December 16, 2004

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Thursday, December 16, 2004        Edition: #2932
It’s Time For Your Daily Bovine Colonic!

TONIGHT’s 3-hour finalé of “The Apprentice 2″ includes a cast reunion, a live performance of “For the Love of Money” by the O’Jays, and the hiring of the winner (30-year-old lawyer Jennifer Massey or 37-year-old software executive Kelly Perdew) . . . “Lord Of The Rings” babe Liv Tyler has become a mom, giving birth to a yet-to-be-named boy, the first child for her & British hubby Royston Langdon . . . The family of slain Damageplan guitarist ‘Dimebag Darrell’ Abbott had him buried in a ‘Kiss Kasket’, featuring the faces of the 4 founding members of KISS, the KISS logo and the words “Kiss Forever” (how tasteful) . . . Buzz is Lindsay Lohan spends over $100-a-jar for a specially-formulated, prescription-only skin-bleaching cream – to get rid of her much-hated freckles (that money would be better spent on singing lessons, darlin’) . . .   Mick Jagger has run up a staggering $1.6-million tab staying in a $6,650-a-night penthouse suite at the exclusive Claridges Hotel in London’s Mayfair district while work on his home is completed (a hotel spokesperson confirms that, as a regular customer, Mick gets a small discount) . . . According to a poll of men by Glenfiddich Whiskey, 1950s movie legend James Dean is the ‘Coolest Icon of All Time’, followed by Elvis and actor Steve McQueen (the only women in the top 20 are Audrey Hepburn and – huh? – Madonna).

• Avril Lavigne – THIS MORNING she’s on “Live With Regis & Kelly”.
• Barry Manilow – The 61-year-old schmaltzy ‘70s singer has signed a long-term deal to perform 5 nights-a-week, 24 weeks-a-year through 2006 at the Las Vegas Hilton hotel-casino. The 90-minute show premieres FEBRUARY 25th and is called “Manilow: Music and Passion”.
• Ciara – TONIGHT she’s on “Late Show With David Letterman”.
• Eminem – The Ferndale MI studio where he recorded his hit “My Name Is” is up for sale on eBay. Minimum bid is $215,000.
• Enrique Iglesias – He & Russian babe/pseudo-tennis star Anna Kournikova apparently were wed in secret on the beach in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico a few weeks ago.
• Finger Eleven – TONIGHT, after an extensive worldwide tour, they’re back home to play a charity show at Big Buck’s in Burlington ON in support of the local food bank.
• Janet Jackson – The stage on which she infamously had a wardrobe malfunction during the Super Bowl half-time show was up for auction on eBay, but no one met the starting bid of $9,500.
• Sawyer Brown – TONIGHT they’ll perform their new single “Mission Temple Fireworks Stand” on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” with the help of the South Central Los Angeles Urban Entertainment Institute choir.
• SheDaisy – TODAY they appear on ABC-TV’s daytime talk show “The View”.

Hilary Swank is set to play a femme fatale in “The Black Dahlia”, a thriller about the high-profile murder of Elizabeth Short in 1940s Los Angeles . . . Jennifer Lopez took a pay cut, from her regular $15 million to a paltry $4 million, to star opposite Robert Redford in the upcoming “An Unfinished Life”, because she thinks the role will ‘prove she can act’ . . . The stars of “Lord of the Rings” have given director Peter Jackson a promise they’ll return to do its predecessor “The Hobbit” if he can secure the rights and is prepared to make it . . . Word is Nicole Kidman bowed out of the bigscreen version of the hit Broadway musical “The Producers” because she simply doesn’t have time to practise the singing and dancing the role requires before shooting begins in FEBRUARY . . . Arnold Schwarzenegger is heading back to the bigscreen for a cameo in the upcoming comedy “The Kid and I”, written and produced by his pal Tom Arnold.

Scientists have discovered a group of anti-inflammatory compounds in the bark of the Scotch Pine, the tree most-widely used for holiday season decoration. The researchers claim that Scotch Pine bark could be developed into food supplements or drugs for treating arthritis and other forms of pain. (Holiday season hangover? Gnaw on the trunk of your tannenbaum!)
– “The Journal of Agriculture & Food Chemistry”

Highlights of a new joint Purdue-Rutgers study on sex bias in the workplace …
• In general, women like women more than men like men.
• Women are nearly 5 times more likely than men to say positive things about members of their own gender.
• Both men & women who favor their mothers over their fathers have a pro-female bias.
• And no surprise here – heterosexual men who regularly have sex are more likely to feel positive about women than men who rarely get any.
– “Journal of Personality & Social Psychology”

Forget brown paper bags under the holiday tree. Or white paper and a red stick-on bow. Like clothes and homes, gift-wrapping is now all about fashion. THIS YEAR’s paper comes in fancy colors (anyone for fuchsia and emerald green?) and stripes with glittery and metallic finishes.
Accessories such as fake fur, brooches and beads will decorate the best-dressed packages.
And ribbons are not to be treated lightly. Think chenille, filament wire, beads and pearls. The trend is fueled in part because people are spending so much time and money decorating their homes these days, plain wrapping looks out of place beneath elaborate trees and beside glittering accessories. (You know, some people have way too much money.)
– “Wall Street Journal”

More than 2,000 new entries have been added to the online edition of “The Oxford English Dictionary” THIS MONTH. Among them …
• Backsplash – A strip of tile, wood or other material placed against the wall behind a sink. Now a popular term thanks to all the reno shows on TV.
• Benjamins – Money, $100-bills in particular.
• Chinglish – A patois language in which both English and Chinese words are used together.
• Co-Sleeping – A baby or child sleeping with parent(s) all night, every night. Either due to childhood fears or parental worries over SIDS.
• Hoochie – A young woman who dresses or behaves in a seductive manner.

