February 1 2022

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Tuesday, February 1, 2022 – Edition: #7158

Get Sheet-Faced Every Morning!


★ Rihanna is pregnant, expecting her first baby with rapper A$AP Rocky. The couple was photographed out in New York City over the weekend, where Rihanna debuted her baby bump while wearing a long pink jacket. The couple has been friends for years, and started dating at the end of 2020. In May, A$AP Rocky told GQ about his romance with Rihanna, calling her the “love of my life.” When asked what it felt like to be in a relationship, he said, “So much better when you got ‘the One.’ She amounts to probably, like, a million of the other ones. I think when you know, you know. She’s the One.”
★ John Mulaney will return to his “Saturday Night Live” roots to host the show on Feb. 26. That will mark Mulaney’s fifth time hosting SNL, which will make him an official member of the series’ prestigious “Five-Timers Club”. The select group includes other famous faces like Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, Tom Hanks, Steve Martin, and Scarlett Johansson, to name a few. Paul Rudd is the latest member to join the club after hosting for his fifth time in December.
★ Pete Davidson is a wearer of many hats. Aside from being a comedian, a Scorpio and the co-owner of a Staten Island ferry, he’s known for being loved by many famous women, from Ariana Grande to his current GF, Kim Kardashian. And now, Davidson has shared his theory on why so many famous beauties are charmed by him. He says he shares similar qualities with the discount-DVD bin at 7-Eleven, where you might find a movie like “Tropic Thunder”. In Davidson’s opinion, that film is a classic that “doesn’t belong in the trash,” just like him. Quote: “I’m Tropic Thunder. I’m the diamond in the trash. It’s a steal.”
★ A 19-year-old who was offered $5,000 by Elon Musk to shut down a Twitter account tracking the billionaire’s jet says he refused the offer because it wasn’t enough to compensate for the “satisfaction” he gets from running the account. Musk tweeted last month that social-media accounts discussing his whereabouts were “becoming a security issue.” In the Twitter conversation viewed by a reporter, Jack Sweeney gave technical advice on how the billionaire could make his jet less trackable. After Musk’s offer of $5,000, Sweeney asked if there was “Any chance to up that to $50K?” The 19-year-old said that he had done “a lot of work…and 5k is not enough.” Musk said he would think about the counter-offer, but later said it “doesn’t feel right to pay to shut this down.”

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Lily James, Sebastian Stan, Quinta Brunson, Eric Bellinger
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Liam Neeson, Jenny Slate, Joshua Ray Walker
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Faith Hill, Clarissa Ward
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): David Letterman, Adam Duritz, Hayley Brownell
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Johnny Knoxville, Nick Offerman, Tolliver
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Teresa Giudice, Bob Harper
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Charlie Day, guest co-host Tara Setmayer
• “The Talk” (CBS): Quinta Brunson, Sheryl Lee Ralph
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Lisa Edelstein, Katie Chin
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Murray Bartlett
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Taylor Lautner, Porsha Williams
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Savannah Guthrie, Fabrizio “Moody Foody” Villalpando
• “The Real Dirty Dancing” (FOX): Series premiere. The celebrities learn iconic dance routines.
• “Terry Bradshaw: Going Deep” (HBO): Bradshaw takes the stage of Clay Cooper Theater in Branson MO for a some singing, colorful stories, and honest and emotional reflections on his life.


