Wednesday, February 2, 2005 Edition: #2961
Da Bull Saw His Shadow So You’re Getting 6 More Weeks of Sheet!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT “Crazy Canucks” airs on CTV, a made-for-TV movie about the 5 daredevil Canadian skiers who took the World Cup downhill circuit by storm in the mid-1970s (based on the book “White Circus” by Ken Read & Matthew Fisher) . . . A&E has won the bidding battle for “The Sopranos”, ponying up $2.5 million-per-episode to run ‘edited versions’ of reruns beginning NEXT FALL (after the language, adult content and violence are edited, each episode will run 4 minutes) . . . The Academy Awards are still more than 3 weeks away but already ‘Best Actress’ nominees Kate Winslet, Hilary Swank, Imelda Staunton, Annette Bening & Catalina Sandino Moreno have received $15,000-gift bags from Victoria’s Secret that include a ‘cosmetic survival kit’, a pink-sapphire & diamond brooch, as well as – black lace underwear (let’s just picture Imelda Staunton in black lace underwear … OK, let’s stop that right now) . . . “Daily Show” regular Lewis Black, famous for his hilarious rants, has signed a TV development deal with Sony for an eventual show ‘built around his cantankerous stage persona’ (translation: another lame sitcom) . . . And embattled entertainer Bill Cosby has reportedly now confessed to police that he DID, in fact, have relations with the Canadian woman accusing him of drugging and fondling her – but he claims it was ‘consensual’ (OK, now we’re just quibbling over price).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ashanti – TONIGHT she’s on “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Cher – The final performance (honest, she really means it this time) of her 3-year “Farewell Never Can Say Goodbye” tour is now scheduled for the Hollywood Bowl APRIL 30th, which will be the 325th concert in her seemingly endless tour.
• Clay Aiken – He’s helping to reinvigorate his hometown’s downtown by appearing in a video to help boost tourism and development in Raleigh NC.
• Gretchen Wilson – Due to her extremely busy schedule, she’s passed on a minor role in the upcoming movie “The Dukes Of Hazzard” in which she would have played a sheriff who arrests ‘Daisy Duke’, played by Jessica Simpson.
• Hilary Duff – THIS WEEK she claims she’s begun college, but rather than being in a classroom she’s taking her courses online. Maybe she can get one of those fake $29 diplomas from the ‘University of Liverpool’.
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – Flea has just gotten engaged to his model-girlfriend Frankie Rayder.
BS BUZZWORDS:
New cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘I-Play’ [aka ‘IDance’, ‘IDJ’ or ‘IParty’] – A new trend hitting clubs worldwide in which patrons are allowed to plug in their personal MP3 players (the name comes from Apple’s IPod) to the club’s sound system and guest-DJ for a short period. The more serious use 2 players so they can fade tunes and match up beats just like vinyl-based mixers.
• ‘WOMPs’ [White, Older Male, Protestants] – A newly-defined group coined by a Harvard University study. Researchers say WOMPs are among the least trusting segments of the overall population.
FIDO PHONE:
Coming soon – a bone-shaped cellphone for dogs! The gizmo attaches to the pooch’s collar so owners can always contact their pets. It’s also expected that police and search & rescue teams will find the device useful because it would allow commands to be issued to dogs out of earshot. A top-of-the-range version even boasts a video camera. (Just imagine what you’d be seeing from a ‘dog’s-eye’ view.)
– “The Sun”
I CAN’T, MOM. IT AIN’T HEALTHY!
New research from the UK’s Kingston University concludes that an unmade bed is not only unappealing to the eyes but also unappealing to house dust mites, which are thought to cause asthma and other allergies. The average bed can be home to as many as 1.5 million house dust mites, and when a bed is made up, it traps moisture in the sheets and mattress – ideal conditions for those mites. The bed bugs apparently have a harder time surviving in the drier conditions of an unmade bed. (So there’s your excuse … you’re welcome.)
– BBC News.
TATTOO YOU:
The 3 best things about good tattoos are the same as those for good real estate – location, location, location. The most popular places on men are the arm, shoulder, upper back and calf.
For women, the favorite locales are the small of the back, on the bikini line and the ankle. For both sexes, the most painful areas are behind the knees, between the toes, the spine, the inner arms, the middle of the sternum and the top of feet and hands. The least painful are the outer part of the forearm, the shoulder and the buttocks. (Actually, the biggest pain is in the wallet … when you want to get rid of all the pretty pictures later on.)
