December 16, 2016

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Friday, December 16, 2016 – Edition: #5874

Thanks a Sheetload for Choosing “BS”!

★ Jimmy Kimmel has revealed his fee for hosting the Oscars … and it ain’t a lot. The 49-year-old ABC-TV late night host is getting just $15,000 for the gig. Not much, when you consider the months of preparation and rehearsals required. He jokes that he was only chosen because the Academy’s preferred hosts weren’t available. Quote: ”They asked like 14 people and they all said no … and then there was me.” The Academy Awards ceremony at the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood CA is on February 26th.
– Bang Showbiz
★ Joe, Nick, and Kevin Jonas are set to star in a TV special documenting the launch of their family restaurant. The Jonas family have teamed up to create the half-hour Food Network special “Jonas Restaurant: Family Style”, which takes viewers behind-the-scenes at the opening of their comfort food family restaurant Nellie’s Southern Kitchen in Belmont NC back in June. The restaurant, named after the Jonas Bros’ great-grandmother Nellie, pays tribute to her Southern hospitality and also serves as a live music venue. The show airs December 26th.
★ And this week 32-year-old Brit royal Prince Harry & his 35-year-old girlfriend Meghan Markle have been photographed together for the first time, heading into London’s Apollo Theatre to watch the West End stage comedy “Peter Pan Goes Wrong”. “Suits” actress Markle reportedly flew into the UK from her base in Toronto ON early this week and has been staying at Nottingham Cottage on the grounds of London’s Kensington Palace. The couple made their first public outing together while shopping for a Christmas tree in Battersea Park.
– “The Sun”

• “Canada’s Walk of Fame Induction Gala” (Global) – Sunday the inductees include former NHL hockey player Darryl Sittler, actor/director Jason Priestley, fashion journalist Jeanne Beker, musician Corey Hart, filmmaker Deepa Mehta, and late actor Al Waxman. Pre-recorded in October. There are now 167 stars on the Walk of Fame in Toronto’s Entertainment District.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Tonight The Pretenders (“Alone”).
• “Harry” (syndicated) – Today Sarah McLachlan (“Wonderland”).
• “Hollywood Christmas Parade” (CW) – Tonight the 85th annual event features character balloons, celebrity-filled cars, and live musical performances.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Pentatonix (“A Pentatonix Christmas”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Black Lips (“Underneath the Rainbow”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV) – Tonight Shawn Mendes (“Illuminate”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Tonight The Hold Steady (“Teeth Dreams”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Tonight Jon Batiste (“Christmas With Jon Batiste”).
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Casey Affleck, who’s receiving Oscar buzz for his role in “Manchester By the Sea”; musical guest Chance the Rapper (“Coloring Book”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Warpaint (“Heads Up”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Today oldies singers Patti LaBelle, and Darlene Love.
• We Rock With Standing Rock (Los Angeles CA) – Sunday a benefit concert at The Fonda theater to help fight the Dakota Access Pipeline. The lineup includes TV On the Radio, Fiona Apple, Sky Ferreira, and more.

• Brad Paisley – He’s added tour dates to his “Life Amplified World Tour” for February, mainly in Canada. The new dates begin February 1st in Sault Ste Marie ON. Special guests are Chase Bryant and guitarist Lindsay Ell.
• Coldplay – Chris Martin gives 10% of all his earnings to charity. It’s something he learned from his mother, who kept back 1p of his 10p pocket money while he was growing up to teach him the importance of sharing.
• Fifth Harmony – This week Lauren Jauregui was busted for marijuana at Dulles Airport in Dallas TX, so the group had to perform at the Fun Pop Fun Festival in São Paulo, Brazil without her. She’s been cited for possession and released. Her attorney says she’ll be rejoining the group for future gigs.
• Miranda Lambert – Her dad Rick is a songwriter and even though he hasn’t officially written a song in almost a decade, songwriters just always have a way with words. Especially these: The weight of these wings. That was a line her dad said to her once at a show, and Lambert says it just stuck with her until she finally found a place for it … the title of her new album.
• Rush – A deluxe box set celebrating the 40th anniversary of their album “2112” is out today. It includes rarities, live, and unreleased tracks, along with a collection of covers recorded by Dave Grohl & Taylor Hawkins, Alice in Chains, Billy Talent and others.
• Rihanna – Her entire discography is being released today on vinyl in a new box set. All 8 of her albums are included across 15 vinyl records, alongside a 186 page hardcover book. Priced circa $350.