• Justin Timberlake — Janet Jackson says she and him are “good friends” despite criticism he’s faced over his role in their 2004 Super Bowl Halftime Show “Nipple-gate” scandal. In her new docuseries “Janet Jackson”, she downplays the fact that she seemed to suffer more fallout from the controversy than Timberlake, and makes it clear that she believes his actions were accidental.
• Shawn Mendes — has postponed the UK and European leg of his “Wonder” world tour by more than a year. He was supposed to hit the road there next month, but due to uncertainty caused by the pandemic, the “really difficult decision” has been made to delay the start of the tour until May 2023.
• NSYNC – Founding member Chris Kirkpatrick is a cast member for season 3 of “Celebrity Big Brother”, which begins this Thursday on CBS. The avid “Big Brother” watcher says he’s “least looking forward to” not seeing family or having connection to the outside world. How does he plan to deal with that? “Hopefully I’ll…just cry myself to sleep in the Diary Room.”
• The Beatles – are the subject of a new exhibit at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. “The Beatles: Get Back to Let It Be”, opening March 18, will allow fans to experience the group’s original instruments, clothing, and handwritten lyrics seen in Peter Jackson’s recently released docuseries “The Beatles: Get Back”. Many of the items were donated by band members and members’ estates.
• Neil Young – The fallout continues for Spotify following his decision to have his music removed from the streaming service. The hashtags #DeleteSpotify and #CancelSpotify have gained traction on Twitter, and investors are keeping an eye on the company, with its market value having dropped by $4 billion in the past week, at last check. Forbes says Spotify has lost nearly 25% of its value since Jan. 1.
• Asia – The 1980s supergroup is hitting the road for an extensive 40th-anniversary celebration. Featuring founding members Carl Palmer, and Geoff Downes, the group is currently planning a U.S. tour, expected to start in late summer.
• Sam Hunt – His biggest hit, ‘Body Like A Back Road’, almost wasn’t released. In a recent interview, he said: “I hadn’t really worked on any new music, but we needed to put out new music if we were going to tour, and [‘Body Like a Back Road’] was…one of the only songs I had written.” The 2017 release spent a record 24 weeks at #1 on the Billboard Hot Country Songs chart, and hit #6 on the all-genre Hot 100.
• Rosanne Cash and JJ Grey & Mofro – will co-headline the Bristol Rhythm & Roots Reunion, which is returning to northeastern Tennessee. Set for Sept. 9-11, the annual music festival presented by the Birthplace of Country Music Museum will also include performances by bluegrass favorites Jerry Douglas Band and Ralph Stanley II & the Clinch Mountain Boys, Briston Maroney, Katie Pruitt, and many others.


This is the best thing you’re going to hear all day. Scientists say that some animals laugh. And we’re not just talking about monkeys and hyenas. A team from UCLA conducted a study on the phenomenon of laughter across the animal kingdom, and determined that at least 65 species of animals exhibit a behavior known as “vocal play” – which might be thought of as laughter. They found such vocal play behavior documented in a variety of primates, domestic cows and dogs, foxes, seals, and mongooses, as well as 3 bird species, including parakeets and Australian magpies. The researchers say this shows how a behavior once thought to be particular to humans “turns out to be closely tied to behavior shared with species separated from us by 10 of millions of years”.
(No kidding. I swear my cat hides the fact that she’s laughing at me ALL DAY LONG!)
(Why wouldn’t they laugh? Animal families have fathers that do stupid things, too!)

Is nothing sacred? Now, global warming is coming after our coffee. According to a study published last week in the scientific journal Plos One, climate change will make it much harder to grow Arabica coffee in the coming years. According to projections from several global climate models, coffee plants will be “drastically” less suitable for cultivation in current coffee-producing regions by 2050. Arabica coffee, which is used by Starbucks and other major coffee sellers, is already a finicky crop that requires specific conditions to flourish. The authors concluded that “climate change adaptation will be necessary in most major producing regions” not just for coffee, but for cashews and avocados as well. This could include breeding new varieties, and in the case of coffee, it might also mean switching to Robusta trees, which are hardier but produce beans considered to be of lower quality than Arabica beans.
(Oh, like decaf!)
(Trees? I thought coffee came from the ground(s)!)
(I don’t imagine any of this will affect the price, at all, right?)

It’s a big problem…especially if you have kids – or adults who are as petty as I am – and you accidentally give one of them a smaller treat than another. Now, a team of Japanese high-schoolers has won an innovation competition after coming up with a high-tech device that divides cake and pizza into equal portions every single time. The students, from Kundong High School in Japan’s Oita Prefecture, came up with a tool that calculates the angle at which the tasty treat needs to be cut, depending on the number of slices needed. Aptly named “Get Along Well With Everyone,” the ingenious device consists of a turntable on which the cake or pizza is set by the user, and a laser system that projects the exact angle at which every slice should be cut. All the user has to do is adjust an arrow-shaped slider to the desired number of slices, and the laser beam guides the knife to cut perfectly equal portions.
(Then it’s up to you to grab 2 slices before anyone notices!)
(Some kids will still complain that another got more icing, however…)

