Friday, February 22, 2008        Edition: #3717
Get a Load of This Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
“Jumper” star Hayden Christensen is not only considering raising livestock on his new 200-acre farm outside Toronto (horses, goats, alpaca) but also sowing fields of lavender (there’s big bucks in the stinky stuff) . . . 1980s TV show “Knight Rider” appears to be fast-tracked to once again become a regular NBC-TV series after its reincarnation as a 2-hour movie attracted close to 13 million viewers (who says there’s no quality TV?) . . . Jessica Simpson’s latest lame movie “Blonde Ambition” is #1 at the box office – in Ukraine (where it’s up against “Ben-Hur and “Birth of a Nation”) . . . The video for Paula Abdul’s Randy Jackson-produced new single, “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow”, is available for free viewing on the “American Idol” website through MARCH 5th (after which it will likely be filed in the good old porcelain receptacle) . . . PETA’s annual list of ‘Worst-Dressed Celebs’ (people who wear animal skins) is topped by Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin, thanks to her Grammy Awards get-up, followed by fellow fur-bearers Eva Longoria & Lindsay Lohan (when has she ever appeared clothed?) . . . NY Giants football star Michael Strahan says he’s ready to pop the question to gf  Nicole Mitchell (actor Eddie Murphy’s ex-) but he’s unsure if she’ll accept (you kiddin’ dude, you’ve got Super Bowl money!) . . . Hasbro toy brands “Transformers” & “GI Joe” have already been sold as movie properties and now the company has a new 6-year partnership deal with Universal Studios to produce at least 4 films based on other products, which might include “Clue”, “Monopoly”, or “Ouija” (“Ouija: The Movie”?) . . . Pseudo-star Tori Spelling claims she’s started work on a tell-all memoir in a bid to ‘set the record straight’ about the (tedious) events of her life (some sort of threat?) . . . “Sicko” director Michael Moore says he wants Fidel Castro to be his special guest at the Oscars SUNDAY, claiming it would be a great ‘ratings grabber’ (more bafflegab from the big guy) . . . And 22-year-old “High School Musical” star Ashley Tisdale is denying reports she’s set to undergo a ‘rack job’ to go along with her recent nose job (is there a 3-for-1 coupon or something?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Billy Joel – His decision to perform a 2nd ‘final concert’ at NYC’s fabled Shea Stadium JULY 18th is angering fans who claim they’ve paid circa $100 to watch him close the venue with the originally-scheduled JULY16 show. It was SRO in less than an hour.
• Enrique Iglesias – He’s set a new record with his 18th #1 tune on the ‘Hot Latin Songs‘ chart in “Billboard” magazine (“Donde Estan Corazon”).
• 50 Cent – He’s been ordered to pay an undisclosed settlement to a “NY Post” photographer who was knocked to the grounds by his body guards back in 2003.
• Foo Fighters – They’re suing the producers of the upcoming animated TV series, “Wolverine & the X-Men”, for unauthorized use of their tunes “Best of You” and “Free Me” in an ad trailer.
• Janet Jackson – She keeps denying it, but reports continue to surface that she & her music producer-bf Jermaine Dupri are secretly planning a wedding. If so, he’d be her 3rd husband.
• Linkin Park – The woman who pleaded guilty to stalking frontman Chester Bennington has been sentenced in Albuquerque NM to 2 years in prison. LAST NIGHT the band played Madison Square Garden in NYC.
• Michael Jackson – He’s sold about 166,000 copies of “Thriller” in its first week of re-release, thereby avoiding legitimate work for another month or two.
• Pearl Jam – Eddie Vedder’s soundtrack for the Golden Globe-award winning film “Into the Wild” was reportedly rejected for Oscar consideration because it was ‘too song-based’.

