Wednesday, February 14, 2018 – Edition: #6157
Another Sheetload of Bull!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
“The Bull Sheet” will not be publishing on Monday, February 19 to observe the Canadian ‘Family Day’ holiday. All subscribers will receive credit for the missed service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, February 20.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ ‘The Office’ star John Krasinski says that he would love to get the “gang back together” for a revival of the show, but he hasn’t been contacted about it. Recent reports have suggested that early talks were taking place about reviving the NBC series. Although Krasinski, who played Jim Halpert on the show, likes the idea, he told Ellen DeGeneres that he hadn’t received a call about it yet. Quote: “What does that say? NBC’s like ‘You know who we didn’t like? Jim.’”
(We believe that was a joke!)
★ A British man is taking legal action against Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson after he was involved in a car crash allegedly caused by their son Chester (Chet). Terry Moogan claims that 27 year-old Chester was driving his vehicle “in an unreasonable and unsafe manner” and was under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol at the time of the 2015 accident on an L.A. freeway. The suit also states that Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson knew their son was a user of drugs and alcohol, and negligently permitted Chester to operate their vehicle and thus, in addition to Chester, are responsible for the physical and emotional injuries Mr. Moogan sustained.
(A classic attempt to cash-in on the rich and famous…)
★ Sacha Baron Cohen paid O.J. Simpson more than $20,000 to appear in his next movie, which has prompted outrage from the families of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Nicole Brown’s sister Tanya said that, “Nicole and Ron are two human beings who were brutally murdered. This is not a joke nor is it entertainment. If Sacha makes this a comedic effort, his victims will be personified as a joke.”
★ Kathy Bates and Kim Dickens have joined the cast of the ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ spin-off ‘Highwaymen’. It has not yet been announced what roles they will be playing. ‘Highwaymen’ will be based around legendary Texas Rangers Frank Hamer and Manny Gault, who hunted down the infamous Depression-era outlaws Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow and put an end to their violent robbery spree.
★ HBO has decided to allow James Franco to return playing twin brothers Vincent and Frankie Martino in season two of ‘The Deuce’, despite the multiple allegations of inappropriate behavior that have been directed at him. According to Entertainment Tonight, ‘The Deuce’ scriptwriter Megan Abbott told reporters at the Writers Guild Awards ceremony New York City on Sunday that Franco would ”of course” be joining the show next season.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Charles Barkley, Monica
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jodie Foster, Tom Hanks in a box ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Michael Pena, O’Shea Jackson Jr. ( R )
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Patton Oswalt, Andy Serkis, Royal Blood ( R )
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Taye Diggs, Padma Lakshmi
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Michael B. Jordan, guest co-host Catt Sadler
• “The Talk” (CBS): Josh Hartnett, Piers Morgan
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Lupita Nyong’o
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Natalie Portman, Dax Shepard
• “The Top 14 Greatest Valentine’s Day Movies of All Time” (HALLMARK): The top 14 Valentine’s Day movies as ranked by Popstar magazine are counted down. Included: “Sleepless in Seattle”; “Love Actually”; “Pretty Woman”; and “The Notebook.” Dean Cain hosts.
• “2018 Winter Olympics” (NBC/CBC): Figure Skating, Alpine Skiing, Skeleton, Speed Skating, Curling, Women’s Hockey, Luge, Snowboarding.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Demi Lovato – is excited to be hitting the road with DJ Khaled, an artist she admires. She also is dropping hints that the two may appear together onstage during their shows: “You’ll just have to wait and see.”
• Shawn Mendes – posted a vacation shot of himself, shirtless and wearing a bathing suit while perched on a swing over water with the caption, “album soon come”. (We think that means he has a new album coming soon.)
• Metallica – frontman James Hetfield has joined the cast of the Ted Bundy biopic, “Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil, and Vile”. He’ll play Officer Bob Hayward, the Utah highway patrol veteran who was the first officer to arrest the serial killer in 1975. No release date has been set.
• Jon Bon Jovi – is preparing to embark on a 30-city U.S. tour, but before leaving home, he admitted he wouldn’t be able to find his ”mojo” on stage without his trusty sneakers, which he’s worn onstage for the last 15 years.
• Styx – former singer Dennis DeYoung has announced ‘Dennis DeYoung: The Grand Illusion 40th Anniversary Tour’, which will include all of Styx’s hits which were written by DeYoung, including classics like ‘Come Sail Away’, ‘Babe’, and ‘Mr. Roboto”.
• Guns N’ Roses – Former drummer Steven Adler will perform the band’s 1987 debut, “Appetite For Destruction”, in its entirety on his upcoming 2018 tour with the resurrected Adler’s Appetite.
