December 20 2022

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Tuesday, December 20, 2022 – Edition: #7383

Sheet For Brains!


The Bull Sheet will not be publishing during the period December 26, 2022 – January 2, 2023, in order to give staff an opportunity to enjoy the holidays. All subscribers will receive account credits for non-service days. Following Fri. Dec. 23, the next Bull Sheet edition will be for Tuesday, January 3rd. Thanks for a great year of BS and Happy Holidays, all!

★ Amber Heard is closing the book on the defamation case brought by her ex-husband, Johnny Depp — a decision that’s going to cost her 7 figures. On Monday morning, she  announced in a statement that she has made “a very difficult decision” to settle (rather than appeal) the defamation case brought against her by Depp, at which a jury found she defamed Depp in her op-ed about domestic violence, and he was awarded more than $10 million in damages. Sources say the settlement will cost her just $1 million. Heard wrote: “It’s important for me to say that I never chose this. I defended my truth in doing so my life as I knew it was destroyed. The vilification I have faced on social media is an amplified version of the ways women are re-victimised when they come forward.” Heard also pointed out that her settling the case “is not an act of concession. There are no restrictions or gags with respect to my voice moving forward.” LINK:
-E!, TMZ
★ They are making a royal fuss about it. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have demanded to have a royal summit with the entire Royal family and push for an apology regarding the alleged treatment at their hands, according to the Sunday Times. Following their Netflix documentary “Harry & Meghan” — which dropped numerous bombshells — the former royals said they want to “sit down with the royal family” and address their grievances. A source is quoted as saying: “Nothing like that was ever done when Harry and Meghan raised various concerns — no meeting, formal apology or taking responsibility or accountability”, and “they’d like to have a meeting.” Insiders say the former royals are attempting to reconcile with King Charles and the rest of the family ahead of his coronation in May — which Harry and Meghan are expected to attend.
★ A female burglar was caught going through Robert De Niro’s New York townhouse early Monday — grabbing gifts from underneath the Christmas tree and playing with his iPad, according to police. They said “known burglar,” 30-year-old Shanice Aviles, broke into the “Irishman” star’s home around 2:30am. Officers with NYPD’s 19th Precinct Public Safety team had spotted Aviles trying to open doors to commercial buildings before she made her way inside De Niro’s home. DeNiro and his daughter had been upstairs and were unaware of what was going on. Cops busted Aviles, who has 26 prior arrests, at the scene, and charges were pending at last report.
★ Amazon Studios has confirmed it has secured global rights to the “Warhammer 40,000” game for “Man of Steel” Henry Cavill to star in and executive produce the franchise. The agreement encompasses rights to the universe across TV series, film and likely games and animation. Warhammer 40,000 is a miniature wargame produced by Games Workshop in which players enact battles using miniature models of warriors and fighting vehicles. It is set in the distant future, where a stagnant human civilization is threatened by hostile aliens and supernatural creatures. Cavill just exited his DC role as ‘Superman’ and left his starring role in Netflix’s “The Witcher” after 3 seasons.


• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jean Smart, Wes Bentley, Charley Crockett
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Selena Gomez, Sebastian Maniscalco, beabadoobee (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Michelle Obama, Stromae (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jim Parsons, Amber Ruffin, Lacey Lamar, Bryan Carter (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): David Harbour, Sarah Hyland, Dan Black (R)
• The View” (ABC/CTV): Steve Martin, Harry Bliss, Fat Joe (R)
• “The Talk”(CBS): David Alan Grier, MJ Acosta-Ruiz (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): The best moments from the last 5 years
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Michelle Obama, Dolly Parton, Amy Poehler, Dr. Giles, Matthew West
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Daniel Radcliffe, Lake Bell (R)
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Simon Cowell
• “Sherri” (Check local listings): Lee Daniels, Jordan E. Cooper, Casey Wilson
• “Mariah Carey: Merry Christmas to All!” (CBS): Carey performs a repertoire of her holiday hits, including the perennial favorite ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’.
• “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town” (ABC): A mailman (the voice of Fred Astaire) explains why Santa has whiskers, lives at the North Pole and brings presents once a year. Animated.
• “Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch (2018)” (NBC): The disgruntled Grinch hatches a scheme to pose as Santa, steal Christmas and silence the Whos’ holiday cheer once and for all.


