December 2, 2014

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Tuesday, December 2, 2014        Edition: #5351

Can You Believe This Sheet?

★ German TV show “Wetten Dass?” (“Wanna Bet That?”) is known for its starry guest list. Just in the past month it’s boasted a host of international stars like actors Hugh Grant, Jennifer Lawrence, Liam Hemsworth, and pop music stars One Direction. Grant brought along a personal friend for company; the Hollywood stars each had a make-up artist and a publicist alongside. And the boy-band? They arrived with an entourage of somewhere between 50-to-60 people. (Boys, you know who pays for an entourage that big, don’t you? You do!)
★ “People Magazine” has accidentally published its pre-written obituary for Kirk Douglas online. It’s not uncommon for publications to pre-write elaborate obituaries for celebrities in advance. Bloomberg News made a similar gaffe when it published news of Steve Jobs’ death in 2008 … 3 years before the Apple co-founder’s actually passing. Editors quickly posted a retraction and apology. But so far, there’s no mea culpa from “People”. Douglas turns 98 one week from today, December 9th. (Unless he has a heart attack after seeing another false obit.)
★ 30-year-old movie star Scarlett Johansson married her French journalist-boyfriend Romain Dauriac in a secret ceremony earlier this year, according to a new report. Word has it they wed shortly after she gave birth to their daughter Rose in September. An insider says the couple exchanged vows at ‘a remote location in the US’. Apparently they kept the wedding secret because they both wanted privacy. Johansson and Dauriac began dating in 2012 and became engaged in August last year. (Further proof you can fly under the radar if you wanna.)
– “New York Post”
★ And veteran actor Christopher Walken says he’ll be facing one of the toughest challenges of his career when he portrays ‘Captain Hook’ on NBC-TV’s “Peter Pan Live!” this Thursday. He admits the short preparation time for the show has left him terrified. Quote: “We rehearsed this very much like you would for a musical, except in a musical you do your first preview for a couple of weeks and then you open. This is not like that. Frankly it is intimidating!” (Wouldn’t it be cool if he lost his poo and went all Walken live on TV?)
– “Daily Express”

• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central) – Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga (“Cheek to Cheek”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Gavin DeGraw (“Finest Hour”).
• “Daily Show With Jon Stewart” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Bleachers (“Strange Desire”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Walk the Moon (“Talking is Hard”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Coves (“Soft Friday”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Ella Henderson (“Chapter One”). Rerun.
• “Queen Latifah” (syndicated) – Janelle Monáe (“The Electric Lady”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Rae Sremmurd (“SremmLife”, out January 6th).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Jennifer Hudson (“JHUD”).
• Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show (London) – Taylor Swift returns to the runway to headline the annual December event for the 2nd year-in-a-row. The lingerie show is taping at Earls Court Exhibition Centre for airing December 9th on CBS-TV. Ariana Grande is also participating as a performer/model. Other musicians on tap include Ed Sheeran, and Hozier.
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Artists face elimination; Season 2 contestant RaeLynn performs.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Mary J Blige (“The London Sessions”).

• AC/DC – The new album “Rock Or Bust” is out today. Founding guitarist Malcolm Young is not involved due to health troubles. Stevie Young, nephew of Malcolm and Angus, plays rhythm guitar and will accompany the band on tour.
• Carrie Underwood – The country star has revealed she’s taking a break from her vegan diet while she’s pregnant with her first child. She and her NHL player-hubby Mike Fisher (Nashville Predators) are set to welcome their son in the Spring.
• Hozier – 6′-4″ Irish singer-songwriter Andrew Hozier-Byrne is taking the world by storm with his soulful social critiques. But he’s not letting the fame give him a swelled head, telling “Daily Telegraph”: “I’m a gangly introvert.”
• Mary J Blige – She crossed the Atlantic to collaborate with some of the UK’s brightest musical talents for her new studio album, “The London Sessions”, out today. Sam Smith co-wrote the lead single “Therapy”.
• Pharrell Williams – Chanel’s chief designer Karl Lagerfeld has teamed up with him to make a new fashion focused film which screens during the designer’s Paris-Salzburg pre-fall collection today. The movie, set in the designer’s Parisian studio, also stars Cara Delevingne and 6-year-old model Hudson Kroenig.
• The Pixies – To celebrate the 25th anniversary of their album “Doolittle”, the deluxe, 3-disc package “Doolittle 25: B-Sides, Peel Sessions & Demos” is being released today. It brings together the original album with reams of extra material. Also comes in a double-vinyl edition.
• Sam Smith – In 2012 he was cleaning toilets in London bar. Two years later he has a multi-platinum album and his live gigs sell out in minutes. Quote: “‘I used to yearn to fall in love. My fans have filled that hole.”
• The Who – After 50 years the classic rockers have kicked off their final tour (we’ve heard that before), with a concert at Glasgow’s Scottish Exhibition & Conference Centre. “The Who Hits 50!” tour moves on to Leeds UK tonight.

