Tuesday, February 24, 2004        Edition: #2731
Another Sheetload of Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY “Lord of the Rings” stars Elijah Wood & Dominic Monaghan (‘Frodo’ & ‘Merry’) will ride floats in “Mardi Gras” parades in New Orleans as ‘celebrity monarchs’ (tiny little monarchs with oversized heads) . . . TONIGHT “American Idol” discoveries Kelly Clarkson & Clay Aiken co-headline a national tour that begins in Charlotte NC . . . ABC-TV has reassembled the ‘Seaver’ family from the classic 1985-1992 sitcom “Growing Pains” for a reunion special to air in MAY (the show starred teen heart-throb Kirk Cameron who has since become a minister) . . . Word has it NY Yankee shortstop and infamous ladies’ man Derek Jeter has been keeping tennis bombshell Anna Kournikova amused while her on-and-off boyfriend Enrique Iglesias has been on tour (maybe he’s renting her out?) . . . . Actress Gwyneth Paltrow is planning to give birth to her & hubby Chris Martin’s baby at mother Blythe Danner’s Los Angeles home in MAY and has already installed a state-of-the-art ‘birthing pool’ in preparation (this sounds like fodder for a future Coldplay tune) . . . Jennifer Aniston has reportedly offered to make cameo appearances on Matt LeBlanc’s upcoming “Friends” spin-off, “Joey” (even with her help, think it has a chance of surviving?) . . . And ever tactful Pink has made Prince Albert of Monaco blush at a social gathering by blurting out, “Albert, there’s a dick piercing named after you!” (the ‘Prince Albert Piercing’ is apparently the most popular male genital piercing … ouch!).

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over“ (Family Adventure – DVD/VHS): Spy kid ‘Carmen’ (Alexa Vega) is caught in a virtual reality game designed by the family’s new nemesis, the ‘Toymaker’ (Sylvester Stallone). It’s up to ‘Juni’ (Daryl Sabara) to save his sister, and ultimately the world. Antonio Banderas, Carla Gugino & Ricardo Montalban also return for this 2nd sequel. The VHS version is in 2-D, the DVD comes in both 2-D and 3-D – with 4 sets of 3-D glasses.
• “Matchstick Men” (Crime Comedy – DVD/VHS): Nicolas Cage plays a phobic con artist who’s on the verge of pulling off a lucrative swindle when the 14-year-old daughter he didn’t know he had unexpectedly shows up. Alison Lohman & Sam Rockwell co-star.
• “Pieces of April” (Comedy – DVD): Katie Holmes (ex-“Dawson’s Creek”) plays a rebellious daughter who attempts to make amends for her past by creating the ‘perfect’ Thanksgiving dinner for her family in her grubby NYC apartment. A comedy of errors ensues. Patricia Clarkson, who plays the cancer-ridden mother, is up for an Academy Award.
• “The Missing” (Western – DVD): Cate Blanchett plays a young woman raising 2 daughters in an isolated and lawless wilderness. When the oldest (Evan Rachel Wood) is kidnaped by a psychopathic killer, the mother is forced to re-unite with the girl’s long estranged father (Tommy Lee Jones) to rescue her. Directed by Ron Howard.

PANTS ON FIRE:
For a new study on honesty in communication, Cornell University researcher Jeff Hancock had students keep a personal communications diary, noting how many lies they told during live conversations, phone calls, instant messages and e-mails. Some of the surprising results …
• Lies made up 14% of e-mails, 21% of instant messages, 27% of live conversations and 37% of phone calls.
• People were more likely to lie when interaction was in real time (conversation, instant message or phone call) because lies are often spontaneous responses to unexpected questions. (Things like “How’s your hubby doing?”, “Do you like my new dress?”, “What do you think of the new boss?” … even “How are you today?”)
Source: “New Scientist”

OLDIES BUT GOODIES:
A new study by the Center for Future Studies entitled “From Blue Rinse to Blue Jeans” suggests that life for people over-50 will become better than ever by the year 2030 thanks to advances in technology and healthcare. If you’re 20 today, here’s what the study says you have to look forward to …
• The number of people over 60 will rise by 40% over the next 30 years.
• Life expectancy will increase to over 87 years for women and over 81 years for men.
• New medical devices, such as beds with monitors to check blood pressure and other vital signs, will allow people to monitor their own health and provide early warning of potential problems.
• The abolition of compulsory retirement will allow people to continue employment into their 70s and 80s in home offices or satellite work centers with flexible schedules.
• The ‘silver surfer’ generation will embrace all kinds of new technologies that allow them to enjoy healthy lives filled with travel, sports and greater independence.
Source: “London Daily Telegraph”

