December 3, 2007

Monday, December 3, 2007        Edition: #3668
Sheet For Brains!

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• NBC-TV has laid off nearly 80 non-writing staffers from the “Tonight Show”, but Jay Leno has personally doled out a half-million in bonuses for the departed. Meanwhile, Conan O’Brien has promised to cover the payroll of about 75 non-striking “Late Night” staffers beginning THIS WEEK, and David Letterman’s World Wide Pants production company has taken over payroll duties for “Late Show” staffers for the rest of 2007. (We’re paying the writers on this show out of our own pockets too … anyone got change fore a 5?)
– “E! News”
• Jessica Sierra, the “American Idol 4” finalist who was arrested in APRIL for cocaine possession, has been arrested again. SATURDAY she was charged with disorderly intoxication, resisting arrest & violating conditions of her parole on earlier felony battery & possession charges and is being held without bond. Amusingly, she’s one of the quasi-celebrities that will appear in the upcoming VH1 reality series “Celebrity Rehab with Dr Drew” in early JANUARY. (Oh, so this is advance promotion then.)
– RealityBlurred.com
• Lindsay Lohan and her snowboarder boyfriend Riley Giles have split, according to reports. The couple met and fell in love – or at least lust – while both were seeking treatment at Utah’s Cirque Lodge rehab center THIS SUMMER. (They’ve discovered love’s not so exciting when you’re not doing it in a public stairwell.)
– Hollywood.com
• “Knocked Up” director Judd Apatow tops a new ranking of the “50 Smartest People in Hollywood”, followed by filmmaker Steven Spielberg, and “Titanic” director James Cameron. Rounding out the list, Ben Affleck comes in at #50. (The ranking for Jessica Simpson coincided with a new discovery of the highest prime number.)
– “Entertainment Weekly”
• And Reese Witherspoon tops the annual list of the highest-paid actresses in Hollywood, with a salary of $15 million-to-$20 million a movie. Angelina Jolie ranks #2 with similar earnings and Cameron Diaz is 3rd, with a reported salary of $15 million per film. (It only counts if you’re actually making movies, Cammie.)
– “Hollywood Reporter”

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• 50 Cent – His “Candy Shop” remains the best-selling ringtone of all-time with 2.4 million downloads.
• Garth Brooks – He’s donated his 1st gold record and other career memorabilia to the Smithsonian Institution’s National Museum of American History.
• Julianne Hough [‘huff’] – The professional dancer who’s been a 2-time winner on “Dancing With the Stars” (THIS YEAR with Helio Castroneves, last year with Apolo Anton Ohno), has signed with Universal Music Group Nashville and will be recording her first single THIS MONTH.
• Madonna – Her movie-making hubby Guy Ritchie says their kids (Lourdes, Rocco, and adopted son David) are only allowed 3 Christmas presents each. Like maybe an Xbox, a Mercedes, and Portugal.
• Queen – The classic rock Brit band has released its 1st new recording in a decade to mark “World AIDS Day”. The first studio collaboration with new frontman Paul Rodgers is “Say It’s Not True”.
NET: http://www.queenonline.com/sayitsnottrue

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Akon – He’s due to appear in a Fishkill NY courtroom to be arraigned on a misdemeanor charge of endangering the welfare of a minor and 2nd-degree harassment. The charges stem from an incident at a JUNE concert in which a concert-goer claims to have suffered a concussion when another fan was hurled from the stage on top of her.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – New shows begin airing again as it’s the first late-night talk show to go back into production since the writers strike started on NOVEMBER 5th.

LOO CLUES:
London’s Westminster borough has launched a new service that allows cellphone users to locate the nearest public washroom. In order to access the system known as the ‘SatLav’, users simply text in the word ‘toilet’ to a special number and they instantly get a map and directions to the nearest facilities along with the hours of operation. The system covers an 8.5-sq mi of central London and costs 25 pence (about 50 cents) per call of nature. (Proving there’s no end to ingenious ways of jacking up your phone bill.)
– “The Guardian”

SKINNY GENES:
Scientists believe they have found a way to reverse the aging process in skin, restoring thinning tissue to a thicker, more youthful state in just 2 weeks. The procedure works by manipulating a master gene that has an effect on the activity of other genes. However, the targeted gene also affects the immune system and its ability to control cancer, causing serious concerns. Dermatologist Howard Chung says you may end up with younger-looking skin, but at the expense of something else. (Like … your life.)
– “GQ”

