Tuesday, February 29, 2000 Edition: #1753
MORE BS PERPLEXING QUESTIONS THAT PLAGUE HUMANITY:
• Do you have anything to do if you work at a ‘Duty-Free Shop’?
• Do we now call them ‘wetlands’ because no one would give environmentalists money to save a ‘swamp’?
• If you go to the ‘Missing Persons Bureau’, is there anyone there?
• If a bouncer gets drunk, who throws him out?
• What exactly is ‘midair’? Is there some other part of air besides the ‘mid’ part?
• If you get cheated by the ‘Better Business Bureau’, who do you complain to?
• When will all the rhetorical questions end?
FEBRUARY 29 FAX:
• Because 2000 is ‘bisextile’ or ‘Leap Year’, today is “Leap Year Day”, a day added once every 4 years to bring the Gregorian calendar more into accord with Earth’s orbital period — 365.2422 days. “Leap Year Day” is also known as “Bachelors Day” or “Sadie Hawkins Day”.
• A person born on a Leap Year’s extra day is called a ‘29er’. The odds of being born February 29th are 1 in 1,461. About 12,000 ‘Leap Day’ births are expected in North America today.
• If we didn’t have Leap Year, our calendar would become so out-of-line it would need a major adjustment like in 1582, when Pope Gregory XIII declared October 5th was actually October 15th and 10 entire days were skipped!
• “Leap Day” effects us in many ways — some digital watches and computers will need to be reset, inmates serve an extra day in jail, but it’s unlikely your bank will give you an extra day’s interest. And this may make you want to take the day off — unless you get paid by the hour or per diem, you’re working for free today!
• While not as ominous a threat as the ‘Y2K’ bug, today’s extra day has some computer programmers concerned about a ‘Leap Year Bug’. Many companies have contingency plans similar to those that were in place for New Year’s Eve.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Band founders Donald Fagan and Walter Becker are releasing the first new Steely Dan studio album in 20 years today, called “Two Against Nature” . . . “Frasier’s” ‘Daphne Moon’, Jane Leeves, says she posed in a skimpy bra and underwear for a British tab because she’s determined to blow apart the myth that English girls are up-tight (or is that ‘upright’?) . . . David Hasselhoff tells “TV Guide” that he’s angry his “Baywatch” character will be blown up at the end of this season (we are too — he should have been tortured first).
CAN YOU SPELL ‘AURORA BOREALIS’?
A spectacular display of the ‘Northern Lights’ is expected over Canada during the next few nights due to a ‘coronal hole’ or gap in the Sun’s magnetic field. Actually the hole has been there for the past 7 months, allowing more hot gas than usual to escape. But don’t fret — experts say it’s nothing to worry about. (If you don’t mind festering boils and skin lesions.)
VIRTUAL JUNKYARD:
The ‘Big Three’ automakers have announced plans to create the world’s largest Internet company, an online exchange for car parts, and other auto industry functions. (Beware! If you try to surf the site after midnight, a frothing-at- the-mouth cyber-dog chases your cursor to the ‘back button’.)
THE BULL SHEET 02.29.00
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1936 [64] Jack Lousma, Grand Rapids MI, US astronaut (59 days in space as pilot of Skylab 3, Space Shuttle Columbia)
1936 [64] Henri Richard (“Pocket Rocket”), Montreal PQ, NHL Hall of Famer who played on more Stanley Cup championship teams (11) than anybody else (Montreal Canadiens)
1944 [56] Dennis Farina, Chicago IL, movie actor (Reindeer Games, Saving Private Ryan)
1972 [28] Antonio Sabato Jr, Rome ITA, underwear model/TV actor (ex-Melrose Place, ex-Earth 2, ex-General Hospital)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
[Canada] 1999 RRSP deadline
[Cypress Gardens FL] Free ‘Leap Day’ Weddings
Today is “International Underlings Day”, recognizing the insignificant peons that surround us. So buy your co-host a coffee.
Today is also “Gravity Observance Day”, best celebrated by watching any old “Roadrunner” cartoon that features an anvil.
ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1992 Boston Bruin Ray Bourque becomes 3rd NHL defenceman to amass 1,000 career points
1992 “To Be With You” by Mr Big peaks at #1 on pop charts
1996 New Calgary-based discount airline WestJet takes to the skies
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1940 [60] Hattie McDaniel becomes 1st African-American to win an Oscar for her role as ‘Mammy’ in “Gone With The Wind” (movie wins 8 Oscars including ‘Best Picture’)
1960 [40] 1st ‘Playboy’ club opens in Chicago, featuring waitresses called ‘Bunnies’ (Hugh Hefner closes the chain in 1986, calling the clubs “passe”)
1972 [28] 1st MLB player to make $200,000 a year (Hank Aaron-Atlanta Braves)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] I Want You to Be Happy Day
[Sat] Labatt Brier begins (Saskatoon)
[Sun] Arctic Winter Games begin (Whitehorse)
[1 week today] Shrove Tuesday (Pancake Day)
Read Me Week
Canadian Music Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
BS LEAP DAY TRIVIA:
Q: What is the official name for a NON-Leap Year?
A: It’s called a ‘Common Year’.
Q: Leap Years come every 4 years except for one exception. What is it?
A: There are only 2 rules governing the determination of Leap Years: A year which is evenly divisible by 4 is a Leap Year, except for years ending in ‘00′. A year ending in ‘00′ is a Leap Year if it’s divisible by 400. Thus, 1900 was not a Leap Year, but 2000 is.
THE LAST WORD: If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise.
