Thursday, February 23, 2006       Edition: #3225
More From the Sheethouse!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY “Canadian Idol” auditions chill at the Explorer Hotel in Yellowknife NT . . . “Survivor: Exile Island” is losing popularity with older viewers (fogies aged 18-to-49) but is the most-watched “Survivor” series among 12-17-year-olds of the past 4 seasons of the show . . . Professional oddsmaker Pinnacle Sports picks Ace Young as 7-2 favorite to win “American Idol 5″, followed by Katharine McPhee at 4-1 . . . 15 of the 24 “American Idol 5″ finalists plan to thank God first if they win (or Simon, but then that’s the same thing) . . . It’s getting serious between 39-year-old actress Halle Berry & 30-year-old Montréal-born model Gabriel Aubry, according to associates & family, who say the couple is ‘completely smitten’ with each other (does she qualify as a ‘cougar’?) . . . After the Oscars, “Brokeback Mountain” actor Heath Ledger is taking a year off to stay home and act as ‘Mr Mom’ to Matilda, his new daughter with actress Michelle Williams . . . Multi-media mogul Oprah Winfrey has reportedly altered her will so that her staggering $1.4-billion-fortune will be left to African orphans through her Angel Network . . . And Paris Hilton has reportedly signed up Pussycat Dolls creator Robin Antin as her own personal choreographer, to help her pop career by developing her video and live appearances (uh, what pop career?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Big & Rich – TODAY in Nashville TN they host the “Guitar Town” charity auction of several 10-foot tall sculptures of Gibson ‘Les Paul’ & ‘Chet Atkins’ model guitars, plus actual electric guitars individually signed by Kenny Chesney, Wynonna, George Jones & others.
• Britney Spears – Word is she’s ready to reclaim her pop princess title and is currently searching for a house on the Hawaiian island of Maui to rent for 3 months while she records her new album.
• Dolly Parton – TODAY she guests on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show”.
• Kid Rock – He’s won a temporary restraining order stopping a California company from releasing an explicit video featuring him & former Creed singer Scott Stapp partying with 4 female fans. The lawsuit doesn’t deny the tape’s authenticity, just seeks to stop the company from making money off it.
• KISS – The dinosaur rockers have marketed everything from fridge magnets & belt buckles to hats & coffins under their name and up next is a new line of perfume & cologne.
• Lou Reed – TONIGHT he performs a free show in Piazza Castello in Torino, Italy following the day’s medal ceremonies for the Winter Olympics.
• Rolling Stones – They continue to sell-out concerts in South America where in Spanglish slang they are known as ‘Los Estones’ (‘lows ay-STO-nays’).

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
The upcoming movie version of the vintage TV soap “Dallas” (rumored to involve everyone from John Travolta & Brad Pitt to Matthew McConaughey & Catherine Zeta-Jones) may be made in Florida when shooting begins later THIS YEAR, because the city of Dallas can’t compete with the financial incentives . . . In an as-yet-unnamed upcoming comedy, Adam Sandler & Kevin James (“King of Queens”) will play a pair of hetero NYC firefighters who wed to take advantage of new same sex partnership benefits . . . In “PDR” (Philadelphia Department of Recreation), Bernie Mac will take on his first dramatic role, co-starring with Terrence Howard (“Crash”) in the true story of a group of inner-city kids who are transformed into a top swim team . . . In the horror sequel “The Grudge 2″, Amber Tamblyn (“Joan Of Arcadia”) will be joined by Jennifer Beals (“The L Word”) and, in a brief cameo, Sarah Michelle Gellar, star of the original movie . . . And the script is now finalized, meaning Steven Spielberg can begin filming a 4th “Jurassic Park” film NEXT YEAR, for release in 2008 (what the heck for – were there really questions left unanswered by the previous 3 kicks-at-the-can?).

60 YEARS ON-THE-JOB?
Stanford University biologist Shripad Tuljapurkar says the age of retirement should be raised to 85 by the year 2050 due to trends in life expectancy. It’s predicted that over the next 20 years, anti-aging advances will raise life expectancy by 1 year each year. With people living to around 100 years, worldwide economies would be under tremendous strain if current retirement ages are maintained. Tuljaparkur also predicts that 50-year and 75-year home mortgages may not be unusual in the future. (Bankers cheer!)
– “Globe & Mail”

CAR TALK:
A new poll of 2,000 vehicle owners finds the majority talk to their cars regularly. Why?
• 50% of women & 37% of men believe their car has a personality.
• 20% actually worry about their car’s feelings.
• 20% of women have given their vehicle a pet name.
– “The Sun”

