December 5, 2014

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Friday, December 5, 2014        Edition: #5354

Why Not Get Sheet-Faced Every Morning?

★ LAPD is said to be considering an investigation into sexual assault claims against Bill Cosby that allegedly occurred at the Playboy Mansion … even though the incident is way past the statute of limitations. This week Judy Huth sued Cosby, claiming he got her drunk and then sexually assaulted her at Hugh Hefner’s pad when she was 15-years-old back in 1974. Law enforcement sources say they have an obligation to investigate all crimes when a victim comes forward, because one allegation can lead to others. That said, we’re told Huth has NOT filed a criminal complaint with the LAPD.
★ 40-year-old “Tonight Show” (NBC) host Jimmy Fallon & his film producer-wife Nancy Juvonen have welcomed another daughter they’ve named ‘Frances Cole Fallon’. Their new addition joins 1-year-old big sister Winnie Rose. Both babes were born via surrogate. Fallon wed Juvonen, Drew Barrymore’s producing partner, in 2007. The baby news emerges just hours after Fallon was named “Entertainment Weekly” magazine’s ‘Entertainer Of the Year’.
★ And it’s being called ‘The Downton Abbey Effect’. There’s been a dramatic increase in the popularity of baby names from the 1920s as thousands of parents are naming their children after characters on the hit TV series. When the show began in 2010, many of these monikers were dwindling into obscurity. But now ‘Violet’ has re-entered the Top 100 names for girls, and  ‘Cora’, ‘Edith’, ‘Elsie’, and ‘Sybil’ are also moving on up. One expert is unsurprised, noting that parents have always been interested in trends set by TV, movies, and celebs. So are you gonna call your son ‘Mr Carson’?

• “CBS This Morning” (CBS) – Grammy nominations in 4 major categories are announced this morning at 8 am EST. The 57th Grammy Awards ceremony is coming up February 8th.
• “Eaten Alive” (Discovery) – Sunday a special showing naturalist & wildlife filmmaker Paul Rosolie being eaten alive by a massive anaconda. He says he survived the stunt by wearing a carbon-fiber snake-proof suit. Animal rights advocates are not thrilled.
• “Greatest Holiday Commercials Countdown” (CW) – Saturday a listing of the world’s all-time top 12.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight The Melvins (“Hold It In”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Tonight Foo Fighters w/Rick Nielsen (“Sonic Highways”). Rerun.
• “New Now Next Awards” (Logo) – Sunday in Miami FL the most promising new stars are awarded ‘Best New Musician (Male)’; ‘Best New Musician (Female)’; and ‘Best New Music Group’, based on fan voting. Performers include Charli XCX, Jennifer Hudson, Jessie J, Joe Jonas, and Meghan Trainor. A repeat of the event airs on MTV December 12th.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host James Franco (“The Interview”, opening December 25th); musical guest Nicki Minaj (“The Pinkprint”, out December 15th).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tonight Melissa Etheridge (“This is ME”).
• “A Tribute to Bruce Springsteen” (PBS) – Tonight ‘The Boss’ is the guest of honor at the pre-recorded “MusiCares Person Of the Year” benefit. Among those paying tribute: Alabama Shakes, Elton John, Jim James (My Morning Jacket), Mumford & Sons, and Neil Young.
• “A Very Grammy Christmas” (CBS) – Tonight LL Cool J hosts a 1-hour special that includes holiday songs and current hits by Ariana Grande, Maroon 5, Mary J Blige, Pharrell Williams, Sam Smith, and Tim McGraw. Also, Grammy nominations for ‘Album of the Year’ are revealed.

• Brooks & Dunn – They’re back! They’ve signed up for a Las Vegas residency alongside Reba McEntire. “Reba, Brooks & Dunn: Together in Vegas,” opens June 24th at Caesar’s Palace.
• Garth Brooks – His “World Tour” rolls on with new dates announced for Pittsburgh PA in the new year. He’ll play 1 show February 5th, and 2 on February 7th.
• Counting Crows – Last night in Peoria IL, they kicked off another leg of their “Somewhere Under Wonderland” tour that runs through December 16th in Davenport IA. Opening act is Twin Forks (a new folk/rock band started by Chris Carrabba of Dashboard Confessional fame).
• Nico & Vinz – They were among the entertainers at yesterday’s 92nd annual National Christmas Tree Lighting event in President’s Park beside the White House in Washington DC. Acting couple Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson emceed the show.
• Radiohead – It’s official, they’ve begun recording their 9th studio album. A photo has been tweeted of Thom Yorke with Johnny Greenwood in the studio working on modular synthesizers, which suggests they’re returning to their roots of electronic-infused rock.
• Taylor Swift – “1989” is #1 on the newly revised ‘Billboard 200’. The renovated chart now factors in on-demand streaming and digital track sales as well as physical sales. She’s followed by a capella act Pentatonix at #2 with “That’s Christmas to Me”.
• U2 – Despite Bono’s recent accident, they’re planning the “Innocence + Experience Tour”, starting May 14th in Vancouver BC. The arena trek features at least a pair of shows at each stop. (Will the concert be like the album and just show up where you are without asking?)
• Wilco – Starting tonight, they’re staging a 6-night residency at the Riviera Theatre in their hometown of Chicago IL that runs through December 12th. Each performance features a different set-list comprising songs from every era of the band’s career.