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Academy Awards” (ABC/CTV) – SUNDAY Jon Stewart hosts the 80th annual Hollywood film awards from the Kodak Theatre. A few highlights …
– Regis Philbin (“Live With Regis & Kelly”) hosts the official Oscar red-carpet show (ABC).
– The Coen bros’ “No Country For Old Men” lead nominations with 8.
– Actress Cate Blanchett could make history as she’s nominated for both ‘Best Actress’ (“Elizabeth: The Golden Age”) & ‘Best Supporting Actress’ (“I’m Not There”). It’s the 11th time a performer has received double nominations, but no one has ever won both.
– Sound mixer Kevin O’Connell has his 20th “Academy Awards” nomination (“Transformers”). So far, he’s lost out 19 consecutive times.
– Halifax NS-native Ellen Page is up for ‘Best Actress’ for “Juno”; that film’s Montréal-born director, Jason Reitman, is also nominated; Toronto director Sarah Polley (“Away From Her”) is nominated for ‘Best Adapted Screenplay’.
NET: http://www.oscar.com
• “BET Honors” (BET) – TONIGHT Brian McKnight, Gladys Knight, John Legend, Ne-Yo, Stevie Wonder, and Wyclef Jean make appearances.
NET: http://blogs.bet.com/pov/honors/
• “Canadian Idol” – SATURDAY & SUNDAY the cross-country auditions move to Winnipeg’s St Vital Centre.
• “Crossroads” (CMT): SATURDAY Robert Plant & Alison Krauss perform each other’s hits plus music from their collaborative album, “Raising Sand”.
• “Independent Spirit Awards” (AMC/IFC) – SATURDAY Rainn Wilson (“The Office”) hosts the annual salute to indie films in Santa Monica CA. Actor Javier Bardem (“No Country For Old Men”) is ‘Honorary Chair’ of the 2008 gala. The Bob Dylan-inspired movie “I’m Not There” is honored with the 1st-ever ‘Robert Altman Award’ for the director, casting agent & cast of an outstanding indie movie.
NET: http://www.ifc.com
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC) – TONIGHT “Bubbly” singer Colbie Caillat is a guest.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – TONIGHT Diddy’s on … or is it Sean John now?
• “Razzie Awards” – SATURDAY the 28th spoof honors for the year’s worst movies & actors are lead by Lindsay Lohan’s “I Know Who Killed Me“ with 9 nominations, followed closely by Eddie Murphy’s “Norbit” with 8. Also eligible: “Bratz”, “Daddy Day Camp”, and “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry”.
NET: http://www.razzies.com
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Carrie Underwood makes her 2nd appearance as musical guest in first new production since the writers’ strike. Former “SNL” cast member Tina Fey (“30 Rock”) hosts.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC) – TONIGHT Grammy-winner Herbie Hancock performs.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Be Kind Rewind” ( PG-13 Comedy ): Jack Black stars as a guy whose brain becomes magnetized, which accidentally wipes out the entire stock of a video store owned by his friend (Mos Def). With all the tapes blank, the twosome sets out to recreate every film ever made (“Back to the Future”, “Ghostbusters “, “Lion King”, “Rush Hour”, etc). Co-stars Danny Glover & Mia Farrow. Written & directed by Michel Gondry (“Eternal Sunshine Of the Spotless Mind”).
NET: http://www.bekindmovie.com/
• “Charlie Bartlett” ( R-Rated Comedy ): 18-year-old actor Anton Yelchin plays the new kid in school who hits upon a unique way to make friends – he becomes the self-appointed class shrink, dispensing advice to the student body. Robert Downey Jr slums as the school principal. Filmed entirely in Toronto & Oshawa ON.
NET: http://www.charliebartlett-themovie.com/
• “Vantage Point” ( PG-13 Thriller ): Dennis Quaid & Matthew Fox star as Secret Service agents desperately trying to track down whoever assassinated the US president (William Hurt) while he was making a speech in Spain. Co-stars Forest Whitaker (“Last King of Scotland”) & Sigourney Weaver (“Aliens”).
NET: http://www.vantagepoint-movie.com/index.php
• “Witless Protection” ( PG-13 Comedy ): Larry the Cable Guy plays a small-town sheriff who witnesses what he believes is a kidnapping and rushes to rescue a woman. The kidnappers turn out to be FBI agents trying to protect a witness in a major trial … or are they?
NET: http://www.witlessprotectionmovie.com/

