Friday, February 18, 2005 Edition: #2973
Ahhhh, Your Daily Bovine Colonic!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT at the Arrowhead Pond in Anaheim CA, No Doubt, Jay-Z, Blink 182 and Ozzy Osbourne are among those performing in a “Music for Relief” concert organized by Linkin Park . . . TONIGHT a tsunami relief benefit concert in Seattle WA will unite the surviving members of Alice in Chains with Damageplan vocalist Patrick Lachman, along with Sir Mix-a-Lot, Ann Wilson of Heart, former Nirvana bassist Krist Novoselic and others . . . SUNDAY Clint Black, Brian Wilson, Five for Fighting and Vanessa Williams will perform at the “Tribute to America” pre-race concert at the 47th annual “Daytona 500″ NASCAR race in Daytona Beach FL (Matthew McConaughey is the race’s ‘Grand Marshal’, Ashton Kutcher is the ‘Honorary Starter’) . . . SUNDAY LeAnn Rimes and Big & Rich perform in the “NBA All-Star Game” half-time show . . . SUNDAY actress Kerry Washington (Ray Charles’ wife ‘Della Bea’ in “Ray”) begins a series of appearances in ABC-TV’s “Boston Legal”, playing a new lawyer in the firm . . . SUNDAY NBC-TV airs the special “The First 5 Years of Saturday Night Live” (back when Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, Chevy Chase, Jane Curtin et al were actually funny) . . . THIS WEEK Paris Hilton’s birthday party at Hollywood club El Centro was reportedly hosted by – Melissa Rivers & Jack Osbourne (um, what comes below ‘Z-List’?) . . . And supermarket tabloid “National Enquirer” is moving its editorial offices from Boca Raton FL to NYC in order to ‘break more investigative stories’ (and also to be closer to the courthouse when they are constantly getting sued).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alanis Morissette – She’s officially become an American citizen but retains dual citizenship and now refers to herself as a ‘Canadian-American’. (Wouldn’t that make her a ‘Calgarian’?)
• Destiny’s Child – Kelly Rowland tells “Modern Bride” magazine that when Dallas Cowboy player Roy Williams proposed, he became so flustered he asked her to be his ‘husband’. (Perhaps why she’s reportedly broken off the engagement?)
• 50 Cent – TOMORROW he’s on “Saturday Night Live” on NBC-TV.
• Jennifer Lopez – She’s cancelled promotional appearances in Europe after being spotted at a medical clinic LAST WEEK. (Pregnancy announcement imminent? Or is she just embarrassed over that sickly “Grammy Awards” performance?)
• Joss Stone – TONIGHT she’s on “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”. (Bets on whether she’ll wear shoes?)
• Julie Roberts – TODAY she appears on ABC-TV’s “Good Morning America” to sing “Good to Go”, the show’s new theme song. (And for her – royalties to go!)
• Tim McGraw – TONIGHT he & rapper partner Nelly are among those scheduled to appear in the “NBA All-Star Celebrity Game” in Denver CO. The halftime show features Ciara.
• Wynonna – TONIGHT she makes guest appearances in back-to-back episodes of ABC-TV’s “Hope & Faith”.
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Because of Winn-Dixie” (PG Family Comedy): A 10-year-old girl (Annasophia Robb) who’s been abandoned by her mother moves to a small town in Florida with her preacher father (Jeff Daniels), where she befriends a stray dog whom she names ‘Winn-Dixie’ (after a local grocery store chain). The mutt not only helps her adapt to her new home but also repair her relationship with her dad.
• “Constantine” (R-Rated Action Thriller): Keanu Reeves stars as supernatural detective ‘John Constantine’ who has the unique ability to see half-breed angels and demons that disguise themselves as humans and walk the Earth. He teams with a female cop (Rachel Weisz) to investigate the apparent suicide of her twin sister. Based on the DC/Vertigo comic book “Hellblazer”.
• “Son of the Mask” (PG Action Comedy): Jamie Kennedy plays an aspiring cartoonist who stumbles onto the magical ‘Mask of Loki’ and soon his newborn son develops some of the mask’s spectacular powers. This piques the interest of ‘Loki’ himself (Alan Cumming) who really, really wants his mask back – or else. Jim Carrey passed on this tenuous follow-up to 1994’s “The Mask”, then “Thong Song” singer Sisqo also turned it down.