• “Collateral Beauty” ( PG-13 Drama ): Retreating from life after a tragedy, a man questions the universe by writing to ‘Love’, ‘Time’, and ‘Death’. Receiving unexpected answers, he begins to see how these things interlock and how even loss can reveal moments of meaning and beauty. Stars Will Smith, Edward Norton, Kate Winslet, Michael Peña.
• “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story” ( PG-13 Sc-Fi Adventure ): In this first standalone film in the franchise, ‘The Rebellion’ makes a risky move to steal the plans for the ‘Death Star’, setting up the epic saga to follow. Director Gareth Edwards. Stars Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, Alan Tudyk, Donnie Yen. Shot at Pinewood Studios in England. Are we looking at a record opening?
• Opening in limited release: “Fences” (Drama); “A Kind of Murder” (Thriller); “Neruda” (Biography); and “Solace” (Crime Drama).
• Expanding to more theaters: “Manchester By the Sea” (Drama).

Rumor has it the people planning Donald Trump’s inauguration in January are offering ambassadorships to anyone who can bring in an A-lister like Justin Timberlake or Katy Perry. Two talent bookers, at least one of whom has booked previous inaugurations, say they’ve been offered money, diplomatic posts, or unspecified posts in the Trump government if they can find a star to perform at the inauguration, which so far boasts a 16-year-old from “America’s Got Talent” as its ‘big name’. Both bookers have declined, but one says he knows of at least two others given similar offers. The Trump team, however, says this is all hogwash, quote: “First-class entertainers are eager to participate.” (BS translation: Scott Baio is gonna sing.)

Including all versions by various artists …
5. “The Christmas Song” (1946).
4. “Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!” (1945).
3. “Winter Wonderland” (1934).
2. “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” (1943).
1. “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” (1934). Cumulative data since 1966 shows this is the most played holiday song of the last 50 years. (We’re guessing this one is among the least played: “Bloody Unholy Christmas” by Bloodsucking Zombies from Outer Space. It’s real!)

Amazon delivery by drone has begun. The inaugural ‘Amazon Prime Air’ delivery actually took place last week, but has just been reported by the company. The long-anticipated air delivery took just 13 minutes from the time of order, well within the goal of 30 minutes or less. A customer in England ordered an Amazon Fire TV stick and a bag of popcorn, and a GPS-guided drone dropped it off in his backyard. The UK beta program, which allows for deliveries of certain items during daylight hours as long as weather permits, is so far serving just 2 customers, but will eventually expand to other areas where drone deliveries are permitted. (Seriously, a bag of popcorn? What a landmark occasion.)

People who regularly trim or remove their pubic hair run a greater risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) than those who do not.
– BBC News


1941 [75] Lesley Stahl, Lynn MA, extremely well-preserved (renovated?) TV journalist (“60 Minutes” since 1991)

1963 [53] Benjamin Bratt, San Francisco CA, TV actor (“Star” 2016, “Private Practice” 2011-13)/movie actor (“Doctor Strange”, “Miss Congeniality”) UP NEXT: Disney’s “Coco” 2017.

1975 [41] Benjamin Kowalewicz, Montréal QC, rock singer (Billy Talent-“Stand Up and Run”, “Rusted From the Rain”)

1981 [35] Krysten Ritter, Bloomsburg PA, TV actress (“Jessica Jones” since 2015, “Don’t Trust the B— in Apartment 23” 2012-13)/movie actress (“Veronica Mars”, “Big Eyes”)

1984 [32] Theo James, Oxford UK, movie actor (“The Divergent Series”)

1986 [30] Dave Rublin, Maplewood NJ, rock bassist-keyboardist (American Authors-“Best Day Of My Life”, “Believer”)

Pop-rock dummer Eddie Fisher (OneRepublic) is 43; TV actress Sarah Paulson (“The People v OJ Simpson: American Crime Story”) is 42; Movie actress Milla Jovovich (“Resident Evil”) is 41; Rock drummer Neil Sanderson (Three Days Grace) is 38; Indie rock singer Ben Goldwasser (MGMT) is 34; TV actress Shannon Woodward (“Westworld”) is 32; Rock guitarist Taylor York (Paramore) is 27; TV actor Graham Rogers (“Quantico”) is 26.

Geezer rocker Keith Richards (Rolling Stones) is 73; Filmmaker Steven Spielberg (“Bridge of Spies”) is 70; TV/movie actor Ray Liotta (“Shades of Blue”) is 61; Movie star Brad Pitt (“Allied”) is 53; Pop singer Sia (“Chandelier”) is 41; Country singer Randy Houser (“We Went”) is 41; TV/movie actress Katie Holmes (“The Kennedys”) is 38; Pop singer Christina Aguilera (“Say Something”) is 36; TV actress Ashley Benson (“Pretty Little Liars”) is 27.