PEE FOR TWO:
French researchers have invented a rubber-like material that can heal itself even when sliced in two. The as-yet-unnamed substance is made from vegetable oil and … a component of urine. Pieces of the stuff can be joined back together as if they had never been separated, thanks to the unique way in which the molecules are held together. (Eureka … a rubber that doesn’t break!)
– BBC News

SPOT CHECK:
The elusive ‘G-Spot’ exists … but not all women have one, medical researchers say. New ultrasound scanning suggests that the hot spot some women possess is due to a region of thicker tissue. Doctors say the findings mean women can now have a quick and easy test to determine whether or not they are blessed with an erogenous zone. (And what if you don’t? Do they do transplants?)
– “GQ”

CHIP OFF THE OLD ENGINE BLOCK:
The aptly named ‘Splinter’ is the world’s first wooden supercar. Made from maple, plywood and MDF (Medium-Density Fiberboard), the 6-speed, V-8 sports car has a top speed of 240 mph and can do 0-60 in just over 3 seconds. It also gets an impressive but hardly environmentally friendly 20 mpg. The Splinter will be available later THIS YEAR at an as-yet undetermined price. (Fire insurance alone will cost you: “I dropped a cigarette and my car burned to the ground.”)
NET: http://www.joeharmondesign.com/
– TimesOnline

DID YOU KNOW?
The first rubber duck emerged with the advent of rubber manufacturing in the early 19th Century. The bath toy, now made primarily of vinyl plastic, took off in North America after ‘Ernie’ of “Sesame Street” recorded the song “Rubber Duckie” in 1970.
– rubberducks.org.uk

BS CHRONOMETER 02.22.08

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1932 [76] Ted Kennedy, Brookline MA, US Senator (Massachusetts) since 1962

1944 [64] Jonathan Demme, Baldwin NY, movie director (“Neil Young: Heart of Gold”, “Bruce Springsteen: The Complete Video Anthology 1978-2000”, Oscar-“The Silence of the Lambs”)

1959 [49] Kyle MacLachlan, Yakima WA, TV actor (‘Orson Hodge’ on “Desperate Housewives” since 2006, “Sex & the City” 2000-02)

1963 [45] Vijay Singh, Lautoka, Fiji, professional golfer on the PGA Tour

1968 [40] Jeri Ryan (Zimmerman), Munich, Germany, TV actress (‘Jessica Devlin’ on “Shark” since 2006, “Boston Public” 2001-04, “Star Trek: Voyager” 1997-2001)

1974 [34] James Blunt, Tidworth UK, pop singer (“You’re Beautiful”)/one-hit-wonder?

1975 [33] Drew Barrymore, Culver City CA, movie actress/producer (“Music & Lyrics”, “50 First Dates”)

SATURDAY –
Canada’s first astronaut Marc Garneau is 59; Rock guitarist Brad Whitford (Aerosmith) is 56; CEO Michael Dell (Dell Computer) is 43; TV/movie actress Kristin Davis (“Sex & the City”) is 43; Movie actress Dakota Fanning (“Charlotte’s Web”) is 14.

SUNDAY –
Canadian movie/TV actress Helen Shaver (“The Color of Money”) is 57; CEO Steve Jobs (Apple/Pixar) is 53; Country singer Sammy Kershaw (“She Don’t Know She’s Beautiful”) is 50.