RICH SICKIES:
Talk about your two-tiered medical care! A new healthcare trend variously called ‘concierge care’, ‘retainer practice’ or ‘boutique medicine’ is quickly growing across the US. Whatever you  call it, the idea is the same – people of means pay extra (a lot extra) for access to upscale personalized medical care, including things like same-day appointments, luxury waiting rooms and extra time with doctors. The trend is also being driven by physicians who want smaller (but just as profitable) practices. (Hey, you still eventually die … even at a grand-an-hour.)
Source: “Birmingham News”

MOVIES ONLINE:
THIS WEEK Ottawa entrepreneur Rob Hall officially launched Canada’s first online DVD rental company called ‘Zip’. Here’s how it works – for a fee of $24.95 a month, club members get unlimited DVD rentals from 15,000 titles, up to 3 at any given time, which they can watch at their leisure. Zip mails the product within 2 days. Customers then return the DVDs in a postage-paid mailer in order to exchange for other titles. There are no deadlines and thus no late fees. The goal is to have 100,000 monthly subscribers by the end of the year. To entice customers, Zip is giving away 2-week free trials. Sounds too good to be true, especially the part where you rely on Canada Post for delivery.
NET: http://www.zip.ca
Source: “Globe & Mail”

FASHION STATEMENT:
Thanks to popular T-shirts from a company called ‘David & Goliath’, boy-bashing has become chic among teen girls. The tees feature provocative slogans such as ‘Boys Are Smelly’, ‘Boys Are Stupid – Throw Rocks at Them’, ‘Boys Are Goobers – Drop Anvils on Their Heads’ and ‘Boys Lie – Make Them Cry’. So, whadya think? Sexist or just dumb? Would they be considered as cute if they were slogans about girls on boys’ apparel?
NET: http://www.davidandgoliathtees.com
Source: “San Francisco Chronicle”

FOR THE RECORD:
• University of California-Davis student Dan Meyer has claimed the world record for ‘longest paperclip chain made by an individual in 24 hours’ after linking some 40,000 into a 5,340-foot chain. That beats the previous world record by almost 2,500 feet. To complete it, he averaged 1 paperclip every 1.6 seconds.
• British deep sea diver Lloyd Scott has become the first to watch a DVD while fully submerged underwater. The stunt was pulled off using an 6-by-8-foot screen in a tank at the London Aquarium where he watched – “Finding Nemo”, of course.

BS AMAZING FACT:
1 in 10 drivers has never had their eyes tested.

THE BULL SHEET 02.24.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1951 [53] Helen Shaver, St Thomas ON, movie actress (“The Craft”, “The Color of Money”)

1951 [53] Debra Jo Rupp, Glendale CA, TV actress (‘Kitty Forman’ on “That ’70s Show” since 1998)

1955 [49] Steve Jobs, San Francisco CA, CEO of Pixar Animation Studios (“Finding Nemo”, “Monsters Inc”, “Toy Story”)/Apple Computer CEO & co-founder with Steve Wozniak (1977)

1956 [48] Paula Zahn, Omaha NE, CNN TV anchor (“Paula Zahn Now”)

1958 [46] Sammy Kershaw, Kaplan LA, country singer (“Your Tattoo”, “Cadillac Style”)

1965 [39] Kristin Davis, Boulder CO, TV actress (‘Charlotte York’ on “Sex and The City” 1998-2004)  FACTOID: On the series finalé, ‘Charlotte’ and her husband ‘Harry’ (formerly her divorce lawyer) finally got their wish to adopt a baby girl from China.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Shrove Tuesday”, always 46 days before Easter, a day of feasting before Lent that is observed worldwide in various ways …
• It’s the climax of “Mardi Gras” (“Fat Tuesday“) and “Carnival” celebrations around-the-world. (New Orleans, Rio, Nice, etc)
• It’s also observed as “Pancake Day”. Since 1445 women in Olney, England have participated in a “Pancake Race”, running a 415-yard, ‘S’-shaped course while flipping a pancake in a skillet. Liberal, Kansas joined the custom in 1950, and the two cities now compete with one-another.
• It’s “Bursting Day” in Iceland, when the locals feast on salted mutton and thick pea soup. (Yuck … also known as ‘Hurling Day’.)
• Polish communities celebrate “Paczki Day” (poonch-kee) by mowing down on round, sugar-coated, fruit-filled pre-Lenten pastries called ‘paczkis’.

