February 1, 2008

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Friday, February 1, 2008     Edition: #3702
Get Sheet-Faced Every Morning!

Actor Ethan Hawke, who’s wife Uma Thurman dumped him for cheating with the hired help, is now expecting his 1st child with aforesaid nanny, girlfriend Ryan Shawhughes (counting his 2 previous with Uma, that’s a 3rd kid for Ryan to rear) . . . 75-year-old ‘Cheeta the Chimp’, who was snatched from the Liberian jungle in 1932 to star in a long series of “Tarzan” movies, is getting his autobiography published THIS FALL (like many celebrity memoirs, it will be ghost-written) . . . Former “American Idol” winner Ruben Studdard (as in: ‘whatever happened to …’) has lost nearly 100 lbs for his upcoming stage role as Fats Domino in a touring production of the musical “Ain’t Misbehavin’” (you know you’re obese when you gotta lose a hundred to play a guy named ‘Fats’) . . . The next season of “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) may include Elvis’ 62-year-old former wife, Priscilla Presley; 73-year-old former “Brady Bunch” star Florence Henderson; and/or 74-year-old ex-“Dynasty” actress, Joan Collins (geez, hope the stage is wheelchair accessible) . . . And pregnant 16-year-old “Zoey 101” TV star Jamie Lynn Spears has bought her baby-daddy Casey Aldridge a new pickup, so he can safely take her & their hatchling on fishing trips (man, them Spears folk put the ‘diss’ in dysfunctional, don’t they?).


• Avril Lavigne – She’s applied for exclusive rights to her own name so she can use it to brand retail products that might include fragrances, aftershave, bath soap, body lotion, and talc.
• Britney Spears – Word has it when she gets out of the shrink ward, she’ll be moving into a new home, a $6-million Spanish-style seafront house in Hermosa Beach CA. Any rubber rooms?
• Faith Hill – She made the most of any female country artist in the past year … $19 million! Dixie Chicks pulled down $18 million; Martina McBride $12 million; and Carrie Underwood $7 million.
• Kanye West – He’s planning to launch the “Glow In The Dark Tour” later THIS YEAR that will also include Rihanna, NERD, and Lupe Fiasco. Venues & dates are yet to be announced.
• Madonna – Justin Timberlake & Timbaland are set to appear on her video for “4 Minutes to Save the World”, which they co-wrote and produced for her new album, due out in APRIL.
• Missy Elliott – Her new “Ching-A-Ling” video is said to be the first-ever 3-D music video. The special glasses needed to view the effects are being distributed at various retail outlets.


• “Canadian Idol” – SATURDAY & SUNDAY auditions move to Calgary’s Sunridge Mall.
• “House” (FOX) – SUNDAY in a special episode in the coveted post-Super Bowl slot, Mira Sorvino guest-stars as a doctor who becomes ill at the South Pole and must treat herself with the help of ‘House’ & his team via webcam.
• Mary J Blige/Maroon 5 – SATURDAY they headline the “Pepsi Smash Super Bowl Bash 2008” (VH1).
• “PGA Awards” – SATURDAY the 19th annual Producers Guild Awards in Hollywood honor the best in TV & film. Look for “No Country For Old Men” to build more Oscar momentum.
• “Race to the Red Carpet: Oscar Nominations” (Biography) – Not watching the Super Bowl on SUNDAY? Try this one-off special that takes a look at this year’s Academy Award nominees, complete with interviews & film clips.
• Sheryl Crow – THIS MORNING she’s on the “Today Show” (NBC).
• “Super Jam“ – SATURDAY this Super Bowl warm-up concert event in Scottsdale AZ features performances by Eddie Montgomery (Montgomery Gentry), Tim McGraw, Toby Keith, Paul Rodgers (Bad Company & Queen), and Steven Tyler (Aerosmith).
• Toni Braxton – THIS MORNING she’s a guest on “The View” (ABC/CTV).


