December 9, 2014

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Tuesday, December 9, 2014       Edition: #5356

It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

★ Actor Tom Cruise’s daughter is working as a hairstylist in London. 21-year-old Isabella Cruise, adopted daughter of Cruise and ex-wife Nicole Kidman, has completed a course at the Vidal Sassoon Academy and is now working at its prestigious London salon, where many of her co-workers are completely unaware of her famous lineage. Isabella opted to stay with her dad following her parents’ 2001 divorce and – like her father – became interested in Scientology. But according to an insider she’s decided to follow a different path since moving to England, and has now developed a wider circle of friends.
– “The Sun”
★ In the midst of rumors claiming she’s engaged to Good Charlotte’s Benji Madden, 42-year-old actress Cameron Diaz has once again been probed about tying the knot someday. Surprisingly, she’s responded: “I’ve never said never to anything.” The relationship between the 42-year-old actress and 35-year-old rocker first became public knowledge back in May and she’s since been spotted wearing a sparkly ring. But as yet there hasn’t been any confirmation that they’re in fact engaged.
★ 43-year-old actor Mark Wahlberg wants to join a Los Angeles-area police force as a reservist but he’s not eligible. Why? In 1988 he was convicted of beating up 2 men, leaving one partially blind. That makes him a felon, and felons can’t handle guns and are generally frowned upon in cop shops. So Wahlberg has filed legal docs in Boston with the Massachusetts Parole Board, asking it to expunge his felony assault conviction. It’s thought Wahlberg became interested in police work as a result of researching some of his movie roles, including “The Other Guys”, “Max Payne”, and “The Departed”.

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Tune-Yards (“Nikki Nack”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Weezer (“Everything Will Be Alright In the End”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) –  Bob Mould (“Beauty & Ruin”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – LaLa Brooks (former member of the girl-group The Crystals-“Da Doo Ron Ron”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Sara Evans (“At Christmas”).
• “Queen Latifah” (syndicated) – Kellie Pickler (“The Woman I Am”). Rerun.
• Rock & Roll Hall of Fame – Today is the final day for fan-voting to select 5 finalists from the nominees for 2015. To be eligible for nomination, an artist must have released a first single or album at least 25 years prior; currently that means 1989. The induction ceremony takes place April 18, 2015 in Cleveland OH.
• “Sons of Anarchy” (FX/Super Channel) – In the series finalé after 7 seasons, the fate of lead character ‘Jax Teller’ (Charlie Hunnam) is finally revealed.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – ILoveMakonnen (“Tuesday”); Steven Van Zandt (E Street Band).
• “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” (CBS) – Taylor Swift returns to the runway to headline the annual December lingerie event for the 2nd year-in-a-row. Other performers include Ariana Grande, Ed Sheeran, and Hozier. A total of 40 ‘Angels’ model during the show, which was pre-taped last week at Earls Court Exhibition Centre in London.
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Voting determines which 3 singers from the remaining 5 advance to the finals.

• Carrie Underwood – Today she releases her first collection of hits, “Greatest Hits: Decade #1”, which draws from her 19 #1 country singles to date, while also featuring new material.
• Coldplay – They’re already prepping a new album just 7 months after the release of “Ghost Stories”. And Chris Martin tells BBC Radio 1 the new project, to be titled “A Head Full of Dreams”, will be, quote: “The final thing we’re doing.”
• Green Day – They’ve announced that guitarist Jason White, who joined the band full-time in 2012, has been diagnosed with a treatable form of tonsil cancer. They’re asking fans to send “love and positive healing vibes”.
• J Cole – His 3rd album, “2014 Forest Hills Drive”, is out today. He’s announced he’s releasing no singles, just the album. The title is the address of his childhood home in Fayetteville NC.
• K Michelle – Her sophomore album, “Anybody Wanna Buy a Heart”, hits stores today. The video for the 1st single, “Love ‘Em All”, debuted on her VH1 reality series, “K Michelle: My Life”.
• Lady Gaga – She’s handed control of her $24-million mansion in Malibu CA to her father, Joseph Germanotta. His full power-of-attorney over the 6-acre estate allows him to lease it, take out loans against it, or even put it up for sale … as long as it is beneficial to his daughter.
• REM – 11 of their singles from 1983-88 have been gathered together for today’s release of a new boxed set of 7-inch vinyl singles. It’s appropriately titled “7IN – 83-88”.
• Smashing Pumpkins – Today’s release of “Monuments To an Elegy”, featuring Tommy Lee on drums, marks the group’s 8th studio album. And their 9th, “Day For Night”, is already announced for 2015.
• U2 – Today they release 11 short films inspired by their new album, “Songs Of Innocence”. The “Films Of Innocence” series is available on iTunes. Thankfully they aren’t spamming users automatically.

