Friday, December 22, 2000 Edition: #1960
You say the Play Station 2s and Razor scooters are all sold out? Is that what’s getting you down, bunky? Well, not to worry! You can still likely find some of . . .
THIS YEAR’S LEAST POPULAR BS TOYS:
• ‘Third Arm Barbie’
• ‘Dad’s Little Bartender’
• ‘My First Machete’
• ‘Big Box Of Small, Easy To Swallow, Sharp Edged Plastic Pieces’
• ‘’Pokemon Autopsy Lab’ (Pikachu corpse sold separately)
• ‘The Who’s That With Mommy? Spy Set’
• ‘The Supermodel Polly Purge Doll’
• ‘Tyco Electric Fence’
• ‘Dr Randy’s Home Vasectomy Lab’
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
At well over $200 million and counting, “The Grinch” has now passed “M: I-2″ as the biggest money-making movie of the year . . . Toni Braxton confirms she’s engaged to Keri Lewis of Mint Condition . . . When poor Matt Damon was accosted in the men’s room of a trendy LA bistro by a female fan who barged in, locked the door, and started peeling off her clothes, he reportedly went straight to the restaurant manager to complain (life’s tough when you’re a star).
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
Tom Hanks does the “Survivor” thing in the deserted island adventure “Cast Away” . . . In the romantic comedy “The Family Man”, Nicolas Cage wakes up to find his sports car and girlfriend have become a mini-van and wife . . . Sandra Bullock plays an FBI agent who goes undercover in the ‘Miss United States’ beauty pageant in the comedy “Miss Congeniality” . . . And Ang Lee’s action flick “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” opens wide, starring Yun-Fat Chow & Michelle Yeoh (winning awards as film of the year).
MADONNA WEDDING FACTS:
TODAY 42-year-old Madonna and 32-year-old Guy Ritchie get hitched n the Highlands of Scotland. A quick summary of what we know —
• The ceremony will be followed by a reception at Skibo Castle, one of Europe’s poshest sites for private parties.
• Rev Susan Brown (aka ‘Holy Spice’) will preside and has announced she’ll give the same gift she gives every couple — 2 rolls of toilet paper, wishing their marriage will also be ‘long and strong’.
• The bride will wear a Cartier tiara previously worn by the late Princess Grace of Monaco and a dress designed by Paul McCartney’s daughter Stella. The groom will wear a kilt in Hunting Macintosh tartan.
• Gwyneth Paltrow will be matron of honor and Madonna’s daughter Lourdes is expected to be one of the bridesmaids.
• Infant son Rocco was christened at the 13th-century Dornoch Cathedral in a separate ceremony LAST NIGHT.
• Celebrity guests who have flown in for the bash include Sting, Celine Dion, Rupert Everett and Elton John, who will reportedly perform his instrumental ballad “Song for Guy”.
• Security guards will be checking with mirrors under guests’ kilts for hidden cameras, because there’s a $145,000 bounty for pictures of the event!
THE BULL SHEET 12.22.00
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [55] Diane Sawyer, Glasgow KY, TV news anchor (“Good Morning America”, “20/20″)
1949 [51] Maurice & Robin Gibb, Manchester ENG, classic pop singers (Bee Gees-“Stayin’ Alive”)
1962 [38] Ralph Fiennes (pronounced ‘Rafe Fines’), Suffolk ENG, movie actor (“The English Patient”, “Schindler’s List”)
1974 [26] Heather Donahue, Upper Darby PA, movie actress (“The Blair Witch Project” and, most recently, “The Blair Witch Project”)
SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [57] Harry Shearer, LA CA, TV actor (several voices on “The Simpsons”)/movie actor (“This Is Spinal Tap”)
1946 [54] Susan Lucci, Scarsdale NY, TV soap opera actress (Erica Kane Martin Brent Cudahy Chandler Montgomery Marrick-“All My Children”)/1 for 19 at the “Daytime Emmy Awards”
1964 [36] Eddie Vedder (Mueller), Evanston IL, rock singer (Pearl Jam-“Last Kiss”)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is the first day of “Hanukkah”, Hebrew date Kislev 25, 5761.
TODAY is “International Arbor Day”. What a great time of year to honor trees, just as we’re killing them and dragging them into our homes!
On CHRISTMAS DAY, there will be a partial solar eclipse, when up to 71% of the Sun will be covered. The maximum eclipse local times — Halifax 2:05pm, Montreal 12:46pm, Winnipeg 10:02am, Calgary 9:41am, and Vancouver 8:31am.
ONE YEAR AGO . . .
1999 Jim Carrey’s “Man on the Moon” and Oliver Stone football flick “Any Given Sunday” open
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1882 [118] 1st string of Christmas tree lights created in Thomas Edison’s labs (just 3 years after invention of the light bulb, the original tree lights were red, white & blue)
1980 [20] 1st album released with absolutely no sound (“The Wit & Wisdom Of Ronald Reagan”)
1990 [10] Under the name ‘Mookie Blaylock’, Pearl Jam performs 1st time, as opening act for Alice in Chains in Seattle
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Sun] National Egg Nog Day
[Tues] Gawd-Awful Tie Day
[Tues] National Whiners Day
BULL’S BITS . . .
BS PHONE STARTERS:
• “If they ever did a remake of “It’s a Wonderful Life”, what modern-day actor should get the Jimmy Stewart role?” (In a Blockbuster poll, Nicholas Cage was top choice, followed by George Clooney.)
• “What unusual job has you stuck working Christmas Day? “
• “What do you intend to be doing at the stroke of midnight New Year’s Eve to mark the REAL new millennium?” (According to a “Redbook” online poll, fully 50% of us expect to be MAKING LOVE when the clock strikes 12.)
BS TAG LINE: Money can’t buy you happiness — but neither can poverty.