Out today on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “As Above, So Below” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): A subterranean horror movie that follows a team of explorers which ventures into the catacombs beneath the streets of Paris, France. There they uncover a dark secret that lies within this city of the dead. Stars Perdita Weeks, Ben Feldman, Edwin Hodge.
• “Cantinflas” ( PG Bio-Drama ): The previously untold story of Mexico’s greatest and most beloved comedy film star of all-time, from his humble origins on the small stage to the bright lights of Hollywood. Stars Oscar Jaenada, Michael Imperioli, Ilse Salas. Mexico’s official submission for ‘Best Foreign Language Film’ in the upcoming 87th Academy Awards in 2015.
• “Dawn Of the Planet Of the Apes” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Action ): In this reboot of the series that began in 1968 (8 films and counting), a nation of genetically-evolved apes led by ‘Caesar’ is threatened by a band of human survivors of a devastating virus. Stars Andy Serkis, Gary Oldman, Jason Clarke, Keri Russell. An as-yet-untitled sequel is already planned for 2016.
• “The Hundred-Foot Journey” ( PG Drama ): Helen Mirren stars as the proprietress of a celebrated French restaurant who clashes with an Indian family when they open their own eatery nearby, until undeniable chemistry causes her to take the young chef under her wing. Co-stars Om Puri, Manish Dayal. Produced by Oprah Winfrey and Steven Spielberg.
• “One Direction: ‘Where We Are’ Live from San Siro Stadium” ( NR Music Concert ): Recorded in Milan, Italy in June, this live concert featured all of 1D’s biggest hits to date. Also included: a 15-minute interview and exclusive behind-the-scenes footage.
• Also released today: “A Charlie Brown Christmas” (Family Animation); “The Congress” (Sci-Fi Animation); “Gunsmoke: The 11th Season” (Vintage TV); “Happy Days: The 6th Season” (Vintage TV); “InRealLife” (Documentary); “Justified: The Complete 5th Season” (TV); “Robin Williams Remembered – A Pioneers Of Television Special” (TV Doc); and “The Simpsons Season 17” (TV).

After 3 years of research, a French team of engineers has developed an artificial tree that can generate electricity using the wind. The 8-m (26-ft) prototype ‘Wind Tree’ uses turbines with tiny blades housed inside plastic ‘leaves’ that turn to create power even in light breezes. Developers claim the tree is less obtrusive and more viable than wind turbines. The gizmos work regardless of the wind direction and have the added advantage of being completely silent. The Parisian start-up company will begin marketing the ‘Wind Tree’ in 2015. One problem might be the cost … about $37,000 per tree. (Wow, it’ll pay for itself in just 132 years!)
– @MailOnline

Here’s a surefire argument starter, a new ranking of this year’s musical cream of the crop …
5. Taylor Swift’s “1989”.
4. Jack White’s “Lazaretto”.
3. Prince & 3rdeyegirl’s “Plectrumelectrum”.
2. Leonard Cohen’s “Popular Problems”.
1. Ed Sheeran’s “X”.

New Jersey author and mom Sonia Leal has penned a new book to help parents respond to their children’s questions about Santa Claus. “How to Talk to Your Child About Santa Claus” is part self-help book, part memoir. It’s not about debunking the myth; it’s about sharing the tradition and the truth. Among its recommendations …
• Parents shouldn’t use Santa Claus as a threat of any kind … as in ‘naughty and nice’ lists.
• It’s just a little story that kids enjoy. Let them believe as long as possible.
• Parents should have fun with the story of Santa, but avoid abusing the centuries-old story of the real St Nicholas.
• When it finally is time to tackle the question “Is Santa real?”, use the moment as an opportunity to bond and discuss larger concepts such as honesty, generosity, and tradition.
• Most of all, keep it light … it’s supposed to be a fun thing.
– @NYDailynews

It’s estimated only half of patients take their medications as prescribed.
– McMaster University


