Tuesday, February 17, 2004 Edition: #2726
We’re Bullish on Radio!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT the UK version of the Grammys, the annual “Brit Awards”, will be handed out in London and it looks like Beyoncé is set to steal the show again, with 2 nominations and a scheduled performance with Outkast (also performing – Black Eyed Peas, Dido, 50 Cent, Duran Duran, and a trio made up of Missy Elliott, Alicia Keys & Gwen Stefani) . . . Actress Jennifer Aniston has doubled her movie fee since finishing up shooting on “Friends”, now demanding $10 million-a-film (must be based on that huge hit “Along Came Polly”?) . . . “American Idol” judge Paula Abdul has splurged on a new $300 Donald Pliner shearling jacket – for her pet Chihuahua . . . Buzz has it Madonna has had a ‘very subtle and high quality facelift’ . . . Aging actress Britt Ekland is threatening to take legal action to block release of an upcoming biopic about her late ex-husband, “The Life & Death of Peter Sellers “, claiming it’s based on an unauthorized biography (she should be thrilled to be played by Charlize Theron, with Geoffrey Rush as Sellers) . . . Production on the FOX-TV hit “24″ is being put on hold until star Kiefer Sutherland’s mug heals – he needed 6 stitches after his face was slashed in an LA bar fight LAST WEEK . . . Elton John’s new “Red Piano Revue” at Caesars Palace in Vegas includes a film backdrop for “The Bitch Is Back” showing some oh-so-sexy pole-dancing by none other than Pamela Anderson . . . Even though the WB has officially pulled the plug on the David Boreanaz series “Angel”, word has it may be resurrected as early as NEXT YEAR – as a movie . . . Lance Bass has confirmed *NSYNC is still together and ‘100%’ committed to going ahead with another album project . . . And a software glitch at Amazon.com’s Canadian Website has revealed that ‘anonymous’ Amazon reviews of best-sellers are being written by – the authors themselves (always wondered how romances got described as ‘Riveting!’).
NEW IN VIDEO STORES TODAY:
• “The Runaway Jury” (Legal Thriller – DVD): Another John Grisham novel-turned-movie, this one starring Gene Hackman as a ruthless jury consultant who will stop at nothing to secure a verdict, and John Cusack as a jury member who has an agenda of his own. Co-stars Dustin Hoffman & Rachel Weisz.
• “Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star” (Comedy – DVD): David Spade plays an out-of-work former child-actor-turned-parking-valet who is desperate to audition for a great new movie role that would revitalize his career.
• “Masked & Anonymous” (Musical Satire – DVD): A traveling troubadour (Bob Dylan) is sprung from jail by his scheming former manager (John Goodman) to headline a peace concert. The soundtrack features Bob Dylan classics, previously unreleased material, and original songs performed by Dylan & many other artists. Co-stars Jeff Bridges, Penelope Cruz, Jessica Lange, & Luke Wilson.
• “Mambo Italiano” (Romantic Comedy – DVD): Paul Sorvino & Ginette Reno play a conservative couple whose close-knit immigrant Italian world is shattered when their son moves into his own place with his childhood buddy – who also happens to be his gay lover. (Sort of “My Big Fat Italian Wedding”.)
IF YOU WEREN’T BEFORE, YOU ARE NOW:
The UN’s World Health Organization forecasts that by the year 2020, depression will be the most prevalent disease we have in the world. (Note to self – put entire life savings into Prozac shares.)
B-O TOX:
Doctors in Germany have found that the anti-aging treatment Botox may have a bonus use – as an antiperspirant. When injected into the armpits, it can stop sweating for up to a year. That could be a lifesaver for those who perspire so much that their social life is ruined, but there is a bit of a problem – it costs over $500 per treatment. At that price, the ultimate deodorant is so far only accessible for the wealthy – models and celebs, for instance. (I’ll stick with roll-on, even if I will suffer from wrinkly armpits in my old age.)
ARE YOU AVERAGE?:
According to a lifestyle study at the University of North Dakota, the average person has 7 bad habits (does biting your toenails count?). And — just to prove nobody’s perfect — researchers failed to find anyone that had NO bad habits.