• “The Eye” ( PG-13 Horror Thriller ): Jessica Alba stars as a blind concert violinist who receives an eye transplant that not only gives her sight, but also allows her to see into the supernatural world … whether she wants to or not. A remake of the 2002 Hong Kong film “Jian Gui”, partially shot in Vancouver.
NET: http://www.theeyethefilm.com/
• “Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour” ( G-Rated Music ) – This 3-D concert film from the preteen idol’s 2007 tour is scheduled to be in theaters for just 1 week before being released on DVD. But if the lineups are long, count on a holdover. The film only runs 74 minutes, so don’t expect to see an actual full concert. Word has it the 15-year-old tweeny star has already developed diva attitude.
NET: http://disney.go.com/disneypictures/hannahmontana3d/
• “Over Her Dead Body” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): Eva Longoria Parker (as she’s now known) plays a ghost who tries to sabotage the fledgling relationship between her old boyfriend (Paul Rudd) and his new, psychic girlfriend (Lake Bell). The original title was “How I Met My New Boyfriend’s Dead Fiancee or: Ghost Bitch” … which pretty much sums it all up.
NET: http://www.overherdeadbodymovie.com/
• “Strange Wilderness“ ( R-Rated Comedy ): Steve Zahn & Allen Covert play the co-hosts of a struggling animal adventure TV program. In an attempt to save the show, the 2 nature freaks go all-out to find the one creature they figure will guarantee big ratings … ‘Bigfoot’. The flick began production in 2005 and has been in re-shoots and re-editing ever since. Not a good sign.
NET: http://www.strangewildernessmovie.com/


Sushi restaurants will soon have their own Michelin star-style system to gauge just how ‘Japanese’ they really are. Experts from Japan’s Ministry of Agriculture will examine the ingredients used by each restaurant, and gauge to what extent they offer an authentic taste of Japan. (“This fishy stuff only get one star … it not raw enough!”)

United Nations peacekeepers have reportedly sprayed over prehistoric artwork that was painted onto rocks in the Sahara some 6,000 years ago. The ancient paintings and engravings of giraffes, buffalos, and soldiers have been defaced with slogans up to 3-feet high. Many of the graffiti artists, members of the UN Mission for the Referendum in Western Sahara, even went as far as to sign and date their handiwork. (Were cave paintings just the original graffiti?)
– “GQ”

The world’s 1st ‘vertical farm’ is being developed for Las Vegas. The 30-story project is designed to be a functional and profitable working farm, as well as providing the city with another tourist attraction. It’s designed to grow about 100 different crops, enough food to feed 72,000 people a year. Each floor’s controlled environment will be home to specific crops, ranging from strawberries to lettuce and even mini-bananas. Although the initial cost of the project is high, developers think the vertical farm could eventually become as profitable as a casino. (Instead of ‘out in the back 40′, you’ll now find pa laboring ‘up in the top 20′.)
– “Globe & Mail”


Every person who has blue eyes is apparently a descendent of a single ancestor, according to new research from the University of Copenhagen. It seems all humans originally had brown eyes but a mutation of the gene involved in producing melanin (which colors both hair & eyes), reduced production in the iris, thereby ‘diluting’ the hue from brown to blue. It’s thought the eye color probably originated in the Black Sea region around 10,000 years ago. (When Paul Newman was born.)
– “The Telegraph”


A new listing of the worst places in the USA to live based on a variety of factors, including commute times, income tax rates, unemployment, violent crimes, and weather …
5. Philadelphia PA
4. NYC
3. Flint MI
2. Stockton CA
1. Detroit MI
– “Forbes Magazine”

• Among Americans, Super Bowl Sunday is the 2nd-biggest food-consumption day of the year after Thanksgiving.
• A new study by the UK’s School Food Trust has found that children who eat a healthy lunch are more than 3 times as likely as those who eat less healthily to become rowdy afterward.

“There’s always someone you wanna kill at some point in your life, so you think about that person.”
– Actor Javier Bardem, on how he prepared to play ruthless killer ‘Anton’ in the critically-acclaimed movie “No Country For Old Men”.


