Monday, December 20, 2004 Edition: #2934
We’re Bullish on Radio!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
• “Desperate Housewives” stars Teri Hatcher, Nicolette Sheridan, Felicity Huffman, Marcia Cross and Eva Longoria have been offered more than $2 million each to shed their clothes for a “Playboy” pictorial – but only if all 5 agree to pose. The actresses are said to be ‘considering’.
– “In Touch Weekly”
• Lisa Marie Presley has sold of the bulk of her father Elvis’ estate in a deal worth $100 million. Impresario Robert FX Sillerman has agreed to buy 85% of Elvis Presley Enterprises. As well as running Graceland, Sillerman will own Elvis’ name and likeness, the rights to his photos and revenue from his music, TV shows and films.
– World Entertainment News Network
• The usually reclusive Michael Jackson invited some 200 children to Neverland Ranch FRIDAY for a Christmas ‘play date’. Jackson met the kids upon their arrival and, according to reporters, looked as if he wanted to stay and play with the kids. When one of the youngsters shouted, “We love you!” Jackson replied “I love you more.”
– “E! Online”
• Actress Sharon Stone has been dumped – again. It seems her lawyer boyfriend Bernie Cahill told her it was all over after the pair had a massive argument.
– “Sun” tabloid
• California lawyer Susan Loggans, who recently bought a $7.95 million Pacific Palisades home from Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, is now suing California’s first couple, claiming they hid damage to the estate’s pool and tennis court, as well as a mold problem in the movie screening room.
– “Smoking Gun”
• In a new interview, Paris Hilton says she’ll cover David Bowie’s “Fame” and Blondie’s “Heart of Glass”, and will be working with Lil’ Jon on a track titled “That’s Hot” on her upcoming CD. She also reveals she’s never had a boob job because they – quote – “look deformed” and she thinks tattoos above the butt are “cheesy and unoriginal”.
– “Rolling Stone”
• Lindsay Lohan and Osama Bin Laden have been voted “Naughtiest People of 2004″ in a poll sponsored by heavy.com. Nearly 800,000 voted on the site’s annual ‘Naughty List’, in which teen queen Lohan handily bested her nearest rival, Paris Hilton, by 56,000 votes. Interestingly, the public seems to find lip-syncing to be naughtier than making homemade porno tapes. On the men’s side, Bin Laden overwhelmingly beat out Michael Jackson, Scott Peterson and Ron Artest.
– “NY Post”
• Sharon Osbourne has admitted she’s unable to conquer daily bouts of bulimia even after having her stomach stapled to stop herself from binging on food.
– “Daily Mail”
• “Two & a Half Men” star Charlie Sheen & actress-wife Denise Richards are expecting their 2nd child in JUNE. The couple’s daughter Sam will soon turn 1 year-old. Sheen also has a 20-year-old daughter from a previous marriage.
– “People” magazine
• FRIDAY a Gibson SG electric guitar played by George Harrison of the Beatles sold for $567,500 to top the list of items sold at what auction house Christie’s says was its biggest-ever sale of show biz memorabilia.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
• Ex-“Buffy the Vampire Killer” stars Sarah Michelle Gellar & Charisma Carpenter are reportedly competing for the lead role in upcoming superhero movie “Wonder Woman”. The actresses, who played ‘Buffy Summers’ and ‘Cordelia Chase’ in the hit TV series, are battling for the iconic role after their former boss, Joss Whedon, agreed to direct the movie remake of the ‘70s television show.
– “Daily Record”
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• B-52s – Singer Kate Pierson’s former home and inspiration for the 1989 hit “Love Shack” has burned down and fire officials in Athens-Clarke County, Georgia are investigating the possibility of arson. Many of the band’s early songs were created in the now-gutted cabin.
• Bryan Adams – A pair of his unwashed black Armani socks that he left in the back of a British cab has sold for $1,046 on eBay. The taxi company donated the proceeds to charity.
• Coldplay – Chris Martin will have his own family tour bus when the group kicks off a British tour next year, so he can bring wife Gwyneth Paltrow and baby daughter Apple along for the ride.
• Gretchen Wilson – LAST NIGHT she was interviewed by Ed Bradley on “60 Minutes” and took him on a tour of Big O’s, the Pocahontas IL bar where she once worked as a bartender.
• Hoobastank – They’ve canceled the remainder of their tour due to singer Doug Robb suffering from pneumonia.
