Thursday, December 2, 2021 – Edition: #7120
Can You Believe This Sheet?
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Kim Kardashian and her 8-year-old daughter, North West, created a joint TikTok account last week. And because of course they did, they racked up more than 130,000 followers and 430,000 “likes” in less than 24 hours. How? Thanks in part to Kim sharing one of their videos with her hundreds of millions of followers on Instagram and Twitter. The duo has been fairly active since launching their account, posting 14 videos in a 12-hour span on Thanksgiving.
-PageSix
★ Bradley Cooper revealed on a podcast that he was once held at knifepoint on a New York City subway. In October 2019, he was heading downtown to pick up his daughter, and QUOTE: “realized I had gotten way, way too comfortable in the city.” Cooper says he felt someone approaching, and simply thought that they wanted a selfie with him. The next thing he knew, “I’m up against the post like it’s the ‘French Connection’ or some(thing), and…I looked down and I see a knife.” He said he was ultimately able to run away through a station entrance.
-Yahoo
★ On “Jimmy Kimmel Live” Monday Night, he announced that some heavy hitters will be starring in his upcoming reenactment of “The Facts of Life.” Jennifer Aniston will portray rich girl ‘Blair’, Gabrielle Union will play ‘Tootie’, Allison Tolman will play ‘Natalie’ and Kathryn Hahn will portray ‘Jo’. They’ll be joined by Ann Dowd, who was previously announced as ‘Mrs. Garrett’. The reenactment is part of the upcoming third installment of Kimmel’s collaboration with sitcom legend Norman Lear, “Live in Front of a Studio Audience,” which features major stars in live reenactments of classic sitcoms. It’s set to air 8-9:30 p.m. ET on Tuesday, Dec. 7.
-TheWrap
★ The Gucci family is back in the news with the early success of Ridley Scott’s “House of Gucci”, and “Dateline NBC” is presenting a special tomorrow that looks at the clan’s business and the real murder portrayed in the film. The announcement of the Dateline special came a day after the real Gucci family slammed Scott’s film as “a narrative that is anything but accurate” saying it portrays “members of the Gucci family as thugs, ignorant and insensitive to the world around them.” “Murder in the House of Gucci” will air tomorrow night.
-Deadline
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Riz Ahmed, Norah Jones
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Blake Shelton, Ana Gasteyer, Rachel Dratch
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Mahershala Ali, Jason Reynolds
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Paul Rudd, Jared Harris, Nate Smith (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Martha Stewart, Christian Siriano
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Kathy Griffin
• “The Talk” (CBS): Skylar Astin
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Nicole Kidman, Holly Robinson Peete
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Michael Keaton
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Taraji P. Henson, Celina Smith, Lang Lang
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Vanessa Williams, Michelle Visage, Trixie Mattel, Mary McCartney
• “The Great Christmas Light Fight” (ABC): Season 9 finale
• “Annie Live!: (NBC): A performance of the musical starring Taraji P. Henson, Harry Connick Jr., Tituss Burgess, Megan Hilty, Nicole Scherzinger, and 12-year-old newcomer Celina Smith.
• “A Christmas Village Romance” (LIFETIME): Sparks fly between a romance novelist and a blacksmith as they try to save a charming village during the holidays.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Rihanna – has a shelf-full of Grammys and other awards, but her latest honor overshadows them all. On Monday, as Barbados formally cut ties with the U.K., her native country named her a national hero. She’ll now be addressed as the Right Honorable Rihanna. (Beats the hell out of being called ‘Ye’, amiright?)
• Kanye West — completely erased all photos and videos from his Instagram page on Monday. While the reason for his most recent hiatus is unclear, it comes days after he shared a 5-minute Thanksgiving prayer, stating that he wants to reunite with estranged wife Kim Kardashian West.
• Stevie Nicks – says she nearly died just hours after her 2019 induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Despite cold-like symptoms, she still managed a 12-minute acceptance speech and to belt out some of her biggest hits. But the next day she got “really sick” and wound up in ICU for a week with double pneumonia and asthma. Quote: “My oxygen levels were hardly existing.”
• Mötley Crüe — have sold their entire recorded music catalog to BMG for about $150 million. The deal spans every studio album from the band’s full 40-year career, plus live LPs and compilations.