THE LANGUAGE OF LIMBS:
Tips on using body language to create a good impression …
– Arms: Try not to cross your arms in front of others. It really does send a signal that you aren’t interested.
– Hands: Open gestures will make you appear open and honest. By pointing your finger, or moving your hands closer together, you draw emphasis to what you are saying. Used in moderation, hand gestures can make you seem enthusiastic. Overdone, they can make you appear nervous and suggest lack of control.
– Legs: Your legs tend to move around a lot more than normal when you’re nervous, stressed or being deceptive. So it’s best to keep them as still as possible.
– “Good Health & Medicine”

BS TRUE CRIME:
• It’s a case of beer burglars! Police in Dublin, Ireland are on the lookout for 400-plus kegs of beer stolen from the Guinness brewery in what is likely the country’s biggest-ever booze heist. A highjacked transport trailer has been found in the countryside … empty. The stolen suds would be sufficient to pour some 36,000 pints.
• He’s virtually guilty! In the first case of its kind, Dutch police have arrested a 17-year-old who stole $5,000-worth of virtual furniture from an online hotel. He was playing ‘Habbo Hotel’, an online game with an estimated 7 million members worldwide that allows players to create virtual characters. Using special credits paid for with real money, they rent hotel rooms and decorate them as they wish. The teen allegedly hacked into the accounts of other community members, stole their furniture and put it in his own online room. He’s charged with hacking and burglary.
• Busted for toting a toad! Kansas City cops have arrested a 21-year-old for possessing a Colorado River Toad with the intent of using it as a hallucinogen by licking its venom glands. The dangerous practice can make human’s ill and can actually kill pets. The tempted toad tonguer has been released on bail while the amphibian remains in custody in a police crime lab.
• It’s the naked truth! A German man appealing a conviction for flashing hasn’t help his cause by stripping in court. During an  adjournment for deliberations on his case, the 60-year-old removed his clothes and is now facing additional charges of indecent behavior. His original conviction was for running onto the field during a girls’ soccer match and striking a range of body builder poses in the buff.

OUT-MARKING:
In yet another instance of overseas outsourcing, millions of British students’ exam papers will be marked in India THIS SUMMER in a bid to cut costs. Examination boards will scan the papers electronically and then e-mail them to be graded on the other side of the world. Education officials say the system has already been tested successfully. The exam-markers will mostly be English speakers in India, although some will be located elsewhere. (Eventually, all of us who live in the West will have no function other than sitting on our duffs staring at a screen.)
– “News of the World”

FAT FIGURES FINISH INFLATING:
Adult obesity among Americans appears to have reached a limit after 25 years of annual increases in rates. While more than a third of adult Americans – about 72 million – still qualify as obese, the number is no longer rising, according to the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention. Experts attribute the slowdown to several factors, including growing public awareness of the dangers of weight gain and more realistic dieting targets. (And the fact that there’s no leftovers for the other two-thirds.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

TUTORING TOTS:
Researchers who examined data about close to 35,000 preschoolers in Britain, Canada, and the US have found that the best predictor of success in later school years is entering kindergarten with elementary math and reading skills. That perhaps explains why one of the fastest-growing markets for after-school tutors is preschoolers and kindergartners, whose parents are hoping that their kids learn to read before Grade 1. (What about the idea of actually sitting your kid on your lap and reading books? It’s free!)
– “Time Magazine”

ALL-TIME TOP CHRISTMAS MOVIES:
Looking to rent a movie to get in the spirit of the season? According to one ranking, here are the best all-time …
10. “Dr Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas!” (1966)
9. “Elf” (2003)
8. “White Christmas” (1954)
7. “Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer” (1964)
6. “A Walt Disney Christmas” (1982)
5. “A Charlie Brown Christmas” (1965)
4. “A Muppet Christmas Carol” (1992)
3. “Miracle on 34th Street” (1947)
2. “It’s A Wonderful Life” (1946)
1. “A Christmas Story” (1982)
– StarPulse News Blog

BS AMAZING FACT:
• The concept of the ‘ring finger’ has its roots in the ancient belief that a very delicate nerve runs from the 4th finger of the left hand to the heart.
• According to the “Journal of Consumer Research”, people come up with more (and better) ideas when they’re alone, as opposed to being in an idea-exchange type of meeting.
• Research by evolutionary biologists in Germany and Austria proves that people trust gossip more than their own observations about other people.

