December 1, 2009

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Tuesday, December 1, 2009       Edition: #4155

Bully For You!

Since 78-year-old TV host Regis Philbin is scheduled to have hip-replacement surgery today, we know his appearances this week as guest host on the syndicated version of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” were prerecorded (likely because he’s just not getting enough screen time) . . . 87-year-old French fashion designer Pierre Cardin has been released from a Paris hospital after being admitted for emergency treatment due to a sudden fall in blood pressure which can lead to unconsciousness (bet he didn’t have to wear one of those tacky gowns with the slit up the back) . . . 57-year-old famous person David Hasselhoff (“America’s Got Talent”) has been released from a Los Angeles hospital after allegedly suffering a ‘seizure’ requiring 2 days of treatment (they’re running out of euphemisms for ‘drying out’) . . . Celebrity blogger Perez Hilton is risking the wrath of Hollywood by taking aim at beloved actress/director Drew Barrymore in his new tell-all book, “True Bloggywood Stories: The Glamorous Life of Beating, Cheating & Overdosing” (out today), alleging her sober public image is a total charade (he’s about to get punched in the nose – again) . . . And reps for acting couple Reese Witherspoon (33) & Jake Gyllenhaal (28) are denying rumors their 2-year relationship has ended, insisting the reports are ‘not true’ (let’s see, it took them a year-and-a-half to admit there WAS a relationship so …).

• “Bonnie Hunt Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – Sea Wolf (“White Water, White Bloom”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Adam Lambert (“For Your Entertainment”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Cold War Kids (“Robbers & Cowards”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Swell Season (“Strict Joy”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Avett Bros (“Emotionalism”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Carrie Underwood (“Play On”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – The Bravery (“Stir the Blood”).
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Rickie Lee Jones (“Balm in Gilead”).
• “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” (CBS) – Heidi Klum hosts the annual holiday season lingerie showcase which sees the world’s highest-paid and most stunning models take to the runway in skimpy underwear and angel wings. The show features a performance by Black Eyed Peas.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Rod Stewart (“Soulbook”).


• Chickenfoot – Tonight the concert film “Chickenfoot Live” screens in select theaters for one showing only. The supergroup features Sammy Hagar & Michael Anthony formerly of Van Halen, renowned guitarist Joe Satriani, and drummer Chad Smith of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
• Lady Gaga – So you wanna be a star? She says every day of her life is booked solid for the next 4 months, until April 2010.
• Rihanna – She’ll reportedly make $500,000 to perform at a New Year’s Eve party at the Emirates Palace Hotel in Abu Dhabi UAE.
• Seal – He wants to adopt his wife Heidi Klum’s 5-year-old daughter, Leni, from her previous relationship with Formula 1 boss Flavio Briatore as he’s raised her since she was a baby. He’s already begun legal proceedings.
• Susan Boyle – Her debut album, “I Dreamed A Dream”, has set a record for the best first-week sales for a debut album in UK chart history.
• Taylor Swift – The 19-year-old has just bought her first house in Nashville TN and will soon move out of her parental home and live alone for the first time in her life.
• Tim McGraw – He says working with actress Sandra Bullock on the movie set of “The Blind Side” was ‘kind of like your sister you hang with, laugh and talk with’. McGraw says Bullock is so unaffected there’s nothing Hollywood about her at all.

• “Night At the Museum: Battle Of the Smithsonian” ( Comedy ): In this sequel to the 2006 hit, Ben Stiller returns as security guard ‘Larry Daley’, this time infiltrating the Smithsonian Institution to rescue ‘Jedediah’ (Owen Wilson) & ‘Octavius’ (Steve Coogan), who’ve been shipped to the museum by mistake. Co-stars Amy Adams (‘Amelia Earhart’) & Robin Williams (‘Teddy Roosevelt’). Also comes in a ‘2-Disc Special Edition’.
• “Terminator Salvation” ( Sci-fi Thriller ): This 4th film in the series stars Christian Bale as ‘John Connor’, who is joined in his attempt to defeat ‘Skynet’ by a man who’s been rescued from the past … or maybe the future? Co-stars Sam Worthington, Anton Yelchin, and Helena Bonham Carter. Cameos from the series’ original stars, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Linda Hamilton. “Terminator 5” is already scheduled for 2011.
• Also released today: “A Christmas Tale” (Criterion Collection); “Mental: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); “Ride Around the World” (IMAX adventure); “Saturday Night Live: The Complete 5th Season” (TV); and “Silent Night, Deadly Night” (3-disc horror thriller set).