– “Globe & Mail”
BODY ADS, PART 3:
In the past couple weeks we’ve told you about temporary ad space being sold on a forehead and on cleavage, now a guy is selling tattooed ads – that are permanent! 31-year-old Joe Tamargo of Long Island NY listed the advertising opportunity on eBay. LAST WEEK a California pharmaceutical company agreed to pay $500 to post an ad for ‘pilldaddy.com’ on his right arm. Then a Website called SaveMartha.com purchased another section of the same arm for $510 to display the tattoo ‘Save Martha!’. (Hay dude, save some room on your forehead for a big ‘L’, okay?)
– AP
THE TALE OF THE TAPE:
British psychologists have run the first-ever scientific experiments to prove that ‘heightism’, which has always been associated with competition between men, also affects our perception of women. The study finds that taller women are perceived as ‘intelligent, assertive and independent’, while shorter women are thought to be more ‘considerate and nurturing’. Let’s see if this seems to prove true – “West Wing” star Alison Janney and “Kill Bill” actress Uma Thurman are both 6-ft-tall. But then, so is wacky singer Macy Gray … and Anna Nicole Smith is 5′-11″. (Hmm … intelligent?)
– “The Independent”/tallwomen.org
WIDE WORLD OF BS:
• A Swedish cop in the town of Bollnas has confessed that he robbed a bank in DECEMBER, then later investigated the crime himself, telling reporters at the time that police had no clues. (After his trial, he put on handcuffs and escorted himself to jail.)
• A group of Romanian villagers convinced that a local retired teacher was a vampire dug up his corpse after he died, ripped out his heart and cooked it with ash and water to make a ‘meaty drink’. They say it was the only way to protect themselves. A judge has disagreed and given them 6 years in the slammer. (Where the meals promise to be less ‘hearty’.)
• A Frankfurt, Germany man who bought 3 hand grenades at a flea market has been arrested for getting boozed up with buddies and tossing one out his window to see if it worked. It exploded between 2 apartment buildings but luckily no one was injured. (On the upside … he won the bet!)
• A Croatian doctor faces the ax after allegedly making patients wait for hours – while his pet crocodile had a checkup. Witnesses at a Zagreb hospital say the 4-foot reptile, which had stopped eating, was wheeled in on an operating table and examined with ultrasound for 2 hours while patients cooled their heels. (What a croc!)
• Anyonce for a tuna spritzer? A Chinese distillery has created the world’s first wine – made from fish! It may sound gross but the Dalian Fisherman’s Song Maritime Biological Brewery says it uses cleaned, pulverized and fermented fish to make a new concoction that’s not only nutritious but low in alcohol content. (But wouldn’t you need to be hammered to try it?)
BS AMAZING FACT:
Only 1-6th of the eyeball can be seen outside the human body. (Unless you’re Susan Sarandon.)
AND WE QUOTE:
• “Celebrities have a responsibility to know absolutely what they’re talking about, and to be in it for the long run.” – Actress Angelina Jolie at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, advising celebs not to jump on the charity bandwagon without making a legitimate commitment.
• “I think they should have been cast in bronze at some point because there’s been so much hysteria surrounding them.” – “Desperate Housewives” star Teri Hatcher once again denying reports that her boobs are fake.
• “I loved ‘Spider-Man’ but I’m not too sure Tobey Maguire could kick a lot of people’s asses.” – The Rock telling “Playboy” mag what it takes to be a true action hero.
THE BULL SHEET 02.02.2K5
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1942 [63] Graham Nash, Blackpool UK, oldies singer (Crosby, Stills & Nash-“Suite: Judy Blue Eyes”, Hollies-“Bus Stop”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1997)
1971 [34] Ben Mize, San Francisco CA, rock drummer (Counting Crows-“Big Yellow Taxi”, “Mr Jones”)
1977 [28] Shakira (Mebarak Ripoll), Barranquilla COL, pop singer (“Underneath Your Clothes”, “Whenever, Wherever”) FACTOID: Shakira is Arabic for ‘full of grace’.
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Groundhog Day”. As the old saying goes, if the groundhog sees his shadow, 6 more weeks of winter will ensue. The tradition stems from the Christian celebration of Candlemas – an old Scottish poem proclaims, “If Candlemas is fair and clear, there’ll be two winters in the year.” In Mexico, TODAY is known as “Dia de la Candelaria”, a big day for bullfights and festivals.