• Taylor Swift – Her 2023 “Eras” stadium tour is anticipated to make a whopping $591 million in ticket sales in the US alone. Billboard says it will make her the female artist with the highest-grossing tour of all time.
• Billie Eilish — will release an extended version of her Grammy-nominated “Live at the O2” concert film in movie theaters for one night only, January 27. “Billie Eilish Live at the O2 (Extended Cut),” shot in 4K with Dolby Atmos sound (where available), features an additional 6 songs and 30 minutes of footage from the concert on her “Happier Than Ever, The World Tour.”
• Wham! — have returned to #1 in the UK with ‘Last Christmas’. Originally released in 1984, the song once held the record for the best-selling single never to reach #1 in the UK, after being famously kept at #2 by ‘Band Aid’s Do They Know It’s Christmas?’, until it hit the top on New Year’s Day 2021.
• ZZ Top – Guitarist Billy Gibbons welcomed guests Joe Bonamassa and The Doors’ Robby Krieger to the stage during his annual birthday jam on Thursday at the Troubadour in West Hollywood, California. Gibbons turned 73 on Friday. LINK:
• Billy Joel — postponed his final Madison Square Garden concert of the year, scheduled for last night, due to a “viral infection.” In a statement, his reps said he is “under strict doctor’s orders for vocal rest” and the show would be pushed back to June 2. It would have been his 86th monthly and 132nd lifetime show at the Garden, in a residency that began in 2014.
• Luke Bryan – Friday, he announced the addition of Chayce Beckham and Alana Springsteen to the lineup of his 2023 Crash My Playa event. Bryan, Chris Stapleton and Cole Swindell are the previously announced headliners for Jan. 19-22 at the Moon Palace Cancún.
• Keith Urban – Just in the time for the holidays, he has made a whopping donation of $250,000 to 4 Nashville charities to show his appreciation for their “inspiring” work. The money was distributed among the Music Health Alliance, the Nashville Food Project, Thistle Farms, and Vanderbilt Breast Cancer Research.
• Alan Jackson – became a grandfather last week. He shared on Instagram that his daughter Alexandra “Ali” Jane Jackson Bradshaw gave birth to his grandson on Tuesday, writing: “Denise and I are celebrating our 43rd wedding anniversary with our new grandson Jackson Alvie Bradshaw. So happy that this little guy has made us grandparents!” LINK:


Today is “Go Caroling Day”, and, well, let’s just say: ‘Don’t knock it ‘til you try it”. Research shows that group singing has many beneficial biological, psychological, behavioral, and social benefits. How? Group singing can synchronize singers’ heartbeats and breathing patterns. That can partly explain some of the positive effects of group singing such as bonding and social connection. Singing together also increases the feel-good hormone oxytocin and improves mood, helping us to bond with our fellow singers as we “perform”. Group singing also has psychosocial benefits for those living with a range of health conditions – including building resilience, enhancing mood, creating a sense of belonging and purpose, improving quality of life, and promoting wellbeing.
(You also sometimes get free cookies…so there’s that too!)
(I sang tenor in a Christmas choir last year. As soon as I started, they told me to stand “tenor 12 feet away”!)

Scientists have created a gel made of human cells that they say can stop bullets, and other supersonic objects. Researchers at the University of Kent say it could ensure the safety of military and police personnel, and could also be used to guard airplanes and spacecraft against flying debris. The protective biogel contains a protein found in human cells. Known as ‘talin’, it “reforms” in response to external forces. The science is waaay to complicated for me to understand, so we’ll skip that part, but I do know that in tests, shrapnel fired at supersonic speeds of a mile a second (twice as fast as firearm bullets), the gel stopped it in its tracks. The breakthrough opens the door to a whole new generation bulletproof armor.
(And a whole new generation of Marvel movie villains!)
(All I can say is this: Please can I get some of this for my car before my daughter starts driving??)