As usual, the “2009 Christmas Book” catalogue from Dallas-based luxury retailer Neiman-Marcus includes some jaw-dropping lavish gift ideas including …
• Master Distiller Experience: Spend a day in Louisville KY making whiskey, step-by-step, and take home 2 bottles of the rarest. $7,500.
• Artisan Wine & Art Experience: Learn artisan winemaking, tour estates and art collections in California’s Napa Valley. Includes accommodations and private dinner party. $20,000.
• World’s Fastest Electric Motorcycle: The ‘Mission One’ is easily capable of 150 mph. Exclusive edition limited to 10, tricked out with custom wheels and special paint job. $73,000.
• 2010 Jaguar XJL Supercharged Neiman Marcus Edition: Limited edition of 50 in navy & ivory leather with matte wood accents. Includes a 5-piece set of matching Jaguar luggage. $105,000.
• Algonquin Round Table Experience: Exclusive dinner party at NYC’s legendary Algonquin Hotel alongside guests that include authors, actors, and other celebs. $200,000.
• His & Hers Gift Package: ICON A5 sport aircraft with custom trailer and pilot license training for 2. Features an amphibious hull & landing gear allowing takeoff from water or land. $250,000.

University of British Columbia researchers have discovered that sensations on the skin play a part in how humans hear speech. The study finds that inaudible puffs of air delivered alongside certain sounds influence what we think we are hearing. It is already well known that visual cues from a speaker’s face can enhance how a person hears what is being said. This new study suggests speakers also give off tactile clues. (A bit of spittle on your face, for instance, might suggest the speaker is a tad angry.)
– “Nature”


A new British company called The Icecreamists has developed a unique dessert … for adults only. ‘The Sex Pistol’ is an ice-cream cocktail packed with purportedly libido-boosting ingredients such as ginkgo biloba, arginine, and guarana. It’s served with a shot of absinthe. The so-called ‘vice cream’ is being offered in an Icecreamist boutique in Selfridges, a popular department store in London. (What, no decadent chocolate?)
– “Conceive Magazine”

A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 86% of men & 42% of women say they’ve experienced love at first sight.
• 78% of us own a flashlight that rarely works.
• 36% of pet owners share the bed with their pet daily.
• 21% of us admit to stealing stuff from work.
• 20% of us won’t be attending the office holiday party because we hate dressing up.
• 12% of men & 7% of women who work from home sometimes do it in the nude.

A Rutgers University study of the content of thousands of tweets sent by users has found that the majority, about 80%, are sent by what are called ‘meformers’ –Twitter users who send messages that totally revolve around themselves, updating others about their activities or sharing their personal thoughts and feelings. The other 20% are from ‘informers’ – people who are actually sharing information. Not surprisingly, informers tend to have larger social networks and be more interactive. (Like broadcasting, it should be all about the audience.)
– “Miami Herald”


How many times a day do you have negative thoughts about getting older? In a British experiment, 100 women aged 35-to-69 were asked to carry a clicker to measure the number of times they felt anxiety about their face, body, or appearance in general. Over a 7-day period, the women averaged 36 negative thoughts a day. The study was designed to determine if our looks-obsessed society creates ageism and pressure to stay youthful. (The answer: You bet your wrinkly old ass.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

The iconic single gloves Michael Jackson used to wear (like the one that sold for $300,000-plus at auction last week) were rhinestone-studded, modified golf gloves.
– “The Scotsman”


1935 [74] Woody Allen (Allen Stewart Konigsberg), Brooklyn NY, film director/writer/actor (“Vicky Cristina Barcelona”, “Match Point”)/2 Oscars (“Hannah & Her Sisters” 1987, “Annie Hall” 1978)

1945 [64] Bette Midler, Honolulu HI, pop singer (“Wind Beneath My Wings”)/movie actress (“The Stepford Wives”)

1970 [39] Sarah Silverman, Bedford NH, comedian/TV personality (“Sarah Silverman Program” 2007-08, “Saturday Night Live” 1993–94)/Jimmy Kimmel’s former girlfriend

1977 [32] Brad Delson, Agoura CA, rock guitarist (Linkin Park-“What I’ve Done”, “In The End”)


• “Advent Calendar Day”, the day many kids begin opening one compartment on their seasonal calendar each day through December 24th. Hey, is that chocolate in there?

