Monday, February 25, 2008 Edition: #3718
Bully For You!
WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• SATURDAY “Juno” was the big winner at the 2008 “Independent Spirit Awards” in Santa Monica CA, claiming 3 of the 5 awards for which it was nominated, including ‘Best Feature’ and ‘Best Female Lead’ for star/Oscar nominee Ellen Page. (But the most Earth-shattering news at the event was … Angelina Jolie confirmed she’s pregnant. Ohmygawd!)
– ContactMusic.com
• Pals of producer/actor Ashton Kutcher have been exposed to hepatitis A at his NYC birthday party 2 weeks ago. Apparently one of the staffers working the bash at the Socialist restaurant has just tested positive for the virus. Among the potential infectees beside Kutcher: Bruce Willis, Demi Moore, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Hudson, Liv Tyler, Madonna, and Salma Hayek. (Willis must be thrilled. First you steal my wife, now …)
– “E! News”
• FRIDAY Jennifer Lopez upped her family by 2 (a daughter & an 11-minutes-younger son) and now word has leaked that actress Jessica Alba is also pregnant with twins. Alba is so excited, she’s apparently been letting all her friends know, one of whom has even blabbed the due date, JUNE 8th. (Thanks to the writers’ strike, the population of Hollywood is doubling!)
– CosmoDaily
• Facebook is finally losing faces. The popularity of social networking phenom has recorded its first decline in numbers. Visitors in JANUARY alone fell by 5% to 8.5 million. Competitor MySpace, meanwhile, has seen audience numbers fall by 9% over the past year. (That’s because people are increasingly discovering a radical new alternative … live humans!)
– “Financial Times”
• SATURDAY at the 28th “Golden Raspberry Awards” for the year’s worst films, Lindsay Lohan’s “I Know Who Killed Me” had 8 ‘wins’, breaking the previous record of 7 jointly held by “Showgirls” & “Battlefield Earth”. The film was named ‘Worst Movie of the Year’ and Lohan herself won 2 ‘Worst Actress Awards’ & ‘Worst Onscreen Couple’ for playing twins. (She’s excited … it’s her first-ever acting awards!)
– CBC Arts
• Trekkies rejoice! CBS-TV has announced that the original “Star Trek” series, which aired on NBC-TV 1966-69 is among the first shows being offered online at CBS.com. (What a great opportunity to once again time William Shatner’s interminable pauses in dialogue!)
– “NY Times”
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alicia Keys – She’s postponed THIS WEEK’s concerts in the UK due to a bout of laryngitis.
• Marilyn Manson – His name-branded absinthe booze, “Mansinthe”, is being mauled by food & beverage critics, one saying it smells like ‘sewage, swamp mud, and rubbing alcohol’.
• Rihanna – She’s been named ‘Honorary Ambassador for Culture & Youth’ by her native Barbados. Then, to top off the honor, the PM gave her a chunk of prime real estate.
• World Peace One – This not-for-profit global peace advocacy group has targeted some of the world’s top music acts for a series of international concerts to begin MAY 17th. They’re currently in talks with such marquee acts as Aerosmith, Celine Dion, Led Zeppelin, Madonna, Timbaland, U2, and Velvet Revolver. Of course, talks are one thing, actual performances another.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “A Raisin in the Sun” (ABC/Global) – Sean Combs reprises his Broadway role in this made-for-TV movie version.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – Garth Brooks is the special guest.
• “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC) – Wilco is the musical guest.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – ”Bring It On Home” country group Little Big Town guests.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Michael McDonald performs.
• Spice Girls – TONIGHT is the first concert of a 2-night stand at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto that closes out their reunion tour.
• Three Days Grace – They’re planning to film a live show before wrapping up their current tour in early APRIL which will likely be used for a future DVD release.
WE WOULDN’T STEER YOU WRONG:
Japan’s Nissan Corp is developing a computer-controlled system that will nudge a vehicle back into its lane if it starts to swerve. The system combines video cameras and computer control to keep vehicles heading in the right direction. Nissan engineers say the system is disabled when the driver uses the turn signal to change lanes or make turns. (Too bad. That would mean the system will never work for those who need it most … drivers over 70.)
– AP
GREY MATTER:
The American Association for the Advancement of Science says that people who slow down after retirement may actually shorten their lives. Researchers say that seniors need intellectual activity to remain healthy and that challenging games like bridge or crossword puzzles are good, while deadhead activities like bingo and TV viewing are not. (Use it or lose it!)