People under pressure to meet deadlines are 6 times more likely to suffer a heart attack, new research reveals. According to the Stockholm Heart Epidemiology Program, intense pressure seems to have a greater impact on the heart than accumulated stress over a one-year period.
Other work factors that can cause the ‘big one’ – being put in a competitive situation at work doubles the risk and – oddly – being praised by the boss more than doubles the risk (… of being stabbed in the back by a co-worker).

• A horny 81-year-old man in Wiesbaden, Germany couldn’t believe his luck when a pair of hotties asked him to join them in a nude photo-shoot. But after he removed his pants in eager anticipation, the women picked them up and fled – along with his wallet containing $275 in cash.
• McHenry County College in Crystal Lake IL has a new course no student should sleep through – ‘Coffee 101′.
• A would-be thief in Georgetown, Guyana who was attempting to tape a child’s mouth shut during a home invasion was chased and caught by neighbors and – duct-taped to a telephone pole!

You think censorship is tough now? The first TV show to show any portion of a toilet was “Leave it to Beaver” (1957-63). After fighting for 10 WEEKS to show the toilet, CBS-TV would only allow the producers to show the tank portion, not the whole commode.

“I am such a Jersey girl. I am totally cheesy at heart. I’m gaudy; I like wearing tchotchke jewelry; I like cheesy guido music.”
– Party girl and once-in-a-while actress Tara Reid once again proving what an Einstein she is in “Stuff” magazine’s JANUARY issue.


1941 [63] Lesley Stahl, Lynn MA, well-preserved TV journalist (“60 Minutes” since 1991)

1946 [58] Benny Andersson, Stockholm SWE, oldies singer (ABBA-“Dancing Queen”)

1949 [55] Billy Gibbons, Houston TX, classic rock guitarist/singer (ZZ Top-“Legs”)

1963 [41] Benjamin Bratt, San Francisco CA, movie actor (“Miss Congeniality”)

1963 [41] Jeff Carson, Tulsa OK, country singer (“The Car”)

1971 [33] Michael McCary, Philadelphia PA, retired pop singer (Boyz II Men-“End of the Road”)

TODAY is “National Chocolate Covered Anything Day”, so fill up the tub and invite that special someone over!

TODAY “Nine Days of Posadas” begins, the traditional Mexican Christmas celebration that includes breaking open a pinata. Similarly, “Simbang Gabi” or “Christmas Observance” in the Philippines runs TODAY through January 6th, said to be the world’s longest Christmas celebration.

TODAY is “Eat What You Want Day”, a day to actually enjoy what you eat without worrying about quotas and content. (Go ahead, chubby – have another mug of gravy!)

THIS WEEK is “International Language Week” to promote the international language ‘Esperanto’, invented by Dr LL Zamenhof in 1887 to solve the world’s language barrier … but it never really caught on. But what’s wrong with English? Isn’t English what most of the world uses nowadays to communicate? Should England charge a royalty to the rest of the world for the use of English? You can ask how to speak a few words in Esperantese here …
PHONER: 800.377.3726/510.653.0998 (Esperanto League for North America)

1905 [99] First issue of show biz journal “Variety” is published

1997 [07] Hundreds of young Japanese TV viewers suffer nausea and epilepsy-like spasms while watching a “Pokemon” cartoon that features bright, flashing colors

1949 [55] A Swedish fighter plane manufacturer begins producing autos that eventually carry the name ‘Saab’

1972 [32] Miami Dolphins become 1st undefeated team for an entire NFL regular season, and go on to win the Super Bowl (players from that team still gather to celebrate when the last undefeated team loses each season)

[Fri] Underdog Day
[Fri] “Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events”, “The Flight of the Phoenix” and “Spanglish” open in theaters
[Tues] First Day of Winter (7:42 am EST)
This Week Is . . . Tell Someone They’re Doing a Good Job Week
This Month Is . . . National Healthy Skin Month


1. Cheap perfume.
2. Handkerchiefs
3. Socks
(What, no fruitcake?)
– New poll by Morgan Stanley.

1 [TIE] Paris Hilton, Britney Spears
2. Anna Nicole Smith
3. Star Jones
– “Star” magazine.

Have a phone caller or studio guest try to decide which of the following are actual articles from current issues of women’s magazines and which are total BS fakes …
• “What Turns Him on Most – at 25, 35, 45!” (“Redbook”)
• “His 9 Pleasure Triggers!” (“Cosmopolitan”)
• “Outsmart Dangerous Fat With 3 Expert Strategies!” (“Chatelaine”)
• “Is He Too Big For His Britches? Here’s How to Cut Him Down to Size!” (BS)
• “Get Through December Without Gaining Weight!” (“Woman’s Day”)
• “Martinis: The New Mistletoe!” (BS)
• “Surprising Sex Secrets Happy Couples Know!” (“Redbook”)
• “8 Tips for More Joy, Less Stress!” (“Ladies Home Journal”)
• “How to Gift-Wrap Your Package Just For Him!” (BS)
• “Is He a Hugger or a Kisser?” (“Cosmopolitan”)

• What’s the most important activity to you during the holidays?
• You learn a lot about someone from the music they download. Call in and read us your MP3s and we’ll tell you all about your personality.

Today’s Question: The first-ever ‘junk mail’ included free samples of THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Vicks VapoRub.

Time may be a great healer but it’s also a lousy beautician.

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