Friday, February 15, 2019 – Edition: #6395
Ahhh, It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
“The Bull Sheet” will not be publishing on Monday, February 18 to observe the Canadian ‘Family Day’ holiday. All subscribers will receive credit for the missed service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, February 19.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Bill Cosby is not remorseful while serving out his prison sentence, is still adamant he did nothing wrong, and compares himself to Martin Luther King, Jr. A statement from Cosby obtained through his attorney says that he believes that he is being held as a “Political Prisoner.” Cosby says he still believes his trial and incarceration were politically motivated, and says “My political beliefs, my actions of trying to humanize all races, genders and religions landed me in this place surrounded by barb wire fencing, a room made of steel and iron.”
-MSN
★ Sandra Oh has sworn off ever fronting the Golden Globes again after making history as the ceremony’s first Asian host. The former Grey’s Anatomy star teamed up with Andy Samberg to present the big show last month, and says that now that she has faced her fears, she has no desire to repeat the feat. It wasn’t a bad thing, though. Oh says that the whole evening left a “profound” mark on her and her parents, who were in the audience at the Globes.
-MSN
★ “Last Call with Carson Daly” is coming to an end after 17 years. Daly will remain a host and producer on NBC’s “The Voice” and continue hosting a segment on “Today”. Last Call, which debuted in 2002, featured interviews and performances by artists including Maroon 5, Ed Sheeran and Kendrick Lamar. NBC says the show will have aired 2,000 episodes when it ends. A date was not announced.
-Canoe
★ A man named Jesse Nadler says he’s Dina Lohan’s mystery man whom she talked about on “Celebrity Big Brother.” After Lohan revealed on the reality TV show that she’s been dating a man for five years whom she’s never met, Nadler said he’s the guy. He works in commercial real estate and says he’s coming forward with his identity because he doesn’t want to be known as a “catfish” after her housemates expressed suspicions about his existence.
-PageSix
★ The planned “Breaking Bad” movie is coming to Netflix, then AMC. Sources confirm that the feature length follow-up to the critically acclaimed series will stream on Netflix prior to airing on the cable network. The original series premiered on AMC in 2008 before becoming available later on the streaming service. Details of the film’s plot are being kept under tight wraps, but it has been reported that it will star Aaron Paul and follow his character–Jesse Pinkman–in the aftermath of the events of the original series finale. In November, star Bryan Cranston confirmed the movie is happening but said that he had not seen a script.
-Variety
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Tracy Morgan, Dave Salmoni (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Terri, Bindi & Robert Irwin, repeat segments with Kim Kardashian West, Christina Tosi
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jeff Goldblum
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Rosie O’Donnell, Nicolle Wallace, DaniLeigh, Brendan Buckley (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Ken Jeong, Brian Tyree Henry, H.E.R. (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Freddie Highmore
• “The Talk” (CBS): Alison Sweeney, Allison Miller
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Morris Chestnut, Trisha Yearwood, Lance Ulanoff
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Seth Rogen, Charlize Theron, Ellen Page
• “Proven Innocent” (FOX): TV’s latest legal procedural is set at a law firm that specializes in representing wrongfully convicted clients.
SATURDAY-
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): The Top 12 finalists, including two returning Wild Card acts.
• “Hopelessly Devoted to You” (LIFETIME): Highlighting the life and work of Olivia Newton-John.
• “Ransom” (CBS): Season 3 premiere. Eric and the Crisis Resolution team are brought in to negotiate a blood money payoff when a man is murdered and his wife is threatened to be next.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Don Cheadle hosts, with musical guest Gary Clark Jr.
SUNDAY-
• “2019 American Rescue Dog Show” (HALLMARK): Featuring shelter dogs of various breeds from across the country vying for top dog in some categories.
• “Elvis All-Star Tribute Special” (NBC): Music superstars celebrate the 50th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s iconic television special, with performances from Ed Sheeran, Kelsea Ballerini, Dierks Bentley, Alessia Cara, Post Malone, Shawn Mendes, and more.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• BTS – It might be the most unlikely collaboration of the year. Dolly Parton says that she wants to work with the K-Pop giants. Teasing fans on Twitter, Dolly shared a video that saw the group enjoying her ‘Jolene’ duet with Miley Cyrus at the Grammys.