TODAY is the 10th annual “Job Shadow Day” in America, as an expected 1 million students shadow workplace mentors on-the-job. (Similar to “Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day”)
NET: http://www.jobshadow.org
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1876 [129] Baseball’s ‘National League’ is founded (Boston, Chicago, Cincinnati, NYC, Philadelphia, St Louis, Louisville and Hartford)
1935 [70] 1st test of polygraph or ‘lie detector’ (Leonard Keeler-Portage WI)
1931 [74] 1st use of a rocket to deliver mail, in Austria (you can tell the mail’s arrived by the hole in the living room ceiling)
1964 [41] 1st ‘GI Joe’ (called ‘action figures’ because it’s feared there’s no market for guys and ‘dolls’)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1977 [28] NHL record ‘Most Goals in a Game by a Defencemen’ (Toronto’s Ian Turnbull scores 5 as Leafs beat Detroit Red Wings 9-1)
COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Bifocals at the Monitor Liberation Day
[Thurs] Men’s Grooming Day
[Fri] Midpoint of Winter
[Sat] Weatherman’s Day
[Sat] Dump Your Significant Jerk Day
[Sat] SAG Awards
[Sun] Super Bowl 39
[Sun] Bob Marley’s 60th Birthday Celebration
This Week Is . . . Junior Achievement Week
This Month Is . . . Children’s Dental Health Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
BEST ALL-TIME MOVIE LINES:
According to a survey of “Entertainment Weekly” readers, some of the best words ever uttered in motion pictures include …
• “You had me at hello.”
– ‘Dorothy Boyd’ (Reneé Zellweger) in “Jerry Maguire”.
• “I’ll have what she’s having.”
– Female diner (Estelle Reiner) in “When Harry Met Sally”.
• “You know how to whistle, don’t you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow.”
– ‘Marie Browning’ (Lauren Bacall) in “To Have & Have Not”.
• “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
– ‘Inigo Montoya’ (Mandy Patinkin) in “The Princess Bride”.
• “You’re not too smart, are you? I like that in a man.
– ‘Matty Walker’ (Kathleen Turner) in “Body Heat”.
SUPER BOWL TRUTH OR BS?
Are the following statements about the Super Bowl true or just a load of BS?
• Two-thirds of all avocados are sold within 3 weeks of Super Bowl Sunday in order for pigskin fans to make guacamole. [BS]
• One of “Charlie’s Angels” once performed the national anthem before a Super Bowl. [TRUE. Cheryl Ladd, who played ‘Kris Munroe’ on the TV series from 1977-81, did the duty in 1980.]
• The only entertainment at Super Bowl 1 was provided by marching bands. [TRUE. Pregame and half-time shows featured the University of Arizona, Grambling University, and University of Michigan bands.]
• Sewage systems of major cities have broken down due to the tremendous number of toilets being flushed simultaneously at half-time. [BS]
• The team that wins the Super Bowl is an indicator of whether the stock market will go up or down throughout the year. [The so-called ‘Super Bowl Indicator’ has proven TRUE more than 80% of the time. It states that if a triumphant team from the old AFL (now the AFC) foreshadows a down market, but a winner from the old NFL (now the NFC) means the stock market will go up.]
• About 50% more women watch the Academy Awards than the Super Bowl. [BS. Far more watch the Super Bowl.]
• The Super Bowl is broadcast in Vatican City, even though the game is played on a Sunday. [TRUE.]
• The name ‘Super Bowl’ comes from a kids’ toy. [TRUE. In its first 2 years, the game was called the ‘AFL-NFL World Championship’. Then Lamar Hunt, owner of the Kansas City Chiefs, came up with its new enduring name after seeing a toy called ‘Super Ball’.]
• The cheapest tickets for Super Bowl 1 cost just $6. [TRUE.]
• Ray Charles performed at Super Bowl 35. [TRUE. He sang “America The Beautiful”.]
• Dallas Cowboys have played in the most Super Bowls. [TRUE. They’ve played in 8, won 5.]
• The term ‘Nipplegate’ was coined to refer to Janet Jackson’s performance before last year’s Super Bowl. [BS … trick question. She didn’t perform pre-game, it was at half-time.]
– “Charlotte Observer”/superbowl.com/snopes.com
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Of all the fruits, THIS one has the most calories.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Avacado.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Computers can never replace human stupidity.
