Monday, December 19, 2016 – Edition: #5875
Can You Believe This Sheet?
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Felicity Jones has been paid significantly more for her role in “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story” than her castmates, and her contract also has an option for a sequel. The 33-year-old was reportedly able to negotiate a 7-figure up-front sum to play Rebel fighter ‘Jyn Erso’ after being nominated for a ‘Best Actress Oscar’ for her role in “The Theory of Everything”. Her fee is said to be considerably higher than her co-stars, including Diego Luna and Ben Mendehlsohn.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★ Blac Chyna & Rob Kardashian have split. The 28-year-old makeup artist has confirmed she is ”done” with the reclusive sock designer, just a month after the birth of their daughter Dream. On a new social media account Chyna accuses Rob of ”verbally abusing” her on a regular basis. She also accuses him of being “sad & pathetic” and claims he covers up his personal issues. Quote: “He’ll be an absolute lunatic and then cover it up with gifts!”
– Bang Showbiz
★ Julia Roberts is signed to star in her first-ever TV series. The actress will appear in an adaptation of Maria Semple’s novel “Today Will Be Different”, which was published in September. Semple is writing the mini-series herself, while Roberts’s company Red Om Films is producing it. Roberts has previously appeared on TV as a guest star, but this will be her first lead role in a series. “Today Will Be Different” tells the story of a woman who makes plans to have the best day of her life, but wakes up to find a strange new future unfolding.
– “New York Times”
★ And a terrifying reality show with no rules is reportedly coming to Russian TV. The soon-to-be-filmed “Game 2: Winter” drops 30 contestants into the wilds of Siberia to be filmed around-the-clock for 9 months, at the end of which one of them will nab a $1.6 million prize. Each contestant is told they could be maimed, even killed, as ‘everything is allowed’, according to a casting ad. Competitors are allowed to bring knives (but no guns), and will need to sign a waiver. Oh … and each contestant must pay $165,000-fee to “play”.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – Nick Cannon hosts as the judges and former contestants come together to celebrate the holidays.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – The Revivalists (“Men Amongst Mountains”).
• “Ellen” (syndicated/CTV2) – Britney Spears (“Glory”).
• “First Lady Michelle Obama Says Farewell to The White House – An Oprah Winfrey Special” (CBS) – Obama reflects on her years in Washington and talks about plans for the future.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – A Tribe Called Quest (“We Got It from Here… Thank You 4 Your Service”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Moving Units (“Neurotic Exotic”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Craig Finn (“Faith In the Future”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – OK Go (“Hungry Ghosts”).
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Guest co-host Monica (“Code Red”). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tony Bennett (“The Classic Christmas Album”).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Blake Shelton – During an appearance on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” he’s revealed that he enjoys taking girlfriend Gwen Stefani on “Bachelor”-style dates in his new private helicopter on his Oklahoma ranch.
• Bruce Springsteen – He says his wife helps him pull ”back into his life” when he is gripped by depression. The 67-year-old musician admits he’s been ”crushed” by the disease in the past, and credits Patti Scialfa with helping him get back to normal.
• David Bowie – It’s been confirmed that he read for the role of ‘Gandalf’ in “The Lord Of the Rings” (see This Day in Show Biz). The movie’s casting director, Amy Hubbard, says director Peter Jackson was interested in Bowie taking the role, but the music icon was far too busy.
• Ed Sheeran – Rumors in Britain suggest he’s set to headline next Summer’s massive Glastonbury 2017 festival line-up, alongside Radiohead and Foo Fighters.
• Kelly Clarkson – She staged her 2nd annual ‘Miracle on Broadway’ charity concert on Friday night at Nashville’s Bridgestone Arena. It featured performances by Kelsea Ballerini, RaeLynn, Reba McEntire and others. Proceeds go to 3 different charities.
• Matt Terry – The 2016 “X Factor” winner is Brit bookmakers’ favorite to have this year’s ‘Christmas #1’, always a source of great speculation in the UK. His new hit “Christmas Comes Around” was written by Ed Sheeran.