TODAY is  10th annual “Spay Day USA”, to promote spaying & neutering as a primary means of saving animal lives. Thousands of adoptable animals are killed every year in America simply because there are not enough homes for them. This year’s theme – ‘Be PET-riotic’. In Texas, the “Neuter Scooter For a Nickel” promotion will be held TODAY, when the nonprofit ‘Spay-Neuter Assistance Program’ (‘SNAP’) is expected to neuter more than 1,500 cats statewide @ 5 cents apiece.
NET: http://www.ddaf.org/SpayDay

TODAY is “National Tortilla Chip Day”. Well, that certainly makes planning tonight’s dinner a lot easier, doesn’t it?

THIS WEEK is “National Read Me Week”, a week to wear readable clothing. What’s the best shirt slogan you’ve seen?

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1976 [28] “The Eagles: Their Greatest Hits” becomes the 1st certified ‘platinum’ (2 million units) album (now the best-selling album all-time at 28 million units … and counting)

1998 [06] Sir Elton John is knighted by Queen Elizabeth II

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1582 [422] The system of days, months and years used on modern calendars is 1st proclaimed by Pope Gregory XII – the ‘Gregorian Calendar’

1914 [90] Clarence Crane invents “Life Savers”, what he calls ‘a hole encased in candy’

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1988 [16] Luciano Pavarotti receives 165 curtain calls after an opera performance in Berlin

1999 [05] Lauryn Hill sets Grammy Awards record for female artists with 5 trophies (then where’d she go?)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Ash Wednesday (Lent begins)
[Wed] “The Passion of the Christ” opens in movie theaters
[Thurs] National For Pete’s Sake Day
[Fri] International Polar Bear Day
[Sun] “Canadian Idol” auditions (St John’s NL)
[Sun] 76th Academy Awards
This Week Is . . . Eating Disorders Awareness Week
This Month Is . . . Canned Food Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS BIZARRE DISEASE OR FIGURE SKATING MOVE?
While you run down the list rapid fire, your contestant must determine whether each item is an oddly-named disease or syndrome, or a move executed in figure skating …
Toe Walley [Figure Skating]
Swizzles [Figure Skating]
Creutzfeldt-Jakob [Disease]
Double Stag [Figure Skating]
Mazurka [Figure Skating]
Jumping Frenchmen of Maine [Disease]
Half Lutz [Figure Skating]
Wandering Spleen [Disease]
Falling Leaf [Figure Skating]
Walking Corpse [Disease]
Delayed Axel [Figure Skating]
Scrapie [Disease]
Russian Split [Figure Skating]
Sepsis [Disease]
Dengue [Disease]
Stringhalt [Disease]
Death Drop [Figure Skating]
Alice-in-Wonderland [Disease]
Bunny Hop [Figure Skating]
Lunge [Figure Skating]

WEB GOODIE:
The judges on “American Idol” absolutely scalded auditioning contestant William Hung for his gotta-see-it-to-believe-it rendition of Ricky Martin’s “She Bangs”. That turned out to be good news for him – he was so incredibly bad, he’s become a freakin’ icon and is scheduled to make another appearance on the show TOMORROW night. Scroll down to the bottom of his Web page for several DJ  remixes of his pitiful performance – including a duet with Ricky Martin.
NET: http://www.williamhung.net

TODAY’S E-MAIL:
“Dear Morning Crew: In your opinion is Donald Trump’s hair real? Signed, Curious.”
Yes, Curious, we believe The Donald’s hair is the real thing. We believe this mainly because no self-respecting toupee maker would allow a customer to walk out the door looking that bad.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 6% of all gold purchased is used for THIS very specific purpose.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Graduation rings.

BS DEEP THOUGHTS:
• No wonder people are so horrible when they start life as children.
• A radio consultant is someone who knows how to get there but can’t drive the car.