• Joe Nichols – TONIGHT at the Patriots-Dolphins “Monday Night Football” game in Miami, he performs “What’s a Guy Gotta Do” and “Brokenheartsville” at halftime, with choreography from the Dolphin cheerleaders.
• Mariah Carey will be the headliner in the “Walt Disney World Christmas Day Parade” airing on ABC-TV Christmas Day. She’ll perform “Joy To The World” and her own seasonal hit “All I Want For Christmas”.
• Paul McCartney – He’s revealed that, for the past couple of years, he’s had fake acrylic nails applied to help him more easily play the guitar.
• Whitney Houston – She’s walked away unscathed after crashing her Porsche into a bus while pulling out of a shopping center in Alpharetta GA near her home. The bus was barely scratched but the Whitney’s bumper was damaged. She’s been charged with failing to yield, a minor offense.
“WEEKLY WORLD NEWS” HEADLINES:
• “Regis Philbin Is Homeless!”
• “Good Excuses for Every Sin!”
• “New Lesbian Bible Boots Men Out of Good Book!”
• “Space Alien Skull Found!”
• “Siamese Twins Split Up! One’s Gay, One’s Straight!”
NO WONDER YOU’RE BROKE ALL THE TIME:
An economist from the University of Texas has released extensive research from the US, Canada and China which proves conclusively that beautiful people earn more money than the rest of us. His studies suggest that people in the top 30% in the looks department earn between 3-to-5% more than those in the middle 60% of the appearance scale. People in the bottom 10% do even worse, earning 10% less than average. (Especially the fashion models.)
– “Curious Times”
HO HO HO BONUS:
Some Australian bosses are giving out unusual Christmas bonuses – free sex! The legal brothels in the state of Queensland are gearing up for their busiest time of year as many workplaces are giving out gift certificates for strip clubs, lap dances, even whorehouses. The practice has been gaining popularity in recent years as tax laws in Australia allow companies to claim a tax deduction on all Christmas bonuses. The unique gifts seem to boost morale significantly. Of course, not everyone is pleased with the trend. The Australian Families Association calls it ‘further promotion of sleaze’. (If there’s a wives’ association, they likely aren’t so thrilled either.)
– “Queensland Sunday Mail”
WANNA BUY A WATCH?
Scientists from the National Institute for Standards & Technology have created the first ‘Atomic Wristwatch’. The extreme time-keeping device is only about the size of a sugar cube, but keeps time accurately within about 1 second every 300 years, about 1,000 times more accurate than a standard wristwatch. The first batch will cost about $100, but the price will come down quickly as consumer demand increases. (“… and I see that it’s coming up on 7.56829 minutes before 8 this morning …”)
– CNN
BAD SANTAS:
The world’s largest gathering of Santa Clauses has ended the way many Christmas parties involving unlimited booze do – a mass drunken brawl. In the town of Newtown, Wales some 4,200 folks dressed up as Santa Claus showed up for a day of celebration in order to raise money for charity. But as the day wore on, a number of ‘Santas’ headed to a local pub and proceeded to polish off some pints. Conversations began to get heated and finally the police had to be were called in to break up a brawl of over 30 sauced-up Santas. (Nothing worse than Santa IN the bag.)
– Sky News
FOR THE RECORD:
Santhosh Kumar of India has finally been rewarded for 5 years of practising how to drive with no hands. With his hands tied behind his back, Kumar managed to drive 375 miles using only his legs to operate the brake, clutch and steering wheel. He averaged a speed of 25 mph, taking 15 hours to complete the trek. (This is nothing new … ever watch a woman do her make-up while commuting on the freeway?)
THE BULL SHEET 12.20.2K4
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [58] John Spencer (Speshock), NYC, TV actor (2002 Emmy Award for ‘Chief of Staff Leo McGarry’ on “The West Wing”)
1959 [45] Scott Goodyear, Toronto ON, TV auto racing analyst (ABC Sports)/Indy Car racing driver who broke a bone in his back in 2001 “Indianapolis 500″
1966 [38] Chris Robinson, Atlanta GA, rock singer (ex-Black Crowes-“Hard to Handle”)/Mr Kate Hudson since 2000
1990 [14] JoJo (Joanna Levesque), Foxborough MA, pop singer (“Leave [Get Out]”)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Games Day”. The best-selling board game of all-time? ‘Monopoly’, with over 200 million games sold in 80 countries and in 26 languages since 1935.
