Wednesday, February 26, 2003        Edition: #2485
Sweet Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY Court TV is scheduled to air live coverage of the preliminary hearing of actor Robert Blake, who’s accused of killing his wife Bonny Lee Bakley 2 years ago (by the time the trial’s over, he’ll have served 25 years!) . . . TONIGHT Dan Rather’s full interview (all 3 hours) with Saddam Hussein, taped MONDAY, airs on “60 Minutes II” . . . TONIGHT is Rob Lowe’s final appearance as ‘Sam Seaborn’ on “The West Wing” as he’s left the show to star in an NBC-TV legal drama (after a failed hold-out for more moola) . . . “People” magazine is now reporting the romance between “Joe Millionaire” Evan Marriott & Zora may be over (answering the question, how long does it take for a million-dollar cheque to clear?) . . . “Fear Factor” host Joe Rogan will become the new host of Comedy Central’s “The Man Show” THIS FALL, replacing Adam Carolla & Jimmy Kimmel (who now has his own late night show) . . . In case you haven’t heard – Norah Jones is the daughter of 82-year-old Ravi Shankar, the sitarist famous for collaborating with the Beatles who is India’s best known musician, and who until recently had an estranged relationship with his daughter & her mother, NYC concert producer Sue Jones . . . Here’s another reason to love her – even though she’s sold over 7 million copies of her CD “Come Away with Me”, 5-Grammy Award-winner Norah Jones is still living in the same $1,400-a-month, 2-bedroom Brooklyn apartment that she’s shared with her boyfriend Lee Alexander & another roommate for the last year-and-a-half . . . Gwen Stefani & No Doubt have announced they’re planning on taking a break, after rockin’ steady for 16 years . . . And the new face of Estee Lauder is – Andre Agassi! (according to “Vogue”, he’s agreed to a multi-million dollar deal to act as spokesman for a new fragrance).

NEW JARGON WATCH:
• ‘Dromomania’ – The technical term for the ‘travel bug’. Psychologists say it’s actually an impulse-control disorder, not far removed from shoplifting or arson. Dromomaniacs feel a buildup of pressure that can only be relieved when their urge to visit foreign lands is satisfied.
• ‘Evacuchute’ – A parachute developed after 9/11 especially for jumping from buildings of 15 stories or higher. It hit the market 5 months ago but as the Iraq situation has intensified, sales have spiked by 25%. The civilian version retails for about $1,500.
• ‘De-Risk’ – New corporate-speak for reducing risk. (“We’ll de-risk our chance of lawsuits if we fire the entire morning show team.”)

HI-TECH HIT-PICKING:
Scientists in Barcelona, Spain have developed a new computer program that accurately identifies songs that will become hits. The program analyzes some 22 variables, including beat, melody and harmony. So far, the system boasts 93% accuracy. Want proof? Researcher Mike McCready claims the program picked Norah Jones’ “Come Away With Me” CD a long time ago. And if you’re sick to death of “Don’t Know Why”, it also says 7 more of the album’s tunes have hit potential.

ONE LESS FLORIDA DRIVER:
The world’s 4th-oldest person and oldest American male has died in Lakeland FL. John McMorran smoked cigars, drank beer and ate greasy food – but still lived 113 years! By the way, the oldest person in the world is currently 115-year-old Kamato Hongo of Japan. She was born waaaaaaaaaaaaay back in 1887!

THANKS FOR THE NAME, MOM:
World Vision has been flooded with calls offering support for Saddam Hussein – an 8-year-old Bangladeshi boy named Saddam Hussein, that is. The agency says that when supporters of the charity originally heard the boy’s name, most politely declined to sponsor him and asked who else they could help. But specific pleas on the boy’s behalf have apparently worked. (And Saddam can now afford legal action to change his name to Osama.)

MING-SIZE MATTRESS:
With the Houston Rockets in the Big Apple last night, Manhattan’s Dumont Plaza Hotel made some alterations to accommodate the team’s 7 ft-5 in, 296-lb center, 22-year-old Chinese import Yao Ming. A bed sized to fit his humongous bod’ was fashioned by adding a twin bed to the end of a king-sized bed, thereby creating a 9-foot, 8-inch mattress, 3 feet longer than a standard king. According to stats, the average Chinese male is a full 2 ft shorter than the hoops star.