Here we are – Feb. 1st. And here comes the first half of a list of 10 ways to make a woman happy…and with less than 2 weeks to go, if you follow this advice, THIS will be the year you don’t screw up Valentine’s Day:
1. Tell her you love her (of course): Tell her often. She won’t get sick of hearing it. Also, tell her how lucky you feel to have her in your life. (For bonus points, DON’T tell her how lucky SHE is to have YOU in her life…)
2. Leave cute notes:  It may seem very high school, but girls love it when they find a sweet note. You can leave a sticky note on her phone or at the desk, saying something like: “you make me happy”. Her heart will melt and she’ll wear a smile all day long.
3. Cute texts:  Send her sweet one-liners or tell her about how much you are looking forward to seeing her. You can send cute, romantic messages or sexy texts. (So why did I bother writing a sticky note?)
4. Flowers (of course):  Not just for special occasions – a woman loves to get a bouquet anytime.
5. Pamper her:  Pick up her favorite food, give her a massage, buy her a spa session or jewellery once in a while. (At this point, I’d wait until the 14th, though. You don’t want to peak early!)
[***The second half will appear here tomorrow***]

Move over, “Squid Game” – there’s a new South Korean thriller in town, and it’s already earned a perfect 100% score on Rotten Tomatoes. The latest Netflix offering is “All of Us Are Dead”, a zombie horror which has been praised by audiences and critics alike after dropping on Friday. The thriller takes place in a high school that becomes overrun with zombies, with students forced to decide whether to hide, flee or fight. According to ComicBook.com, the show has already reached third spot on the streaming platform in the US.


• “Car Insurance Day”, commemorating the first auto insurance policy, issued to one Truman Martin of Buffalo NY on this date in 1898. It cost $11.50 (96 cents if he paid monthly)
• “Change Your Password Day”, an annual reminder that ‘123456′ is not keeping your data all that safe.
• “Spunky Old Broads Day”, dedicated to the saying ‘old girls just wanna have fun’. Spunky old broads are positive, fun, butt-kicking mature women over the age of 50 who refuse to sit back quietly and get old. (Who’s the spunkiest famous old broad, now that Betty White has left us?)
• “G.I. Joe Day”, the name was inspired by the 1945 Robert Mitchum movie “The Story of GI Joe”. BS FUN FACT: Hasbro invented the term ‘action figure’ because it believed boys wouldn’t play with a ‘doll’.
• “Baked Alaska Day”, made with hard ice cream on a base of sponge cake and covered in a shell of toasted meringue. (I thought ‘Baked Alaska’ was the name of a reality show!)
• “Robinson Crusoe Day”, commemorating the anniversary of the rescue of Alexander Selkirk on this date in 1709. He was a Scottish sailor who was banished to an uninhabited island in 1704 after a quarrel with his captain. His adventures there are said to have formed the basis for Daniel Defoe’s book “Robinson Crusoe”.

[Wed] Groundhog Day
[Wed] Crêpe Day
[Thurs] The Day the Music Died
[Thurs] Carrot Cake Day
[Thurs] Half way point of Winter (Northern Hemisphere)

1950 [72] Mike Campbell, Panama City FL, rock guitarist-singer (Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers – ‘Refugee’, The Dirty Knobs-‘Wreckless Abandon’, touring guitarist for Fleetwood Mac)

1968 [54] Pauly Shore, Los Angeles CA, movie actor (“Encino Man”, “Son in Law”, “Bio-Dome”)

1968 [54] Lisa Marie Presley, Memphis TN, pop singer (‘Lights Out’), daughter of the “King of Rock and Roll”, Elvis Presley/married to the “King of Pop”, Michael Jackson 1994-96)

1979 [43] Jason Isbell, Green Hill AL, country-Americana singer-guitarist (Drive-By Truckers, Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit-‘Alabama Pines’)/married to Amanda Shires since 2013

1971 [51] Michael C Hall, Raleigh NC, TV actor (“Dexter” 2006-13, “Dexter: New Blood” 2021-22, “Six Feet Under” 2001-05)/Broadway actor (“Lazarus” 2015-17)

1975 [47] Big Boi [Antwan Patton], Savannah GA, hip-hop artist (f/Kelly Rowland-‘Mama Told Me’, OutKast-‘Hey Ya!’)

