December 17, 2007

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Monday, December 17, 2007        Edition: #3678
Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

• THIS WEEK perpetually troubled Brit singer Amy Winehouse is facing police questioning after being implicated in the bribery plot for which her husband Blake Fielder-Civil has been jailed. The Grammy-nominated singer (“Back To Black”) has been ordered to present herself to detectives investigating the case.
– “News Of the World”
• Wed on the weekend: movie mogul Harvey Weinstein (“Sicko”, “Sin City”, “The Aviator”) and  his designer girlfriend Georgina Chapman in a star-studded ceremony in Westport CT. Guests attending are said to have included Renee Zellweger, Nicole Kidman, and director Anthony Minghella.
• “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell has angered publicists at FOX-TV for bailing on a contractual photo shoot. Publicity shots were first scheduled to be taken in LA but after Cowell insisted on staying in London, the network spent a reported 50-grand sending a group of photogs, publicists and crew to Britain. But Cowell was still a no-show … due to illness.
• Actress Katherine Heigl (“Grey’s Anatomy”, “Knocked Up”) says she hates her chubby legs so much she hasn’t worn shorts in years. The bride-to-be admits her gams are the first part of her body to put on weight and the last place to lose it.
• Executives behind the late-night TV shows have been meeting to find a way to put the shows back on-air without writers before the WGA strike is settled. The plan is apparently for all the late-night hosts to return early NEXT MONTH on the same night … because none of them wants to be the first to cross the picket line.
– “New York Post“
• Director Quentin Tarantino says he’s planning to help rescue Lindsay Lohan’s Hollywood career by casting her in his next movie. The filmmaker has become adept at resurrecting fallen stars’ careers after helping Pam Grier (“Jackie Brown“), John Travolta (“Pulp Fiction”), and David Carradine (“Kill Bill”).
– World Entertainment News Network
• That alleged sex scandal involving Eva Longoria’s NBA star husband Tony Parker and a French model just won’t go away. A US photo agency says it possesses 4 text messages that Alexandra Paressant says were sent to her from Parker’s phone, complete with time stamps as proof. Paressant claims they had a 2-month affair that only ended when she discovered … he was cheating with a 3rd woman.
– “The Sun”
• And Yoko Ono’s Christmas card has a picture of herself as a child on the front with the words: “I’m a witch, I’m a bitch, I don’t care what you say”. How festive.

• Carrie Underwood – Her “Carnival Ride” album has been simultaneously certified Gold, Platinum and Double Platinum by the RIAA for shipments of 2 million copies. Might be a hit.
• Celine Dion – Her Vegas show “A New Day” that wrapped SATURDAY night grossed a whopping $400 million during its 4-and-a-half-year, 717-show run. Among those catching the show’s final weekend at Caesar’s Palace … Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes.
• Kenny Chesney – He has one arm in a sling, recovering from a minor surgery to his shoulder that his rep says became necessary due to an ‘active lifestyle’. Sounds a bit murky, no?
• Led Zeppelin – Their album sales have increased by a whopping 500% since they announced their one-off comeback performance in SEPTEMBER. Still no word on a tour … but we’re betting greed will out.
• Michael Jackson – As well as participating in a 2008 tour with his brothers, the latest rumor has him touring for 3 months on his own NEXT YEAR … in order to stay solvent. Word has it he needs some earning leverage to refinance his $325 million in loans.
• The Police – Their tour has hit Rio de Janeiro where each band member had a personalized dressing room. The designer says Andy Summer’s room reflected opulence, Stewart Copeland opted for a ‘fun room’ all in dark red, and Sting’s was ‘spiritual’ with a large Buddha figure.
• Rush – They’re extending their “Snakes & Arrows World Tour” into 2008, kicking off a new string of concerts in over 40 cities beginning with San Juan, Puerto Rico in APRIL.
• Smashing Pumpkins – Word is they’re back in the studio recording some songs for a possible release the first of the year.
• Taylor Swift – She says the first thing she did when she woke up on her 18th birthday THURSDAY was register to vote … online … in her pajamas.

