Friday, February 20, 2004        Edition: #2729
Here’s Sheet in Your Eye!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY a memorial service for ‘Keiko’ the killer whale will be held at the Oregon Coast Aquarium, where the 6-ton hero of the “Free Willy” movies lived from 1996-98 (they decided on a memorial service rather than a full-blown funeral because they couldn’t find anyone who wanted to be a pallbearer) . . . SUNDAY is the series finalé of “Sex & the City” on HBO, which was apparently shot with 3 different endings to keep the outcome secret . . . SUNDAY Regis Philbin returns to ABC-TV with a new version of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” called “Super Millionaire” in which all prize levels are multiplied by 10 (airs 5 times in 6 days) . . . SUNDAY a tribute concert tour celebrating the legacy of Jimi Hendrix launches in Seattle WA . . . SUNDAY the annual “SAG Awards” will be handed out as the run-up to the Oscars continues, and 91-year-old actor Karl Malden will receive the ‘Screen Actors Guild Lifetime Achievement Award’ . . . Even though her reality show was canceled, Anna Nicole Smith is back with another E! show on SUNDAY called “Anna Nicole Bares It All”, which follows her around as she prepares for her first modeling job in years . . . Johnny Depp has won the ‘Pink Lung Award’ at the 9th annual “Hackademy Awards” for his smoke-free performance in “Pirates of the Caribbean”, while Diane Keaton won the ‘Black Lung Award’ for puffing her way through “Something’s Got to Give” . . . The guys from Aerosmith will appear as spectators at a sporting event in “Be Cool”, the sequel to 1995’s “Get Shorty” that begins shooting NEXT WEEK in LA (likely to entice them onto the movie’s soundtrack) . . . 40-year-old Whitney Houston stunned fans at a concert in Russia by declaring she’s pregnant (if true it would be her 2nd, but hubby Bobby Browns 5th) . . . OutKast is getting ready to shoot their first film in MAY, an HBO movie to be called “Speakerboxxx” (what else?), reportedly a 1930s-style musical . . .  It looks like Madonna is going on tour again – audition calls have been posted for backup dancers to begin rehearsing for a MAY tour . . . And according to “Us Weekly”, Liza Minnelli’s wacko estranged husband David Gest is now engaged to wed Motown legend & convicted drunk driver Diana Ross, who served 2 days in the slammer earlier THIS MONTH (oops, guess he’s out of cash again!).

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Against The Ropes” (Drama): Meg Ryan plays a boxing promoter struggling to survive and succeed in a male-dominated sport. A fictional story inspired by North America’s most famous female boxing promoter, Jackie Kallen. Filmed on location in Hamilton and Toronto.
• “Welcome to Mooseport” (Comedy): “Everybody loves Raymond’s” Ray Romano, the highest-paid TV actor ever at an estimated $43-million-a-season, makes his movie debut as a small-town candidate for mayor whose competitor is – a US president (Gene Hackman) who’s been defeated in his bid for re-election. Scuttlebutt is this film’s box office performance will help Romano decide whether he has a future in movies or will continue on with his TV show.
• “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen” (Comedy): Lindsay Lohan plays a teenager whose life changes drastically when her family moves from Greenwich Village in NYC to the New Jersey suburb of Dellwood, where she’s no longer the most popular kid around.
• “Eurotrip” (Comedy): A no-name road trip movie about 4 high school buds who travel to Europe so one of them can meet his online pen pal from Germany – who turns out to be female and gorgeous. From the producers of “Road Trip” and “Old School”.

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
• 70% of us say we fantasize about someone else when making love.
• 48% of women want “Sex & the City’s” ‘Carrie’ to end up with ex-boyfriend ‘Mr Big’ in SUNDAY’s series finalé.
• 40% of us say we believe in love at first sight.
• 40% of couples first discuss marriage in a vehicle.
• 38% of men say they love their cars more than women.
• About 6% of all marriage proposals are made over the telephone.

THE BUCKS STOP HERE:
Americans aged 50 and up now control $7-trillion or 70% of all US wealth, bring in $2-trillion of annual income and account for 50% of all discretionary spending. Yet they are the target of only about 5% of advertising.
Source: Age Wave think-tank, San Francisco CA.