✪ The first Lego stores in Israel opened earlier this year and one is now home to the world’s largest Lego menorah. A menorah built with 136,000 single bricks is on display at the Lego store in Tel Aviv’s Dizengoff Center shopping mall. It was built by hundreds of children and families over 3 days as part of the Hanukkah Lego festival. The menorah is 4.5 meters (15 feet) in height and 4.4 meters wide. Menorahs are lighted each day of Hanukkah, which started Sunday and continues through Dec. 26. (That’s a major menorah!)
✪ A North Carolina family shared video from the unusual festive scene that unfolded when a squirrel entered their home and tried to hide out in the Christmas tree. Taylor Stading said the squirrel can in through a loose roof shingle, climbed through a sink pipe opening and emerged in an upstairs bathroom. The family dog, Dixie, then chased the squirrel through the house until it managed to hide out in the Christmas tree. Videos show Stading attempting to get the squirrel out through nearby window while advice and commentary is offered by her kids. She eventually used a dust mop to give the squirrel a push out the window and back into the wild. Online commenters naturally pointed out that the videos evoked memories of the famous Christmas tree squirrel from “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”. LINK:

➠ Mistaken Lyrics Coasters:  This set of cork coasters features famously misheard lyrics, which are bound to make everyone LOL. Examples: “Hit me with your best shark”, “It’s not fair, to deny me, of the cross-eyed bear, that you gave to me.” US $18.99
➠ Bread-shaped Lush Pillow:  Available in 3 sizes, this giant plush baguette is sure to give the carb lover in your life sweet dreams. $36
➠ Belly Waist Pack: It’s a dadbod-styled fannypack that you wear over your stomach, and it hilariously looks like – well, a dude’s bare belly! $20
➠ Sushi Socks:  If their go-to takeout order is always sushi, then this set of cotton socks, packaged in a traditional sushi takeout box, will appeal to their taste (buds). $26
➠ My Last Nerve Candle:  A classic-looking scented candle, with the label: “My Last Nerve. Oh look…it’s on fire”! If they’re always stressed out, hopefully this will make them laugh (and relax a little!). $23
➠ Custom Dog Portrait:  They treat their furbaby like royalty, and your favorite pet parent will howl with laughter over this custom Renaissance-style pet art, which is available as a digital file, canvas, or poster. $26
➠ “I Pooped” Bathroom Guest Book:   We all do (-do) it. So why not gift your friend this housewarming present to spruce up their new bathroom? (I’m not sure that ‘houseWARMING’ is the right word for this!) $7


Awkward news for those countries and municipalities that have made strides toward banning the use of single-use shopping bags: According to an eye-popping estimate by the Denmark Ministry of the Environment, a cotton bag needs to be used at least 7,100 times to make it a truly environmentally friendly alternative to a conventional plastic bag. The answer to what’s the greenest replacement for a single-use plastic bag isn’t straightforward, but the bottom line is this: Reuse whatever bags you already have, as many times as you can. (7,100? My wife doesn’t go to Walmart that many times in a YEAR! Well, almost…)


• “Go Caroling Day”, a day to get together and sing out with friends, family, or a singing group. Nursing homes, hospitals and other places often welcome carolers if you call ahead. (One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in December!) [***See ‘Carol of the Well’, above***]
• “Dot Your i’s Day”, don’t be a poor penmanship perpetrator. Stop the neglect and give i’s their dots. (I’m fine with dotting my i’s, but crossing my t’s? That’s where I draw the line…)
• “International Human Solidarity Day”, a UN observance since 2005 to remind us of the importance of solidarity and the spirit of sharing in combatting poverty worldwide.
• “Sangria Day”, put a little “olé” in your life with the traditional fruity wine punch named for the Spanish word ‘sangre’, which means ‘blood’.
• “Games Day”, When was the last time you sat down with friends or family for an evening of carefree fun? If you can’t remember, this is the perfect occasion. The best-selling board game of all-time? ‘Monopoly’, with over 250 million sold in 80 countries and 26 languages since 1935.

