Wednesday, December 10, 2003        Edition: #2684
Jingle Bull … Jingle Bull …

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT ABC-TV finally airs “Trista & Ryan’s Wedding”, the marriage ceremony of made-for-TV couple Trista Rehn (“The Bachelorette”) & Ryan Sutter, who actually wed on the weekend at the Lodge in Rancho Mirage, a resort outside Palm Springs CA . . . Meantime, “The Bachelor’s” Andrew Firestone and selected fiancée Jen Schefft have announced they’ve split in a ‘totally amicable’ decision (translation: they took the money & ran) . . . Comedians at TONIGHT’S “British Comedy Awards” have reportedly been instructed NOT to do any jokes about Britain’s royal family (like waving a red flag in front of a bull, ain’t it?) . . . Here’s how celebs shop – Justin Timberlake brought his 80-strong entourage into London’s exclusive Harrod’s department store after-hours for a 4-hour spree that lasted till 3:30am, during which he personally spent $1.6 MILLION on holiday gifts . . . Here’s how celebs go to a wedding – P Diddy showed up for a ceremony in Miami driving his own light-blue Ferrari convertible with a clear engine hood, his half-dozen bodyguards following in an SUV . . . U2’s Bono has reportedly put in a bid of $59.5 million to buy an ENTIRE FLOOR of NYC’s legendary Dakota Building, where John Lennon was killed . . . FOX-TV is so happy with the ratings for “The Simple Life”,  negotiations are underway for Paris Hilton to appear in another show for a reported fee close to $3 million (makes you wonder if that whole ‘sex video scandal’ was an elaborate PR stunt, doesn’t it?) . . . FOX has already scrounged up some “Simple Life” out-takes in order to cobble together a ‘bonus episode’ to air NEXT WEDNESDAY . . . The WB has signed MC Hammer to develop a sitcom based on his life since his bottomed out in 1997 (when it comes to cheesy shows, “You Can’t Touch This”) . . . Reports of a split-up between Renee Zellweger and White Stripes rocker Jack White may be premature – they’ve been spotted ring-shopping at an exclusive LA jeweler (rumor rumor rumor!).

2003 BILLBOARD MUSIC AWARDS:
• TONIGHT “American Idol’s” Ryan Seacrest hosts the annual music awards based on record sales & radio airplay from the MGM Grand in Las Vegas on FOX-TV.
• Performances include Beyoncé, Clay Aiken, Evanescence, Foo Fighters, Shania Twain, Sting, and No Doubt.
• 50 Cent leads nominees with 6 nominations, including ‘Artist of the Year’. R Kelly and Beyoncé follow with 5 nominations, then Sean Paul and the Dixie Chicks with 4 each.
• Sting receives the ‘Century Award’ for career achievement.

BS BUZZWORDS:
New terms leaking into the lingo –
• ‘Bocoudie’ – A retro hairstyle for women that involves piled-up waves of curls, predicted to be making a big comeback. Get the curlers out of the cupboard!
• ‘Behavioral Pattern Recognition’ – A new anti-terrorism technique that recognizes and analyses peculiar behavior. Imagine having this gizmo in your studio!
• ‘Binge Smokers’ – People who overdose on nicotine once or twice a week but otherwise do not smoke. Only at parties, perhaps?

TAKING IT EASY:
La-Z-Boy has unveiled its latest creation just in time for Christmas — ‘The Matinee Collection’, 3-piece sets of home theater seating made up entirely of La-Z-Boy furniture. (Is this what we need in this country – more breakthrough innovations in laziness technology? Oh look, this one feeds you intravenously so you never have to get up! Just wear diapers.)

SMELL PHONE TECHNOLOGY:
German inventor Andreas Wuellner has come up with a device that clips onto mobile phones to emit the owners’ favorite smells instead of ring-tones. You’re also able to program in smells that coincide with callers. Say your boyfriend’s calling – you could have the device release his gawd-awful after-shave. Or if your boss is calling – you could program in the smell of BS.

SKY HIGH STOCK:
Toronto online gambling pioneer Warren Eugene is rolling the dice again. This time the founder of ‘Internet Casinos’ plans to establish the world’s first publicly traded marijuana company. He’s already managed to get his company called ‘Medical Cannabis Inc’ listed on the NASDAQ stock exchange. (This guy’s a real slick talker. Try to pin him down on whether this is legal or not.)
PHONER: 416-863-3833 (Toronto)/416-838-3600 (mobile)

URBAN LEGENDS ABOUT VITAMIN C:
• It doesn’t prevent colds, it merely helps you get over them quicker.
• It doesn’t prevent cancer – the verdict is still out on that one.
• Contrary to its advertisements, ‘Ester-C’ is not a superior form of vitamin C. Your body doesn’t detect a difference between them.
• Taking vitamin C does not cause kidney stones, nor does it clog arteries in the neck, or lead to chromosome damage.
Source: “USA Weekend”

COLD HARD FACTS:
• The more extroverted a person is, the less likely he or she is to catch a cold.
• Moderate alcohol use (one or two drinks a day) correlates to less risk of colds. It’s not known whether this is because alcohol promotes relaxation or has other infection-fighting effects.
• Smokers don’t get more colds … but have worse symptoms.

BS AMAZING FACT:
The National Rifle Association is shopping for a radio or TV station to buy so it can declare itself a ‘news organization’ and thus be exempt from campaign-spending limits.

THE BULL SHEET 12.10.2K3

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1952 [51] Susan Dey, Pekin IL, former TV actress (‘Laurie Partridge’-“The Partridge Family”)  FACTOID: If you’re a guy who had a crush on her , you’re now officially an ‘old fart’.

