Friday, December 17, 2004        Edition: #2933
Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY Christie’s is set to auction off a collection of show biz memorabilia in LA that includes a guitar played by George Harrison (1966-69); and a 1991 drug-addled letter from the late Kurt Cobain to his wife Courtney Love (expected to fetch $14,000) . . . THIS WEEKEND Universal Orlando theme park is staging a ‘Focker Family Reunion’ as a publicity stunt for the upcoming movie “Meet The Fockers” (opening WEDNESDAY) as 25 real families from across the country with the surname ‘Focker’ are being flown in for an advance screening of the film (the movie is PG-13 so no little Fockers allowed!) . . . SATURDAY Chicago Cubs slugger Sammy Sosa will wed his girlfriend Sonia at Casa de Campo in the Dominican Republic . . . Unsubstantiated rumors are flying that actress Jennifer Garner is 4-to-5 months pregnant with Ben Affleck’s baby, after she’s been spotted looking plumper-than-usual of late . . . Actress Kirsten Dunst is reportedly set to marry on-again/off-again boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal – after winning over his mommy . . . The 10th edition of “Survivor” won’t bow until FEBRUARY, but CBS-TV has already picked up seasons 11 and 12 of the series, continuing it at least through 2006 . . . Ellen DeGeneres’ discarded girlfriend Alexandra Hedison is talking to lawyers about suing for a piece of Ellen’s massive fortune (already spawning the new term ‘galimony’) . . . A source inside Lindsay Lohan’s camp has confirmed that the teen queen is dating actor Colin Farrell (we give that relationship about 2 weeks) . . . The towns of Dundas, Ancaster, Kleinberg & Stouffville have been playing host to the cast & crew of “The West Wing” for the past 2 weeks as Southern Ontario stands in for New Hampshire in shoots for upcoming episodes about the US presidential primaries.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Aerosmith – Actress Liv Tyler’s new baby boy makes Steve Tyler a grandpa.
• Ashlee Simpson – Her manager-pop Joe Simpson has ordered changes to her debut acting role in the upcoming movie “Wannabe”. Ashlee’s character will no longer be a lesbian because “It doesn’t work for her to be gay the first thing out.” She’ll no doubt be talking about the role TONIGHT on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Destiny’s Child – TOMORROW they’re on NBC-TV’s “Saturday Night Live”.
• Lenny Kravitz – He’s in talks with former Gucci designer Tom Ford to create his own upmarket fashion collection, some of which he’ll design himself.
• Queen – They’re planning to tour NEXT YEAR with guitarist-vocalist Paul Rodgers replacing late frontman Freddie Mercury, who died of AIDS in 1991.
• Shania Twain – She remains atop of the “Billboard” ‘Top Country Albums’ chart for another week. Her “Greatest Hits” CD saw a 22% sales increase LAST WEEK, selling 237,000 copies.
• U2 – What’s thought to be the earliest photo of the band, taken in Sweden in 1982 by acclaimed Dutch photographer Anton Corbijn, has been sold at auction for a little over $16,000 to an anonymous Irish fan (named Bono?).

OPENING IN THEATERS TODAY:
• “Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events” (PG Family Fantasy): Jim Carrey, Meryl Streep & Jude Law star in this adaptation of the popular Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler) children’s books. Carrey plays the wicked ‘Count Olaf’ who schemes to swindle a family of orphaned children out their inheritance. “A Series of Unfortunate Events” is actually a series of 11 books (so far); this film covers the first 3 of them (leaving lots of room for sequels).
• “The Flight of the Phoenix” (PG-13 Action Adventure): Dennis Quaid plays a pilot who’s stranded with his crew in the Sahara Desert after their plane crashes. The only way out is – up! A remake of the 1965 movie of the same name starring James Stewart.
• “Spanglish” (PG-13 Romantic Comedy): Adam Sandler & Tea Leoni play a celebrated chef and his insecure wife who hire a housekeeper (Paz Vega) recently emigrated from Mexico. Adding complications – the new housekeeper speaks no English and she has a 12-year-old daughter who also moves in.