1950 [58] Mike Campbell, Odessa TX, lead guitarist/mandolinist (Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers-“Into The Great Wide Open”, “Free Fallin’”)

1968 [40] Lisa Marie Presley, Memphis TN, Elvis Presley’s idle rich daughter/wannabe singer (“In The Ghetto”, “Lights Out”)/Mrs Michael Lockwood since 2006/ex-Mrs Nicolas Cage (2002)/ex-Mrs Michael Jackson (1994-96)/ex-Mrs Danny Keough (1988-94)

1969 [39] Patrick Wilson, Buffalo NY, rock drummer (Weezer-“Perfect Situation”, “Beverly Hills”)

1975 [33] Big Boi (Antwan Patton), Savannah GA, hip-hop artist (Outkast-“The Way You Move”, “Ms Jackson”)/sometime movie actor (“Who’s Your Caddy?”, “Idlewild”)

Oldies singer Graham Nash (Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young) is 66; Rock bassist Robert DeLeo (Stone Temple Pilots) is 42; Rock drummer Ben Mize (Counting Crows) is 37; Pop singer Shakira (“Hips Don’t Lie”) is 31.

Movie actress Blythe Danner (“Meet the Parents”) is 65; Broadway actor Nathan Lane (“The Producers”) is 52; TV actress Maura Tierney (“ER”) is 43; Reggaeton artist Daddy Yankee (“Gasolina”) is 31; Pop singer Sean Kingston (“Beautiful Girls”) is 18.


• “Bubble Gum Day”, an annual FUN-draising idea in which kids & teachers who donate to a charity get to chew bubble gum at school.
• “Carnaval de Québec”, the 54th edition of Canada’s largest outdoor winter carnival through February 17th includes night parades, slide runs, ice fishing, concerts, snow sculptures, dogsled rides, and the snow bath. The official carnival booze is a ‘Caribou’, containing brandy, vodka, sherry & port. The festival’s mascot is the famous snowman ‘Bonhomme Carnaval’
NET: http://www.carnaval.qc.ca
• “Ontario Winter Carnival Bon Soo”, the 45th annual through February 10th in Sault Ste Marie ON, featuring over 125 events and known as the ‘Greatest Snow on Earth!’.
NET: http://www.bonsoo.on.ca/
• “Wear Red Day”, the 5th annual observance for women created by the Heart Association to raise awareness about heart disease, the #1 cause of death among women in North America.
NET: http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/hearttruth/wrd/index.htm
• “Winterlude” through February 17th, the 30th annual celebrating the season outdoors in the capital region of Ottawa-Gatineau. Highlights include ice sculptures, a playground made of snow, and best of all, the Rideau Canal … touted as the world’s longest skating rink.
PHONER: 800.465.1867 (National Capital Commission)
NET: http://www.capcan.ca/winterlude

• “Job Shadow Day” in America, the 10th annual that’s expected to include 1 million students shadowing workplace mentors on-the-job. (Similar to “Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day”)
NET: http://www.jobshadow.org
• “National Freedom Day” in the USA, begun in 1948 to promote good feelings, harmony, and equal opportunity among all citizens and to remember that the USA is a nation dedicated to the ideal of freedom.
NET: http://www.americaslibrary.gov/cgi-bin/page.cgi/es/pa/free_1
• “Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket Month”as declared by the Food Retailers Association. Shopping carts cost more than $100 apiece and the Food Marketing Institute estimates 1.8 million of them are taken from supermarkets in North America EACH YEAR. Who pays for this? You do, because it means your food ends up costing more.

