Wednesday, February 8, 2012 Edition: #4686
We’ve Got Our Sheet Together!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
“Twilight Saga” actor Jackson Rathbone (‘Jasper Hale’) has just received the news he’s going to become a dad (even better, scans show the baby is not a matricidal vampire-human mutant!) . . . Former “Friends” star David Schwimmer is facing flack from NYC neighbors after tearing down his 5-story East Village townhouse, constructed in 1852, which was slated to be reviewed for historical designation this year (and here’s why – he wanted an elevator) . . . It’s been announced this year’s Academy Awards telecast will NOT include performances of the nominees for ‘Best Original Song’ (they didn’t want an Elton John-Madonna cat fight to break out) . . . The divorce lawyer for Kim Kardashian’s soon-to-be-ex, Kris Humphries, plans to expose the methodology of reality TV by proving Kim had no intention of staying married to Kris, she just wanted big ratings for her show (ironically, the attorney’s also asking the divorce trial be televised) . . . Courtney Love is threatening to sue Maer Roshan, author of the new book “Courtney Comes Clean”, claiming he unlawfully obtained sealed court documents filed by Francis Bean Cobain in 2009 that claim her mom’s reckless behavior contributed to the death of her pets (a glimpse into parental hell) . . . The Alfred F Rosenheim mansion, the 15,000-sq-ft Los Angeles palace used as the backdrop for FX’s creepy hit series “American Horror Story”, has hit the market for a cool $17 million (poltergeists no charge) . . . And Miley Cyrus has piped up to defend troubled actress Demi Moore, tweeting that her personal problems are simply ‘nobody’s business’ (now there’s just who you want on your side, a famous ‘Bong Girl’).
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – Vocalists compete for a spot in the semifinals.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Dr Dog (“Be the Void”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – The Band Perry (“The Band Perry”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Far East Movement (“Free Wired”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Of Montreal (“Paralytic Stalks”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Dierks Bentley (“Home”).
• “Person to Person” (CBS) – Charlie Rose & Lara Logan host this CBS News special that takes viewers inside the homes of actor George Clooney and rocker Jon Bon Jovi, and into the private office of billionaire Warren Buffett. (Based on the legendary Edward R Murrow specials of the 1950s.)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Tim McGraw (“Emotional Traffic”) & Faith Hill (“Illusion”, coming later this year)
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Chris Brown – He’s slotted in to perform at this year’s Grammy Awards in Los Angeles, the event where his career almost ended 3 years ago after an assault on then-girlfriend Rihanna on awards weekend.
• Coldplay – Tonight they perform a special “iHeartRadio Benefit Concert” at Club Nokia in Los Angeles presented by Clear Channel Media. Proceeds benefit LA-based youth charities.
• Drake – He’s being sued by ex-girlfriend Ericka Lee who says she’s the voice on the other end of the phone call in his track “Marvin’s Room”. She’s seeking a co-writing credit and undisclosed damages. Drake’s rep notes it was only after Lee retained a lawyer that the problem surfaced.
• Kenny Chesney – “You & Tequila”, his duet with Grace Potter that’s up for 2 Grammy Awards and 5 ACM Awards, has now been certified Platinum. It’s the 2nd million-selling single off the album “Hemingway’s Whiskey”.
• MIA – It would seem her much ballyhooed ‘middle finger malfunction’ in the Super Bowl halftime show was more about promotion than protest. Her new video for “Bad Girls” from her upcoming 4th album is now one of the most watched on several websites.
• Madonna – Live Nation has announced her first tour in 3 years will start May 29th in Tel Aviv, Israel before moving on to Europe, North America, South America, and Australia, where she hasn’t performed in 20 years.
• Miranda Lambert – Tonight she guest stars on “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (NBC) as an aspiring actress who may be in danger. Harry Connick Jr also appears.
• Paul McCartney – It’s been announced he’ll headline a June 4th concert in front of Buckingham Palace to mark Queen Elizabeth II’s ‘Diamond Jubilee’, celebrating 60 years on the British throne. Also on the bill: Annie Lennox, Elton John, Tom Jones, and many more.
• Ricky Martin – Last night he guest-starred on “Glee” (FOX), playing a Spanish teacher.
