Friday, February 4, 2005        Edition: #2963
Sheet Rocks!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY Mark Burnett’s new reality TV show “Rock Star” visits Toronto in search of candidates to replace late INXS lead singer Michael Hutchence (auditions take place at the Mod Club as part of a worldwide search) . . . SATURDAY acting legend Paul Newman, who recently turned 80, is set to drive in the 43rd running of auto racing’s “Rolex 24 Race” at Daytona FL (look for the geezer with his left turn signal stuck on) . . . SATURDAY Paris Hilton hosts “Saturday Night Live”, with musical guest Keane . . . SATURDAY Fox News Channel airs Geraldo Rivera’s exclusive interview with Michael Jackson (what’s this, some kind of battle of guys with bad reps?) . . . SATURDAY the annual “Screen Actors Guild Awards” will be handed out on TNT (“Sideways” has 4 movie nominations, the same as Jamie Foxx has for HIMSELF) . . . THIS WEEKEND thousands of musicians from around-the-world (including India.Arie and Shaggy) are expected to flock to Ethiopia to celebrate the 60th anniversary of Bob Marley’s birth (SUNDAY), but reports that the celebration would include Marley’s body being re-buried in Ethiopia after being exhumed in Jamaica have been called false (what were they smokin’?) . . . SUNDAY actor Sean Astin (‘Sam’ in “The Lord of the Rings”) will play the role of king in a “Mardi Gras” parade in New Orleans (the annual booze bash runs through TUESDAY) . . . And is this guy busy or what? “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell has 5 new TV shows in development in addition to running his record company and discovering new pop stars in the US and UK.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Five For Fighting – TONIGHT they’re on “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Janet Jackson – SATURDAY she’s appearing in Jacksonville FL at the ‘Celebrity Scholarship Party’ sponsored by the Black Family Channel. (Hope she asked about the dress code!)
• Jennifer Lopez – She and hubby Marc Anthony will perform live together for the first time the “Grammy Awards” FEBRUARY 13th. (You can sure tell she’s promoting a new album!)
• Kenny Chesney – His “Be As You Are: Songs From an Old Blue Chair” is on top of the new Nielsen SoundScan chart with almost 311,000 copies sold.
• LeAnn Rimes – TONIGHT she does ABC-TV’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live”.
• Maroon 5 – They’ll open this year’s “Grammy Awards” by performing their hit “This Love”.
• 3 Doors Down – SATURDAY they’ll perform at CMT’s “Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Super Bowl Saturday Night Special” live from the Veterans Memorial Arena in Jacksonville FL. The show also features Jo Dee Messina.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Boogeyman” (PG-13 Horror Thriller): A young man (Barry Watson) can’t get over horrific experiences he remembers from his childhood, so he returns to the house he grew up in to face his fears and discover whether they are real or imagined. Co-stars Emily Deschanel & Lucy Lawless.
• “The Wedding Date” (PG-13 Romantic Comedy): Debra Messing plays a single woman who discovers her ex-fiancé will be serving as best man at her sister’s wedding. In a panic, she hires a male escort (Dermot Mulroney) to pose as her new boyfriend. Needless to say, things don’t work out as she expects.

SUPER SUNDAY FACTS:
• “Super Bowl 39″ is played SUNDAY at ALLTEL Stadium in Jacksonville FL. It’s scheduled for 6 pm EST but kickoff isn’t likely until about 6:30.
• This is the first Super Bowl ever held in Jacksonville. (And likely the last if media reaction holds sway.)
• LAST YEAR’S game was the most-watched American TV program EVER with 144.4 million viewers. The 10 most-watched US programs all-time are all Super Bowls.
• The pre-show entertainment will pair up interesting collaborations – Black Eyed Peas with ’70s funk band Earth, Wind And Fire; and Gretchen Wilson with The Charlie Daniels Band.
• First ”American Idol” winner Kelly Clarkson and former CCR frontman John Fogerty perform outside the stadium before the game in FOX-TV’s “NFL Tailgate Party”.
• Singers from the US Coast Guard Academy Choir will join the US Naval Academy Glee Club, the West Point Choir, and the Air Force Academy Chorale to perform the national anthem. Alicia Keys will perform “America the Beautiful” in tribute to Ray Charles, joined by 150 students from his alma mater, the Florida School for the Deaf & Blind.
• Paul McCartney is the featured performer in the halftime show.
• Most casinos in Las Vegas no longer accept odds on the Super Bowl coin toss because of the rumor the real coin toss is performed prior to the game, and the toss on the field is just for show. (Which is likely true!)
NET: http://www.superbowl.com