• Jennifer Lopez – is hitting the road for her first tour in six years. The “It’s My Party: The Live Celebration” tour will visit 24 North American cities, kicking off in Phoenix on June 7 and ending in Miami, two days after her 50th birthday on July 24. It will also feature the “World of Dance Experience,” featuring surprise guest dance performances from her NBC show “World of Dance”.
• Lady Gaga — put Carly Rae Jepsen on notice back when the singer broke Gaga’s chart record in 2012. Now, nearly seven years later, Gaga has lived up to her friendly promise and dethroned Jepsen with ‘Shallow’ remaining at number one for the 101st day. Their friendly rivalry started when Jepsen’s ‘Call Me Maybe’ broke Gaga’s ‘Born This Way’ chart record.
• Ryan Adams — In a New York Times report, his ex-wife Mandy Moore and other other women detail their experiences with him, ranging from emotional abuse to sexual misconduct. On Twitter, Adams wrote: “I am not a perfect man and I have made many mistakes. To anyone I have ever hurt, however unintentionally, I apologize deeply and unreservedly.”
• Def Leppard — have announced plans to return to Las Vegas for a residency at the Zappos Theater at Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino beginning Aug. 14. They’ll play 12 dates during “Def Leppard Hits Vegas: The Sin City Residency”.
• Led Zeppelin — have announced new officially licensed shoes as part of a collaboration with the Vans clothing company. An official on-sale date hasn’t been revealed yet. A highly anticipated David Bowie collaboration is also expected later this year.
• Miranda Lambert — reportedly tossed her salad onto a woman during a heated argument at a Nashville restaurant. She was dining with her mother and a friend when an older man started the fight, according to reports.
• Luke Bryan – will be among the headliners for “Hometown Rising”, the first-ever country music and bourbon Festival, Sept. 14-15. Tim McGraw, Keith Urban and Little Big Town are also among the 30 acts on the bill at Highland Festival Grounds at KY Expo Center in Louisville.
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Isn’t It Romantic” (PG-13, Comedy/Romance): A young woman disenchanted with love mysteriously finds herself trapped inside a romantic comedy. (Rebel Wilson, Liam Hemsworth, Adam Devine)
• “Fighting with My Family” (PG-13, Comedy): A former wrestler and his family make a living performing at small venues around the country while his kids dream of joining World Wrestling Entertainment. (Florence Pugh, Lena Headey)
• “Alita: Battle Angel” (PG-13, Action/Adventure): A deactivated female cyborg is revived, but cannot remember anything of her past life and goes on a quest to find out who she is. (Rosa Salazar, Christoph Waltz, Jennifer Connelly)
• ” Happy Death Day 2U” (PG-13, Horror): Tree Gelbman discovers that dying over and over was surprisingly easier than the dangers that lie ahead. (Jessica Rothe, Israel Broussard)
• “Donnybrook” (R-Rated, Drama): Two men prepare to compete in a legendary bare-knuckle fight where the winner gets a $100,000 prize. (Margaret Qualley, Jamie Bell)
SLEEP QUALITY IS JOB #1:
Now that all the lovely-dovey, cuddly-wuddly Valentine’s Day stuff is over with, here’s something you might be interested in…Car company Ford says that they have incorporated their “lane-monitoring” vehicle systems into a bed which will keep your partner from hogging the mattress. Or keep YOU from hogging the mattress. When used in cars, Ford’s Lane-Keeping Aid monitors road markings and helps the driver to safely guide the vehicle back into the correct lane by ‘nudging’ the steering wheel in the correct direction. Likewise, the Lane-Keeping Bed uses sensors — pressure sensors, in this case — to identify when someone has moved into their partner’s side of the bed and “gently returns them to where they should be with the help of an integrated conveyor belt.” It is part of Ford’s “Interventions” initiative, which aims to apply automotive know-how to solve everyday problems. They have also come up with a noise-cancelling dog kennel.
(This has the potential to save a lot of relationships…and prevent a lot of children!)
(I’m not sure how this thing could work without a well-placed elbow…)
(I’m pretty sure the force of my wife’s cold feet will not be so easily conquered!)