– Kiplinger.com
AGED WELL:
A San Francisco State University study of the long-living population in Hawaii has found 3 key elements common to active people 80-plus …
• Rewarding physical activity, like gardening.
• Good nutrition.
• Living at home instead of in an institution or rest home.
(And being in Hawaii can’t hurt!)
– “Psychology Today”
COMFORT ZONE:
According to studies on the subject, you start getting antsy when someone comes within 70 cm (about 2-and-a-half ft) of your face. At 50 cm (20 in) it gets hard to breathe and at 30 cm (12 in) you’re liable to punch the offender or scream. The research shows you automatically get tense and edgy when your personal space is invaded. (Especially by someone with bad breath.)
– “New Science”
MOST TERRIBLE TITLES:
The nominations are out for the 30th annual “Diagram Prize” for ‘Oddest Book Title Of the Year’. Among the front-runners …
• “Are Women Human? And Other International Dialogues”
• “Cheese Problems Solved”
• “How to Write a How to Write Book”
• “I Was Tortured by the Pygmy Love Queen”
• “If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs”
The winner, decided through online voting, will be announced MARCH 28th.
– TheBookseller.com
SECRET STASH:
Where do you hide family heirlooms so that they are safe? Police experts recommend the kitchen or pantry … among the cleaning supplies. Seems it’s unlikely that a thief is going to break in and, seeing the filth in your home, decide to clean you up before cleaning you out. ([Co-host] uses his underwear drawer.)
– UPI
VEGETATION CONVERSATION:
Rutgers University scientists have recently discovered that plants communicate with other plants. Researchers say they warn neighboring plants when they are infected with a virus with an ‘airborne signal’. (Great, now in addition to your kids, your plants talk back!)
– “Discovery”
SPACE STENCH:
Space smells metallic, according to International Space Station science officer Don Pettit. He says the aroma reminds him of college summers when he labored with an arc-welding torch repairing heavy equipment for a logging outfit. The scent of space, he claims, is reminiscent of those pleasant, sweet-smelling welding fumes. (Maybe cuz you’re housed in a metal building?)
– “Toronto Star”
TOUGHEST MOVIE CHARACTERS:
According to a new poll by an online DVD rental service, these are filmdom’s real he-men …
3. ‘John McClane‘ (Bruce Willis in “Die Hard” films)
2. ‘Maximus Decimus Meridius’ (Russell Crowe in “Gladiator”)
1. ‘Jason Bourne’ (Matt Damon in the “Bourne” series)
– “GQ”
ACTION HEROS YOU COULD PROBABLY BEAT UP IN A FIGHT:
A ranking of screen stars anyone could whip. Here are the not-so-magnificent seven …
7. Mark Wahlberg (“The Departed”, “The Italian Job”) – Oh c’mon, he’s about 4-ft-tall!
6. Leonardo Di Caprio (“The Departed”, “Gangs of New York”) – His head, about the size of a basketball, makes an easy target. And he feels compelled to grow bumfluff around his chin to make him look tougher. Snort.
5. Elijah Wood (“Lord of the Rings”) – He’s a strapping 5′-6”. And how did he get those googly eyes? Did mommy live on a lily pad?
4. Ethan Hawke (“Lord of War”, “Training Day”) – The glue-on goatee makes him look 14. And we’ve seen more meat on a jockey’s whip.
3. Daniel Radcliffe (“Harry Potter” films) – His geek power only works if opponents have the common courtesy not to slap down a kid with glasses.
2. Nicolas Cage (“National Treasure” films, “Ghost Rider”) – Why should any self-respecting baddie get beaten up by a guy with ridiculous hair, the body of whippet, and a penchant for Elvis? And, oh yeah, a ‘hero’ should have a chin.
1. Tom Cruise (“Collateral”, “The Last Samurai”) – You’d have more to fear from the li’l Hobbit guy … he’s taller. “Mission Impossible”? Hardly.
– Adapted from Hecklerspray.com
DID YOU KNOW?
• The US 5-dollar bill will get a splash of yellow & purple NEXT MONTH after it was discovered that counterfeiters could bleach the bills and remake them as $100s.
– “The Atlantic”
• Because of the soaring price of gold over the past year, each Oscar statuette cost the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences $100 more THIS YEAR than last … a record $500 apiece.