WILD WORLD OF BS:
•  A study of the world’s most secure places by science magazine “Focus” finds that the presidential plane Air Force One and the bank vault at Fort Knox are among the tops, along with – a  parking lot in Derby, England. The lot has video cameras, panic buttons, special entry doors and bar-coded tickets. It hasn’t had a single break-in or act of vandalism in its 6-year history.
• Before leaving on vacation, a Howard, Wisconsin man put his 3 handguns and all his ammo in the oven in case someone broke in while he and his wife were away. After returning from their trip THIS WEEK – you guessed it – the wife turned on the oven to make dinner, the bullets ignited, and all hell broke loose. Fortunately, no one was hurt.
• Looking to get away from it all … permanently? “Zoo Weekly“ magazine is offering readers the chance to win a holiday with a difference – the winner will spend 2 weeks with a tribe in Papua New Guinea without maps, phones or any other luxuries. The bad news is – the Korowai tribe are cannibals. The tour guide promises nobody will be eaten … honest.
• A 37-year-old Swedish hockey goalie has won a court case asking for compensation due to a work-related injury. The ‘injury’? Anders Bogsjo claims the Elfsborg team dumped him after 7 years  – because his voice had become hoarse from yelling directions at his teammates.

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Marriages lasting more than 13 years are more likely to end in death than divorce.
• $871 million was spent on Botox treatments in 2003, at an average cost of $384 apiece.
Source: American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery

THE BULL SHEET 02.20.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1941 [63] Buffy (Beverly) Sainte-Marie, Piapot Reserve SK, folk singer/songwriter (“Until It’s Time For You to Go”, “Up Where We Belong”)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (1999)/Canadian Music Hall of Fame (1995)

1950 [54] Walter Becker, NYC, classic rock musician (Steely Dan-“Reeling in the Years”, “Do It Again”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2001)

1966 [38] Cindy Crawford, DeKalb IL, fashion model (over 600 magazine covers, 1st supermodel to pose for “Playboy”)/ex-Mrs Richard Gere/Mrs Rande Gerber since 1998  RANDOM THOUGHT: Shouldn’t she be on “Celebrity Mole”?

1975 [29] Brian Littrell, Lexington KY, washed-up pop singer (Backstreet Boys-“Drowning”, “Shape of My Heart”)/cousin of BSB’s Kevin Richardson

1978 [26] Lauren Ambrose, New Haven CT, TV actress (the daughter ‘Claire Fisher’-“Six Feet Under” since 2001)

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [58] Tyne Daly, Madison WI, TV actress (2003 Emmy Award as ‘Maxine Gray’-“Judging Amy” since 1999, 4 Emmys-“Cagney & Lacey” 1982-88)/Broadway actress (Tony Award-“Gypsy” 1990)

1953 [51] William Petersen, Evanston IL, TV actor (‘Gil Grissom’-“CSI: Crime Scene Investigation” since 2000)  FACTOID: In the MARCH issue of “Playboy” he says he’s quitting the series after next season because he’s unhappy with CBS-TV for cloning the series … twice (“CSI:Miami” and the upcoming “CSI: New York”).

1955 [49] Kelsey Grammar, St Thomas US Virgin Is, $1.6-million-per-episode TV actor (3 Emmy Awards-“Frasier” since 1993)/Betty Ford Clinic alumnus  FACTOID: After this 11th and final season of “Frasier”, he will have matched the record for longest role portrayed by a single actor on primetime TV at 20 years (‘Frasier Crane’, which began on “Cheers” in 1984). The record is currently held by James Arness for ‘Marshall Matt Dillon’ on “Gunsmoke” (1955-1975).

1958 [46] Mary Chapin Carpenter, Princeton NJ, country singer (“Down at the Twist and Shout”, “I Feel Lucky”)

1971 [33] Eric Heatherly, Chattanooga TN, country singer (“Flowers On The Wall”, “Swimming in Champagne”)

1976 [28] Ryan Smyth, Banff AB, NHL forward (Edmonton Oilers, 2002 Canadian Olympic gold medal team)

1979 [25] Jennifer Love Hewitt, Waco TX, movie actress (“The Tuxedo”, “I [Still] Know What You Did Last Summer”)/sometime singer (“Bare Naked”)  UP NEXT: “Garfield: The Movie”

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Northern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo Day”, when at noon local time you’re encouraged to go outdoors and yell ‘HOODIE-HOO!!!!’ at the top of your lungs to relieve winter blahs and encourage the arrival of spring. (Could make an interesting on-air bit with callers.)