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A BS snapshot of who were are and what we do …
• 86% of men and 32% of women say that when they met their partner, it was love at first sight.
• 66% of children invent an ‘imaginary friend’ at some point in their lives.
• 59% of women prefer ‘good guys’ over ‘bad boys’.
• 52% of us say we’ve sung “Singing in the Rain” while taking a shower.
• 26% of women pick Johnny Depp as the celebrity they’d most like to celebrate with on New Year’s Eve. 31% pick … Ashton Kutcher.
• 15% of dog owners met their future spouse while walking the mutt.

UNNATURAL BEAUTIES:
TOMORROW Beijing, China hosts the world’s first beauty contest in which contestants are REQUIRED to have had some form of cosmetic surgery. The 20 finalists, aged 18-to-62, will parade their nips and tucks, hoping to be named “Miss Artificial Beauty”. 21-year-old contestant Liu Xiaojing [loo zhow-ZING] revealed just a few days ago that up until 3 years back she was – a guy! (Well that certainly qualifies as going ‘under the knife’.)
– “Daily News”

HOLIDAY GIFT SUPERSTITIONS:
Occasional BS contributor Robyn Bentley, who bills herself as the ‘Feng Shui Diva‘ [fung SHWAY], has come up with a list of dos and don’ts for holiday gifting. Failing to follow these guidelines could be bad for your karma … or damage your feng … or something –
• Don’t give sharp objects like a knife, scissors, or letter opener. It sends harsh energy to the receiver and is said to sever the friendship.
• Don’t give watches and clocks. They’re popular gifts in North America but in eastern culture they suggest a limited lifespan.
• Don’t give empty wallets and purses. Always include a small amount of money.
• Don’t give handkerchiefs. They suggest that you expect the recipient to be doing a lot of crying in the future or to be wiping away sweat from frustration.
• Don’t give long-stemmed red roses with thorns because they are said to cause the relationship to suffer. Yellow, cream or pink roses with no thorns would be a better choice.
• Sweets are a great gift. They symbolize that you wish the person to have a sweet life, so they mean good fortune. Thank goodness there is a variety of low carb sweets these days so dieters don’t have to be left out!
• Never recycle gifts. When you recycle a gift, it symbolizes that you are giving away your friendship with the person who gave you the gift.
PHONER: 804.241.1685 (Robyn Bentley, Richmond VA)
NET: http://www.fengshuidiva.com

AND WE QUOTE:
 “I’m not doing Playboy, no. Never.”
– Lindsay Lohan confirming she turned down an approach by “Playboy” magazine to appear in the mag’s 20 questions feature (not a nude photo spread as rumored).

THE BULL SHEET 12.17.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [58] Eugene Levy, Hamilton ON, movie actor (“American Pie 1-3″)/former TV actor (‘Stan Shmenge’ and many other characters-“SCTV”)

1958 [46] Mike Mills, Orange County CA, rock bassist (REM-“Imitation Of Life”, “Losing My Religion”)

1970 [34] Sean Patrick Thomas, Wilmington DE, movie actor (“Barbershop 1 & 2”)

1974 [30] Giovanni Ribisi, LA CA, movie actor (“The Flight of the Phoenix”, “Cold Mountain”)

1975 [29] Milla Jovovich, Kiev, Ukraine, movie actress (“Resident Evil: Apocalypse”, “Zoolander”)

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
Rocker Keith Richards (Rolling Stones) is 61; Movie mogul Steven Spielberg (DreamWorks) is 58; Actor Ray Liotta (“GoodFellas”) is 49; Movie star Brad Pitt (“Ocean’s 12″) is 41; Country singer Tracy Byrd (“Revenge of a Middle-Aged Woman”) is 38; Rapper DMX is 34; Actress Katie Holmes (“Dawson’s Creek”) is 26; Singer Christina Aguilera (“Beautiful”) is 24.

SUNDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
Actress Alyssa Milano (“Charmed”) is 32; Actor Jake Gyllenhall (“The Day After Tomorrow”) is 24.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “National Maple Syrup Day”, honoring the great Canadian taste treat that requires a second mortgage on your house to purchase. There are over 12,000 maple syrup producers in Canada, accounting for more than 85% of world production. The province of Québec is the world’s top-ranking maple syrup producer, accounting for more than 70% of all production.