-CTV
TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
➢ When Gerald Cotten was the founder and CEO of QuadrigaCX, a Canadian cryptocurrency exchange platform, died unexpectedly in December, a fortune in online money may have died with him. He was the only person with access to the accounts at his company, and he took the password to the grave with him. The laptop computer from which he carried out the company’s business is encrypted. How much are we talking about? Only about $190 million in bitcoin and other online currency. Although it would seem that his negligence will cost clients of his company a fortune, he did have the foresight to leave $100,000 for his two pet two pet chihuahuas, as specified in his will.
➢ Beverly Havard of Texas says that when she misplaced her spare car key, she started noticing changes with her van. Then she noticed the vehicle’s mileage was also changing. Her suspicions were finally confirmed when police captured Michael Lopez, who they say had been stealing Havard’s vehicle at night and returning it before morning. When they tried to pull him over, he sped off and crashed into a pole. Where was he going in the van at night? Police say he was using it as a getaway car after breaking into other vehicles.
(And now neither of them have a ride!)
-ABC
➢ When two Simcoe, ON teenagers tried to recreate an internet prank, things didn’t work out quite the way they imagined. Police say the 13 and 16-year-old went to a store and built a fort out of toilet paper without anyone noticing. The two later hid in the fort…and fell asleep after the store closed. They were awakened the next morning by the sounds of employees and locked themselves inside a washroom. Police delivered the “remorseful” teens home to their parents.
(They made a teepee out of T.P.?)
-CP
DID YOU KNOW?
Researchers have concluded that there are 4 types of drunks: “The Hemingway”, whose personality stays the same – “The Mary Poppins”, who becomes even sweeter and more outgoing – “The Nutty Professor” who becomes an uninhibited attention-seeker – And “Mr. Hyde”, who turns hostile.
BS CHRONOMETER 02.15.19
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1951 [68] Jane Seymour, Hayes England, TV actress (“Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman” 1993-1998, “Smallville” 2004-2005) COMING UP…”Friendsgiving”, 2019
1954 [65] Matt Groening, Portland OR, animator/TV show creator (“The Simpsons”, “Futurama”)
1973 [46] Alex Borstein, Highland Park IL, TV actress (voice of Lois Griffin on “Family Guy” since 1998, “MADtv” 1997-2009)
1974 [45] Omarosa Manigault, Youngstown OH, reality star (“The Apprentice”, “Celebrity Big Brother”/Director of Communications for the Office of Public Liaison in the White House 2017-2018)
1976 [43] Brandon Boyd, Van Nuys CA, rock singer (Incubus-‘Drive’, ‘Megalomaniac’)
1976 [43] Ronnie Vannucci Jr, Las Vegas NV, rock drummer (The Killers-‘When You Were Young’, ‘Mr. Brightside’)
SATURDAY-
TV actor Ice T (“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”) is 61; Tennis player John McEnroe is 60; Rock guitarist Andy Taylor (Duran Duran) is 58; Movie actor Mahershala Ali (“Hidden Figures”) is 45; Movie actress Elizabeth Olsen (“Captain America: Civil War”) is 30; Singer The Weeknd (‘Can’t Feel My Face’) is 29
SUNDAY-
Film director Michael Bay (“Transformers”) is 54; Singer/guitarist Billie Joe Armstrong (Green Day) is 47; Movie actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt (“Looper”) is 38; TV personality/socialite Paris Hilton is 38; Pop singer Ed Sheeran (‘Shape of You’) is 28
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Singles Awareness Day”, a day to provide single people with an alternative to Valentine’s Day festivities. Some consider Singles Awareness Day (sometimes shortened to S.A.D.) as the anti-Valentine’s Day for those who are unattached, and without a significant other. (But at least you can celebrate with half-price chocolate!).
• “Gumdrop Day”, honoring the popular, gelatin-based candy which has been a favorite for decades. Nowadays, ‘Gummi’ candies are the most popular incarnation of the gumdrop.
• “National Flag of Canada Day”, the 24th annual official celebration of Canada’s maple leaf flag. It was first unveiled on Ottawa’s Parliament Hill in 1965, replacing the ‘Red Ensign’.
• “Hippo Day”, celebrating the third largest mammal on Earth. Why not take some time to waddle in a mud bath, get angry with some tourists, and yawn a lot while opening your mouth really-really wide?