• Chicago and Brian Wilson – have announced dates for a 2022 summer U.S. tour. Wilson will be joined by fellow Beach Boys co-founder Al Jardine and South African singer-guitarist Blondie Chaplin, who was a member of the legendary surf band from 1972-1973. The co-headlining 25-city outing kicks off June 7 in Phoenix AZ and runs through July 26 in Clarkston MI.
• Marilyn Manson – His home was raided by L.A. County Sheriff’s Office on Monday, with officers carrying out a search warrant on his property. The raid was conducted in connection to ongoing sexual assault investigations. Hard drives and media storage units were seized, according to reports.
• Dustin Lynch – told an interviewer recently that his buddy sent him a plane so he could learn to fly. Lynch called the offer “one of those things I couldn’t turn down, so off I went into learning.” Although that plane has now been grounded with mechanical problems, Lynch says he has a “trainer plane coming to Nashville that’s mine.”
• Turnpike Troubadors — After years of an indefinite hiatus and days of online speculation, the beloved Oklahoma band have reunited. On social media, the band announced their first show since 2019 – a headlining appearance at Red Rocks Amphitheater in Morrison CO on May 14, 2022. Additional tour dates and a new album are on the way.
• Dallas Smith – won his third consecutive ‘Entertainer of the Year’ award at the Canadian Country Music Awards Monday. He also took home ‘Male Artist of the Year’ and ‘Single of the Year’ for ‘Like a Man’. Tenille Townes won her 3rd consecutive ‘Female Artist of the Year’ title. Brett Kissel nabbed ‘Fans’ Choice’, while The Reklaws were named ‘Group or Duo of the Year’.
SHOOTING THE BULL
SCIENTISTS SAY:
⇒ Concordia University researchers say that professional sports leagues could help fight climate change by retaining their pandemic-era schedules, thereby reducing travel. They say that all 4 major sports leagues in North America (NBA, NHL, MLB and NFL) saw huge declines in their carbon footprints since the beginning of the pandemic in 2020. The 4 leagues combined for an astounding 4.6 million miles of air travel across 5,655 flights, resulting in nearly 122,000 tons of carbon dioxide emissions in 2018 alone. But if they were to stick with their pandemic-era lockdown schedules, overall travel would drop annually by 22% (over 25,000 tons). (Thankfully, [Local crappy team] is already doing their part, by being an obscenely long-shot to make the playoffs…)
⇒ Redheads really do have a higher tolerance for pain than people with other hair colors. Researchers at Massachusetts General Hospital found that those with red hair – animals and humans alike – have slightly different protein receptors…and long story short, it means that those with red hair are likely to feel less pain. The scientists hope to use their findings to “assist medical personnel when caring for patients whose pain sensitivities may vary.” (Does this also explain the proportionately high number of red-headed Nickelback fans?)
-StudyFinds
FUTUROLOGISTS SAY:
As the year draws to a close, here’s a glimpse of what life might be like…some day, according to a group of futurologists . . .
• Facial recognition: “In 30 years it’s quite possible that you will not use a key or even a credit card. You’ll use your face or iris to make purchases and open locks.” — Martin Ford, author of “Rule of the Robots: How Artificial Intelligence Will Transform Everything.”
• Drones: “We will need 3 million more Artificial Intelligence engineers by 2030. We’ll need people to be drone command-center operators who will fly surveillance drones” to help stop crime by providing eyes everywhere, responding to gunshots (picked up from sensitive receivers all around cities) and following criminals until police on the ground can cuff them. — Thomas Frey, founder and executive director of DaVinci Institute, a futuristic think tank in Colorado.
• Food: It’ll be different. Largely due to global warming, fish will be 30% smaller in the coming decades. On the upside, your water will be exquisite. “People will pay a lot to get perfect water,” according to Frey. “But it will be exactly what you should be drinking. It may have more potassium, vitamin C or oxygen.” Restaurants? Robotic kitchens “will prepare hyper individualized menus for diners. Now, people are picky about “eating or not eating certain things” — like dairy or gluten — “and it will be even more so in the future. You may order a cheeseburger or chicken wing and it will be individualized for you with robots adding trace elements [such as fluoride or zinc] which will enhance your health.”
• Vacations: Hyper-loops will zip humans through vacuum tunnels at 750mph and hyper-speed jets will take passengers “from New York to Los Angeles in a couple hours”, according to Frey. Drone taxi cabs will transport them from the airport to a hotel. And not only will there be space hotels, there may be luxurious hotels under the seas and floating cities with zoos and animals that you can’t imagine…such as a revived species of woolly mammoth.