AGED TO PERFECTION:
What do men in their 50s have in common with men in their 20s? Well, according to a new survey, their sex lives. A team of experts from Norway and the US recently conducted a survey of well over a thousand men aged 20-to-79. One of the surprising results – when it comes to levels of sexual satisfaction, men in their 50s record similar levels to 20-29 year-olds. (Proving you can strike-out at any age.)
– ANI Health & Science

BEST BOOZERS ON THE BIGSCREEN:
A new ranking of the most-beloved movie characters who are famous for tippling …
5. ‘Trent Walker’ in “Swingers” (Vince Vaughn).
4. ‘Marion Ravenwood’ in “Raiders of the Lost Arc” (Karen Allen).
3. ‘Wong Fei-Hung’ in “The Legend of Drunken Master” (Jackie Chan).
2. ‘Arthur Bach’ in “Arthur” (Dudley Moore).
1. ‘Frank the Tank Ricard’ in “Old School” (Will Ferrell).
– “Maxim”

TAKE 2 TRUFFLES & CALL ME IN THE MORNING:
A prescription for chocolate may sound too good to be true, but researchers at the US National Institute of Health are currently testing a special formula of chocolate that uses a certain type of cocoa to see if it might have medical properties. It’s thought that its natural polyphenols, anti-oxidants that are good for health, may be used to treat specific disorders. But don’t get too excited yet – the research is in its initial stages, so it may be some time before physicians start writing prescriptions for chocolate. (Next week we’ll be hearing that gravy is good for you.)
– CNN

DVR TO DOMINATE:
Sales of ‘Digital Video Recorders’ are expected to more than triple to $1.3 billion in 2010, according to a new study by California-based consulting firm Carmel Group. The study predicts that half of all satellite & cable customers will be using DVRs within 4 years, as compared to 28% of current satellite users and 10% of cable customers. (Wouldn’t you rather have a ‘video-on-demand’ system where you pay-to-play any movie or TV show you want, when you want?)
– “Contact Music”

SEVEN NEW WONDERS:
In 2000, Swiss-born adventurer/filmmaker/entrepreneur Bernard Weber began a project to select the new ‘7 Wonders of the World’. Most of the original 7, a list 2,220-years-old, have disappeared. In fact, only the Great Pyramids of Egypt survive. Weber organized an international panel of experts that has come up with a list of 21 potential new wonders, including the Easter Island Statues, the Taj Mahal, the Sydney Opera House, the Eiffel Tower & the Great Wall of China. A Website offers the entire world the chance to participate in the first-ever global vote to elect the ‘New 7 Wonders of the World’. A live, worldwide telecast on January 1, 2007 will announce the winners.
NET: http://www.new7wonders.com/
– “Chicago Tribune”

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE?
It’s not just good legs and a sense of rhythm that set good dancers apart from the rest of us. According to Hebrew University psychology prof Richard Ebstein there are specific genes responsible for ‘terpsichorean’ (dancing) ability. After applying DNA testing to both good dancers and members of the general population, his research team discovered that dancers have consistent differences in 2 key genes. (Which no guy seems to possess.)
– “Jerusalem Post”

THE NEXT BIG THING?
A sampling of new ideas that are ready to hit the market from start-up companies …
• MusicGremlin – A ‘wi-fi MP3 player’ that connects to the Internet so you download music directly to the device instead of through a computer.
• PhotoVu – Wireless-enabled ‘digital picture frames’, so you can display digital photos on a wall instead of just in your computer or digital camera.
• True Jeans – A system that uses data input from consumers – their height, weight, in-seam, waist, etc – to create jeans that are absolutely a perfect fit.
• Xethanol – A company that’s developing systems to turn all kinds of things into the gasoline substitute ethanol, including corn-stalks, grass clippings, newspapers … even stale candy.
– “Fortune Magazine”

BS AMAZING FACT:
Bill Gates does not have an iPod.