• One Direction – Liam Payne says he’s ”100 per cent certain” the boy-band will get back together in the future. They went on hiatus at the beginning of the year and speculation has been they’ve gone their separate ways permanently, but the 23-year-old says that’s not true.
Today the 2nd International Congress on Love & Sex With Robots begins in London. The UK is hosting the event after it was declared illegal by Malaysian authorities when originally scheduled to be held in Johor. A government spokesperson there issued a statement saying: “These people are trying to bring in an unnatural culture to this country and this is forbidden.” It is, however, an actual scientific research event and it’s being held over 2 days at Goldsmiths College, University of London. It brings together professionals and academics at the forefront of the developing technology. Topics to be covered include: ‘Robot Personalities’, ‘Teledildonics’, and ‘Intelligent Electronic Sex Hardware’. The first conference was held in Portugal in 2014. (Sexiest robot in the movies? Alicia Vikander in “Ex Machina”.)
– Daily Mail
THINGS TO SAY ‘YES’ TO IN 2017:
• Pay a pro to tackle a chore you hate.
• Take a 10-day vacation.
• Delete your entire inbox.
• Indulge in buying one luxury item.
• Master the art of mono-tasking.
• RSVP ‘no’ to an out-of-town wedding.
– Adapted from “Cosmopolitan”
It’s been a particularly gloomy year for celebrity deaths. During the first 3 months of 2016, twice as many notable people died compared to the same period in 2015, and 5 times as many as in 2012. The last 6 months of this year fall pretty much in line with the previous 4 or 5 years when it comes to celeb deaths. But across the whole year, there has been a 30% increase in pre-prepared obituaries used by the BBC as compared with last year. As of December 15th, 2016’s celebrity death toll stands at 42. Among them: Alan Thicke, Anton Yelchin, David Bowie, Gene Wilder, John Glenn, Leonard Cohen, Muhammad Ali, and Prince. (Who’s most missed?)
– BBC Entertainment & Arts
NO LONGER ‘BEST BEFORE’?
The US Department of Agriculture wants to do away with ‘Sell By’ and ‘Use By’ labels and replace them with a standardized ‘Best If Used By’ advisory. The government agency has already asked meat and dairy producers to phase out the old warnings. Why? Most foods are still safe to be eaten well after the date on the package. At best it’s a bit ambiguous what ‘shelf life’ really means. The new guidelines are part of the agency’s attempt to cut down on food waste. The USDA estimates about 30% of all food is thrown away by stores or consumers before being eaten. (What we need is a ‘Probably Still Good’ label.)
– “Food Safety News”
Does music make sex better? In a new poll by streaming service Deezer, music is found to be the lead aphrodisiac, selected by over 30%. Other highlights …
TOP POP SONGS TO GET IN THE MOOD:
1. “Let’s Get It On”, Marvin Gaye
2. “Love to Love You Baby”, Donna Summer
3. “Skin”, Rihanna
4. “Drunk in Love”, Beyoncé
5. “Sexy Back”, Justin Timberlake
SEXIEST COUNTRY SONGS:
1. “Must Be Doin’ Somethin’ Right”, Billy Currington
2. “Come a Little Closer”, Dierks Bentley
3. “Your Man”, Josh Turner
4. “Let’s Make Love”, Faith Hill & Tim McGraw
5. “Come to Bed”, Gretchen Wilson
BS AMAZING FACTS:
For the first time since 2013, the water system in London, England no longer has the highest traces of cocaine in it. The new #1? Antwerp, Belgium.
BS CHRONOMETER 12.19.16
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1967  Criss Angel (Christopher Sarantakos), NYC, Las Vegas illusionist (“Criss Angel: Believe”)
1972  Alyssa Milano, Brooklyn NY, TV actress (“My Name is Earl” 2007-08, “Charmed” 1998-2006)
1980  Jake Gyllenhaal, LA CA, movie actor (“Nightcrawler”, “Brokeback Mountain”)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Build a Snowman Day”. If the weather doesn’t cooperate, you can always make snowmen out of paper or marshmallows & toothpicks, or maybe … mashed potatoes & raisins?