TODAY is “I’ve Got My Big Fat Pants On Day”, a day to wear anything you want as long as it’s
comfortable and roomy. (Wouldn’t this be better celebrated AFTER Christmas?)
TOMORROW is “Winter Solstice” as winter officially arrives at 7:42 am EST. The shortest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere is the excuse for the tongue-in-cheek observances “Look At The Bright Side Day” and “National Flashlight Day”. In pagan times, it was the beginning of the celebration “Yule”, source of the ‘yule log’.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1946 [58] Frank Capra’s classic Christmas film “It’s A Wonderful Life” starring Jimmy Stewart premieres in NYC
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1911 [93] 1st ‘artificial ice rink’ (Frank Patrick-Vancouver BC)
1919 [85] Canadian National Railway (CNR) is established
1928 [76] 1st international ‘dogsled mail’ leaves Minot ME for Montréal
1979 [25] “Trivial Pursuit” is invented by Montréal journalists Chris Haney and Scott Abbott to settle an argument over who’s the better board game player (patented December 10, 1981 and generates $1 billion in sales in 1984 alone)
1842 [162] 1st ‘in-home bathtub’ in America unveiled at Adam Thompson’s house party in Virginia
1879 [125] 1st demonstration of ‘incandescent light bulb’ by Thomas Edison (Christmas tree lights developed just 3 years later by Edison’s assistant Edward Johnson)
1980 [24] 1st (and only) NFL telecast with NO announcers (as a stunt, NBC uses only sounds and graphics for meaningless Jets-Dolphins game)
COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Humbug Day
[Wed] “Meet the Fockers” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] Christmas Eve
[Fri] Egg Nog Day
[Sat] “Fat Albert” and “The Dark” open in movie theaters
[Sun] Kwanzaa begins
This Week Is . . . It’s About Time Week
This Month Is . . . Tie Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
WEIRD CHRISTMAS SUPERSTITIONS:
• Wearing new shoes on Christmas Day will bring bad luck. (Not to mention aching feet.)
• Snow on Christmas means Easter will be green. (Duh – like when wasn’t it?)
• Place shoes side-by-side on Christmas Eve to prevent a quarreling family. (Or get a turkey with 6 drumsticks.)
• If you don’t eat any plum pudding, you will lose a friend before the next Christmas. (Yeah right, probably the one who made the pudding.)
• If you refuse mince pie at Christmas dinner, you will have bad luck for a year. (But you’ll save the embarrassment of upchucking on the dinner table.)
• On Christmas Eve all animals can speak, but it is bad luck to hear them. (Especially if its your lecherous uncle Hans.)
• It’s bad luck to let any fire go out in your house during the Christmas season. (It’s worse luck to let the whole shebang burn to the ground!)
• A blowing wind on Christmas Day brings good luck. (But not right after dinner.)
2004’S SEXIEST CANADIAN SINGERS:
According to ChartAttack’s year-end readers’ poll, here are the leaders in the ‘Throw Your Underwear‘ category …
FEMALE:
1. Avril Lavigne
2. Sarah McLachlan
3. Melissa Auf Der Maur
MALE:
1. Pierre Bouvier (Simple Plan)
2. Jeff Martin (The Tea Party)
3. William Shatner (yeah right)
BS WHEREFORE ART THOU?
• In what country did the real St Nicholas live – Sweden, Latvia, or Turkey? [He was bishop of the Turkish town of Myra in the early 4th century.]
• Which country celebrates Christmas with fireworks – China, Taiwan or Brazil? [Brazil.]
• What country was “Good King Wenceslas” from – Scotland, Czechoslovakia, or Germany? [He was a 10th century duke who later became the patron saint of Czechoslovakia. He was not a king, however, but became famous for his good deeds.]
• In which country would it be bad etiquette to send red Christmas cards – New Zealand, Japan, or Cuba? [Japan, since funeral notices there are customarily printed in red.]
• In which country do kids anxiously await “Grandfather Frost”, who shows up with Christmas goodies on January 1st – Russia, Sweden, or Iceland? [Russia, where Santa is known as “D’yed Moroz.”]
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: In a new poll asking the ‘Most Annoying Things About the Holiday Season’, THIS ranks #1.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: The classic holiday tune “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Every age is modern to those living in it.