BS CHRONOMETER 12.03.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [59] Ozzy (John) Osbourne, Birmingham UK, rock singer (“I Don’t Wanna Stop”, ex-Black Sabbath-“Paranoid”)/reality TV star (“The Osbournes” 2002-05)/husband of Sharon/father of Kelly, Jack & Aimee  FACTOID: The Osbourne’s ‘garage sale’ auction over the weekend generated more than $800,000 for the Sharon Osbourne Colon Cancer Foundation.

1954 [53] Paul Gregg, Altus OK, country musician (Restless Heart-“When She Cries”, “Fast Movin’ Train”)

1955 [52] Steven Culp, La Jolla CA, TV actor (‘Rex Van De Kamp’ on “Desperate Housewives” since 2004)

1960 [47] Daryl Hannah, Chicago IL, movie actress (“Kill Bill”, “Splash”)

1960 [47] Julianne Moore, Fayetteville NC, movie actress (“The Hours”, “The Lost World: Jurassic Park”)

1968 [39] Brendan Fraser, Indianapolis IN, movie actor (“Crash”, “The Mummy”)  UP NEXT: “The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor” (2008)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Day of Disabled Persons”, sponsored by the United Nations.

• “Roof Over Your Head Day”, to draw attention to the plight of the homeless.

• “Stress-Free Holidays Month”, as declared by the group ‘Parenting Without Pressure’. It’s a reminder for parents to strive for more stress-free holidays for their families. The Website lists ideas on how to enjoy the holiday season without going out of your mind. Among them …
– Recognize the signs of stress and do something about it.
– Keep family expectations realistic.
– Give yourself permission to say ‘No.’
– Watch your diet.
– Exercise.
So what’s your suggestion? (How about ‘Pretend it’s January’?)
NET: http://www.parentingwithoutpressure.com/holidays/nsffhm.htm

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1964 [43] 1st broadcast of the “Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer” TV special (wow, that claymation looks almost real, doesn’t it?)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1621 [386] 1st ‘Telescope’ invented by Galileo (next day his neighbors get mini-blinds)

1921 [86] Toronto Argonauts defeat Edmonton Eskimos 23-0 in 1st-ever East-West “Grey Cup” game

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1984 [23] Oldest-known bridegroom (103-year-old Harry Stevens of Wisconsin)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Extraordinary Work Team Recognition Day
[Tues] Cookie Day
[Tues] Wear Brown Shoes Day
[Tues] “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” airs (CBS)
[Tues] Hanukkah begins
[Thurs] St Nicholas Day
[Thurs] Grammy Awards nominees announced
[Thurs] Christmas Lights Across Canada 2007
[Thurs] 2007 Christmas Pageant of Peace opening (Washington DC)

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Aplastic Anemia Awareness Week / Christmas Tree Week / Recipe Greetings For the Holidays Week

BULL’S BITS     

BIZARRE BS CHRISTMAS GIFTS:
These are real products currently on the market …
• ‘Twelve Shots of Christmas Shot-Glass Wreath’
• ‘Fake Winning Lottery Scratch-Off Tickets’
• ‘2008 Butt Crack Calendar’
• ‘The Hillary Nutcracker’
• ‘Carpool Kenny Fake Passenger for the Diamond Lane’
• ‘USB Humping Hound’
• ‘Avoid-the-Flu Hazmat Suit’
• ‘Oval Office Toilet Seat Cover’
• ‘Paparazzi Cameramen Action Figure Playset’
• ‘2008 Already Sucks Button’

BS WEB GOODIE:
About 10,000 Canada Post workers donate their time each year to answer Santa Claus letters, more than a million of then a year. The guy in the red suit’s address is: Santa Claus, North Pole, Canada H0H 0H0. And, of course, he’s also online …
NET: http://www.canadapost.ca/personal/dec/santa/writesanta

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Sometimes I like people; other times, they don’t agree with what I’m saying.

FIND THE BS:
2 of the following 3 statements are true; 1 is totally made up. But which one?
a) St Nicholas is the patron saint of, among others, pawnbrokers.
b) The first ‘mall Santa’ appeared in 1889. [BS]
c) In Russia, Santa Claus is known as ‘Grandfather Frost’.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: According to a study at Boston University, you can cut your risk of cold & flu by as much as 30% if you have THIS for breakfast.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Peanut butter.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It’s okay to have nothing to say … unless you’re talking.

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