Out today on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “Dolphin Tale 2” ( PG Family Drama ): The same team of people who saved ‘Winter’ the dolphin’s life in the original story are reassembled in the wake of her surrogate mother’s passing. Their goal is to find her a companion so she can remain at the Clearwater Marine Hospital. Stars Morgan Freeman, Ashley Judd, Nathan Gamble, Harry Connick Jr.
• “Guardians Of the Galaxy” ( PG-13 Sci-fi Action Adventure ): In this standalone Marvel movie, an American pilot named ‘Peter Quill’ (Chris Pratt) finds himself the object of a manhunt in the far reaches of space after stealing an orb coveted by the villainous ‘Ronan’ (Lee Pace). Co-stars Bradley Cooper, Vin Diesel, and Zoe Saldana.
• “When the Game Stands Tall” ( PG Sports Drama ): The real-life story of legendary football coach Bob Ladouceur, who took the De La Salle Spartans of Concord, California from obscurity to a 151-game winning streak (1992-2004) that shattered all records for high school football. Stars Jim Caviezel, Alexander Ludwig, Michael Chiklis, Laura Dern.
• Also released today: “Doctor Who: The Complete 8th Series” (TV); “Exodus: The Real Story” (History Channel Documentary); “Hart to Hart: Season 3” (Vintage TV); “The Jeffersons: The Complete Series – The Deee-luxe Edition” (Vintage TV); “Jingle Bell Rocks!” (Musical Documentary); “Mister Ed: The Complete Series” (Vintage TV Compilation); “Mork & Mindy: The Complete Series” (Vintage TV Compilation); and “Under the Dome: Season 2” (TV).

‘Marsala’ has been picked by the Pantone Color Institute as ‘2015 Color Of the Year’. The wine-colored hue succeeds 2014’s ‘Radiant Orchid’ – a luridly bright purplish-pink tinge – as Pantone’s premier pigment, which heavily influences everything from car colors to fashion to home decorating. The rich, reddish-brown shade is said to be inspired by Sicilian wine and is described as ‘hardy, robust, satisfying, and fulfilling’. The retro color with an earthy feel is expected to be huge in fashion, cosmetics, home appliances, leather goods, and luxury items like upscale wristwatches. (Your newly remodeled kitchen? Now totally out-of-date.)
– @DailyNews

Would you work in an office that banned toilet paper? A new paperless office in The Netherlands built for Noordwijk-based technology firm Decos is devoid of all paper such as letters, files, and – yes – even rolls of bathroom tissue. Instead, employees use apps, digital signatures, and what are called ‘shower toilets’. The building, whose futuristic design is inspired by structures in “Star Wars”, is powered by energy from wind farms, and the company’s fleet of vehicles is all electric. If this technology firm’s office is anything to go by, workplaces of the future will be much cleaner and greener. (The paperless office has been talked about for decades … have you ever actually seen one?)
– @MailOnline

It’s often said the eyes are the windows to the soul. But your eyebrows aren’t just an aesthetic, they’re also a potent testament to your character, according to face-reading and feng shui expert Priya Sher. Her interpretations about what a woman’s brows might mean …
✓ Curved Eyebrows – A creative person.
✓ Straight Eyebrows – A confident and assertive person.
✓ Angled Eyebrows – Sensitive and private; can also be stubborn.
✓ Soft & Shiny Eyebrows – Reflects an individual with high sexual energy.
✓ Thin Eyebrows – A feminine, gentle personality.
✓ High Eyebrows – These women are dreamers.
✓ Low Eyebrows – They look too carefully at everything and often don’t have time for others.
✓ High Right Brow – If a woman’s right eyebrow is higher, she is controlling.
The most important thing, according to Sher, is that eyebrows be in proportion to your eyes. If they are not, aspects of your life may be unbalanced. (No, no, no! The most important thing is … don’t pluck them all off.)
– Condensed from

A new report from the animal-friendly Humane Research Council reveals that there are actually very few vegetarians and vegans amongst us and 5-out-of-6 (84%) return to meat at some point. The meaty stats come from the first comprehensive study of current and former vegetarians and vegans, and includes a Harris Interactive poll on the topic. It reveals that only 2% of North Americans don’t consume meat at all; and 88% have never been vegetarians or vegans. The animal rights world is not pleased with the numbers as they’re obviously bad news for animals.  (Seems the wheatgrass isn’t always greener on the other side of the food fence.)
– “Medical Daily”

A new study shows men are subconsciously suspicious of blue-colored food, leading them to eat far less of it, if not avoid it altogether. In experiments it’s been discovered that eating food under a blue light makes it appear unpleasant to men and prevents them from overeating. The University of Arkansas research team thinks men’s rejection of blue food may be evolutionary since naturally occurring blue-colored foods are rare, which may have led to a subconscious suspicion about their safety. Interestingly, women are unaffected by the color, since they rely more on their sense of smell to judge the appeal of food. (A blue lightbulb … simplest weight-loss plan ever?)
– “Pacific Standard”

Polar bears use a nose-to-nose greeting when they’re asking another bear for something, like food. If a bear uses proper manners, they’ll be allowed to share.