1987 [35] Ronda Rousey, Riverside CA, WWE wrestler (RAW Women’s Champion 2018-19)/former MMA fighter (won 12 consecutive MMA fights, 6 in the UFC, before suffering her first loss)/movie actress (“The Expendables 3”, “Furious 7”)

1994 [28] Harry Styles, Redditch England, boy-band singer (‘Watermelon Sugar’, One Direction-‘Story of My Life’, ‘What Makes You Beautiful’)/movie actor (“Dunkirk”) COMING UP…”Don’t Worry Darling”, 2022

1994 [28] Julia Garner, The Bronx NY, TV actress (“Ozark” since 2017) COMING UP…“Inventing Anna”, 2021

1982 [40] “Late Night With David Letterman” debuts on NBC, with Bill Murray as the first guest

2004 [18] In the infamous “Super Bowl Wardrobe Malfunction”, Justin Timberlake rips Janet Jackson’s top during the halftime show, exposing her breast (leading to a year of excruciating media censorship)

2008 [14] NASA announces that ‘Across the Universe’ by The Beatles will become the first song ever beamed directly into space via the “Deep Space Network”

2017 [05] In an Instagram post that is liked over 8 million times in 24 hours, Beyoncé reveals she is pregnant with twins

2009 [13] Johanna Siguroardottir is chosen the first female Prime Minister of Iceland, becoming the world’s first openly gay head of a country

2006 [16] 100-lb competitive eater Sonya Thomas chows down on 26 sandwiches in 10 minutes to win the “World Grilled Cheese Eating Championship”

2013 [09] “The Shard”, the tallest building in the UK at 309.6 metres (1,016 feet), officially opens in London

2015 [07] New England Patriots win Super Bowl 49, beating Seattle 28-24; Patriots QB Tom Brady is named MVP and becomes 1 of only 3 quarterbacks to win 4 Super Bowls (he has won 3 more since)


✓ The average person walks the equivalent of twice around the world in a lifetime.
✓ In Japan, it is common to put ketchup on rice.
✓ There are no ants in Iceland, Antarctica, and Greenland.
✓ The average home creates more pollution than does the average car.
✓ Contrary to popular belief, chocolate does not cause acne.
✓ Most burglaries occur during the daytime.

• “Who needs flowers when we have love?”
• “Here … I made this during halftime.”
• “Thinking of you sweetheart, which, technically, the court order can’t prevent.”
• “Just wanted to say ‘I love you’ when I wasn’t falling down drunk.”
• “If only we weren’t so closely related!”
• “Do you want to tell your wife I’m pregnant, or shall I?”
• “Hey Valentine, I’ll give you money to have sex with me.”
-First published in BS 2001

➠ The website “Outlook” has published a list of Taylor Swift’s best songs about former boyfriends. (So, be sure to check it out the next time you have 16 hours to kill…)
➠ Production is finished on a third “Legally Blonde” movie, and it’s set to be released in May. (It was either that, or just ask people to hand over $16.50 for nothing…)
➠ A report claims that people with blue eyes are more likely to be alcoholics. (Although it’s hard to tell the real color of their eyes, because they’re always bloodshot!)
➠ In a survey, sex topped the list of what makes people the happiest. (Okay, I can understand the findings, but why didn’t they also ask the married folks?)
➠ Thought of the Day: Difficult roads always lead to beautiful destinations. (Obviously written by someone who’s NEVER been through Wyoming…)

I’m gonna say the dog is having more fun than the person:  https://tinyurl.com/323vytkr

I don’t normally brag about my expensive trips, but I just got home from the vet…


What is something you’d never buy . . . even if you became obscenely wealthy?

Question:  The average parent does THIS 4 times a week. The average single person? Just once. What is it?
Answer: Laundry

Hope is like a road in the country; there once was no road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence.


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