THAT SONG IS DRIVING ME NUTS!
Here’s an odd word for you – ‘earworm’. That’s the German term for a song that keeps repeating itself over and over in your head. University of Cincinnati’s Dr James Kellaris has been studying the phenomenon and found earworm songs tend to be relatively simple, are usually repetitive, and often contain some element that surprises the listener (a ‘hook’). So how do you get rid of a stuck tune? Try singing the sing all the way in order to forget the repetitive snippet. Kellaris says he’s also heard of people chewing on cinnamon sticks to rid the brain of a sticky song. Oh and yes, that song MAY be driving you crazy – the study shows earworms more often affect people with neurotic tendencies. (What’s the worst current ‘earworm’?)

PECULIAR NEW PLAYTHINGS:
• ‘Foodoodlers’ – Edible magic markers that enable kids to write on their food. The markers contain a nontoxic solution of water and propylene glycol. (Now, instead of just whining, kids can actually write the word ‘yuck’ on their veggies!)
• ‘Wabi Bear’ – A cuddly little Teddy Bear that is also a wireless receiver. You call a toll-free number or visit a Website to send a personal message, lullaby, or bedtime story. (Bratty brothers will be sending soothing messages like, “What was that noise under the bed?”)
• ‘Ivan the Conqueror’ – A new computer chess game from Excalibur Electronics that not only beats you, it insults you using a 500-word Barbarian vocabulary. (“That’s checkmate, you gravy-sucking pig. I fart in your general direction!”)
• ‘Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans’ – Inspired by “Harry Potter”, these little taste treats come in disgusting flavors like ‘vomit’, ‘dirt’ and ‘earwax’. (We’re into natural foods. We have our kids eat their own earwax.)
Source: ABC News

TODAY’S AMAZING FACT:
33,000 Nike basketball shoes are drifting through the Pacific Ocean toward the shores of Alaska after spilling from a container ship off northern California. That’s enough basketball shoes to outfit every high school team in the state. (No refunds, all sales final.)

THE BULL SHEET 02.26.2K3

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1920 [83] Tony Randall (Leonard Rosenberg), Tulsa OK, film/TV actor (“The Odd Couple”) who fathered 2 children while in his 70s (before Viagra!)

1932 [71] Johnny Cash, Kingsland AR, ailing country legend with over 100 solo hits (1999 Grammy ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’) who’s released a cover of the Nine Inch Nails song “Hurt”

1953 [50] Michael Bolton (Bolotin), New Haven CT, overwrought pop singer (2 Grammy Awards-“When a Man Loves a Woman”, “How Am I Supposed to Live Without You”)

1972 [31] Erykah Badu (Wright), Dallas TX, R&B singer (“Bag Lady”, “On & On”)

1973 [30] Marshall Faulk, New Orleans LA, NFL RB (St Louis Rams)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY anti-war activists have called for a “Virtual March on Washington”. The group ‘Artists United to Win Without War’, which includes numerous actors like Martin Sheen & Anjelica Huston, is urging an electronic bombardment of the White House and US Congress with anti-war e-mail, faxes and phone calls throughout the day.

TODAY “Canadian Music Week”, the annual festival of schmooze & booze, kicks off in Toronto and continues through Sunday, highlighted by tonight’s 3rd annual “Canadian Independent Music Awards” and Saturday’s “Canadian Radio Music Awards 2003″. Rockers Rush and artist manager Bernie Finkelstein will be inducted into the ‘Canadian Music Industry Hall of Fame’. Toronto’s most popular clubs and music halls showcase acts for both industry insiders and the general public. The music industry conference and exhibition runs simultaneously at the Westin Harbour Castle Hotel.
NET: http://www.cmw.net/

TODAY-Sunday the 9th annual “US Comedy Arts Festival” is on in Aspen CO. This year Mike Myers (“Shrek”, “Austin Powers”) receives the 2003 AFI Star Award. Also, filmmaker Kevin Smith (“Clerks”, “Dogma”) will be recognized for his devotion to freedom of speech and expression.
PHONER: 212-981-5189 (Chris Widmaier, Dan Klores Communications, NYC)
NET: http://www.hbo.com/comedy/uscaf/index.html

TODAY is “National Pistachio Day”. Honoring people addicted to pink dye all over their mouths. Bet you can’t eat just one!

TODAY is “For Pete’s Sake Day”, which asks the pressing question, ‘Just who the hell is Pete, anyway, and why would we do anything for his sake?’