2005 EAST COAST MUSIC AWARDS:
• SUNDAY the “ECMA Gala Awards Ceremony” is hosted by country singer George Canyon on CBC-TV from Sydney NS.
• The Trews (now based in Niagara Falls but originally from Antigonish NS), Great Big Sea, Shaye and Gordie Sampson dominate nominations with 5 apiece. George Canyon, Natalie MacMaster, Jimmy Rankin and Nathan Wiley are right behind with 4 each.
WE JUST GOT WAAAAY OLDER:
Anthropologists from the USA and Australia believe they have found the oldest-ever homo sapiens fossils in Ethiopia. It’s believed they date to about 195,000 years ago, thereby pushing back the age of the first humans by – over 35,000 years! (The fossils have been named Keith Richards and Willie Nelson.)
– ANI
CARBON COPY COW:
Australian scientists have successfully created the world’s first cloned cow using a technique called serial nuclear transfer. ‘Brandy’, a healthy Holstein-Fresian calf, was created by researchers from the Genetics Australia Co-operative. It’s believed the new technique could be used to develop better quality herds. (And lower the price of wallets!)
– “Sydney Morning Herald”
WIDE WORLD OF BS:
• Sex workers Down Under have come up with a unique Tsunami Appeal Fundraiser. Australians are being invited to patronize a local brothel NEXT FRIDAY when prostitutes are pledging to give a percentage of the day’s take to support – their Thai sex worker sisters. (Help them get back on their feet … so to speak.)
• A bride in India was forced to ask for volunteers to marry her after the groom fled minutes before the ceremony. Luckily, a man in attendance immediately offered his hand and the bride’s parents approved their new son-in-law on the spot. (She may be lots of things but she sure ain’t picky.)
• A Dutch farmer has been painting pigeons with environmentally friendly, water-based pink and green paint to ward off hungry birds of prey who were killing them off. And surprise, it seems to work! The odd colors seem to make the pigeons unappetizing to predators. (Sorta like the green growing all over stuff in your fridge.)
• Ukrainian physician Dr Grigoriy Chausovskiy has invented a musical condom that gets louder as the ‘encounter’ becomes more passionate. As if that isn’t enchanting enough, the tunes played by the condom are determined by the various positions assumed by the couple. (Suggested tunes, anyone? Goo Goo Dolls’ “Give A Little Bit”? Ryan Cabrera’s “On The Way Down”? Tim McGraw & Nelly’s “Over And Over”? Snoop Dogg’s “Doggystyle”?)
FOR THE RECORD:
26-year-old Ramesh Kumar of Coimbatore, India will make an attempt at a new world record by trying to eat – yuck! – 50 cockroaches in a minute. That would exterminate the current record of 36. (Apparently they taste like chicken!)
THE BULL SHEET 02.18.2K5
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1933 [72] Yoko Ono, Tokyo, Japan, bad artist/bad singer who married well/John Lennon’s really rich widow
1954 [51] John Travolta, Englewood NJ, movie actor (“Pulp Fiction”) UP NEXT: The “Get Shorty” sequel “Be Cool”, opening MARCH 4th
1957 [48] Vanna White (Rosich), North Myrtle Beach SC, TV mannequin (“Wheel of Fortune”) who’s been a ‘letter turner’ since 1982
1964 [41] Matt Dillon, New Rochelle NY, movie actor (“There’s Something About Mary”) COMING UP: Co-stars with Lindsay Lohan in “Herbie: Fully Loaded”, coming JUNE 24th.
1965 [40] Dr Dre (Andre Young), Compton CA, rap/hip-hop artist/producer credited with discovering Eminem/sometime movie actor (“Training Day”) FACTOID: Aftermath Records is asking it be celebrated simply as ‘Dre Day’, toning down mentions that he’s turning 40. Right.
SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
Motown legend Smokey Robinson is 65; Movie actor Jeff Daniels (“Because of Winn-Dixie”) is 50; Britain’s Prince Andrew is 45; Pop singer Seal (“Kissed From a Rose”) is 42; Movie actor Benicio Del Toro (“Traffic”) is 38.
SUNDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
Canadian singer-songwriter Buffy Sainte-Marie is 64; Classic rock singer/bassist Walter Becker (Steely Dan) is 55; Model Cindy Crawford is 39; Pop singer Brian Littrell (Backstreet Boys) is 30; TV actress Lauren Ambrose (“Six Feet Under”) is 27.