• Seal – will not face any criminal charges in the sexual battery complaint filed by a former neighbor. The L.A. County District Attorney’s Office rejected the case citing lack of witnesses or evidence to corroborate the allegations made by actress Tracey Birdsall.
• Luke Bryan – will release his most recent album, ‘What Makes You Country’ on vinyl March 9. It will contain the bonus track, ‘I Can’t Even’.
• Daryle Singletary – was found dead in his Tennessee home on Monday. He was 46. Singletary, known for the hit ‘Too Much Fun’, was very popular in the 1990s and early 2000s for his traditional country sound.
• Jason Michael Carroll – says he has had a headache ever since getting into a car accident while driving his father-in-law’s car on Friday. He wrote on Facebook that another car pulled in front of him. He says that between that, financial worries, and his dog getting sick, he’s had a rough week. (It sounds like the beginnings of a great country song, though!)
CAN BUY YOU LOVE:
The old saying is that “money can’t buy happiness”. The Beatles sang that “Money can’t buy you love”. But e-harmony is reporting that if money doesn’t buy you love, it certainly has a lot to do with it. The dating site surveyed 2,000 “everyday Americans” in long-term relationships, and determined 64% of them are “happy” with their spousal setup. But for those with household incomes greater than $200,000, “happy” becomes elevated to “completely in love” 71 percent of the time.
(Even if money DOESN’T buy love, I’d like to be able to find that out first-hand!)
(Could it be that some of those people just ‘love’ being rich?)
(Still, I’d much rather be rich and miserable than poor and miserable!)
SINGLE, NO NEED TO MINGLE:
If you are singing the ‘Oh Woe is Me’ song today because you are single and it’s Valentine’s Day, here’s the good news: Science says that it’s good to be single. For one thing, single people tend to embrace their alone time. Not only do they enjoy it, but studies show that they benefit from it. Single people have also been found to have stronger social networks that they can reach out to for help and support. And singles tend to work out more, and therefore are generally more physically fit than their married peers.
(Plus, you don’t have to buy grossly overpriced chocolates and flowers today!)
(Plus they never get nagged!)
(And you don’t have to split your dessert with anybody!)
THE LANGUAGE OF ROSES:
Red . . . symbolizes love & passion.
White . . . innocence, purity, & sometimes death.
Yellow . . . friendship or jealousy.
Yellow & Red . . . represents happiness.
Deep Pink . . . gratitude & appreciation.
Pale Pink . . . conveys admiration.
– Association of the Canadian Floral Industry
DOES CURLING ROCK?
One of the most polarizing topics when it comes to the Winter Olympics is this: Curling…is it awesome…or is it stupid? To some, it is part of their nation’s cultural fabric. To others, it’s something that they see people doing every four years on TV and they wonder why. Here are some of the best actual tweets about curling since the start of the Pyeongchang Games:
• “Olympic curling appears like an old spirit friend. I watch. I listen. Spellbound. An hour passes. And I have no idea what just happened.”
• “Curling has to be the most obscure Olympic sport. What is the point?”
• “Is curling just swiffering on ice?”
• “I have fallen victim to the hype. I watched curling, and by gosh … I liked it. I need counseling.”
• “Curling has to be one of the most soothing sports I have ever seen.”
• “I haven’t been this nervous watching a mixed doubles curling game since I watch my 1st mixed doubles curling game on Thursday.”
• “Why haven’t they tried curling on the luge track yet?”
• “The Olympics are good because people say things like ‘he used to be the bad boy of curling’ and they’re being totally serious.”
• “I used to skip class in high school to watch curling. A few of us even went curling at the local curling club. It is the second-greatest justification for getting drunk in the winter, after ice fishing.”
BS CHRONOMETER 02.14.18
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1942  Michael Bloomberg, Boston MA, media mogul (Bloomberg News)/estimated net worth of $51.9 billion (2018)/NYC mayor 2002-13
1948  (Raymond) Teller, Philadelphia PA, Las Vegas magician (the shorter, less obnoxious half of Penn & Teller)/TV personality (“Penn & Teller Fool Us” since 2011)
1970  Simon Pegg (Beckingham), Brockworth UK, movie actor (“Shaun of the Dead”, “Hot Fuzz”)
1972  Rob Thomas, Landstuhl Military Base, Germany, pop/rock singer (‘Lonely No More’, w/Santana-‘Smooth’, Matchbox 20-‘Bent’, ‘3 AM’)
1978  Danai Gurira, Grinnel IA, TV actress (‘Michonne’ on “The Walking Dead” since 2012)
1990  Brett Dier, London ON, TV actor (‘Michael Cordero Jr’ on “Jane the Virgin” since 2014)
1992  Freddie Highmore, London UK, TV actor (“Bates Motel” 2013-2017. “The Good Doctor” since 2017))
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Valentine’s Day”, the most widely celebrated unofficial holiday. A few interesting facts …
– The Catholic Church recognizes at least 3 different saints named Valentine, all of whom were martyred, one for performing secret weddings for young lovers.