1960 [43] Kenneth Branagh, Belfast N IRE, movie actor/director (Professor Gilderoy Lockhart-“Harry Potter & the Chamber of Secrets”, “Hamlet”)

1969 [34] Rob Blake, Simcoe ON, 6′-4″ 225-lb NHL defenceman (Colorado Avalanche)

1970 [33] Kevin Sharp, CA, country singer (“Love Is All That Matters”, “Nobody Knows”)/
bone cancer survivor who’s now a spokesman for the Make-a-Wish Foundation

1985 [18] Raven-Symone (Pearman), Atlanta GA, TV actress (“That’s So Raven”, “Kim Possible”)/movie actress (“Dr Dolittle 1 & 2″)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
[Inuit] “Festival for the Souls of Dead Whales”

TODAY is “Dewey Decimal Day”, honoring Melville Dewey who was born December 10, 1851 in the small town of Adams Center in upstate New York . Keenly interested in simplified spelling, he shortened his first name to ‘Melvil’ as a young adult and even spelled his last name as ‘Dui’. Dewey invented the ‘Dewey Decimal Classification (DDC) System’ when he was 21 and working as a student assistant in the library of Amherst College. His work created a revolution in library science. He’s known as the ‘Father of Modern Librarianship’.

TODAY is “International Human Rights Day”, honoring the United Nations’ Declaration of Human Rights in 1948.

TODAY is “Nobel Prize Awards Day”. The awards were established by the will of Swedish chemist and dynamite inventor Alfred Nobel and have been held on this date since 1901. The current value of each award is about $1 million. TOMORROW Michael Douglas & Catherine Zeta-Jones host the “Nobel Peace Prize Concert” in Oslo, Norway, which will feature performances by Tim McGraw, The Cardigans, Craig David, The Chieftains w/Rosanne Cash, Robert Plant and others.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1984 [19] African famine relief song “Do They Know It’s Christmas” by Band Aid is released

1990 [13] 1st “Billboard Music Awards” (Janet Jackson picks up 8 trophies)

1994 [09] Kenny G’s “Miracles: The Holiday Album” hits #1 on album charts and becomes best-selling Christmas album in history, selling over 8 million units

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1998 [05] Team of 6 astronauts becomes 1st to occupy the International Space Station

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1972 [31] ‘Longest non-scoring pass’ in NFL history as St Louis Cardinals QB Jim Hart passes from his own 1-yard-line to Bobby Moore (now known as Ahmad Rashad) who’s tackled at LA Rams’ 1-yard-line – a total of 98 yards with no score!

AND REMEMBER . . .
[1 week today] “The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] PM Jean Chretien steps down
[Fri] Poinsettia Day
[Fri] National Ding-A-Ling Day
[Sun] “Survivor: Pearl Islands” finale
[Tues] National Chocolate Covered Anything Day
This Week Is . . . Human Rights Week
This Month Is . . . Hi Neighbor Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS EUPHEMISMS FOR SANTA’S PEE BREAK:
• “Santa’s gotta go empty his toy sack.”
• “Santa’s gotta go scold an elf.”
• “Santa’s gotta go do something about his South Pole.”
• “Excuse me kids, but you don’t buy milk and cookies, you only rent it.”
• “Santa’s gotta go drop another Yule log on the fire.”
• “Santa’s gotta Dasher outta here before he makes Blitzen in his pants.”

BS QUICK-PICK XMAS QUIZ:
• Which direction does Santa’s North Pole home face?
a. West
b. South [CORRECT]
c. North, stupid! It’s at the North Pole.

• ‘Kris Kringle’ is German for what?
a. Festive Father
b. Jolly Dwarf
c. Christ’s Child [CORRECT]

• What Christmas song became ‘The Singing Cowboy’ Gene Autry’s top seller?
a. “Here Comes Santa Claus”
b. “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” [CORRECT]
c. “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”

2003’S HOT 5 HOLIDAY VIDEO GAMES:
So you wanna give the gift of gaming this year? Give any of these 5 and you’ll be the hippest gift giver at your holiday celebration. All of these have come out since OCTOBER, making them hot holiday picks …
1. “The Lord of the Rings, The Return of the King” (PS2, Xbox, GameCube, GBA)
2. “SSX 3″ (PS2, Xbox, GameCube, Game Boy Advance)
3. “Medal of Honor: Rising Sun” (PS2, Xbox, GameCube)
4. “True Crime: Streets of LA” (PS2, Xbox, GameCube)
5. “Quidditch World Cup” (PS2, Xbox, GameCube, Game Boy Advance)
Source: “About.com Video Guide”

BS LEAST RECOMMENDED CHRISTMAS TOYS:
• “Junior Bartending Set”
• “Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Springer Guests”
• “Fear Factor: The Home Game”
• “Microsoft XXX-box”
• “Playskool’s My First Prostate Exam”
• “Burka Barbie”
• “Li’l Naturalist Hornet Farm”
• “Water Retention Wanda Doll”
• “Learn About Puberty Chia Pet”
• “Little Doggie Dentist Kit”
• “Tickle Me Jacko”

TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most requested music files on the Internet …
1. Kelis – “Milkshake”
2. OutKast – “Hey Ya”
3. Chingy – “Holidae In”
4. Murphy Lee – “What Da Hook Gon Be”
5. OutKast – “The Way You Move”
Source: Big Champagne Online Media Measurement

PHONE STARTER:
“Studies show that more than half of pet owners give their pets holiday gifts. What’s the most elaborate pet present you’ve ever heard of?”

BS BLATANT JOKE:
I’m suffering from Mallzheimer’s disease. I go to the mall and forget where I parked my car.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The average man can endure THIS for 72 minutes.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Shopping.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.