• “Look For an Evergreen Day”, a day saluting people for whom only a fresh-cut real tree will do for Christmas. For them, the scent of fresh pine helps to capture the feeling of the holidays.
• “Oatmeal Muffin Day”, a day to enjoy the cholesterol-lowering benefit of oatmeal in your muffins … then slather on the butter.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2001  “The Fellowship Of the Ring”, the first movie based on JRR Tolkien’s “Lord Of the Rings” trilogy, opens in theaters in some 16 countries around-the-world
2014  A study on advice given by talk show host Dr Mehmet Oz shows that only about 46% of his suggestions are supported by legitimate medical evidence
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2005  Elton John turns down an offer close to $6 million to secure TV rights to his civil union to David Furnish
2014  Darlene Love sings “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” on “Late Show with David Letterman” for the final time (when she first performed it in 1986, it went so well that Dave made it a Christmas tradition, and every year she would come back to sing it)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1917  1st ‘National Hockey League’ games played (5,500 fans watch Montréal Canadiens beat Ottawa Senators 7-4, while 700 soldiers get in free to see Montréal Wanderers defeat Toronto Arenas 10-9)
2015  33 years after its release, Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” becomes the 1st album to sell more than 30 million copies
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] “Tony Bennett Celebrates 90: The Best is Yet to Come” (NBC)
[Tues] Sangria Day
[Wed] Winter arrives (5:44 am EST) in Northern Hemisphere
[Wed] Crossword Puzzle Day
[Wed] Homeless Persons Remembrance Day
This Week Is … Christmas Bird Count Week
This Month Is … Winter Squash Month
BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 23 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
I’LL BE CLONED FOR CHRISTMAS:
I’ll be cloned for Christmas,
There’ll be three of me;
One to work and one to shop,
And one just for parties.
Christmas Eve, I’m certain,
I won’t be alone;
I’ll be home for Christmas,
Or else I’ll send a clone.
– First published in “BS” 2001.
BS SIGNS YOU USED TO BE A TEACHER:
✓ Your BS meter is finely tuned.
✓ Every once in a while someone says they’re going to the washroom and you reply, “Sit down.”
✓ Every day around 3 pm you feel a sense of relief.
✓ You have an uncanny ability to know what’s going on behind you.
✓ When people are being rowdy you can silence them with just a look.
✓ You can hold your bladder for a long, long time.
✓ Your handwriting is on point.
✓ You still sort of worry about running into a parent or student when buying alcohol.
✓ You think twice before posting anything personal online.
✓ And nothing makes you feel as old as seeing how grown-up the kids you taught have become. (Or prouder.)
– First published in “BS” 2014.
BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ If you were a migrating bird, where would you fly for the Winter?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
We put the fun in phenomenal!
BS U-PICK HOLIDAY SEASON TRIVIA:
• In Dr Seuss’ famous story, “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”, what was the name of the Grinch’s dog?
a. Max [CORRECT]
• What’s the angel’s name in the classic Christmas movie “It’s a Wonderful Life”?
c. Clarence [CORRECT]
• What happens when a bell rings in “It’s a Wonderful Life”?
a. A wish is granted.
b. An angel gets its wings. [CORRECT]
c. The fries are done.
• Where did ‘Frosty the Snowman’ melt?
a. In a lake.
b. In a greenhouse. [CORRECT]
c. In a Turkish bath.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: About 1-in-5 adults have done THIS in the nude.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You were born too late to explore the planet, but too early to explore the stars.
Glenn Pitcher @ 98.1 The Hawk [WHWK] Binghamton NY; Chase Robinson @ The Fox [WFZX] Oxford AL; Deon Louw @ West Coast FM 107.7 [WCFM] Erongo, Namibia; and Tina Rollins @ Alabama 810 [WCKA] Jacksonville AL.