved into new territory this time: “The title track is really the first Americana song that I’ve ever done. I really wanted to write something that was very positive, very American, very proud to be where you come from.”
• Scotty McCreery — is heading to Europe. He has four dates scheduled there in October. As part of Country Music Week in Germany, McCreery will perform in Berlin on Oct. 23 before heading over to Cologne on Oct. 24. Next, he has dates in London on Oct. 26 and Manchester on Oct. 27.

Here’s the latest trend among social media users…and you don’t even have to be on social media to take part. People have taken to texting complete strangers…or as they are calling it, their “number neighbor” or “textdoor neighbor”. That’s right, they’re messaging phone numbers that are identical to theirs except for the last digit—which is one greater or one less. The whole idea is to find a new digital friend…or modern-day pen-pal. And here’s where the social media part comes in. Of course, after making the connection, many to mixed results, some are choosing to post snapshots of their conversation with their new text-friend to social media, using the hashtag: #NumberNeighbor. One high school student posted her exchange with her number neighbor which turned into a pitch to sell her a new Honda. It should be mentioned here that there is a risk involved in giving any personal information out online, especially to strangers, so experts recommend that you do not try to get to know your number neighbor.
(I’d probably wind up texting with the last fax machine in town anyway…)
(Who says that overuse of technology can lead to loneliness?)
(When you do it, don’t start with: “OK, what should I do with the body.”!!)

How often should you wash your….pillows? People often overlook cleaning their pillows, but not only do they collect dust, they also are a bacteria breeding ground, according to one expert. Tom Harari, CEO and Co/Founder of Cleanly, an on-demand laundry and dry-cleaning service, says that you should wash your pillows two to three times a year, but the frequency depends on the person. He says washing pillows every three to six months is good, as long as you are washing your sheets and pillow cases more often than that. To wash a feather pillow, here are a few tips:
➠ Check the label to make sure it can go in the washing machine.
➠ Check the seams and mend any weak ones. (Can you imagine the mess if one of those goes??)
➠ Select the gentle or delicate wash and spin cycle.
➠ When drying, add dryer balls or tennis balls to break any clumps in the feather or down filling to keep them fluffy.
(What does he mean, “The frequency depends on the person”? It’s like he’s calling me a sleep-drooler!)
(Am I the only one who never, ever gave a thought to washing my pillow, or do you just want to call me disgusting?)
(I’m more inclined to buy a new pillow every six months than to try to jam that thing into my washing machine…)

(And were mostly invented through internet slang…)
➢ Brain freeze:  We all know the sharp pain in your head when you drink a cold beverage too fast or eat an ice cream too quickly, but it wasn’t until 1991 that we had a word to describe it. Before then, we only had the technical term: sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia. (Uh, “ice cream headache”, anyone?)
➢ Infinity pool:  Because they extend over a body of water, infinity pools create the illusion of water that goes on forever. But the word hasn’t been around forever. It was first coined in 1991. (So how come I never heard of it until, like, last year?)
➢ Man cave:  Before 1992, men who liked to enjoy their own space in a basement or garage simply called it what it was, a basement or a garage. (Or a hiding spot!)
➢ Face-palm: The action of covering your face with your hand as an expression of exasperation or dismay only made it into the lexicon in 1996. (Before that, you had to utter the word “ugh,” and leave it at that.)
➢ Buzzkill:  There have always been people who have a knack for bringing others down with their grouchy or super-serious ways. We used to call them a stick-in-the-mud, a killjoy, or a party-pooper. But in the early ’90s, we also began to call these downers a buzzkill. (Or a parent…)

Where is the best place to apply perfume or cologne? Oxford University perfume expert Ruth Mastenbroek recommends applying fragrance to the belly button, because it’s one of the warmest parts of the body – so scent will be magnified – and it’ll last longer, compared to the neck & arms.


1937 [82] Dustin Hoffman, LA CA, movie actor (2 Oscars-“Rain Man”, “Kramer vs Kramer”) COMING UP…”Into The Labyrinth”, 2019

1961 [58] The Edge (David Evans), Barking UK, rock guitarist (U2-‘I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For’, ‘With or Without You’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2005)

1973 [46] Mark Wills (Williams), Cleveland TN, country singer (‘19 Somethin’ ’, ‘Wish You Were Here’)

1973 [46] Scott Stapp, Goldsboro NC, rock singer (Creed-‘My Sacrifice’, ‘With Arms Wide Open’)

1976 [43] Drew Lachey, Cincinnati OH, pop singer (98 Degrees-‘I Do (Cherish You)’, ‘Because of You’)/“Dancing With the Stars” Season 2 winner/brother of Nick Lachey

1976 [43] JC Chasez, Bowie MD, former pop singer (*NSYNC-‘It’s Gonna Be Me’, ‘Bye Bye Bye’)

1981 [38] Roger Federer, Basel, Switzerland, current #3-ranked men’s pro tennis player/all-time leader in earnings ($126 million)

1988 [31] Princess Beatrice, London England, Princess (daughter of Sarah, Duchess of York and Prince Andrew, who is known to occasionally take on Royal duties such as attending charity events)

1998 [21] Shawn Mendes, Toronto ON, pop singer (w/Camila Cabello -‘Señorita’, ‘If I Can’t Have You’)

• “The Date to Create”, a day to brainstorm with family members and/or co-workers on ways to be more creative. (What creative genius came up with THIS??)