• Other highlights: Designer babies (pick your kids’ hair color, athleticism and even intelligence), Longer lives (AI, customizable medicine and disease-curing tech will allow us to live until we are “hit by a bus”, according to Ford and Google’s futurologist Ray Kurzweil.)
• Hollywood: You’ve heard of “Deep-fakes”? “Within 30 years…the heirs of deceased movie stars will continue to make movies [starring their ancestors]. None of the characters we see in movies will be ‘real’. Producers will create characters by having conversations with artificial intelligence. (So, no use for actors…which of course means no TMZ!)
-NYPost
TWITTER SAYS:
Have you ever had a picture of yourself posted on social media by someone else…that you really wish they hadn’t? If it is on Twitter, you’re in luck. Twitter says images or video of people shared without their permission are now against its policies and can be removed on request. Twitter said it will consider the context in which images were posted, for instance, whether an image is publicly available, on news websites or “if a particular image and the accompanying tweet text adds value to the public discourse, is being shared in the public interest, or is relevant to the community”. In response, critics say the rule is too broad and could be “used to deliberately stifle free expression on the platform”.
(I like this rule…mainly because I’ve been seen at less-than-my-best in more than one concert photo!)
(There goes my great idea for a Twitter account: “Crimes in Action, Plus Parades!”)
(That’s fine and all, but WHERE’S THE EDIT BUTTON EVERYONE WANTS??)
-BBC
REAL (FUNNY) STREET NAMES:
➢ Booger Branch Road (Crandall, Georgia)
➢ Butts Wynd Street (St. Andrews, Scotland)
➢ Weiner Cutoff Road (Harrisburg, Pennsylvania)
➢ Awesome Street (Cary, North Carolina)
➢ Farfrompoopen Road (the only way to get to Constipation Ridge in Story, Arkansas)
➢ Inyo Street (intersects with Butte St. in Bakersfield, California
➢ Psycho Path (Traverse City, Michigan)
➢ Divorce Court (Heather Highlands, Pennsylvania)
➢ This Street, That Street, and The Other Street (all in Porters Lake, Nova Scotia)
➢ Pe’e Pe’e Place (Hilo, Hawaii)
-BathroomReadersInstitute
DID YOU KNOW?
Marvel fans hoping to be among the first to see “Spider-Man: No Way Home” have run into a snag after theater websites on both sides of the Atlantic crashed and left fans unable to purchase tickets. Within hours, tickets started appearing on sites such as eBay for eye-wateringly large sums of money. A New Jersey based ticket seller offered 6 tickets for $25,000 — around $4,000 per ticket, writing: “If you know, you know.” Another put one ticket up for sale – for $10,000. Soon after, it was marked as sold. Spider-Man: No Way Home hits theaters on Dec. 15 in the UK, and on the 17th in North America.
-LADBible
BS CHRONOMETER 12.02.21
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1960 [61] Rick Savage, Sheffield, England, rock bassist (Def Leppard-‘Hysteria’, ‘Rock of Ages’)
1968 [53] Lucy Liu, Queens NY, TV actress (‘Joan Watson’ on “Elementary” 2012-19, “Dirty Sexy Money” 2008-09)/movie actress (“Kung Fu Panda”, “Kill Bill”)
1968 [53] Nate Mendel, Richmond WA, rock bassist (Foo Fighters-‘Learn to Fly’, ‘Best of You’)
1978 [43] Nelly Furtado, Victoria BC, pop singer (‘I’m Like a Bird’, ‘Promiscuous’)
1981 [40] Britney Spears, Kentwood LA, pop singer (‘Baby, One More Time’, ‘Oops!… I Did It Again’)
1983 [38] Jana Kramer, Rochester Hills MI, country singer (‘Why Ya Wanna’, I Got the Boy’)/actress (“One Tree Hill” 2009-12)/reality star (“Dancing With the Stars” 2016)
1983 [38] Aaron Rodgers, Chico CA, NFL quarterback (Green Bay Packers)/Super Bowl winner 2010; Super Bowl MVP 2010; NFL MVP 2011, 2014, 2020; 9-time Pro Bowl
1983 [38] Daniela Ruah, Boston MA, TV actress (‘Kensi Blye’ on “NCIS: Los Angeles” since 2009)
1988 [33] Alfred Enoch, Westminster England, movie actor (“Harry Potter” franchise)/TV actor (“How to Get Away with Murder” 2014-20)
1991 [30] Charlie Puth, Rumson NJ, pop singer (‘See You Again’ w/Wiz Khalifa, ‘We Don’t Talk Anymore’ w/Selena Gomez)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Fritters Day”, honoring the yummy treat made by frying up small cakes of dough in butter or oil. (Yum! Really good for you, too!)
