Thursday, February 15, 2001 Edition: #1992
The newest sequencing of human genes has been big news this week. So here’s a look at –
BS SURPRISES IN THE HUMAN GENOME PROJECT:
• Discovery of the gene that makes guys leave the seat up.
• Reproduction seems to be genetic – if your parents didn’t have children, you won’t either.
• DNA of frogs and snails found in little boys but NOT ONE puppy dog’s tail.
• All humans did NOT evolve from apes, only the French.
• Any qualified scientist can now read the DNA map, but only 1 in 300 can fold it back up.
• Intensive analysis of human DNA shows the gene pool could use some chlorine.
• Gene #42789904-A contains a copy of the Microsoft End-User License Agreement.
• The ‘ethics gene’ seems to be absent in lawyers and some reptiles.
• Turns out everyone is just 6 genes from Kevin Bacon.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT’s “Survivor” episode has been edited to delete footage of Michael Skupin killing a pig and using its blood to paint his face . . . TODAY Universal Studios theme park in LA is holding what it believes is the world’s first audition for CELEBRITY LOOK-ALIKE PETS for a new attraction, and they claim they’ve already lined up a terrier that resembles Tom Hanks and a greyhound that looks like Calista Flockhart (poor thing must be starved!) . . . A Sotheby’s online charity auction beginning TODAY is offering nifty movie memorabilia, including Liam Neeson’s light saber from “Star Wars: Episode I” and Julia Roberts’ wedding dress from “Runaway Bride” . . . And speaking of Julia Roberts, Las Vegas oddsmakers have made her and Russell Crowe the acting favorites and “Gladiator” the ‘Best Picture’ favorite for the Academy Awards (just slightly ahead of the Baltimore Ravens).
MOVIES IN THE MAKING:
Kid Rock has a role in the upcoming movie “The Adventures Of Joe Dirt”, which is described as ‘a celebration of white trash’ (like co-stars Roseanne Barr and Gary Busey?) . . . Faith Hill may be hitting the bigscreen, expressing interest in starring in “Even Steven”, a romantic comedy about jilted ex-girlfriends who team up to get even with their former boyfriend . . . The on-screen chemistry between Mark Wahlberg and Jennifer Aniston in “Rock Star”, coming in APRIL, was apparently so bad that most of her scenes ended up on the cutting room floor (you may be a TV star, honey, but in Hollywood movies rule!).
WEIRD WORLD OF BS:
• 11 couples got married YESTERDAY on ‘Valentine’s Day” at the Hedonism III resort in Jamaica, the ‘world’s largest NUDE wedding’. (Makes you wonder — where’d the best man keep the ring?)
• A new survey finds that Italy has the highest espresso consumption in the world. On average, each Italian drinks about 600 SHOTS of espresso a year. (The reason most Italians haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse.)
• British police have finally arrested a man who’s been stealing sunglasses from people on the street since 1994. According to his partner, he could only become AROUSED when he wore a freshly stolen pair of shades. (Jack Nicholson was then released on bail.)
THE BULL SHEET 02.15.01
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1951 [50] Jane Seymour, Hillingdon ENG, Emmy Award-winning TV actress:(“Dr Quinn: Medicine Woman” [‘96], “Onassis: The Richest Man in the World” [‘88]/movie actress (“Live and Let Die”)
1954 [47] Matt Groening, Portland OR, animator/TV show creator (“The Simpsons”)
1971 [30] Renee O’Connor, Katy TX, TV actress (Gabrielle-“Xena: Warrior Princess”, since 1995)
1972 [29] Jaromir Jagr, Kladno CZE, NHL All-Star winger (Pittsburgh Penguins)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “National Flag of Canada Day”, celebrating the 36th anniversary of the unveiling of Canada’s maple leaf flag on Parliament Hill in 1965, replacing the ‘Red Ensign’.
NET: http://www.pch.gc.ca/flag-drapeau/eng/intro.htm
TONIGHT the “World’s Largest Toast” will likely occur at 8:30pm EST as thousands of restaurants and bars throughout the world are scheduled to take part, including Canada, the US, Japan, Mexico, Britain, Greece, Puerto Rico, Guam, Denmark, Australia, the Dominican Republic and Poland. The excuse for all this is to commemorate the 3rd anniversary of the death of beloved Chicago baseball sportscaster Harry Caray. The current Guinness World Record for the “Largest Toast” stands at 320,740 people.
NET: http://www.harrycarays.com
ONE YEAR AGO . . .
2000 Controversial FOX-TV special “Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire” airs, giving Darva Conger and Rick Rockwell their 15 minutes of fame
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mar 18] World Figure Skating Championships begin (Vancouver)
National Child Passenger Safety Awareness Week
Library Lovers’ Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
WILD WILD WEB:
• “Bob Rivers’ Twisted Tunes” site has a big selection of parody songs you’re free to download.
NET: http://www.twistedtunes.com
• There are at least 42 continuity errors in “Hannibal”, including a sequence where ‘Clarice’s’ earrings change from studs to hoops and back again 3 times, according to ‘Movie Mistakes’, a site that keeps track of such things.
NET: http://www.movie-mistakes.com
BS CANADIANA QUIZ:
• What was 20-year-old seamstress Joan O’Malley ‘s most famous creation? [She sewed Canada’s first prototype maple leaf flag in 1964.]
• Professor George Stanley is the person who suggested a red and white single maple leaf design for the flag. Where did he teach? [Royal Military College in Kingston ON]
• What kind of maple leaf is on the Canadian flag? [MP John Matheson chose the ‘sugar maple’ leaf as the model for the flag’s leaf.]
• What was Bill Clennett’s claim to fame in 1996? [He was the unemployed casual laborer whom PM Jean Chretien felt was a threat at the ‘96 “Flag Day” rally in Hull, so he grabbed him by the throat, breaking his dentures in the process. The RCMP later paid for the teeth.]
(Sources: “Canadian Heritage”, “CNews”)
BS TAG LINE: For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
