BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Today Oscar-winning New Zealand filmmaker Peter Jackson gets a star on Hollywood Walk of Fame. The Kiwi director who brought “The Lord Of the Rings” and “The Hobbit” to the bigscreen is being honored just in time to hype the opening of “The Hobbit: The Battle Of the Five Armies” on December 17th. Jackson’s star is located outside the Dolby Theatre, the venue for the annual Academy Awards.
★ Magazine publisher Conde Nast has delayed moving into its new NYC offices at One World Trade Center in lower Manhattan. Why? Apparently the spanking new headquarters is full of rodents. And here’s how the critters are thought to have gotten in: “Cosmopolitan” editor Anna Wintour reportedly made so many demands regarding the layout – including the removal of walls left, right, and center – that the rats have inadvertently been given the run of the place.
★ And 24-year-old Victoria’s Secret model Jourdan Dunn says she indulges in her favorite foods and doesn’t work out, claiming her everyday lifestyle keeps her in shape. And she also reveals her secret device for perfecting a hairdo …. her toothbrush. Quote: “It sounds random but it’s not just good for brushing teeth; I use mine to brush through my eyebrows and tame flyaway hairs around my face too.”
– “Look Magazine”
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Great Christmas Light Fight” (ABC) – 8 families decorate their homes for the holidays in hope of winning a $50,000 prize. (So they can afford their electricity bill.)
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Jackson Browne (“Standing In the Breach”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Bobby Shmurda (“Shmurda She Wrote”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Shannon & The Clams (“Dreams In the Rat House”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Bob Mould (“Beauty & Ruin”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Iconic R&B singer Al Green.
• “Marilyn Denis Show” (CTV/CTV2) – Dallas Smith (“Lifted”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Carrie Underwood (“Greatest Hits: Decade #1”, out tomorrow).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – The top 5 artists perform in hope of earning audience votes.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Chris Brown – He announced his longstanding relationship with Karrueche Tran is over during his gig at Power 106’s Cali Christmas concert in LA on Friday night by cleverly declaring, “F— that b—!” Tran’s tweeted version of events suggest that Brown is the dumpee, not the dumper.
• Demi Lovato – The 22-year-old has revealed she used to wear a jacket onstage even in hot weather because she was embarrassed by the size of her arms … and she only weighed 105 lbs. She says she now has a renewed sense of self-confidence about her onstage appearance.
• Jay Z & Beyoncé – The King & Queen of NYC are the front-runners in a bidding war on a 23,000-sq-ft palace in Beverly Hills CA that’s listed at $85 million. There are said to be 4 offers on the property and the Carters aren’t the only celebs involved. A deal’s expected by year-end.
• Lana Del Rey – The 29-year-old singer-songwriter tells “Galore” mag she’s already working on her 3rd album, despite releasing the last one less than 6 months ago.
• Lil Wayne – He’s finally spoken out in public about his battle with Cash Money Records over his new album, “The Carter V”, telling concert-goers his days at the label are numbered. Quote: “It’s a f—ed up situation.” His management and the label continue to say all is well.
• Miley Cyrus – Patrick Schwarzenegger is apparently smitten with her but insiders say his divorced parents, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, don’t approve of Miley’s wild ways and are concerned the 22-year-old singer is a bad influence.
• Shania Twain – She’s agreed to donate wardrobe items from the now defunct ‘Shania Twain Centre’ in her hometown of Timmins ON to the city for display at the airport, convention center, and wherever else their presence is requested. The shrine to the city’s greatest star has been torn down as it was reportedly losing $300,000 a year.
• Tim McGraw – He’s atop the ‘Billboard Country Songs’ chart for this week with “Shotgun Rider”.
• U2 – The Edge has revealed the worst of Bono’s injuries from his recent cycling accident may be the scapula in his upper back because it cannot be fixed through surgery. Quote: “He has got to be very still and not move around ’til that’s really healed.”
THE UNFAIR REASON YOU MIGHT MAKE LESS MONEY:
Left-handed? Then you’re likely to earn less: ‘Lefties’ are not as financially successful as right-handed colleagues, according to a new Harvard University study. It’s found that the 1-in-8 people who are lefties earn 12% less over their lifetime. Reasons for the disparity are unclear but economists suggests people who are left-handed may be at a fundamental cognitive disadvantage. Data suggests left-handed children are more likely to have learning issues. The researchers claim their study seems to dispel the myth that lefties are more likely to be ‘gifted’. (Our theory: Lefties are more likely to be creative. And making a lot of moolah in the creative arts … well, good luck.)