• “International Day For the Abolition of Slavery”, a UN observance begun in 1949. An estimated 40.3 million people are victims of modern slavery. LINK: https://www.un.org/en/observances/slavery-abolition-day
• “Mutt Day”, saluting all dogs that are cross-breeds, no-breeds, or all-breeds. (And what do you get if you neuter your dog? Nixed mutts!)
• “Special Education Day”, initiated in 1975 to promote access to education for all children, including those with disabilities.
• “Business of Popping Corn Day”, honoring this day in 1885 when Charles Cretors founded C. Cretors & Company, which invented the first large-scale commercial oil popcorn popper. (Perhaps “Toothpick Day” should be celebrated today, too?)
• “United Arab Emirates National Day”, celebrating the anniversary of independence of the federation of 7 Persian Gulf states from Britain in 1971.
COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Let’s Hug Day
[Fri] Make a Gift Day
[Sat] Cookie Day
[Sat] Sock Day
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006 [15] 25-year-old Beyoncé is signed to star in the film “Dreamgirls”, the musical based on Diana Ross & The Supremes
2012 [09] Blues legend Buddy Guy, Dustin Hoffman, David Letterman, and the surviving members of Led Zeppelin receive Kennedy Center Honors for contributions to culture
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1983 [38] Michael Jackson’s 14-minute ‘Thriller’ video debuts on MTV
2009 [12] Beyoncé leads nominees for the 52nd Grammy Awards with 10 nominations
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2009 [12] Adam Barta of Girard, OH throws 191 bowling strikes in an hour, breaking the previous record by 15
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Beards are the fastest growing hairs on the human body.
✓ The average woman has 17 square feet of skin. It stretches to 18½ square feet during pregnancy.
✓ If you never trimmed your fingernails, on your 80th birthday, they’d be about 13 feet (3.96m) long.
✓ There are 250,000 sweat glands in a pair of human feet.
✓ Statistically, the safest form for of travel (miles travelled versus number of deaths) is the elevator.
✓ Barry White’s music has been used by marine biologists to encourage sharks to mate.
-Unnecessary Knowledge, BathroomReadersInstitute
Best of BS . . .
MORE BS MORE-ACCURATE SLOGANS:
• Purell: The lazy hand wash
• Halls: Candy with directions
• Crayola Crayons: The white one is useless
• Bounty paper towels: Makeshift plates
• Axe: Makes all the women flock…away from you
• Monopoly: A great way to ruin friendships
• Dirt Devil: Terrorize your pets
• Old Spice: Smell like Grandpa
• Febreze: Give your house the smell of freshly-laundered garbage
• Sims: Make your Sims pee themselves and yell at the sky
-Wimp, first published in BS in 2020
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ Adele barely beat the new Kid LAROI/Justin Bieber song for #1 on Billboard’s Top 100 by a few hundred spins. (Which means that last week in record stores, suburban moms who work in cubicles just slightly outnumbered fans of bad music…)
➠ At 70, Dierdre Wolownick has become the oldest woman to climb Yosemite’s El Capitan. She said that this is something she’ll someday be able to tell her grandchildren. (And by SOMEDAY, she meant that same day!)
➠ A woman in the Philippines, believed to be the world’s oldest person, just passed away at age 124. (…although her Tinder profile had her listed at 63.)
➠ It’s officially the holiday season! (You can tell because Starbucks is pushing the Michael Bublé Christmas CD instead of the regular Michael Bublé CD…)
➠ Kourtney Kardashian is denying that she’s pregnant after recent Instagram photos. (Because if there’s one thing this world doesn’t need, it’s more Kardashians…)
BS WEB GOODIE:
You’ll never listen to this song the same way again (sound up): https://tinyurl.com/ycysunks
BS RANDOM JOKE:
For the 10th year in a row, my co-workers voted me “the most secretive person” in the office. I can’t tell you how much this award means to me.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What part of your morning routine is odd compared to everyone else’s?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: THIS was invented in the 1880s as a hangover cure. What is it?
Answer: Brunch
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Life’s problems wouldn’t be called hurdles if there wasn’t a way to get over them.