HANG ONTO YOUR PANTS:
Levi’s has released a new line of jeans that are labeled ‘Severely Distressed’ with a press release saying recent trends dictate more ‘emotionally complex apparel’. In other words, Levi’s is trying to catch up with the so-called ‘Bohemian Look’ which became popular in 2003. Teens are now eager to wear jeans that feature spray-painted stains of grass, dirt, and feces. Not to be outdone, Abercrombie & Fitch will market ‘Frazzled Jeans’ and The Gap has a new line of pre-distressed wear called ‘TormeNTed’. (Those jeans you used to only wear while house painting? Quick … get ‘em back out of the trash!)
STAND BY YOUR BIRD:
“Science News” notes that only a minority of animals ‘divorce’ … because only a few are monogamous to begin with. Only about 5% of mammals pick a life-mate, as well as 9,000 bird species. The most loyal – Australian Ravens and the Waved Albatross. The human divorce rate compares closest to the ‘Masked Booby’.
MAKING ALLOWANCES:
How much should you be paying your kids as an allowance? Neale Godfrey, author of “Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees: A Parent’s Guide to Raising Financially Responsible Children”, recommends $1-per-week for each year of the child’s age. But in addition to chores to earn their allowance, she also recommends your kids have regular ‘citizen-of-the-household’ chores that are NOT linked to money. And here’s how they’re supposed to divide up their loot – 10% to charity, the rest dispersed equally to quick cash, savings, and a higher education fund.
PHONER: 973-313-9800 (Eagles Talent Connection, South Orange NJ)
THE BULL SHEET 02.17.2K4
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1954 [50] Rene Russo, Burbank CA, movie actress (“The Thomas Crown Affair”, “Tin Cup”)
1956 [48] Richard Karn, Seattle WA, TV game show host (“Family Feud” since 2002)/TV actor (‘Al Borland’-“Home Improvement” 1991-99)
1962 [42] Lou Diamond Phillips, Subic Bay Naval Station, Philippines, movie actor (“Hollywood Homicide”, “Courage Under Fire”)
1963 [41] Michael Jordan, Brooklyn NY, retired NBA superstar (Washington Wizards, 5-time NBA MVP/6-time NBA Finals MVP-Chicago Bulls)
1966 [38] Luc Robitaille, Montréal QC, NHL winger (LA Kings, 2002 Stanley Cup-Detroit Red Wings)
1971 [33] Denise Richards, Downers Grove IL, movie actress (“Love Actually”, “The World Is Not Enough”)/Mrs Charlie Sheen since 2002
1972 [32] Billie Joe Armstrong, Rodeo CA, rock singer/guitarist (Green Day-“Time of Your Life”, “Longview”) FACTOID: Green Day will release a new album by the end of the year.
1972 [32] Taylor Hawkins, Fort Worth TX, rock drummer (Foo Fighters [1997-present]-“Times Like These”, “All My Life”, w/Alanis Morissette [1995-1996])
1974 [30] Bryan White, Lawton OK, country singer (“Look At Me Now”, “You’re Still Beautiful to Me”)
1975 [29] Todd Harvey, Hamilton ON, NHL winger (San Jose Sharks)
1981 [23] Paris Hilton, NYC, TV reality star (“The Simple Life”)/sometime movie actress (“The Cat in the Hat”)/amateur video actress/great-granddaughter of hotel magnate Conrad Hilton & co-heir to the Hilton Hotel empire FACTOID: For her 21st birthday, she threw 5 parties for herself – in NYC, Las Vegas, London, Hollywood & Tokyo.
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Random Acts of Kindness Day”, honoring ‘the easiest gift to give and the best gift to receive’. (An annual observance by the ‘Association of the Sickeningly Nice’.)
SUGGESTED RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS:
• The next toll booth you come to, pay for the car behind you.
• Send a thank-you note to a teacher you once had, describing the difference they made in your life.
• Ask an older person to tell you a story about his or her youth.
• Give another driver your parking spot.
• Let someone merge ahead of you, smile and wave at them.
• Write a note to the boss of someone who’s helped you, thanking the boss for having such a great employee.
• Praise the work or attitude of a co-worker to someone else in your workplace.
NET: http://www.actsofkindness.org
BS RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS:
• Take a moment … and a shovel … and thoughtfully return all the gifts from your neighbor’s dog that’s allowed to run free.