1968 [46] Lucy Liu, Queens NY, TV actress (‘Joan Watson’ on “Elementary” since 2012, “Dirty Sexy Money” 2008-09, “Allie McBeal” 1998-2002)/movie actress (“Kung Fu Panda”, “Kill Bill”)

1968 [46] Nate Mendel, Richmond WA, rock bassist (Foo Fighters-“The Pretender”, “Best of You”)

1978 [36] Nelly Furtado, Victoria BC, pop singer (“Say It Right”, “Promiscuous”)

1978 [36] Chris Wolstenholme, Rotherham UK, rock bassist-vocalist (Muse-“Madness”, “Uprising”)

1981 [33] Britney Spears, Kentwood LA, pop singer (“Baby, One More Time”)/Las Vegas entertainer

1983 [31] Aaron Rodgers, Chico CA, NFL quarterback (Green Bay Packers)/2011 Super Bowl

• “Fritters Day”, honoring the yummy treat made by frying up small cakes of dough in butter or oil. (Yum! Really good for you, too!)

• “Giving Tuesday”, a simple idea in which charities, families, businesses, community centers, and students worldwide come together for one common purpose: to celebrate generosity and to give.

• “International Day For the Abolition of Slavery”, a United Nations observance begun in 1949.

• “Mutt Day”, saluting all dogs that are cross-breeds, no-breeds, and all-breeds.

• “Special Education Day”, initiated in 1975 to promote access to education for all children, including those with disabilities.

• “United Arab Emirates National Day”, celebrating the 43rd anniversary of independence of the federation of 7 Persian Gulf states from Britain (1971).

2004 [10] Brian Williams becomes anchor of “NBC Nightly News”, succeeding Tom Brokaw who’d helmed the flagship newscast for 20 years

2009 [05] After a flurry of reports about his extramarital relationships, golf super-star Tiger Woods issues an apology for what he calls ‘transgressions’

1949 [65] Gene Autry’s “Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer” debuts (Montgomery Ward department store ad man Robert L May came up with a “Red-Nosed Reindeer” promotion; the name ‘Rudolph’ was chosen later)

1991 [23] Canada and Poland become the 1st nations to recognize the independence of Ukraine from the Soviet Union

1985 [29] Highest-rated “ABC Monday Night Football” telecast ever as Miami Dolphins beat Chicago Bears 38-24, snapping the Bears’ 12-game winning streak (Chicago’s only loss of the season, including the Super Bowl)

[Wed] International Day of Persons With Disabilities
[Wed] Rockefeller Center Tree Lighting (NYC)
[Thurs] World Wildlife Conservation Day
[Fri] Bathtub Party Day
[Fri] Faux Fur Friday
This Week Is … Cookie Cutter Week
This Month Is … Write a Business Plan Month


Use ’em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Aries – Money is literally no object for you this week as you lose all of yours. But in good news, you will find some chewing gum you thought you’d eaten.
• Taurus – Curvy, gorgeous, lascivious. These will be the latest 3 ‘Words of the Day’ that land in your inbox.
• Gemini – Laugh and the world laughs at you. Or at least, it’ll seem like that this week.
• Cancer – You may hear odds of ‘3-to-1’ ringing in your ears today when you make your move on a romantic interest. However, when you come around after a swift bash to the nose, you’ll realize it was actually someone counting you out boxing-style … ‘3-2-1’.
• Leo – Like the old saying goes, a man with 3 fish has enough in his heart to help him build a picnic chair.
• Virgo – The future will find you in good spirits. Specifically, the premium scotch the boss is hoping to hoard at the office Christmas party.
• Libra – You’re a mentor to the world! You’ll inspire thousands to go out and do something with their lives in order not to wind up being as pathetic and useless as you are.
• Scorpio – The good news is, your computer has not been hacked by nefarious criminals. The bad news is, your cat has licked your keyboard until it shorted out.
• Sagittarius – Someday you’ll look back on all this and laugh … you sick, demented, inhuman monster.
• Capricorn – Congratulations! You are everything you always hoped you would never be.
• Aquarius – Try to ensure that you go out tonight wearing underwear with really strong elastic.
• Pisces – Your marital status may change this week, either due to some incredibly quick romantic involvement or possibly just a typo on your car insurance quote.

☎ How much sleep do you absolutely need to have to function during the workweek?

Want a career that sounds more exciting? Try this ‘Silicon Valley Job Title Generator’ …

Remember ‘I’ before ‘E’, except in Budweiser.

Question: In a hygiene poll, half of women say they wish their partner did THIS more often.
Answer: Brushed their teeth.

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

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