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is –
• “Open a Can of Beans Day” in celebration of “Canned Food Month”, when we’re encouraged to chow down on beans during at least one meal. (Today is also ‘Evacuate the Studio Day!’)
• “Hey Diddle Diddle Day”, celebrating the ‘First Cow in Space’. 75 years ago TODAY (1930), a cow by the name of ‘Ollie’ took an airplane ride as a publicity stunt for a Wisconsin dairy farm.
• The 27th annual “Jalapeno Festival” in Laredo TX. The record for pepper-popping is 141 jalapenos in 15 minutes, set back in 1979.
SATURDAY is –
• “Student Volunteer Day”, a day for students to give back to their communities by offering to take on worthwhile tasks.
SUNDAY is –
• “Northern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo Day”, when at noon local time you’re encouraged to go outdoors and yell ‘HOODIE-HOO!!!!’ at the top of your lungs to relieve winter blahs.
• “Call An Old Friend Day”, a day to phone someone you haven’t talked to in a very long time. (To make the maximum impact, have 7 beers first.)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1999 [06] George Clooney makes his final appearance as ‘Dr Doug Ross’ on “ER”, then moves on to making movies full-time
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1901 [104] 1st ‘Dust Removing Suction Cleaner’ (vacuum cleaner) patented (inventor Cecil Booth was excited to claim “My invention sucks!”) FACTOID: There are more than 15,000 vacuum cleaner accidents in North America annually!
1930 [75] 9th planet ‘Pluto’ discovered by Flagstaff AZ astronomer Clyde Tombaugh, who names it for the Roman god of the underworld (he should have called it ‘Clyde’)
1956 [49] ‘Play-Doh’ is 1st manufactured (invented by Cincinnati’s Joe McVicker when he concocted modeling clay for his sister’s pre-school students using wallpaper paste)
1978 [27] 1st ‘triathlon’ (‘The Iron Man’-Kona HI)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Today] Second Honeymoon Weekend begins
[Today] Thumb Appreciation Day
[Sun] 2005 NBA All-Star Game (Denver)
[Mon] “Canadian Idol” auditions (Saskatoon)
[Mon] Family Day (Alberta)
[Mon] Canadian Heritage Day
[Mon] Presidents’ Day (USA)
[Tues] Spay Day USA
[Wed] International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day
This Week Is . . . Brotherhood-Sisterhood Week
This Month Is . . . Cat Health Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
THE MICHAEL JACKSON ‘DEFENSE’:
• Liz Taylor (reported alcoholic with an addiction to painkillers)
• Diana Ross (convicted of DUI)
• Stevie Wonder (“I didn’t see anything”?)
• Kobe Bryant (accused of sexual assault)
• Nick Carter (suspected of battering Paris Hilton)
• Barry Gibb (known as ‘Pilly’ in his high-living Bee Gees days)
• Uri Geller (‘mentalist’ who claims he can bend spoons with his mind)
– PopBitch.com
BS ‘BEAT THE TOASTER’:
Your contestant gets 15 seconds to give as many answers as possible in each category. Time’s up when the toaster SFX go off.
• Brands of breakfast cereals.
• Things you do on Saturday nights instead of watching hockey.
• Affectionate names for your lover.
• Hot-looking cars.
• Most romantic places to fool around.
BS THIS OR THAT?
Have a caller or studio guest pick from each of the options as you run them down rapid-fire …
• A wild weekend with the boys/girls or a romantic weekend with someone special in a log cabin?
• “American Idol” or “The West Wing”?
• 10 oz of pure milk chocolate or a sizzling 10 oz steak?
• 2 hours in the gym or 2 hours in a bar?
• Soup or salad?
• “Hitch” or “Boogeyman”?
• Red convertible or black pickup truck?
• Freckles or dimples?
• Chess or checkers?
• Straight-up espresso or french vanilla cappuccino?
BS PHONE STARTER:
Hollywood movie stunt organizations are requesting that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences create a ‘Best Stunt Coordinator’ category for the Oscars. Wouldn’t a ‘Best Stunt’ award be more exciting?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 13% of us admit we do THIS every night … just in case.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Set 2 alarm clocks.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Marriage is not just a word … it’s a sentence.