• Remove a parking ticket from someone’s windshield. Put it on someone else’s windshield.
• Surreptitiously snip some of the wires inside your friends’ new home karaoke machine.
• If you run across someone wearing a skanky nose ring, rip it out for them … as an act of kindness.
• Contribute to a friend’s musical refinement by playing Frisbee with their lame CD collection off their apartment balcony.
(Ask listeners to contribute more of these ‘Realistic Acts of Kindness’.)
TODAY is “National PTA Founders’ Day”, commemorating the parent-teacher group’s 1897 founding.
THIS WEEK is officially “National Pet Dental Health Week”. (Good luck teaching your pit bull to floss.)
THIS WEEKEND is “Second Honeymoon Weekend”, set aside for all couples to spend quality time together away from ‘the grind and routine of their daily lives’.
ONE YEAR AGO . . .
2003 Tauranga NZ man is sentenced to 200 hours of community service for speeding … without a license or registration … on a motorized barstool … semi-naked … while intoxicated … with his butt on fire
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1976 [28] The Eagles album “Their Greatest Hits 1971-1975” is released, which has now sold over 28 million copies to become #1 all-time, overtaking Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1958 [46] 1st edition of Johnny Hart’s comic strip “BC”
1958 [46] Clare of Assisi is proclaimed the ‘patron saint of television’ by the Vatican
1998 [06] World’s first ‘talking beer cans’ as Venezuela’s Brahma Beer puts out can with a chip that tells drinkers if they’ve won prizes
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1795 [209] ‘Largest potato’ on record discovered by Britain’s Thomas Seddal – 8.3 kg (just over 18 lbs)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] “Against the Ropes” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] National Student Volunteer Day
[Sat] Card Reading Day
[Sun] Screen Actors Guild Awards (SAG)
[Sun] Awal Muharram (Islamic New Year)
This Week Is . . . Kraut & Frankfurter Week
This Month Is . . . Children’s Dental Health Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
PARTNER PAYBACK:
Ask listeners for tales of revenge for love-gone-wrong. Here are a few starters …
• Fill a pair of your ex-‘s favorite shoes with water, then stick ’em in the deep freeze (also works with car keys or a cellphone in a bucket of water).
• Sprinkle grass seed on thick carpet, then water liberally as you’re walking out the door.
• Call the Psychic Hotline or other 1-900 number, then leave the phone off-the-hook.
• Give out the new girlfriend’s name and number to the sleaziest guys you can find when you’re out clubbing.
BS TRIVIA:
Q: Solve this problem – a co-worker is ‘full of it’, but you don’t feel comfortable saying ‘bull––‘ in the workplace. Can you come up with 5 synonyms for ‘BS’ that would be acceptable to use?
A: There are scores of words to describe something that’s full of crap, including balderdash, hooey, bunk, hogwash, rigmarole, hot-air, malarkey, horsefeathers, claptrap, hokum, and codswallop.
BS PHONE STARTERS:
• “17 years later, they’re talking about it again. Is there ANY down-side to the Turks & Caicos joining Canada?” (Imagine vacationing in the Caribbean, spending Canuck bucks!)
• “At concerts, Beyoncé demands 4 brand new white towels, rose-scented candles, 2 bouquets of flowers, gourmet finger food, and a whole heap of other stuff backstage. What would you love to demand at work?”
BS WEB GOODIE:
Memorabilia Website curator Gary Zimet has put a 6-string Gibson guitar featuring elaborate carvings purportedly by late Beatle John Lennon up for sale – for $2.4 million. The lost instrument was found discarded in a dumpster in 1981. The Website is also offering ‘the most important piece of historic rock memorabilia ever’ – the album Lennon signed for his assassin Mark David Chapman just 5 hours before he died. It may be most important, but it’s only $525,000.
NET: http://momentsintime.com
BS BLATANT JOKES:
• The 5-pound box of chocolates was a very nice surprise, but will you love me darling when they end up on my thighs?
• You know you’re getting fat when you can pinch an inch … on your forehead.
• Personally, I don’t think there’s intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?
• Show Biz Rule #1: You’re not truly famous until my mother has heard of you.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 39% of women polled say they’ve ‘done the nasty’ on top of THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A pile of other people’s coats … like at a party.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it.