• “Groundhog Day” – An annual celebration based on the old Scottish rhyme that says: “If Candlemas Day is bright and clear, there’ll be 2 winters in the year.” It was actually the Teutons (Germans) who first decided that if the Sun was out on “Candlemas Day”, an animal would cast a shadow, predicting 6 more weeks of bad weather (aka ‘second winter’).
– Canada’s best known prognosticator is ‘Wiarton Willie’.
PHONER: 877.844.9884/519.534.5492 (Wiarton Willie Festival Committee)
NET: http://www.brucepeninsula.org/willie.htm
– ‘Punxsutawney Phil’ is America’s original forecaster and most famous hog. Despite what organizers would have you believe, since 1887 this ‘Seer of Seers, Sage of Sages, Prognosticator of Prognosticators, and Weather Prophet Extraordinary’ has seen his shadow about 90% of the time and only made correct predictions 39% of the time.
PHONERS: 814.938.2555 (Historical Society)/814.938.7700 (Chamber of Commerce)
NET: http://www.groundhog.org/
• “Imbolc” (pronounced ‘IHM-bulk’), the ancient Wiccan festival also known as ‘Candlemas’, ‘Brighid’ (‘breed’), or ‘Oimelc’ (‘EE-mulk’) which means ewe’s milk. The celebration signals the middle of the season of long nights and anticipates the upcoming season of light. Celebrants make ‘Corn Maidens’ from corn and wheat and place them in a cradle known as a ‘Bride’s Bed’.
• “Men’s Grooming Day”. Yeah it’s here again already, your annual day to clean up your act.

• “Boy Scout & Girl Scout Sunday”, an annual recognition of the contributions of both young people and adults to the movement that’s turning 100 years old THIS YEAR.
• “Super Bowl XLII” (FOX/CTV), the NFL championship being played at University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale AZ. A few highlights …
– Game time for the NY Giants vs New England Patriots is 4 pm MST but the actual kick-off will be closer to 4:25 pm. Pre-game coverage begins at 10 am MST.
– The game will be seen by more than 800 million people in over 230 countries. LAST YEAR’s game attracted just over 93 million viewers in America and about 3 million Canadians.
– Pre-game entertainment includes Ryan Seacrest blitzing the stars on the ‘red carpet’. Prior to kick-off, Jordin Sparks sings the anthem. Halftime entertainment is by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers.
– A ticket to the Super Bowl: $2,000. 30-seconds of advertising during the game: $2.7 million.
NET: http://www.nfl.com/superbowl

2004 [04] In the infamous ‘Super Bowl Wardrobe Malfunction’, Justin Timberlake rips Janet Jackson’s top during the halftime show, exposing her breast (which becomes the excuse for a year of excruciating media censorship)

1964 [44] Governor of Indiana declares “Louie, Louie” by the Kingsmen ‘obscene’ (an ensuing FCC investigation disagrees, only finding it ‘unintelligible’)


1898 [110] 1st ‘Auto Insurance’ issued as Dr Truman Martin of Buffalo NY pays $11.25 for $5,000 in liability coverage (next day the company notifies him that his rates will triple because he had an accident)

1920 [88] Royal Northwest Mounted Police merge with Dominion Police to form ‘RCMP’

1968 [40] Canadian Army, Navy & Air Force merge to become ‘Canadian Armed Forces’ (but Canadians still call them ‘army guys’ … even if they’re pilots … and they’re women)


1979 [29] Beginning of ‘Coldest Month’ ever recorded in Canada (an average temp of -47.9 C at Eureka NT)

[Mon] Midpoint of Winter
[Mon] Rose Monday
[Tues] Weatherman’s Day
[Tues] Juno Awards nominations announced
[Tues] Shrove Tuesday/Pancake Day/Mardi Gras
[Thurs] “Survivor Micronesia: Fans vs Favorites” debuts (CBS/Global)
[Thurs] Chinese New Year
This Week Is … Solo Diners Eat Out Week
This Month Is … Creative Romance Month


• The average number of people at a Super Bowl party is 17.
• About 5% of Americans will watch the game alone.
• It’s estimated that 6% of Americans call in sick the Monday after Super Bowl.
• The Super Bowl is measured in Roman numerals because an NFL season spans 2 calendar years.
• 35% of people who actually attend the game write it off as a corporate expense.
• 72 official footballs are available for use during the Super Bowl game.
• Super Bowl Sunday is the biggest Winter outdoor grilling day.
– YumSugar.com


Are the new ID requirements for crossing the border from Canada to the USA necessary or just a result of increasing bureaucracy? As of YESTERDAY, photo ID plus a birth certificate are the minimum requirement for both Canadian & American citizens crossing into the USA by car or boat. (Those flying in already require a passport).

Today’s Question: Your ability to do THIS is diminished when you are lying down.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Smell.

The only thing worse than being unemployed is having a job.

Leave a comment