TODAY is “Levi Strauss’s Birthday” (1829-1902), the creator of the first blue jeans, for California’s gold miners in 1850. Without him many of us wouldn’t have a wardrobe.

20 YEARS AGO . . .
1983 Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” album reaches #1

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1909 [94] 1st ‘cartoon’ shown in a movie theater (nowadays instead of cartoons before the main feature, you get 27 preview trailers and ads for the snack bar)

1935 [68] 1st demonstration of ‘radar’ (the name is an acronym for ‘RAdio Detection And Ranging’)

1936 [67] 1st ‘Volkswagen’ factory opens (Germany)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1962 [41] Broadway show with the longest name opens – “Oh Dad, Poor Dad, Mama’s Hung You in the Closet and I’m Feeling So Sad” (turns out to be the year’s ‘Best Play’ award winner)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Spay Day USA
[Thurs] International Polar Bear Day
[Fri] International Floral Design Day
[Sat] 55th DGA Awards
[Tues] Mardi Gras / Pancake Day
This Week Is . . . Telecommuter Appreciation Week (try a telecommuter traffic report!)
This Month Is . . . AMD (American Macular Degeneration) Awareness & Low Vision Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
WHAT YOU WEAR TO BED REVEALS THE TRUE YOU:
WOMEN
• Baby Dolls / Nightgown – Sensual, sensitive and romantic, you’re always looking for excitement. You are also extra neat, orderly and meticulous about your appearance. Your nails are always perfect.
• Flannels / Heavy Pajamas – You are a warm, caring person with a smile for everyone and a hug for those who need it. You enjoy outdoor activities like camping and hiking.
• Teddy / Camisole – You are very feminine and like to be cuddled and petted. You need to be spoiled to be happy and be fed plenty of candlelight dinners.
• Kiddie Jams (especially the ones with feet) – You like the warmth and coziness of a strong, safe relationship. You’re reliable and steady at work and play, but never make the first move.
• T-Shirt / Team Jersey – You are generous and warm, and make friends easily. You are playful in your relationships. People confide in you, instantly knowing you are trustworthy.
• Nekkid – You’re sensual and spontaneous. You also love a challenge. You are trusting and open.
MEN
• Pajamas – You’re a no nonsense kind of guy, direct and straightforward. Once you have committed yourself, your relationships tend to last. You are steady, hardworking and enjoy rugged outdoor activities.
• Boxers / Undies – You’re good at details and like things to be in order in your life. You are warm, friendly and caring, You remember birthdays and other important dates.
• Long Johns – You are practical and secure about yourself. You do not pay attention to fashion trends. You focus on each task until it is completed and don’t like to multi-task. Once you find a style in your life you like, you stick with it.
• T-Shirt – You’re a down home kind of man. You are not easily impressed by money or material possessions. You’re mellow, enthusiastic at work and slow to anger.
• Nekkid – You are creative and quick tempered. You are confident you will achieve your goals. At work you’re known as the idea man who can quickly grasp complexities of a problem and find a solution.

ALL-TIME TOP BOX OFFICE MOVIES WORLDWIDE:
1. “Titanic” ($1.835 billion)
2. “Harry Potter & the Philosopher’s (Sorcerer’s) Stone” ($975.8 million)
3. “Star Wars: The Phantom Menace” ($925.6 million)
4. “Jurassic Park” ($920.1 million)
5. “The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring” ($862.2 million)
6. “Harry Potter & the Chamber of Secrets” ($848.7 million)
7. “The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers” ($826.2 million)
8. “Spider-Man” ($821.7 million)
9. “Independence Day” ($813.2 million)
10. “Star Wars” ($798 million)
Source: “Box Office Mojo” as of 2/23/03

DISNEY FACT OR BS?
Two of the following are Mouse House facts, the other pure BS. But which?
1. The Disney film “Fantasia” was the 1st film in history to use stereo sound.
2. The Disney film “Mary Poppins” was shot entirely indoors.
3. “The Lion King” was the last Disney animated feature to be painted by hand before the switch to computer animation. (BS. “The Little Mermaid” was.)

BS BLATANT JOKE:
Some vegetarians say that meat is as harmful as smoking. So by all means, avoid second-hand meat!

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 46% of families have to do this every night just to eat together. What is it?
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Make different food for different family members.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
When a man says it’s a silly, childish game, it’s probably something his wife can beat him at.