– Pope Gelasius declared February 14th “St Valentine’s Day” around 498 AD, in part to replace the ancient Roman fertility festival “Lupercalia”.
– About 1 billion Valentine cards are exchanged, making it the 2nd largest card-sending occasion after Christmas .
– It may come as no surprise that Valentine’s Day ranks number one in terms of the most fresh flowers sold and delivered.
• “Call In Single Day”, when those not celebrating Valentine’s are encouraged to take a day off work and set aside some time for themselves. Similarly, it’s “Singles Awareness Day” and “International Quirky Alone Day”, a reminder to value yourself, develop individuality, and celebrate the possibilities available to single people.
• “Donor Day”, encouraging us to fill out an organ & tissue donation card and also to donate blood. You could save a life! How appropriate that it’s on the day when we give hearts.
• “Ferris Wheel Day”, celebrating the 1860 birth of George Washington Gale Ferris, the Galesburg IL engineer who invented the ‘Ferris wheel’ for the 1893 “Chicago World’s Exposition”. The original wheel measured 250 feet in diameter and could hold 1,440 people.
• “Have-A-Heart Day”, when vegetarians encourage you to quit eating animals. (So go kill a carrot today!)
• “Library Lovers Day”, an annual salute to the people who like to book it.
• “Pet Theft Awareness Day”, promoting awareness of the need for pet protection in public places. (Go ahead … just try and steal my great dane!)
COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Gumdrop Day
[Thurs] Hippo Day
[Fri] Almond Day
[Fri] Innovation Day
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2011  TV game show “Jeopardy!” begins a series pitting human players Brad Rutter and Ken Jennings against an IBM computer named ‘Watson’, which eventually wins the first place prize of $1 million
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2015  Lady Gaga gets engaged to TV actor Taylor Kinney (“Chicago Fire”), but it fails to last the test of time
2016  Adele’s 3rd album, “25”, debuts at #1 and breaks first-week sales records in multiple countries
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2005  YouTube is launched by a group of college students, eventually becoming the largest video sharing website in the world and a main source for viral videos
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2013  Bankrupt airline American Airlines and US Airways merge, forming the world’s largest air carrier under the name American Airlines
2014  California’s Ivanpah Solar Electric Generating System, the world’s largest solar energy plant, opens in the Mojave Desert
BS WACK VALENTINE’S FACTS:
✓ In order of popularity, Valentine’s Day cards are given to teachers, children, mothers, wives, sweethearts and pets.
✓ When a person falls in love, they lose an average of about 2 friends.
✓ 27 percent of those who buy flowers on Valentine’s Day are women.
✓ The average person spends 2 weeks of his/her life kissing.
✓ The average person spends 2 years of their life making love.
✓Every year, more than 11,000 Americans are injured while experimenting with bizarre sexual positions.
BS LEAST POPULAR VALENTINE CARDS:
• “Who needs flowers when we have love?”
• “To show you my love, tonight we’re eating at a place with silverware!”
• “Thinking of you sweetheart, which, technically, the court order can’t prevent.”
• “Just wanted to say ‘I love you’ when I wasn’t falling down drunk.”
• “If only we weren’t so closely related!”
• “You’re too beautiful to resist, my under-the-ether dental patient.”
• “Hey Valentine, I’ll give you money to have sex with me.”
– First published in “BS” 2001.
BS RANDOM JOKE:
They say make up sex is the best, which is lucky for me, because all my sex is made up.
BS PHONE STARTER:
• What is the best Valentine’s Day gift that you have ever received…or heard about and are green with envy?
BS VALENTINE QUIZ:
Q: What romantic souvenir did Peter the Great give to his unfaithful wife?
A: He had the head of his wife’s lover cut off and put into a jar of preserving alcohol, which he then placed by her bed.
Q: It takes exactly 18 minutes to cool this Valentine treat. What is it?
A: The hot chocolate that makes up a Hershey’s ‘Kiss’.
Q: Whose heart beats faster – your lover’s after a bout of passion or your dog’s when you walk in the door?
A: A dog’s heart beats up to 40 times faster than a human’s.
Q: Why is it that we love someone with ‘all of our heart’? Why not the spleen?
A: It was widely believed in the Middle Ages that the heart was the center of human intelligence.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: One in five women will do THIS for Valentine’s Day.
Answer: Buy themselves a gift.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Love isn’t something that you find. Love is something that finds you.