TOP THESPS:
Russell Crowe, Johnny Depp, Nicolas Cage & Clive Owen are among the top 10 ‘Greatest Actors of Our Generation’, according to “GQ” magazine. The list, chosen by editors and appearing in the MARCH issue, also includes Benicio Del Toro, John C Reilly, Gael Garcia Bernal, Don Cheadle, Leonardo DiCaprio & Jim Carrey. (So who’d they miss? Adam Sandler?)
– “USA Today”

STYLE STATEMENT:
It appears that with some of the new looks for men this upcoming year there is a new black – and it’s dirt! A number of designers are making clothes that seem like they’ve already been worn. Not just worn – but never washed. The ‘Dirty Look’ can be seen from upmarket fashions such as Jean Paul Gaultier’s ‘Dirty Wash’ jacket for $525 to the more reasonable $19 dirty Chicago Cubs cap. Fashion watchers say the look sends the message that some sort of masculine activity has taken place. (And of course, ‘laundry’ would not be a masculine activity.)
– “ Chicago Sun-Times”

SCIENTISTS SAY:
A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … the more diapers a dad changes, the more attached the child becomes to him. And child-development specialists say the reverse is also true – the fewer the diaper changes, the less likely a child will turn to dad when needing consolation or care. (Talk about your crappy relationship!)
• Scientists say … that men and women differ genetically by 1-to-2%, the same amount of genetic difference that separates humans from chimps! MIT biologists say that means gender is the single greatest difference between members of the human species. (And we wonder why 50% of marriages go belly up.)
• Scientists say … the risk of Alzheimer’s rises by 30% for each hour per day of TV watched.  Case Western Reserve University researchers don’t think TV causes Alzheimer’s, it’s just another indicator of an inactive lifestyle. (And it also causes … um … er …)
• Scientists say … the old adage ‘forgive and forget’ not only makes you happier but also makes you healthier. Research shows that forgiving people reduces stress, makes your heart rate improve and keeps your blood pressure under control. On the other hand, nursing a grudge can cause tense muscles, elevated blood pressure, and – increased sweating. (So [co-host], smells like you’ve had some kind of altercation this morning …)

BS AMAZING FACT:
Electric guitar-maker Fender reports that women now account for HALF of its sales.
– “The Independent”

AND WE QUOTE:
“If your life sucks, it is because you suck. If your business sucks, it’s because your customer service sucks. Your delivery of services sucks. Your bosses suck. It’s real simple.”
– Motivational speaker Larry Winget, author of “Shut Up, Stop Whining and Get a Life: How to Take Personal Responsibility for Your Work and Life”.

THE BULL SHEET 02.04.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1962 [43] Clint Black, Long Branch NJ, country singer (“Something That We Do”)

1975 [30] Natalie Imbruglia, Sydney AUS, pop singer (“Torn”)/married to Silverchair lead singer Daniel Johns since 2003

1975 [30] Rick Burch, Mesa AZ, rock bassist (Jimmy Eat World-“The Middle”)

1977 [28] Gavin DeGraw, NYC, pop singer (“I Don’t Want To Be” [“One Tree Hill” theme song])

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
“Hockey Night in Canada” commentator Don Cherry is 71; Bassist Duff McKagan (Velvet Revolver) is 41; R&B singer Bobby Brown (Mr Whitney Houston) is 36; Country singer Sara Evans (“Tonight”) is 34.

SUNDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
Newly-retired NBC-TV news anchor Tom Brokaw is 65; Pop singer Natalie Cole (“Unforgettable”) is 55; Country singer Richie McDonald (Lonestar) is 43; Rock singer Axl Rose (Guns N’ Roses) is 43.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY a “Stop the Destruction” convoy of trucks and tractors will slowly travel from Ingersoll ON through downtown Toronto to arrive in Prescott ON, blocking Highway 401 and the International Bridge leading to the USA. Farmers and rural residents are participating in the blockade to protest government regulations.

TODAY is also –
• “Halfway Point of Winter”, at least statistically speaking. Environment Canada’s David Phillips notes that by many of the old farmers’ measures, FEBRUARY 15th actually marked the midpoint of winter (stone the bastard!). It may not seem like it but Winter is the shortest season, lasting 88 days, 23 hours, 57 minutes.
• “Thank a Letter Carrier Day”. Yeah, thanks for the bills, dude.
• “UN Torture Abolition Day”. In observance, tonight’s episode of the sitcom “Hope & Faith” has been cancelled.
• “National Wear Red Day for Women”, the 2nd-annual observance created by the American Heart Association to raise awareness about heart disease, the #1 cause of death among women in America.

SATURDAY is “National Weatherman’s (Person’s, Forecaster’s) Day”, commemorating the 1744 birth of Boston physician Dr John Jeffries, one of the first to keep detailed records of weather conditions [from 1774-1816].

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1920 [85] 1st ‘Snickers’ candy bars go on sale

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1926 [79] John Gila of NYC dances the Charleston for 22.5 hours

1982 [23] ‘Indoor Distance Record for a Paper Airplane’ set at 47 meters/154 feet (Tacoma WA)

COMING UP . . .
[Sun] Pay-A-Compliment Day
[Mon] Girls & Women in Sports Day
[Mon] Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbor Day
[Mon] Rose Monday
[Tues] Mardi Gras / Pancake Day
[Wed] Lent begins
[Wed] Chinese New Year (Year of the Rooster)
This Week Is . . . Crime Prevention Week / New Idea Week
This Month Is . . . Hot Breakfast Month / Caffeine Addiction Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS WHYZITS:
• Whyzit bad weather forecasts are more often right than good ones?
• If humans evolved from monkeys and apes, whyzit we still have monkeys and apes?
• Whyzit sheep don’t shrink when it rains?
• Whyzit we call them elevators when they go up AND down?
• Whyzit we say ‘funny as hell’? Is it because all the comedians are down there?
• Whyzit ‘his-and-hers gifts’ are always for her?
• Whyzit we say that we ‘lose’ our virginity when we know exactly where it went?
• If we’re not supposed to eat animals, whyzit they’re made of meat?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Which city has hosted the most Super Bowl games?
a. Miami
b. New Orleans. [CORRECT]
c. Anchorage.

• What happened at the 1941 “Academy Awards” ceremony for the first time?
a. Winners’ names were kept secret until the big night. [CORRECT]
b. A winner thanked herself for her own acting skills and no one else.
c. Joan Rivers did the first red-carpet interviews.

• FEBRUARY is “Black History Month”. What’s MARCH?
a. “Hispanic Heritage Month”.
b. “Women’s History Month”. [CORRECT]
c. A musical composition with a strongly accentuated beat.

• What did people once believe would happen if, on “Valentine’s Day”, a woman saw a robin?
a. She would marry a sailor. [CORRECT]
b. She would become pregnant within the year.
c. She would soon be wiping robin doo off her shoulder.
– “Maxim” Online

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• There is no ‘I’ in team. There is, however, a ‘me’.
• If my wife has taught me anything, it is this: No matter what in the world I am doing, I should be doing it differently.
• Don’t count your chickens before their eggs are all in one basket.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Wow, we’re already up to Super Bowl XXXIX [39]. If they play 100 Super Bowls, THIS one will have the most Roman numeral digits.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Super Bowl 88 would have 8 digits – LXXXVIII. (L=50, X=10, V=5, I=1)
NET: http://www.yourdictionary.com/crossword/romanums.html

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Getting a good deal is almost as important as thinking you’re getting a good deal.