[Wed] Winter arrives at 4:48pm EST/Winter Solstice
[Wed] Humbug Day
[Thurs] Cookie Exchange Day
[Fri] Festivus
This Week Is…Saturnalia
This Month Is…Car Donation Month

1945 [77] Peter Criss, Brooklyn, NY, retired rock drummer/sometime vocalist (Kiss-‘Beth’, ‘Hard Luck Woman’)

1948 [74] Alan Parsons, London England, rock singer/songwriter (Alan Parsons Project-‘Games People Play’, ‘Eye in the Sky’), recording engineer (Pink Floyd-“The Dark Side of the Moon”, The Beatles-“Abbey Road, “Let it Be”)

1966 [56] Chris Robinson, Marietta GA, rock singer (The Black Crowes-‘Hard To Handle’, ‘She Talks to Angels’)

1982 [40] David Cook, Houston TX, pop singer (‘The Time of My Life’, ‘Light On’)/2008 “American Idol” winner

1983 [39] Jonah Hill, Mill Valley CA, movie actor (“The Wolf of Wall Street”, “21 Jump Street”) COMING UP…“You People”, 2023

1990 [32] JoJo (Joanna Levesque), Brattleboro VT, pop singer (‘Leave [Get Out]’, ‘Baby It’s You’ ft. Bow Wow)/at age 13, the youngest solo artist to have a #1 hit

1946 [76] The Christmas classic “It’s a Wonderful Life” premieres in New York, directed by Frank Capra, starring James Stewart, Donna Reed and Lionel Barrymore

2005 [17] Renee Zellweger annuls her marriage to Kenny Chesney, citing fraud, after 4 months of marriage

2007 [15] Valerie Bertinelli divorces Eddie Van Halen due to irreconcilable differences, after 26 years of marriage

1980 [42] ‘(Just Like) Starting Over’ becomes John Lennon’s first #1 single as a solo artist in the UK, 12 days after his murder

2012 [10] Adele is named Billboard magazine’s ‘Top Artist of 2012’; and “21” is named ‘Album of the Year’

1980 [42] The first (and only) NFL telecast with NO announcers occurs (as a stunt, NBC uses only sounds and graphics for a meaningless NY Jets-Miami Dolphins game)

2007 [15] Queen Elizabeth II becomes Britain’s oldest-ever monarch, surpassing Queen Victoria’s lifespan of 81 years, 7 months, 29 days (and in 2015, she overtakes Victoria as longest-serving British monarch)


✓ A fruitcake, properly prepared and stored, will last for 25 years.
✓ Assuming Rudolph was in front, there are 40,320 ways to rearrange the other 8 reindeer.
✓ Norwegians pay half the usual amount of tax in November, so everyone has more money for Christmas.
✓ Many Denny’s restaurants were built without locks, which became a problem when they decided to close for Christmas.
✓ Until a Coca-Cola ad gave him his red and white suit, Santa Claus wore green, purple or blue.
✓ Before adopting turkey, the traditional Christmas meal in England was a pig’s head covered with mustard.
-Parenting, Playbuzz

Best of BS . . .
• Start your diet on December 24th
• Have a birthday on December 25th
• Give your daughter a gift certificate for a boob job
• If you’re a Grandma, get run over by a reindeer
• Shoot your eye out
• Put me in charge of baking
• A well-wrapped charcoal briquette can easily be mistaken for a ring gift box
• Discuss politics
• Explain to the kids that “Santa” fell asleep and forgot to put the presents under the tree
• Invite Cousin Eddie
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

• Deer Pong
• Rackgammon
• Buck, Buck, Goose
• I don’t know what its called, but you sure get Blitzened playing it!
• Tic Tac Doe
• So You Think You Can Prance
• Stag, You’re it
• Antlers in the Pants
• Drinking until it isn’t just Rudolph who has a red nose
• Of course, the first rule of reindeer games is…you do not talk about reindeer games
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

Well, time for me to leave:

People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas…

What’s the most ridiculous thing you have ever purchased (Christmas gift or not…)?

Question:  60% of us have never done THIS during the holiday season.
Answer:  Kissed under the mistletoe.

Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.


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