• “I Want Butterscotch Day”, the main ingredients are normally butter and brown sugar, but of course there are others. So, what does that mean? It’s time to load up on the candies, the fudge and/or baked goods. It’s going to be a sweet day!
• “Susan B. Anthony Day”, honoring the 1820 birth of one of the first women’s rights advocates, and the face on the first US dollar-coin that bombed.
SATURDAY-
• “Almond Day”, saluting what’s believed to be one of the earliest cultivated foods. 80% of the world’s almonds are now grown in California.
• “Day of the Shining Star”, a public holiday in North Korea when the birthday of late leader Kim Jong-il (1941-2011) is celebrated.
• “Do a Grouch a Favor Day”, a day to perform an unexpected good deed to cheer up someone who’s sulky. NET: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2u2KSBq7y-o
• “World Whale Day”, an event started in Maui, Hawaii, in 1980, to raise awareness and to protect these majestic creatures and their habitat.
SUNDAY-
• “PTA Founders’ Day”, commemorating the parent-teacher association’s founding in 1897. It was originally known as the ‘National Congress of Mothers’.
• “Random Acts of Kindness Day”, sponsored by a non-profit organization that believes in making the world a nicer place.
NET: https://www.randomactsofkindness.org
• “World Human Spirit Day”, encouraging 2 minutes of silent meditation throughout the world – “and beyond” – to focus on the true spirit that flows through everything. Wow, groovy.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2004 [16] “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”, starring Ty Pennington, debuts on ABC-TV
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2016 [03] In her Grammy acceptance speech for “Album of the Year”, Taylor Swift warns about “people along the way who will try to undercut your success or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame” (apparently a shout-out to Kanye)
2016 [03] Prince protégée Vanity dies (2 months before Prince himself) at age 57 after years of health problems
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2001 [18] 1st draft of the complete human genome is published in the science journal “Nature”
2010 [09] Men’s freestyle skiing moguls competitor Alexandre Bilodeau wins Canada’s first ever gold medal on home soil at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2003 [16] Largest peace demonstration in history as up to 30 million people in over 600 cities worldwide protest against the Iraq war
BULL’S BITS
BS WACK FACTS:
✓ The Curiosity Mars Rover sings “Happy Birthday” to itself every year on August 5th, which is when it landed on Mars.
✓ The skin is the heaviest organ. The average adult skin weighs about 20 pounds.
✓ A survey found that 1 in 3 children can use a tablet before they can speak.
✓ Sweden has a ski-through McDonald’s.
✓ Amazon’s largest warehouse is the size of 17 football fields.
✓ Research has shown that dogs actually like the silly, high-pitched voice their owners use to talk to them.
-WhattheFFacts
BS TRUTHFUL PRODUCT SLOGANS:
• Internet Explorer: The best way to download Google Chrome since 1995.
• BMW: You might as well buy one — you already drive like a jerk.
• Disney: Slowly taking over the world.
• Lego: Ouch!
• Nike: Do it, don’t do it, we don’t care. It’s not like we’re watching.
• Twitter: Where the antisocial come to socialize.
• Facebook: We just sold your identity – but look: A cat video!
• Crocs: It’s okay to give up.
• Dyson: We suck.
• Hand Sanitizer: Now, let’s find that paper cut…
• Wine – because you’re a woman…with kids.
-Twitter
Best of BS . . .
BS SIGNS YOU WENT ON A BAD VALENTINE’S DAY DATE:
✗ He took you to some joint called ‘Outbreak Steakhouse’.
✗ She told your cabbie she isn’t wearing any underwear. Then the maître d’. Then the waiter.
✗ He hired 3 naked kids with little bows & arrows to ‘set the mood’.
✗ Her eyes said “Yes” … but her probation officer said “No”.
✗ The fur coat he gave you was made entirely out of his own back hair.
✗ You went for a moonlit walk on the beach, and he brought a metal detector.
✗ During dinner, he kept using his toupée to wipe clam sauce off his chin.
✗ Her ponderous 3 words-per-minute sexting meant you spent most of the night staring at your screen.
✗ She STILL isn’t ready.
-First published in ‘BS’ in 2013
RANDOM JOKE:
Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What one thing would you still buy if it cost twice as much as it does today?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: More than 30% of men might be embarrassed to admit that they own THESE. What?
Answer: Superhero Underwear
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You can learn a lot from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them.
