Wed, Dec 20, 2000 As Tasteful As a K-Ci Concert Edition: #1958
BS WAYS DOGS CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS:
• By leaving Santa a glass of milk and a mutilated squirrel.
• Decorating the tree with slobber-soaked tennis balls.
• Laying by the fire with a nice brandy, licking themselves.
• Gingerbread-flavored worm pills.
• Attending candlelight vigil to remember neutered brothers.
• Praying for peace on Earth and a slightly larger hole in the fence to the collie’s yard.
• Drinking eggnog out of the toilet bowl.
BS CELEBRITY BUZZ:
Word is 20-year-old Wimbledon tennis champ Venus Williams will sign a $40 million endorsement deal with Reebok THIS WEEK ([your co-host] has new endorsement deal with Trojan) . . . 45-year-old Kevin Costner says he’s totally committed to 26-year-old girlfriend Christine Baumgarten and his skirt-chasing days are over (much like his acting career) . . . Reports say painkiller-addicted actress Melanie Griffith left rehab just 8 days into a 30-day program and hubby Antonio Banderas is furious (because while the cat’s away . . .) . . . 31-year-old “All My Children” actress Kelly Ripa is said to be Kathie Lee’s replacement on “Live with Regis” (she’s pregnant, so soon she’ll have her own ‘Cody’ to talk about) . . . Rumor has it “Charlie’s Angel” Cameron Diaz has given actor boyfriend Jared Leto until the New Year to set a wedding date or she’s dumping him (she means it — just ask Matt Dillon!).
A GIANT STEP TOWARD LESS JUNK MAIL:
Beginning January 1st, the ‘protection of personal information’ becomes a right in Canada. All businesses that are federally regulated, like banks, cable and phone companies, will have to ask permission before taking personal info, state why it’s needed, who’s going to see it, and guarantee it will be protected. (Wait a sec, aren’t radio stations federally regulated?)
NOOKIE TIME:
What’s the best time of the day for sex? In a “Glamour” magazine poll of women, 39% say nighttime, just edging out the 38% who prefer mornings. Only 11% like afternoons. (Asked the same question, 96% of men answered, “What time is it now?”)
MONKEYING AROUND:
“Sydney Morning Herald” reports that women far outnumber men in the field of ‘primatology’, the study of chimps and gorillas, because they are better at interpreting emotions by reading facial expressions and gestures. (Long years of practice at the dinner table.)
NEW TERMS FOR 2000:
• ‘Bubble Tea’ — Also known as ‘boba milk tea’ or ‘tapioca milk tea’, it’s an Asian concoction made of tea, milk, sugar and giant black tapioca balls that’s served hot or cold. It’s becoming a hot commodity in trendy Southern California as an alternative to coffee.
• ‘Frequent Low Mood’ . . . A condition one step up from depression with symptoms that include difficulty sleeping and inability to focus. Experts say that it affects about 10% of us. (A lot more when the January VISA bills are mailed out.)
• ‘Harvey’ . . . To negotiate multiple film deals with a hot new actor. (“His sitcom’s #1? Let’s Harvey him for the next 3 summers.”)
THE BULL SHEET 12.20.00
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [54] John Spencer (Speshock), NYC, TV actor (Chief of Staff Leo McGarry-“The West Wing”)
1945 [55] Peter Criss (Crisscoula), Brooklyn NY, rock drummer with KISS , whose ‘Farewell Tour’ keeps going and going and . . . (they now wear skin-tight leather pants with an elastic waistband and orthopedic platform shoes)
1954 [46] Michael Badalucco, TV actor (Jimmy Berluti-“The Practice”)
1959 [41] Scott Goodyear, Toronto ON, Indy Racing League driver
1966 [34] Chris Robinson, Atlanta GA, rock singer (Black Crowes-“Only a Fool”, “Hard to Handle”)
1970 [30] Travis Green, Castlegar BC, NHL center (Phoenix Coyotes)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Games Day”. The best-selling board game of all time? ‘Monopoly’, with over 200 million games sold in 80 countries and in 26 languages since 1935. ‘Myst’ holds the title for top-selling computer game of all time, having sold close to 6 million copies worldwide since its inception in 1994.
ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1991 [09] NHL grants franchise to Ottawa Senators
1996 [04] “Scream” opens in movie theaters and scares up big box office (and 2 sequels)
1999 [01] Canadian country music legend Hank Snow dies in Nashville at age 85
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1879 [121] 1st demonstration of ‘incandescent light bulb’ by Thomas Edison (Christmas tree lights developed just 3 years later by Edison’s assistant Edward Johnson)
1911 [89] 1st ‘artificial ice rink’ (Frank Patrick-Vancouver)
1919 [81] Canadian National Railway (CNR) is established
1928 [72] 1st international ‘dogsled mail’ leaves Minot ME for Montreal
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Look At The Bright Side Day
[Thurs] Winter begins (8:37am EST)
[Fri] 1st day of Hanukkah
[Sun] National Egg Nog Day
[Jan 1] The REAL Millennium (because there never was a year ‘0′)
International Language Week
National Stress Free Family Holidays Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
NAME THE COUNTRY QUIZ:
• In what country did the real St Nicholas live — Sweden, Latvia, or Turkey? [He was bishop of the Turkish town of Myra in the early 4th century.]
• Which country celebrates Christmas with fireworks — China, Taiwan or Brazil? [Brazil.]
• What country was “Good King Wenceslas” from — Scotland, Czechoslovakia, or Germany? [He was a 10th century duke who later became the patron saint of Czechoslovakia. He was not a king, however, but became famous for his good deeds.]
• In which country would it be bad etiquette to send red Christmas cards — New Zealand, Japan, or Cuba? [Japan, since funeral notices there are customarily printed in red.]
• In which country do kids anxiously await “Grandfather Frost”, who shows up with Christmas goodies on January 1st — Russia, Sweden, or Iceland? [Russia, where Santa is known as “D’yed Moroz.”]
BS TAG LINE: “I Have an Irregular Heartbeat Pa-Rum-Pum-Pum-Pum”