THE BULL SHEET 02.23.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [57] Marc Garneau, Quebec City QC, Canada’s first astronaut (Space Shuttle Mission 13-1984)/President of the Canadian Space Agency (2002-05)/defeated Liberal MP candidate (2006)

1952 [54] Brad Whitford, Winchester MA, rock guitarist (Aerosmith-“I Don’t Want To Miss a Thing”, “Crazy”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2001)

1955 [51] Howard Jones, Southampton UK, classic rock singer (“Things Can Only Get Better”, “No One Is to Blame”)

1994 [12] Dakota Fanning, Conyers GA, movie actress (“War of the Worlds”, “Man on Fire”)  UP NEXT: Plays ‘Fern’ in “Charlotte’s Web”, coming in DECEMBER.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Curling is Cool Day”, celebrating the winter sport of curling just as the Olympic women’s final is being played TODAY in Torino, Italy. Think it’s only a game for old fogies? Uh uh … a new international calendar featuring nude & scantily-clad female curlers is completely sold out.
NET: http://www.thecurlingnews.com/calendar.html
It’s a great game if you can figure out what the hell they’re talking about. A few terms unique to the sport …
• Bonspiel … a curling tournament.
• Rocks … Also known as ‘stones’, they’re the playing pieces that each weigh about 42 lbs.
• Hack … The rubber foothold from which  curlers deliver the rock.
• Curl … A curve in the stone’s path down the ice caused by a twist of its handle.
• Swingy ice … When the ice conditions cause stones to curl greatly.
• “Hurry!” … The command shouted by the skip or the shooter to tell the sweepers to sweep.
• “Hurry hard!” … The command shouted to tell the sweepers to sweep faster.
• House … The target area, 12-ft in diameter, with concentric circles of 4- and 8-ft inside.
• Tee … The center of the house, also known as the ‘button’.
• Freeze … A shot that finishes in front of or next to another rock.
• Hammer … The last rock of each ‘end’.
• Bottle Skip … The 5th person or alternate who’s in charge of ‘refreshments’ for the rest of the team until he/she is called upon to curl for someone who is injured … or passed out.

• “Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day”. A recent poll of pet owners finds that fully 34% of us have eaten dog food at one time or another, most likely just to see what it tastes like. OK fine, but what’s the proper wine to serve?

• “Full Moon” of February, variously known as the ‘Snow Moon’ or the ‘Hunger Moon’.

• “International Chili Day”, when we’re encouraged to enjoy a steaming bowl to ward off the cold of winter.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1970 [36] Canada’s national music awards are first presented in Toronto (the ‘Juno Awards’ are originally called the ‘RPM Gold Leaf Awards’)

2000 [06] Carlos Santana ties “Grammy Awards” record by picking up 8 trophies for his multi-platinum album “Supernatural” and its first #1 single “Smooth”

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1886 [120] World’s 1st ‘Classified Ad’ appears in “Times of London” (“Single White Victorian looking for …”)

1905 [101] 1st ‘Rotary Club International’ established in Chicago, so-named because members rotate through various duties (like Shriners, only without the funny hats)

1997 [09] Scientists in Scotland announce the 1st successful cloning of an adult mammal, “Dolly” the sheep

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1906 [100] 5-ft, 7-in Canadian Tommy Burns (real name Noah Brusso of Hanover ON) defeats Marvin Hart in 20-round bout in Los Angeles to become ‘Shortest-Ever World Heavyweight Boxing Champ’

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] Flag Day (Mexico)
[Sun] For Pete’s Sake Day
[Mon] International Polar Bear Day
[Mon] “East Coast Music Awards” (Charlottetown PEI)
[Mon] Rose Monday
[Mon] Bun Day
[Tues] Spay Day USA
[Tues] Mardi Gras / Pancake Day
[Wed] 2005 RRSP deadline
This Week Is . . . Build A Better Trade Show Image Week
This Month Is . . . Heart Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
NEW BS CURSE-WORDS IT’S OK TO SAY:
Why? Because no one’s ever heard them!
• ‘Chuz’ – Used to insult someone by calling them a ‘chuzbucket’ or a ‘chuzball’.
• ‘Jizzlewax’ – Conveys utter angst, as in “I’m totally jizzlewaxed!”
• ‘Pfnark’ – An all-purpose noun or modifier as in “Holy pfnark!” or “You’re a pfnarkin’ loser!”
• ‘Snog’ – Used in combinations as ‘snogpuss’, ‘snog off’, and “Snoggle this, buster!”
• ‘Zighumple’ – A new term for doing the dirty deed as in “I sure hope I get zighumpled before I reach 30!”
– “Weekly World News”

BS WEB GOODIE:
An international group of lifelong ‘James Bond’ fans has launched a Website calling for a boycott of the upcoming film “Casino Royale” because they don’t consider fair-haired actor Daniel Craig worthy to fill the spy shoes worn by Sean Connery & Pierce Brosnan.
NET: http://www.craignotbond.com/

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Each year, over $300-billion-worth of THESE are given away at no charge.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Coupons.
 
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.