• “Bifocals At the Monitor Day”, a day of lamentation for all those forced to tip their heads back open-mouthed in order to use a computer, thanks to their need for bifocal lenses. Gradually more and more of Canada’s 10 million Baby Boomers are suffering ‘presbyopia’ (Greek word for ‘aging eye’).

• “Let’s See What We Find In the Fridge Day”, a day to be brave and eat something from the back of the refrigerator. So what did you find?

• “Pie Day”, honoring the popular culinary creation as an ‘art form’.

• “St Eligius Day,” patron saint of farmers, miners, taxi drivers, veterinarians, jockeys and locksmiths.

• “World AIDS Day”, the 21st annual day of AIDS awareness and education, first declared by the UN’s World Health Organization in 1988. The UN estimates that 5 people worldwide die of AIDS every minute of every day. HIV has hit every corner of the globe, infecting more than 42 million men, women and children. The official symbol of “World AIDS Day” is the red ribbon. In some communities, the occasion is observed as “Day Without Art”.

2003 [06] World premiere of the 3rd and final “Lord Of the Rings” movie, “The Return Of the King”, in Wellington NZ

1971 [38] John & Yoko Lennon’s “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” is released


1891 [118] James Naismith, a YMCA trainer from Almonte ON, nails up 2 peach baskets on opposite ends of the gym at Springfield College in Massachusetts and instructs students to toss soccer balls into them, thus inventing the game of ‘basketball’

1913 [96] 1st ‘Drive-In Auto Service Station’ (Pittsburgh PA)

1929 [80] Game of ‘Bingo’ invented by Edwin Lowe (nowadays it’s a $5-billion-a-year charitable fundraiser)


[Wed] International Day for the Abolition of Slavery
[Wed] Special Education Day
[Wed] Grammy Nominations Concert (Los Angeles)
[Thurs] International Day of Disabled Persons
[Fri] Montréal Canadiens 100th Birthday
[Fri] “Armored”; “Brothers”; “Everybody’s Fine”; “Transylmania” open in movie theaters
[Sat] International Ninja Day
This Week Is … Cookie Cutter Week
This Month Is … World Aids Month


• Attempt to take the order-taker’s order (“Hi, may I take your order?”) before she gets a chance to take yours.
• Stand close to the speaker and yell your order.
• Repeat everything the order-taker says.
• Speak in a foreign language … make one up if you have to.
• Order confusing items, ie: “I’ll have a large orange Coke and a small medium fries, please.”
• Have a friend hide in the trunk. When you approach the pickup window, have him start yelling and banging his fists on the trunk.
• Walk through.


What single holiday season family tradition will you never give up?

Use ‘em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Aries – Go get ’em, tiger! They certainly aren’t coming to you.
• Taurus – Your’re too old for the tooth fairy and too old to be procrastinating about going to the dentist. Keep it up and you won’t be too young for dentures.
• Gemini – Sumo-size people will become increasingly attracted you as the week goes on. Avoid throwing sand over your shoulder as it will only encourage them.
• Cancer – Speak slowly and you will be heard. People will think you’re being a dick, but people will definitely understand you.
• Leo – Whoever said ‘change is good’ hasn’t had a look at that weird glob of sticky pennies in the cup holder of your car.
• Virgo – You get more attention than you bargained for when the Eyewitness News Team does a feature on sleazy-out-of-the-way-motels-where-cheating-lovers-meet. Film at 11.
• Libra – This week your destiny is like a fruit basket past its best before date … outwardly filled with promise but with the danger of a squashy one where you don’t expect it.
• Scorpio – Low energy level this week means you should make friends with a cross-country truck driver.
• Sagittarius – Parents or older relatives will try to meddle in your affairs. Since they have you in their will, just chill out.
• Capricorn – Be confident this week in terms of making decisions. They’ll be the wrong ones, of course, but make them with gusto!
• Aquarius – Plans for the future are put on hold today as a certain someone turns your head … and breaks 3 vertebrae.
• Pisces – Stay focused. You’re wasting way too many bullets!


Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

Today’s Question: A Stanford University study says men who are trying to conceive a child with their wives shouldn’t be doing THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Household chores, especially if they involve the vacuum or microwave.

Eat right, exercise daily, live clean, die anyway.

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