BS REASONS TO PARTY THIS WEEKEND . . .
• “Be Humble Day”. Just for one day try not to brag or to boast; and try not to talk about your success or accomplishments. Why? Because humbleness is a good thing.
• “George Washington’s Birthday”, celebrating America’s 1st President, born on this date in 1732.
• “Jalapeno Festival”, the 30th annual in Laredo TX where the record for pepper-popping is 141 jalapenos in 15 minutes, set way back in 1978.
NET: http://www.visitlaredo.com/shownews.asp?newsid=43
• “World Thinking Day”, an annual celebration of Boy Scouts/Girl Guides founders Lord & Lady Baden-Powell’s joint birthday. Scouts & Guides are encouraged to ‘think’ of good deeds. Many will wear their uniforms to school TODAY (if you remind them).

SATURDAY –
• “Curling is Cool Day”, celebrating the winter sport of curling which involves yelling (“Hurry!”), sweeping (“Hurry hard!”) and, of course, drinking.
NET: http://www.thecurlingnews.com/
• “Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day”. A recent poll of pet owners finds that fully 34% of us have eaten dog food at one time or another, most likely just to see what it tastes like.
• “International Chili Day”, when we’re encouraged to enjoy a steaming bowl of chili con carne to  ward off Winter’s cold. What’s your secret ingredient? Dante’s Inferno Sauce maybe?

SUNDAY –
• “Flag Day” in Mexico (“El Dia de la Bandera”), celebrating ‘La Bandera Mexicana’ created in 1821 when the country gained independence.
• “Tortilla Chip Day”. Well, that certainly makes planning dinner a lot easier, doesn’t it?

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1949 [59] The debut of ‘Modern Professional Wrestling’ as Gorgeous George beats Ernie Dusek at NYC’s Madison Square Garden using fake moves and lots of other razzamatazz

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1989 [19] “Grammy Awards” reach a whole new low by citing Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry Be Happy” as both ‘Best Record’ & ‘Best Song’; lip-sync scammers Milli Vanilli as ‘Best New Artist’; and Jethro Tull as the 1st-ever winner of the ‘Heavy Metal’ award

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1959 [49] 1st ‘Daytona 500′ auto race (won by Lee Petty, father of legendary racer Richard Petty)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] For Pete’s Sake Day
[Tues] Return of the Spice Girls World Tour wraps (Toronto)
[Wed] International Polar Bear Day
[Thurs] International Floral Design Day
[Thurs] Tooth Fairy Day
[Thurs] International Repetitive Strain Injuries Awareness Day
This Week Is … Build A Better Trade Show Image Week
This Month Is … World Understanding Month

BULL’S BITS

UNFORTUNATELY NAMED CARS:
• AMC Gremlin … Made from 1970-78. The name comes from an imaginary gnomelike creature to whom mechanical problems are attributed. Sound like a car you wanna drive? Courtesy of the same folks who brought us the lethargic ‘Pacer’.
• Buick LaCrosse … Made since 2005. In Québec French slang it means ‘To Get Ripped Off’ or ‘Masturbation’. It’s now sold as the Buick ‘Allure’ in Canada.
• Chevrolet Nova … 1962-88. In Spanish, ‘No Va’ means ‘It Doesn’t Go’.
• Dodge Swinger … 1960-76. Okay, it was the ’60s, but still – why not just call it the ‘STD’?
• Mazda Laputa … 1999-2006. In Spanish – ‘The Whore’.
• Mitsubishi Pajero … An SUV that means literally in Spanish – ‘Wanker’. No wonder it’s been renamed ‘Montero’ in Spain.
• Nissan Moco … In Spanish – ‘Booger’. Fortunately, it’s only sold in Japan.
• Opel Ascona … 1970-88. In northern Spain & parts of Portugal it’s a derogatory term for ‘Female Genitalia’.
– Adapted from Oddee.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I don’t suffer from insanity … I enjoy every minute of it.

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• What little white lie did your parents tell you … or have you told your kids? (“Of course there’s a hamster heaven, son.”)
• With the writers’ strike over and TV schedules being reorganized, the fate of “Friday Night Lights” (NBC/Global) hangs in the balance. Is this show worth saving?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The average age of someone who has THIS job is now 49-years-old.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Nurse.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A view is where we build houses.