• “Chocolate Covered Anything Day”. What unusual food enveloped in chocolate have you eaten? Chocolate-covered coffee beans … mmm!
• “Las Posadas” begins, the traditional 9-day Mexican Christmas celebration that includes breaking open a piñata. Similarly, “Simbang Gabi” in the Philippines runs today through January 6th, said to be the world’s longest Christmas celebration.
• “Stupid Toy Day”, a half-hearted salute to some of the bad inventions marketed for kids.
• “Ugly Christmas Sweater Day”, an annual event on the 3rd Friday of December celebrating the seasonal fad that’s now become so commercialized that thrift stores are charging top prices for them and other retailers are selling kits to make them.
• “Underdog Day”, the 40th annual on the 3rd Friday in December saluting all underdogs and unsung heroes, the ‘Number Twos’ who contribute so much to the ‘Number Ones’ that we always hear about: Sherlock Holmes’ Dr Watson, Captain Kirk’s Mr Spock, etc.

• “International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers”, the 13th annual when organizers ask sex workers and their customers around-the-world to gather at 5 pm local time to honor those who’ve been killed while on-the-job.
• “Maple Syrup Day”, the opportunity to enjoy and appreciate this delicious North American treat. Canada makes more than 80% of the world’s supply, most of it coming from the province of Québec. The state of Vermont is the biggest producer in the USA.

• “Answer the Telephone Like Buddy the Elf Day”. The idea is to answer: “Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?”, a quote that comes straight from the Will Ferrell movie. Dumb?
• “International Migrants Day”, a day of solidarity for migrant workers, on the anniversary of the UN’s 1990 adoption of the International Convention On the Protection Of the Rights of All Migrants Workers & Members of Their Families. Catchy name.
• “Roast Suckling Pig Day”. Here [co-host], put this apple in your mouth!”

2010 [06] “Larry King Live” ends after 25 years on CNN as the then-77-year-old host retires

2013 [03] “Heat” magazine reports that Miley Cyrus has insured her infamous tongue for $1 million

2013 [03] Brantley Gilbert releases his country chart-topper “Bottoms Up”

2011 [05] Swedish House Mafia plays the 1st-ever EDM event at NYC’s Madison Square Garden

1998 [18] Kevin Cole of Carlsbad NM sets a new world record by blowing 7 inches of spaghetti out of his nose, beating the previous record of 5 inches (mom must be so proud)

[Mon] 2nd International Congress on Love & Sex with Robots begins (University of London)
[Tues] “Tony Bennett Celebrates 90: The Best Is Yet to Come” (NBC)
[Tues] Sangria Day
[Wed] Winter arrives (5:44 am EST)
This Week Is … AIDS Awareness Month
This Month Is … Write a Business Plan Month


Real but really ridiculous gifts found online this year …
• ‘Grow Snow’ ($5.99) – Just fill the small dish with H2O and then add a little bit of the ‘Grow Snow Powder’. Turn your office desktop into a snow-covered wasteland!
• ‘Christmas Tree in Your Pocket’ ($24.99) – An ultra-thin, practically weightless tree. When you flip it open from it’s folded form it glows in green light. “Say, is that a tree in your pocket or …”
• ‘Gravy Candy Canes’ ($5.99) – If you love to cover all your meals in delicious gravy, these treats are for you. They’re gravy-flavored and come in brown & white stripes … of course.
• ‘Instant Ugly Sweater’ ($12.99) : This one is Hanukkah-themed. Transform any sweater into an ugly sweater using 6 assorted patches (Menorah, star, gift, ‘Happy Hanukah’, etc).
• ‘Clumsy Cook Turkey Mask’ ($41.99) – Makes it look like you’re wearing an entire raw turkey on your head (just like ‘Mr Bean’). Simply slide the latex turkey on your head and … voila!
• ‘Sandal Socks’ ($9.99) – Socks imprinted with sandal straps, soles, etc so you can look like you’re wearing sandals with socks … when you’re not.

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

What modern-day Christmas custom is borrowed from ancient Rome’s New Year celebration?
a. Putting up mistletoe. [CORRECT. It was part of “Saturnalia”, the week-long festival honoring Saturn the planter god. The event also initiated the lasting traditions of exchanging gifts, illuminating lights, and closing businesses.]
b. Decorating a tree.
c. Hanging stockings by the fireplace.

☎ If you could give one piece of advice to the whole world, what would it be?

Question: Even though THESE are considered kids’ stuff, 75% of adults say they have one.
Answer: Piggy banks.

You’ll only have your dog for part of your life. It will have you for it’s entire life.

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