• “The Pyramid” ( R-Rated Horror ): An archaeological team attempts to unlock the secrets of a lost pyramid only to find themselves hunted by an insidious creature. Stars Ashley Hinshaw, James Buckley, Denis O’Hare, and Christa Nicola. Directed by Gregory Levasseur (“Maniac”, “High Tension”).
• “Wild” ( R-Rated Biographical Drama ): Based on Cheryl Strayed’s best-seller, Reese Witherspoon stars in this true-life story of a woman’s 1,100-mile solo hike along the Pacific Crest Trail, undertaken as a way to recover from the death of her mother. Premiered to rave reviews at this year’s Toronto International Film Festival. Co-stars Laura Dern, Gaby Hoffmann.
• Opening in limited release: “Comet” (Sci-Fi Comedy); “Life Partners” (Romantic Comedy); “Pioneer” (Thriller); “She’s Beautiful When She’s Angry” (Documentary); and “Zero Motivation” (Dramedy).

The Dutch are welcoming another holiday season with all the usual traditions: shopping, Christmas trees, special treats … and a renewed controversy over ‘Zwarte Piet’ (‘Black Pete’). The black-faced assistant who hands out presents for a white St Nicholas (the original inspiration for Santa Claus) is again at the center of a debate about racism in a country that takes pride in its reputation for tolerance and progressive thinking. Critics say showcasing a figure in black-face is just plain wrong; advocates say the tradition is harmless and goes back centuries. Clashes over ‘Black Pete’ are expected to climax this weekend on the Dutch holiday ‘Sinterklaas’ (St Nicholas Day), when gifts are exchanged much like on Christmas. (‘Black Pete’ has nothing to do with slavery. Origins trace back to when North African Moors invaded Spain.)

The most-searched terms on Yahoo! this year …
1. Ebola.
2. Videogame “Minecraft”.
3. Pop star Ariana Grande.
4. Movie actress Jennifer Lawrence.
5. “Big Bang Theory” star Kaley Cuoco.
6. Famous-for-nothing Kim Kardashian.
7. “Frozen”, the movie.
8. Pop singer Miley Cyrus.
9. iPhone 6.
10. Actress Jennifer Aniston.
– Yahoo News!

Good news for beard fans! New dating website ‘Bristlr’ matches men with facial hair to those who love some facial fuzz . It only launched 6 weeks ago and already has tens-of-thousands of users in Britain, Canada, the Netherlands, and the USA. Interestingly, early stats show the ratio of people with beards to those looking for beards is almost exactly 50:50. In the last few years, the beard has had a renaissance. No longer the preserve of tramps and lumberjacks, it’s now seen on all types of men who want to add a bit of edge to their look. (Not to mention women employed by circuses.)

Silent letters in words such as ‘knife’ and ‘psychic’ are called aphthongs.
– “Quite Interesting”


1965 [49] John Rzeznik, Buffalo NY, rock singer-guitarist (Goo Goo Dolls-“Give A Little Bit”, “Iris”)

1967 [47] Gary Allan (Herzberg), La Mirada CA, country singer (“Every Storm Runs Out of Rain”, “Nothing On But the Radio”)

1982 [32] Keri Hilson, Decatur GA, R&B singer-songwriter (“Pretty Girl Rock”, f/Kanye West & Ne-Yo–”Knock You Down”)

Comedian Steven Wright is 59; Retired rock guitarist Peter Buck (REM) is 58; Punk drummer David Lovering (The Pixies) is 53; Filmmaker Judd Apatow  (“Knocked Up”) is 47.

Folk singer Tom Waits (“Bad as Me”) is 65; Movie actor Jeffrey Wright (“Hunger Games: Mockingjay”) is 49; Rock drummer Dominic Howard (Muse) is 37; Pop singer Sara Bareilles (“Love Song”) is 35.