– “Bloomberg News”
BS CHRONOMETER 02.25.08
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1967 [41] Carrot Top (Scott Thompson), Cocoa Beach FL, clown-haired comedian who relies on wacky props/sometime film actor (“The Aristocrats”)
1971 [37] Daniel Powter, Vancouver BC, one-hit-wonder pop singer (“Bad Day”)
1971 [37] Sean Astin, Santa Monica CA, movie actor (“Lord of the Rings” trilogy, “50 First Dates”)
1986 [22] James & Oliver Phelps, Birmingham UK, twin actors (‘Fred & George Weasley’ in the “Harry Potter” films)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Don’t Utter a Word Day”, because the world is made up of talkers and listeners … and the listeners need a rest.
• “Life is Just a Bowl of Cherries Day”. Well, the alternative sure is the pits.
• “Lumberjack Day”, honoring a tough job that’s become a popular sport … logging games.
• “Thorrablot” is underway in communities across Iceland. Called by some the ‘feast from hell’, the annual mid-Winter, month-long banquet includes local delicacies like ‘sheep’s blood pudding rolled in lard’, ‘broiled puffin birds’, ‘rotten shark’ that’s been buried for 4 months, and the always delectable dish, ‘pickled ram’s testicles’. All of this is washed down with ‘black death’, a potato & caraway seed schnapps. If you can survive this feast, the rest of Winter will be no prob!
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1998 [10] Bob Dylan, Shawn Colvin, R Kelly, Puff Daddy, Sarah McLachlan, and Alison Kraus win multiple trophies at the 40th annual “Grammy Awards”
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1940 [68] 1st ‘Televised Hockey Game’ (NY Rangers vs Montréal Canadiens on W2XBS-TV in NYC)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1896 [112] ‘Largest Chicken Egg’ on record laid by a Black Minorca hen in England (the 5-yolk egg weighs nearly 12 ounces and measures 12.25 inches around the long axis and 9 inches around the short axis)
1981 [27] ‘Most-Penalized NHL Hockey Game’ as Boston Bruins & Minnesota North Stars amass 84 penalties for a total of 392 minutes
COMING UP . . .
[Tues] For Pete’s Sake Day
[Wed] International Polar Bear Day
[Thurs] Tooth Fairy Day
[Thurs] International Floral Design Day
[Thurs] International Repetitive Strain Injuries Awareness Day
[Fri] Leap Year Day
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Eating Disorders Awareness Week / Read Me Week / Telecommuter Appreciation Week
BULL’S BITS
BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 15 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS GUIDE TO DECIPHERING APARTMENT RENTAL ADS:
• “Easy Access to Transportation” … next to railroad tracks.
• “Great View” … overlooks the dumpster.
• “Heated Pool” … when the sun’s out.
• “Light and Airy” … cold and drafty.
• “Pets Welcome” … the place smells.
• “Rustic” … interior design from the ’80s.
• “Secure Parking” … manager’s apartment overlooks the parking lot.
• “Spacious” … it’s a flippin’ hole in the wall.
BS WEB GOODIE:
Whoever created this site wasted massive amounts of time & effort. It’s sooo dumb … but sooo addictive! Here’s where you go to beatbox your dawg …
NET: http://www.beatbox.tele2.se/
NAME THAT PHOBIA:
• Alektorophobia (fear of chickens)
• Barophobia (fear of gravity)
• Chorophobia (fear of dancing)
• Cyberphobia (fear of computers)
• Pentheraphobia (fear of your mother-in-law)
• Phalacrophobia (fear of becoming bald)
BS PHONE STARTER:
Do people listen to music differently based on gender? (A BBC Radio honcho is taking harsh criticism for suggesting that men listen on an ‘intellectual level’ whereas women respond to music ‘emotionally’. We think it’s even simpler: men listen to the tune, women to the lyrics.)
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Women carry a bunch of stuff in their handbags, but fully 44% of them carry THESE and would never leave home without ‘em.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Breath mints.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It is better to be wise than to be smart.
BS FRESH MEAT:
Wheeler & Hal @ Power 97 [CJKR] Winnipeg MB have just re-upped for another 12 months of “BS” (that’s 13 years, guys – thanks!); and this week we welcome tire kickers from around-the-world that include Yasmoon @ Rainbow 95.9 Reading UK; Jamie Barber @ 93.1 CHAY-FM Oakville ON; JC Joyce @ 105.7 myFM [CJMI] Strathroy ON; Jenna Jamison @ Classic Rock 93.7 The Bus [WBUS] State College PA; Stephen Murnaghan @ Ocean 100 [CHTN] Charlottetown PEI; Mike Riddles @ 88.3 WCQR Gray TN; and Olcay Ozkan @ 99.5 Capital Radio in Ankara, Turkey.