• Alan Jackson – He performs on a rerun of the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• “Clash of the Choirs” (NBC) – The 2-hour debut of a live competition that runs nightly through THURSDAY, with entertainers Blake Shelton, Kelly Rowland, Michael Bolton, Nick Lachey, and Patti LaBelle trying to create America’s greatest choir in their respective hometowns. The ensembles are voted off by viewers. The winning troupe chooses a prize to help their community. Nick Lachey promotes the new show THIS MORNING on “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV).
• OneRepublic – The “Apologize” band is on “The View” (ABC/CTV).
• Plain White T’s – The “Hey There Delilah” alt-rockers are on “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Sean Kingston – He performs on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).

Researchers say they have identified the chemical switch that controls the genetic mechanism regulating people’s internal body clocks. Although the process involves complex genes, the whole mechanism is controlled by a single amino acid, a building block of protein. It is hoped the discovery may lead to more effective drugs to treat jet lag, sleep disorders and related ailments. (Maybe [co-host] will even start showing up on time in the morning.)
– BBC News

A BS snapshot of who were are and what we do …
• 86% of men and 32% of women say that when they met their partner, it was love at first sight.
• 66% of children invent an ‘imaginary friend’ at some point in their lives.
• 61% of us say the person we least look forward to receiving a gift from is grandma, followed by in-laws and an ex-.
• 59% of women prefer ‘good guys’ over ‘bad boys’.
• 52% of us say we’ve sung “Singing in the Rain” while taking a shower.
• 15% of dog owners met their future spouse while walking the mutt.

A new list of the ‘Greenest Hypocrites of 2007′ centers out those who claim to promote environmentalism but only as long as it doesn’t affect their own energy-hogging lifestyles. At the top of the list is Al Gore, who uses about 20 times more energy than the average American and destroys a little piece of the atmosphere every time he jets around the world to give another inconvenient speech. Also on the list: Madonna, whose latest tour created 440 tons of carbon pollution in 4 months of flights between venues; Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who claims California will be a leader in the fight against global warming, but only as long as he can still drive a Hummer and fly in a private jet; and any rock star who played at the “Live Earth” concerts, which used up oodles of energy without changing much in return.
– Fox News

According to a new study, 1-in-7 people (14%) say they have been told a relationship is over via text message or email. While hiding behind technology might appear a cowardly way of splitting up, it’s at least a bit braver than the 4% who simply drop all communication with their former lovers without notice.
– Reuters

5. Rod Stewart … $70 million
4. Kenny Chesney … $71 million
3. Justin Timberlake … $127 million
2. Genesis …$129 million
1. The Police …$212 million
– “Billboard Boxscore”

• In 2004, labor unions in Austria demanded that retail stores limit Christmas carols to 1 hour a day, claiming that their incessant playing constituted ‘psychological terrorism’ to employees.
• Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
• Some 500 million online greetings have been sent worldwide in 2007, according to estimates from the Greeting Card Association.
• In Australia, where summer is about to kick in, decorative spray tan stencils in the shape of holly, bells, and Christmas trees are currently in high demand.


1946 [61] Eugene Levy, Hamilton ON, movie actor (“American Pie 1-3”, “Best in Show”)/former TV actor (‘Stan Shmenge’ and many other characters-“SCTV”)

1949 [58] Paul Rodgers, Middlesbrough UK, rock singer (now lead singer of Queen-‘Untitled 16th Studio Album’ due in 2008, ex-The Firm-“Radioactive”, ex-Bad Company-“Can’t Get Enough”, ex-Free-“All Right Now”)

1958 [49] Mike Mills, Orange County CA, rock bassist (REM-“Imitation Of Life”, “Losing My Religion”)

1966 [41] Duane Propes, Arlington TX, country bassist (Little Texas-“Life Goes On”, “My Love”)

1974 [33] Giovanni Ribisi, LA CA, movie actor (“The Flight of the Phoenix”, “Cold Mountain”)  UP NEXT: Director James Cameron’s sci-fi epic “Avatar” (2009).