– “Daily Mail”
THE EXERCISE THAT PREDICTS YOUR DEATH:
Physicians in Brazil have developed a test to measure flexibility quickly. And it’s so simple, no equipment is needed. All you do is attempt to sit on the floor cross-legged and then stand up … without any support. Participants score a maximum of 10 points, with 1 point deducted for each occurrence of using a hand for stability, and a half-point docked for wobbling. The docs claim that overall fitness, as assessed by this simple test, can be used to predict death in 50-to-80-year-olds. Struggling to complete with the ‘sitting-rising test’ means you’re 5 times more likely to die early. And patients who score fewer than 8 points are twice as likely to die within the next 6 years. (Studio experiment! Beware … it ain’t easy.)
INSANELY DUMB CELEB QUOTES YOU WON’T BELIEVE WERE SPOKEN:
✗ “The word ‘genius’ isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” (Former NFLer Joe Theismann.)
✗ “I’ve got taste. It’s inbred in me.” (Sorta-actor David Hasselhoff.)
✗ “Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” (Off-key singer Mariah Carey.)
✗ “I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist.” (Sorta-actress Tara Reid.)
✗ “I guess I’m gonna fade into Bolivian.” (Former boxing champ Mike Tyson.)
✗ “We are going to turn this team around 360 degrees.” (Milwaukee Bucks head coach Jason Kidd.)
✗ “If everybody in the world dropped out of school we would have a much more intelligent society. (Celebrity offspring Jaden Smith.)
✗ “First my mother was Spanish. Then she became a Jehovah’s Witness.” (Geri Halliwell, the former ‘Ginger Spice’.)
✗ “I’m not good with time. Like, if I ask you the time and you say ‘A quarter to 2’ I wouldn’t know. Why can’t you just say 2:30?” (Former “Jersey Shore” star Snookie Polizzi.)
✗ “I won’t go into a big spiel about reincarnation, but the first time I was in the Gucci store in Chicago was the closest I’ve ever felt to home.” (Self-obsessed Kanye West.)
– Adapted from List25.com
WHEN IT’S COOL NOT TO GIVE:
Financial advisers say there are times when it’s OK to feel like ‘Scrooge’ and not contribute to a charity. For instance …
1. You don’t have a personal connection. You can decline a request by saying you’re dedicating your resources to a cause closer to your heart … and then doing so.
2. You can’t afford it. When you’re lacking solid financial footing, you may wish to consider donating your time to charity instead of money.
3. Your life changes, ie: job loss, a career move, or retirement. While it’s admirable to give, charity needs to start at home. You may need to delay giving during transition periods.
4. You’re not sure about the charity’s financials. If you’ve never heard of a charity, it’s wise not to give as it could be a scam.
(And we’d add – when you’re shaken down by a cashier in a store. It’s unfair for a retailer to put customers on the spot asking for a charity donation … particularly in front of other customers.)
– “Wall Street Journal”
BS AMAZING FACTS:
• It’s quicker by about 3 hours to read “The Hobbit” than to watch Peter Jackson’s movie trilogy.
– BBC News
• ISIS fighters in Syria have a weakness for Red Bull and Pringles.
– “Financial Times”
BS CHRONOMETER 12.08.14
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947  Gregg Allman, Nashville TN, rock & blues singer/songwriter/guitarist/keyboardist (Allman Bros Band-“Good Clean Fun”, “Ramblin’ Man”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1995)
1957  Phil Collen, London UK, classic rock guitarist (Def Leppard-“Let’s Get Rocked”, “Pour Some Sugar on Me”)
1964  Teri Hatcher, Sunnyvale CA, TV actress (“Desperate Housewives” 2004-12)/movie actress (“Tomorrow Never Dies”).
1966  Sinead O’Connor, Glenageary, Ireland, singer-songwriter (“Band Aid 30-“Do They Know It’s Christmas?”, “Nothing Compares 2 U”)
1974  Nick Zinner, Sharon MA, indie rock guitarist (Yeah Yeah Yeahs-“Heads Will Roll”, “Gold Lion”)
1976  Dominic Monaghan, Berlin, Germany, TV actor (“Wild Things with Dominic Monaghan” since 2012, “Lost” 2004-10)/movie actor (“Wolverine”, “Lord Of the Rings” trilogy)
1978  Ian Somerhalder, Covington LA, TV actor (‘Damon Salvatore’ on “The Vampire Diaries” since 2009, “Lost” 2004-10)
1979  Ingrid Michaelson, NYC, indie singer-songwriter (“Girls Chase Boys”, “The Way I Am”)
1981  Philip Rivers, Decatur AL, NFL QB (San Diego Chargers since 2004)
1982  Nicki Minaj, Saint James, Trinidad & Tobago, hip-hop artist (“Anaconda”, w/Jessie J & Ariana Grande-“Bang Bang”)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bodhi Day”, the Buddhist holiday commemorating ‘Buddha’s Enlightenment’.