TODAY is “Call An Old Friend Day”, a day to phone someone you haven’t talked to in a very
long time. (Isn’t there likely a reason you haven’t talked in a very long time?)

TOMORROW is “Card Reading Day”, which either has something to do with tarot cards or getting around to reading all your Christmas cards so you can finally toss them out.

TOMORROW is “International Residence Hall Student Staff Recognition Day” (aka ‘Pay Back the Weasels Day’).

TOMORROW is UN “International Mother Language Day”. (I took Latin … it was a real mother all right.)

SUNDAY is “World Thinking Day”, an annual celebration of Boy Scouts/Girl Guides founders Lord & Lady Baden-Powell’s joint birthday. Scouts and Guides are encouraged to ‘think’ of good deeds.

THIS WEEKEND is “Second Honeymoon Weekend”, set aside for all couples to spend quality time together away from ‘the grind and routine of their daily lives’. Suggestions?

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1993 [11] Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” logs a record 14th week at #1 on “Billboard” chart

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1937 [67] 1st ‘flying car’, combination auto/airplane, is tested (‘Aeromobile’-Santa Monica CA)

1945 [59] 1st ‘family allowance’ cheques issued in Canada (‘baby bonus’)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1996 [08] Orlando Magic set NBA record for ‘home wins at start of season’ (28-0)

1998 [06] 15-year-old US figure skater Tara Lipinski becomes youngest gold medal winner in Winter Olympics history (Nagano, Japan)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[1 month from today] Spring begins (hurray!)
[Sun] Shrovetide / Carnival Week begins
[Sun] Awal Muharram (Islamic New Year [1425])
[Mon] “Canadian Idol” auditions (Halifax NS)
[Mon] International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day
[Mon] Rose Monday
[Tues] Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday) / Pancake Day
[Tues] Spay Day USA
This Week Is . . . Child Passenger Safety Awareness Week
This Month Is . . . Potato Lover’s Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS WACKED LAWS:
• In Beaconsfield QC, it is considered an offence to have more than 2 materials on the outside of one’s house.
• In London, England it’s illegal to make love on a parked motorcycle.
• In Devon, Connecticut it is illegal to walk backwards after sunset.
• It is illegal to kiss on railways in France.
• In Denmark no one may start a car while someone is underneath the vehicle.
• A man can be arrested for wearing a skirt in Italy.
• In Switzerland, it is illegal to flush the toilet after 10 pm if you live in an apartment.
• In Hawthorne, Oklahoma it is illegal to put a hypnotized person in a display window.
• In Bloemfontein, South Africa young people wearing bathing suits are prohibited from sitting less than 12 inches apart.
• Picking one’s nose on the Sabbath is illegal in Israel.
Source: “Dumb Laws”

BUZZ INDEX:
The week’s most-searched terms on the Internet …
1. “The Passion of the Christ” (Mel Gibson’s epic opens next WEDNESDAY)
2. Britney Spears (thanks in part to Stacie Orrico calling her fashion sense ‘degrading’)
3. Beyoncé (after she shook her thang at the Brit Awards)
Source: Yahoo!

BS TRIVIA:
Q: Aside from common words like ‘the’ or ‘and’, what word appears most often in movie titles?
A: The word ‘love’ appears in more movie titles than any other word – a total of 9,814 … and counting.
Source: Internet Movie DataBase

BS BLATANT JOKE:
A blonde female police officer pulls over a blonde in a sports car for speeding. She walks up to the car and asks the blonde for her driver’s license. The blonde driver searches through her purse in vain. Finally she asks, “What does it look like?” The blonde police officer tells her, “It’s that thing with your picture on it.” The blonde driver searches for a few more seconds, pulls out her compact, opens it and sure enough sees herself. She hands the compact to the blonde cop. After a few seconds looking at the compact, the blonde cop rolls her eyes, hands the compact back to the blonde driver and says, “If you would have told me you were a police officer when I first pulled you over we could have avoided this whole thing!”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Children who’ve experienced THIS common occurrence are more likely to have emotional and behavioral problems.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Children in families that have moved 3 or more times, according to the National Center for Health Statistics.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The only time a female succeeds at changing a male is when he’s a baby.