BS CUTTING-EDGE VOCAB:
New terms leaking into our lingo …
• ‘Dark Web’ – Where users shop for illegal goods using code names. It’s facilitated by a global network of computer users who believe the Internet should operate beyond the supervision of law enforcement agencies.
• ‘Friend Zone’ – The restrictive area you’re placed in when you want to have a romantic relationship but the other person doesn’t. The target of affection agrees to spend platonic time together but not to be pursued romantically. “Huffington Post” calls it the penalty box of dating. Can also be used as a verb: “I won’t be late coming home from Laura’s, I’ve been friend-zoned.”
• ‘Hard Link’ – A tag, such as a QR code or barcode assigned to an object that, when scanned with a smartphone, displays online data about the object. The key difference between the 2-dimensional QR code and the single dimensional barcode is the amount of data they contain. QR Codes store up to 4,296 characters of text.
• ‘Tiny Homes’ – A growing eco-friendly lifestyle spurred by a spate of photobooks on do-it-yourself shoebox houses. It’s part of a grassroots movement to scale things back to simpler shelter. (Another word for these … sheds.)
The symbol of success often involves having the biggest house possible, but our outsized fantasies seem to be shifting. According to a new poll, more than 75% of us consider having sidewalks and places to take a walk one of the top priorities when deciding where to live. 60% say we’d sacrifice a bigger house to live in a neighborhood that features a mix of houses, stores, and businesses within an easy walk. A 2010 study found the ideal square footage people desired for their homes is dropping dramatically. It’s becoming increasingly clear that the dream of buying a big old house is going to be revised for the next generation. (For more info, see ‘Tiny Homes’ above.)
The future of waste receptacle technology is here, and it has an LCD screen that can tell you how your stocks are doing today, how long it will take you to get home on public transit, and what the weather looks like for tomorrow. It’s bombproof, offers a free Wi-Fi connection, and it appears that the only thing that hasn’t improved is how it handles waste. Some 100 of these computerized trash bins are going to be placed in London’s financial district before the 2012 Olympic Games begin in July. (Even garbage has gone digital.)
RIDICULOUS SEX MYTHS EVERYONE BELIEVES:
• Pregnancy happens immediately or not at all. In truth, sperm can stay alive and viable for up to 5 days. The venerable Mayo Clinic speculates they may remain fertile even longer.
• Men only like ‘casual sex’ while women only like ‘committed sex’. According to studies, in a situation when it feels right both genders simply enjoy it for the joy it brings.
• College girls go wild and experiment with same-sex relationships. According to a Centers for Disease Control study, women with degrees are less likely to have tried a lesbian adventure.
• Men & women reach their ‘sexual peak’ at different ages. According to Cornell University, hormones (whether testosterone or estrogen) aren’t the deciding factor. It has more to do with your attitude toward sex and level of experience.
• Sex sells in advertising. In fact, studies show that less than 10% of men exposed to sexual ads can recall the brand name being promoted. For women, brand name recall is cut in half.
– Condensed from Cracked.com
THE DOWNSIDE OF SOLOING:
Are unmarried people discriminated against? Bella DePaulo, the author of “Singled Out”, claims that ‘Single-ism’ – the stereotyping, stigmatizing, and discrimination against people who are single – is largely unrecognized and unchallenged. Activists say that unmarried people pay more for health and car insurance than married people; they don’t get the same kind of tax breaks; and co-op boards, mortgage brokers, and landlords often pass them over. So do the employers with the power to promote them. (Sometimes even living together doesn’t count the same as traditional marriage.)
GUYS AND DOLLS:
‘GI Joe’ is turning 48-years-old this week. Since February 1964, well over 300 million of the figures and 200 million related vehicles have been sold. At the height of popularity, 60% of North American boys owned ‘GI Joes’ and the average owner had 13 of the figures. The toy spawned the term ‘action figure’ because it was thought boys would not want to play with a ‘doll’. (Unless it’s the blow-up kind.)
– PA News
FOR THE RECORD:
“The Simpsons Ultimate Fan Marathon Challenge” goes from today at 5:30 pm until Sunday at 8:00 am. The idea is to break the current Guinness World Record for ‘Longest Continuous Television Viewing’: 86 hours, 6 minutes, 41 seconds. The attempt takes place in Los Angeles where fans will hunker down to watch 500 continuous episodes of “The Simpsons”. (Doh!)
DID YOU KNOW?