• “Happiness Happens Day”, since 1999, an annual day to pay someone’s toll, bus or subway fare, or to donate to a charity. It’s all a conspiracy of the ‘Secret Society of Happy People’.

• “International Cat Day”, in recognition and veneration of one of humanity’s oldest and most beloved pets. The observance was initiated in 2002 by the International Fund for Animal Welfare to celebrate the most popular pet on the planet.

• “Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night”, a day to share the wealth of your vegetable garden with friends and neighbors. Uh, could you make it tomatoes instead?

• “Frozen Custard Day”, similar to ice cream, made with eggs in addition to cream and sugar. It typically contains 10% butterfat and 1.4% egg yolk. One claim traces its invention to Coney Island in 1919. In some areas on the East Coast, “frozen custard” or “custard” has become used as a synonym for soft serve by people born since the early 1950’s.

• “Odie Day”, if you’re scratching your head and wondering “What the heck’s an Odie?” well, you’re obviously not a Garfield fan. Why is August 8 Odie Day? Because it’s his birthday. His first appearance in the Garfield comic strip was August 8, 1978.

[Fri] Book Lovers Day
[Fri] National Kool-Aid Day
[Sat] National Bowling Day
[Sat] National S’mores Day

2008 [11] Circa 1 billion TV viewers worldwide watch the opening ceremonies of the “Beijing Summer Olympic Games”, highlighted by a massive (partially faked) fireworks display

2018 [01] Academy of Motion Pictures reveals the new “Popular Film” category for the Oscars

1963 [56] The Kingsmen release ‘Louie, Louie’. The song was the subject of an FBI investigation about the supposed but nonexistent obscenity of the lyrics, leading many radio stations to ban it.

2002 [17] UK’s Co-op Funeral Services reports that pop songs are now more popular than hymns at funerals (#1 is ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’ by Bette Midler)

2017 [02] Singer Glen Campbell dies at 81 after a battle with Alzheimer’s disease.

2010 [09] Sarah, Duchess of York (Prince Andrew’s ex, Sarah Ferguson, aka Fergie) becomes the 1st Brit royal in history to suffer near-bankruptcy (even those Weight Watchers commercials didn’t help?)

1988 [31] The temperature hits a high of 88 F on 8/8/88 in NYC

2001 [18] 78-year-old Egyptian Mustafa Semeda claims he has been married 203 times, the first union happening in 1947


✓ Ben & Jerry learned how to make ice cream by taking a $5 correspondence course offered by Penn State.
✓ Failed PEZ flavors include coffee, eucalyptus, menthol, and flower.
✓ When the computer mouse was invented, it was called the “X-Y Position Indicator for a Display System.”
✓ The only number whose letters are in alphabetical order is 40 (f-o-r-t-y).
✓ Alaska is the only state that can be typed on one row of keys.
✓ When the mummy of Ramses II was sent to France in the mid-1970s, it was issued a passport. Ramses’ occupation? “King (deceased).”

• “Better latte than never”
• “It gets you going in the morning. Take that any way you like.”
• “Just brew it.”
• “Makes peopling bearable!”
• “The number one drink of people at AA meetings”
• “It’s 5 a.m. somewhere”
• “Preventing you from murdering morning people.”
• “The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee”
• “Columbia’s second-best pick-me-up”
• “Once you go black, you never go back!”

Best of BS . . .

• Welcome back, Johnsons! Are you ready to party?
• Do you think you’ll be at the next reunion, since you’re his 4th wife??
• Sooooo, am I in your will?
• Lets pull out the Ouija board to see what Gramps is up to.
• Anyone for naked Twister?
• How are all you people not dead yet?
• If the police show up, I’m not here, okay…?
• When is it OK for me to leave?
• Didn’t we used to date?
• Who ARE these people?
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2017

Convert your sofa into a sofa-bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

What is an excuse that you’ve used to leave early or get out of work?

Question: People who work in the farming, fishing, and forestry industries are more likely to do this than any other profession. What?
Answer:  Marry a co-worker.

A brother may not be a friend, but a friend will always be a brother.


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