1975 [32] Milla Jovovich, Kiev, Ukraine, movie actress (“Resident Evil”, “Zoolander”)

1979 [28] Ryan Key, Jacksonville FL, rock singer/guitarist (Yellowcard-“Lights & Sounds”, “Ocean Avenue”)

• “Audubon Christmas Bird Count” through JANUARY 3rd, when more than 40,000 North American bird watchers will conduct the annual numbering of our feathered friends. (“1,502 [bam!] … 1,501 …”)

• “First Flight Anniversary Celebration” will be held at Kill Devil Hills NC. A tradition since 1928, it honors the Wright Brothers’ flight at Kitty Hawk NC December 17th, 1903. 104 years ago at 10:35 am ET, the first sustained motorized aircraft flight travelled a total of 850 ft. Orville Wright was the pilot, winning the honors in a coin toss. Wilbur got to run alongside.

• “National Maple Syrup Day”, honoring the great Canadian taste treat that requires a second mortgage on your house to purchase. There are over 12,000 maple syrup producers in Canada, accounting for more than 85% of world production. The province of Québec is the world’s top-ranking maple syrup producer, accounting for more than 70% of all production.

• “National Maple Syrup Day”, the opportunity to enjoy and appreciate this delicious North American treat. Native Americans were the first to harvest and boil the sap of the maple tree into a thick syrup. Canada makes more than 80% of the world’s supply. The state of Vermont is the biggest US producer, followed by Maine, New York, and Ohio.

• “International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers”, the 5th annual when organizers are asking sex workers and their customers around-the-world to gather at 5 pm local time to honor prostitutes who have been killed while ‘on-the-job’.

• “Saturnalia” began, the week-long festival in ancient Rome honoring Saturn the planter god, which was marked with these lasting traditions: the exchange of gifts, illumination of lights, and the closing of businesses. Early Christian church leaders scheduled “Christmas” at this time of year partly to counteract this extremely popular but disapproved pagan celebration.

1959 [48] 1st movie to open simultaneously in major cities as “On the Beach” opens in 17 cities (movies now often open simultaneously worldwide)

1994 [13] Pop diva Celine Dion marries her manager Rene Angelil on the same day actress Heather Locklear marries Bon Jovi rocker Richie Sambora

1791 [216] A traffic regulation in NYC establishes the 1st ‘One Way Street’

1965 [42] ‘Largest-Ever Newspaper’, a Sunday edition of the “New York Times”, runs 946 pages but is modestly priced at just 50 cents (or about 5 cents a pound)

1991 [16] NBA’s ‘Most Lopsided Game’ as Cleveland beats Miami 148-80

[Tues] Bake Cookies Day
[Tues] International Migrants Day
[Thurs] International Human Solidarity Day
[Thurs] Eid Al-Adha (Islam)
[Fri] Forefathers Day
[Fri] Underdog Day
[Fri] Humbug Day
[Sat] Winter begins

Gluten-Free Baking Week / Halcyon Days / International Language Week / Tell Someone They’re Doing a Good Job Week


• Which of the following carols was originally written for Thanksgiving?
a. “Joy to the World”
b. “O Come All Ye Faithful”
c. “Jingle Bells” [CORRECT. It was composed in 1857 by pastor James Pierpoint for children celebrating Thanksgiving in his Boston Sunday School.]

• Which province donates a giant evergreen each year to the city of Boston MA?
a. Nova Scotia [CORRECT. Each year what is known as ‘The Boston Christmas Tree’ is donated to the people of Boston as a thank-you for their assistance after the 1917 Halifax Explosion.]
b. Quebec
c. British Columbia

• Who composed “The Nutcracker”?
a. Mozart
b. Tchaikovsky [CORRECT. Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky completed it in 1892.]
c. Rodgers & Hammerstein

• Might be the perfect holiday trip – a jaunt to Vegas for a tribute performer revue … by dwarves. The show features Mini-Britney, Mini-Elvis, Mini-Madonna, Mini-Tina Turner, Mini-Sonny & Cher, and … Mini-Vanilli. Huh?
• Bald cat? Not a problem, thanks to ‘Kitty Wigs’. Huh?

What’s orange and fizzy and comes down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Fanta Claus.

Today’s Question: The availability of THESE have increased by 30% in just the past 2 years.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Gift cards.

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

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