• An estimated 8-in-10 NFL players are either bankrupt, jobless, or divorced 2 years into retirement.
– “Christian Science Monitor”
• In a survey of 275 corporations, 8% say they discourage humor in the workplace while another 8% actually include ‘fun’ as part of their mission statement. The remainder seem ambivalent.
BS CHRONOMETER 02.08.12
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943  Creed Bratton (Charles Schneider), LA CA, TV actor (‘Creed’ on “The Office” since 2005)/oldies guitarist (The Grass Roots-“Midnight Confessions”, “Let’s Live for Today”)
1955  John Grisham, Jonesboro AR, lawyer-turned-novelist (“The Confession”, “The Firm”) ● BS FACTOID: Movies made from his books include “The Pelican Brief” (1993), “A Time to Kill” (1996), “Runaway Jury” (2003), and “Christmas With the Kranks” (2004).
1961  Vince Neil (Wharton), Hollywood CA, rock vocalist (Motley Crue-“If I Die Tomorrow”, “Girls Girls Girls”)
1969  Keith Nelson, PA, rock guitarist (Buckcherry-“Sorry”, “Lit Up”)
1977  Dave ‘Phoenix’ Farrell, Plymouth MA, rock musician (Linkin Park-“The Catalyst”, “In the End”)
1985  Jeremy Davis, North Little Rock AR, rock bassist (Paramore-“Decode”, “Crushcrushcrush”)
1994  Nikki Yanofsky, Hampstead QC, jazz-pop singer (“Cool My Heels”, “I Believe”)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Laugh & Get Rich Day”, in recognition of laughter’s power to add to the bottom line. It’s claimed that people who laugh are more effective and tend to remember things better.
• “Love May Make the World Go ‘Round, But Laughter Keeps Us from Getting Dizzy Week” begins. It’s dedicated to late entertainer Victor Borge’s notion that ‘laughter is the shortest distance between two people’.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2007  39-year-old wannabe actress, model, and million-heir Anna Nicole Smith is found dead in room #607 of the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, Florida
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1992  Novelty tune “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred peaks at #1 on pop singles chart
2002  Sting, Dixie Chicks, LeAnn Rimes, and Robbie Robertson share the stage with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir at the opening ceremony of the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1816  1st ‘Police Dog’ used to make an arrest (a Bull Terrier in Britain)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2004  Beyoncé wins 5 trophies at the Grammy Awards, tying the record for female artists co-held by Alicia Keys, Lauryn Hill, and Norah Jones
COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Stop Bullying Day
[Thurs] Read In the Bathtub Day
[Fri] “Journey 2: The Mysterious Island”; “Safe House”; “Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace 3-D”; “The Vow” open in theaters
[Fri] 2012 MusiCares Person Of the Year
[Sat] Pro Sports Wives Day
[Sun] 2012 Grammy Awards
This Week Is … Consumer Protection Week
This Month Is … Black History Month
BS MALL SHOPS IN HELL:
✗ Really Painful Manicures
✗ Fish ‘n Lips
✗ Boozy, Irritable, Big & Tall Men’s Shop
✗ This Country’s Best Unrefrigerated Yogurt
✗ Ahmedinejad & Fitch
✗ Burlington Goat Factory
✗ Brown Julius
✗ Old Gravy
BS PHONE STARTER:
Should we be teaching our kids how to fail? (A British girls’ school is holding ‘Failure Week’ to teach students to embrace risk, build resilience, and learn from their mistakes. There’ll be workshops and activities, with parents and teachers joining in with tales of their own failures.)
MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANKIND:
● Why do we say something is ‘out of whack’? What is a ‘whack’?
● If a pig loses its voice, is it ‘DISgruntled’?
● Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It’s just stale bread to begin with.
● When cheese gets it’s picture taken, what does it say?
● Is it premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married?
● Is it procrastination if you decide to postpone it RIGHT NOW?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Which was the first couple to be shown in bed together on prime-time TV?
a. Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz on “I Love Lucy”.
b. Fred & Wilma Flintstone on “The Flintstones”. [CORRECT]
c. Hoss & Little Joe on “Bonanza”.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: You are 25% more likely to do THIS if you’re an iPhone user rather than a Blackberry user.
Answer: Date a co-worker.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Don’t take life too seriously. It’s not permanent.