• “Bathtub Party Day”, encouraging a luxurious long, hot bath to develop inner peace. Almost everyone nowadays takes showers, so here’s a chance to recall a luxury from days gone by.
• “Communicate With Your Baby Day”. Experts say the best way to do that is to look directly at them when you talk, and to use gestures.
• “International Day Of the Ninja”, when you’re encouraged to dress like a ninja and run wild in the streets.
• “Faux Fur Friday”, an excuse to wear your furriest synthetic outfits and accessories for an enjoyable day. (But isn’t it cruel to kill cute baby acrylics for their fur?)

• “Bartenders Appreciation Day”, an annual event saluting not only their skills in drink-making, but also in conversation, listening, joking, and being a shoulder to cry on.
• “Cold Moon”, the Full Moon of December that is known variously as the “Oak Moon”, “Birth Moon”, “Moon Before Yule”, or “Long Night Moon”.
• “Day of Remembrance & Action on Violence Against Women”, established in 1991 by Canada’s parliament on the anniversary of the 1989 ‘Montréal Massacre’ of 14 women at l’École Polytechnique.
• “Gazpacho Day”, in celebration of the spicy but cold Spanish soup.
• “International Bad Hair Day”, a day to flaunt it if you’ve got it!
• “Miners Day”, saluting the ‘men of the deeps’ who toil away daily underground.
• “St Nicholas Day”, honoring the 4th-century bishop who died December 6, 342 AD and from whom the traditions of Santa Claus and exchanging gifts were derived. Many European kids awake today to find candy or oranges in their shoes, or if they’ve been bad … a lump of coal.

• “Cotton Candy Day”, celebrating the sweet, sugary taste-treat that melts in your mouth. It was invented in 1897 as ‘Fairy Floss’, then renamed in 1920. In Greece, Israel, and India it is often referred to as ‘Old Woman’s Hair’.
• “Worldwide Candle Lighting Day”, the 18th annual when we’re encouraged to light candles at 7 pm local time to honor children worldwide who have died at any age from any cause.
• “World Choral Day”, celebrated on the 2nd Sunday in December for the past 22 years, when thousands of choirs join in the celebration at concerts, festivals, sing-alongs, and other events.

2013 [01] Civil rights advocate, former South African president, and Nobel Prize laureate Nelson Mandela dies at age 95

1974 [40] “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” series finalé airs on BBC-TV

1984 [30] Eddie Murphy’s first post “Saturday Night Live” movie, “Beverly Hills Cop”, opens in theaters

2006 [08] The little black dress worn by Audrey Hepburn in the 1961 film “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” is sold at auction in London for $800,000, 7 times the pre-auction estimate

2008 [06] iTunes Music Store signs up its 300-millionth user

[Mon] Green Monday
[Mon] Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day
[Tues] “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” airs (CBS)
[Tues] Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductees announced
[Wed] Nobel Prize Day
This Week Is … Older Driver Safety Awareness Week
This Month Is … Safe Toys & Gifts Month


✓ “I don’t know who broke the photocopier.” (BS translation: “Ha ha ha, it was me!”)
✓ “Sorry, no I haven’t seen your stapler.” (BS translation: “I love my new stapler.”)
✓ “Oh, I must have been out when your birthday card was passed around.” (BS translation: “I can’t bring myself to write something even vaguely nice about you.”)
✓ “Sorry I’m late, the commute was a nightmare.” (BS translation: “I’m hungover.”)
✓ “I taking a sick day. I think I’m coming down with the flu.” (BS translation: “I’m so hungover I think I might die.”)
✓ “I really appreciate your input.” (BS translation: “I want you to shut up now.”)
✓ “Sorry, I don’t think I got that email.” (BS translation: “I actually printed it out, just so I could set fire to it.”)
✓ “I have a rule to never date co-workers.” (BS translation: “I’ve been having an affair with Sam from accounting for 6 months.”)
✓ “I’m really looking forward to tackling the challenges that lie ahead.” (BS translation: “I’m already looking for a new job.”)
– Adapted from

☎ What’s the craziest thing you’ve heard of that got someone fired?

Going clubbing with limited cash? A website called ‘Smuggle Your Booze’ offers a range of products designed to help you conceal alcohol where it’s restricted. Among them …
✓ Fake Sunscreen Bottles (who would ever suspect … when it’s -10 degrees?)
✓ Booby Bags (look like gel inserts, only the gel is booze)
✓ Hand Sanitizer Combo Pack (two … two .. two bottles in one!)
✓ Fake Tampon Shot-Holder (bouncers won’t even touch these)

Whenever you have a ‘discussion’ with your spouse, always remember to get the last 2 words in: “Yes dear.”

Question: The typical woman has more of THESE at age 29 than at any other time in her life.
Answer: Friends.

A word to the wise isn’t necessary. It’s the stupid ones who need the advice.

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