TODAY the “First Flight Anniversary Celebration” will be held at Kill Devil Hills NC. A tradition since 1928, it honors the Wright Brothers’ flight at Kitty Hawk NC December 17th, 1903. 101 years ago at 10:35 am ET, the first sustained motorized aircraft flight travelled a total of 850 ft. Orville Wright was the pilot, winning the honors in a coin toss. Wilbur got to run alongside.

TODAY is “Underdog Day”, to salute all of the underdogs and unsung heroes – the ‘Number Twos’ who contribute so much to the ‘Number Ones’ that we always read about. Sherlock Holmes’s Dr Watson, Robinson Cruse’s Friday, the Lone Ranger’s Tonto, Captain Kirk’s Mr Spock & [co-host] are examples. Ask listeners for other followers who’ve been under-appreciated.

TODAY through January 3rd over 40,000 North American bird watchers will conduct the annual “Audubon Christmas Bird Count”. (“1,502 [bam!] … 1,501 …”)

TODAY is the 2nd annual “International Day To End Violence Against Sex Workers”, when organizers are asking sex workers and their customers around-the-world to gather at 5 pm local time to honor prostitutes who have been killed while on-the-job.
NET: http://www.iswface.org/daytoendviolence.html

In ancient Rome, the week beginning TODAY was “Saturnalia”, the festival honoring Saturn the planter god, which was marked with these lasting traditions – the exchange of gifts, illumination of lights and the closing of businesses. Early Christian church leaders scheduled “Christmas” at this time of year partly to counteract this extremely popular but disapproved pagan celebration.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1959 [45] 1st movie to open simultaneously in major cities as “On the Beach” opens in 17 cities

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1994 [10] Pop diva Céline Dion marries her manager Rene Angelil the same day as actress Heather Locklear marries rocker Richie Sambora

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1791 [213] A traffic regulation in NYC establishes the 1st ‘One Way Street’

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1965 [39] ‘Largest-Ever Newspaper’, a Sunday edition of the “New York Times”, runs 946 pages but is modestly priced at just 50 cents (or about 5 cents a pound)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] First Day of Winter (7:42 am EST)
[Tues] Humbug Day
[Tues] Look at the Bright Side Day
[Tues] National Flashlight Day
This Week Is . . . International Language Week
This Month Is . . . Art & Architecture Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
WORST MOVIES OF 2004:
What do you think was the foulest film of the year? Here’s columnist Jack Mathews’ opinion, listed alphabetically …
“Alien Vs Predator “
“Around the World in 80 Days “
“Catwoman”
“The Butterfly Effect “
“Exorcist: The Beginning “
“Fahrenheit 9/11″
“The Forgotten”
“I Heart Huckabees “
“Surviving Christmas “
“Taxi”
– “NY Daily News”

BS HOLIDAY QUIZ 2:
• Where does the ‘X’ in the Xmas comes from?
a. French
b. Greek [CORRECT. The common abbreviation for Christmas to Xmas is derived from Greek. ‘X’ is the letter ‘Chi’ in the Greek alphabet.]
c. Atheism

• Which of the following carols was originally written for Thanksgiving?
a. “Joy to the World”
b. “O Come All Ye Faithful”
c. “Jingle Bells” [CORRECT. “Jingle Bells” was composed in 1857 by pastor James Pierpoint for children celebrating Thanksgiving in his Boston Sunday School.]

• Which province donates a giant evergreen each year to the city of Boston MA?
a. Nova Scotia [CORRECT. Each year what is known as ‘The Boston Christmas Tree’ is donated to the people of Boston as a thank-you for their assistance after the 1917 Halifax Explosion.]
b. Quebec
c. Ontario
   
• Apart from “Boxing Day”, what is DECEMBER 26th also known as?
a. St Nicholas Day
b. St Stephen’s Day [CORRECT]
c. Refund Day

• Who composed “The Nutcracker”?
a. Mozart
b. Tchaikovsky [CORRECT. Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky completed it in 1892.]
c. Rodgers & Hammerstein
   
• Which city is known as ‘The Gingerbread Capital of the World’?
a. Nuremberg, Germany [CORRECT]
b. Edinburgh, Scotland
c. Melfort, Saskatchewan

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: THIS is the #1 thing that women hide from men.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Old love letters.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You can’t be first, but you could be next.