• “Brownie Day”, celebrating the chewy chocolate in a pan that you just can’t quit eating.
• “Green Monday”, usually the 2nd Monday of December, an online retail term similar to “Cyber Monday”, as coined by eBay to describe its best sales day in December. “Market Watch” ranks “Green Monday” as the 3rd-biggest online shopping day of the year.
• “Pretend to Be a Time Traveller Day”, an annual event created in 2007 by the Koala Wallop online community that combines performance art, humor, and plain old fun. The basic premise is to pretend to be someone from the past or future who’s somehow ended up in the present.
• “Take It In the Ear Day”, a day to learn how to accept criticism graciously.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1959  For the first time, a movie features ‘Aromarama’, in which smells are piped in through ceiling vents to accompany the onscreen action of “Behind the Great Wall”
2014 MOVIES YOU WOULDN’T WANT TO EXPERIENCE IN AROMARAMA:
✗ “Dawn Of the Planet Of the Apes”
✗ “Penguins of Madagascar”
✗ “Sex Tape”
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1980  John Lennon is shot and killed by Mark David Chapman on the sidewalk outside his NYC home at 11:23 pm
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1996  1st time a 2nd-year expansion team makes the NFL playoffs as Carolina Panthers beat San Francisco 30-24 (Jacksonville later becomes 2nd team to accomplish this feat)
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1940  Record ‘Lopsided Professional Football Game’ as Chicago Bears slaughter NY Giants 73-0 in NFL championship game.
1990  ‘World’s Largest Pizza’ measures 122 feet, 8 inches in diameter, a total of 11,816 square feet (Hypermarket in Norwood, South Africa).
COMING UP . . .
[Tues] “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” airs (CBS)
[Tues] Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductees announced
[Tues] International Anti-Corruption Day
[Wed] Human Rights Day
[Wed] Nobel Prize Day
[Thurs] International Mountain Day
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Computer Science Education Week / Hand Washing Awareness Week / Human Rights Week / Recipe Greetings For the Holidays Week
BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 21 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS SIGNS YOU ENJOYED THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY A LITTLE TOO MUCH:
• You woke up in court … with your pants on backwards.
• A champagne cork became lodged in your trachea … 6 times.
• You made the front page of the paper for interrupting the church choir practice next door … with your interpretative dancing … while naked.
• The boss was really impressed with your cannonball into the punchbowl.
• Your daily commute now entails a bus ride to the employment office.
– First published in “BS” 1999.
BS SIGNS YOU’VE BEEN IN THE CORPORATE WORLD TOO LONG:
• You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a ‘Performance Review’.
• You decide to re-org your family into a ‘team-based organization’.
• You write executive summaries on your love letters.
• You talk to the waiter about ‘process flow’ when dinner arrives late.
• You regularly use the term ‘value-added’ without falling down laughing.
• Your Christmas cards have bullet points.
– First published in “BS” 2011.
BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s your favorite peppermint-flavored treat?
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Which is more likely to predict somebody might be looking for an extramarital affair?
a. They make more than $90,000 per year.
b. Their age ends with a ‘9’. [CORRECT]
c. They’ve been married 9 years.
– “The Guardian”
BS RANDOM JOKE:
It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: The typical office worker does THIS every 2½ hours on-the-job.
Answer: Gets a cup of coffee.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
There is a very fine line between ‘hobby’ and ‘mental illness’.
WELCOME BS NEWBIES:
TJ Boggs @ News/Talk 1110 [WBT] Charlotte NC; Steve Zushin @ KICKS 103.3 [WKVS] Lenoir NC; Mike Rogers @ K955 [KITX] Hugo OK; Stu Berketo @ WAVE.fm, Oshawa ON; Paul Hughes @ AFN [Armed Forces Network] Bremerhaven, Germany; Jared Durham @ 105.5 FM [WYTM] Fayetteville TN; and Harrison Jennings @ 88.3 CJIQ FM Conestoga College, Kitchener ON.