1916 [98] Kirk Douglas (Issur Danielovitch), Amsterdam NY, movie actor (“Spartacus”, “Gunfight At the OK Corral”)/father of actor Michael Douglas

1934 [80] (Dame) Judi Dench, York UK, movie actress (“Skyfall”, Oscar-“Shakespeare in Love”)

1953 [61] John Malkovich, Christopher IL, movie actor (“RED” movies, “Dangerous Liaisons”)

1957 [57] Donny Osmond, Ogden UT, pop singer/Vegas entertainer (“Donny & Marie” at the Flamingo since 2008)  BS FACTOID: He & his sister are currently appearing onstage in “Donny & Marie – Christmas in Toronto” through December 21st.

1968 [46] Brian Bell, Knoxville TN, rock guitarist (Weezer-“Pork & Beans”, “Beverly Hills”)

1972 [42] Tre Cool (Frank Edwin Wright III), Frankfurt, Germany, rock drummer (Green Day-“Know Your Enemy”, “Boulevard Of Broken Dreams”)

1980 [34] Simon Helberg, LA CA, TV actor (‘Howard Wolowitz’ on “The Big Bang Theory” since 2007)

• “Christmas Card Day”, commemorating the 1st commercial Christmas card, commissioned by Sir Henry Cole in London, England in 1843, which featured an illustration by John Callcott Horsley. His cheery little card depicting a family with glasses raised in a Christmas toast was widely denounced at the time as promoting drunkenness.

• “Homemade Gift Day”. If you plan to give homemade gifts this year you need to start right away. Almost everyone is happy to get homemade cookies or candy; vest sweaters, not so much.

• “International Anti-Corruption Day”, to raise awareness of corruption and the role of the UN Convention Against Corruption in combating and preventing it.

• “Pastry Day”, a fun day created to encourage you to make, and of course eat, your favorite pastries. Initiated by the ‘Danish’?

2008 [06] NBC-TV announces “Tonight Show” host Jay Leno is moving to primetime (as it turns out … ever so briefly)

1992 [22] After more than 30 years, Rolling Stones bassist Bill Wyman quits the band

1979 [35] The eradication of the smallpox virus is certified, making smallpox the 1st and to-date only human disease driven to extinction

1979 [35] ‘World’s Largest Turkey’ (77 lbs/35 kg) is auctioned for $4,000 in London, England

[Wed] Human Rights Day
[Wed] Nobel Prize Day
[Thurs] International Mountain Day
[Fri] “Exodus: Gods & Kings”; “Inherent Vice”; “Top Five” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Billboard Women in Music Awards (NYC)
[Fri] Ugly Christmas Sweater Day
This Week Is … Human Rights Week
This Month Is … Write a Business Plan Month


A few real – but really dumb – products that are actually available online …
• ‘Bacon Christmas Tree Ornament’ – Sorry, no smell … $7.95
• ‘Box of Boogers Candy’ – Loads of ’em, take your ‘pick’ … $3.99
• ‘Gingerbread Dog House’ – For your holiday hound … $29.95
• ‘Hand-Shaped Hand Soap’ – One hand washes the other two … $7.95
• ‘Inflatable Roast Turkey’ – A meal in a minute … $11.95
• ‘Instant Ugly Sweater Kit’ – Stick-ons to make even the nicest sweater horrendous … $7.95
• ‘Pregnant Woman Christmas Tree Ornament’ … $9.95
• ‘Shouting Snowballs’ – Like real snowballs only they shout (and they’re not made of snow) … $5.99
• ‘2015 Already Sucks’ button – Pessimism at it’s finest … $2.99
• ‘2015 Dog Poop Calendar’ – The monthly doos are back … $13.95

☎ What’s the most important part of your weekday morning routine?

Which has 78 bathrooms, 760 windows, and more than 40,000 lightbulbs?
a. The Pentagon in Washington DC.
b. The Canadian Parliament Buildings in Ottawa ON.
c. Buckingham Palace in London UK. [CORRECT]
– “Daily Telegraph”

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus. “You mean a martini?” the bartender asks. The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!”

Question: 25,000 kids a year are injured while traveling in one of THESE.
Answer. Shopping cart.

Never criticize your wife. If she were perfect, she would have married much better than you.

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