Friday, January 20, 2006        Edition: #3201
Sheet For Brains!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY the tricked-out silver 1964 Aston Martin DB5 spy car from the ‘James Bond’ movies “Goldfinger”, “Thunderball” & “GoldenEye” goes up for auction in Phoenix AZ and is expected to fetch circa $2.5 million (the ejector seat has been eliminated, but the twin machine gun headlights, wheel-mounted tire slashers, oil slick ejector & revolving license plates are in tact) . . . TOMORROW “Desperate Housewives” star James Denton hosts the revamped “Miss America”  pageant on CMT, which has been moved to Las Vegas NV after 84 years of being staged in Atlantic City NJ (where it was read its last rites) . . . SUNDAY at the “Producers Guild of America (PGA) Awards” in Los Angeles, “Brokeback Mountain”, “Crash”, “Capote”, “Good Night & Good Luck” and “Walk the Line” are nominated for ‘Best Picture‘; and honorary awards will be handed out to producer/director/actor Clint Eastwood, horror-film maker Roger Corman, and TV producer/writer Norman Lear . . . SUNDAY the 9th annual “Grand Ole Opry Caribbean Cruise” sets sail from Tampa FL, with country vets Roy Clark, Charley Pride & Pam Tillis on board to entertain (with that line-up, there’s sure to be lots of shuffleboard!) . . . The WB is developing a new reality show called “Survival of the Richest” in which 7 super-wealthy young people are paired up with 7 average folks who are in debt, to live and work together for several weeks (there’s gonna be injuries) . . . Talpa TV network in the Netherlands has just cancelled “Op z’n Hollands” (“The Dutch Way”) after just 2 episodes, deciding the reality show about the daily life of skin-flick star Kim Holland is unsuitable for a ‘family channel’ (like they weren’t sure ahead of time?) . . . FOX-TV has cancelled “Malcolm in the Middle” and “That ’70s Show”, and let it be known that “Arrested Development” has likely heard its death rattle also . . . And remember twins Terrell & Derrell Brittenum (they sang “My Girl” & “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg”) on TUESDAY’s “American Idol” auditions from Chicago? They’ve been busted in Rockdale County, Georgia and charged with forgery, theft by deception, and financial identity fraud in connection with the purchase of vehicles (if Terrell watched the show, it was from jail  – where he’s been since JANUARY 10th).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Beatles – John Lennon’s original draft of lyrics for the classic tune “A Day in the Life “ is going up for sale in a sealed-bid auction in NYC that ends MARCH 7th. It’s expected to fetch about $2 million.
• Kelly Clarkson – She’s caved in to pressure, including a scolding from Simon Cowell, and now agreed to let “American Idol” contestants perform her hits on the show.
• Lisa Loeb – TODAY she’s on ABC-TV’s “The View”. It seems like eons since her 1994 #1 hit “Stay (I Missed You)” … wonder what she’s been up to?
• Melissa O’Neil – A concert scheduled for Sault Sate Marie ON with the latest “Canadian Idol” winner and the runner-up, Rex Goudie, has been cancelled after less than 100 tickets sold.
• The Strokes – TOMORROW they’re the musical guest on NBC-TV’s “Saturday Night Live”.
• Tim McGraw – TONIGHT the co-owner of the Nashville Kats arena football franchise launches his team’s 2006 season with a concert at Nashville’s Gaylord Entertainment Center.
• Toby Keith – TONIGHT he kicks off his “Big Throwdown II” tour in Portland OR. Joe Nichols opens.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Karla” ( 18A Drama ): Laura Prepon (“That ’70s Show”) & Misha Collins star in the real life story of Ontario schoolgirl killers Karla Homolka & Paul Bernardo, opening in just 100 theaters across Canada. Shot entirely in LA, but not scheduled for release in the USA.
NET: http://karlathemovie.net/
• “Match Point” ( R-Rated Drama Opens Wide ): Woody Allen’s story of an out-of-work tennis pro (Jonathan Rhys-Meyers) who weds a wealthy upper-class woman (Emily Mortimer) but soon finds he’s impossibly drawn to his brother-in-law’s ex-fiancée (Scarlett Johansson). Johansson got the role after Kate Winslet dropped out. Shot entirely in England. Nominated for 4 “Golden Globe Awards”.
NET: http://www.matchpoint.dreamworks.com/main.html
• “The New World” ( PG-13 Historical Drama Opens Wide ): A chronicle of the adventurous life of Captain John Smith (Colin Farrell), who helped settle the colony of Jamestown VA in 1607, and his relationship with Pocahontas (newcomer Q’Orianka Kilcher), the young Algonquian native who saved him from certain death. Since the initial limited DECEMBER 25th release, some 15 minutes have been trimmed from the film.
NET: http://www.thenewworldmovie.com/
• “Transamerica” ( R-Rated Drama ): Felicity Huffman (“Desperate Housewives”) won a “Golden Globe Award” for her portrayal of a pre-operative transsexual who is stunned to learn that he/she fathered a son while in college. Just days before her long-awaited operation, he/she travels to NYC to bail the troubled kid out of jail and drive him to California.
NET: http://www.transamerica-movie.com/
• “Underworld: Evolution” ( R-Rated Action Fantasy ): In this sequel to 2003’s “Underworld”, Kate Beckinsale returns as the vampire heroine who seeks revenge on her own kind after she’s betrayed as the war between the ‘Death Dealers’ and the ‘Lycans’ nears a deciding battle. Scott Speedman co-stars. Shot entirely in Vancouver.
NET: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/underworldevolution/

NO WONDER IT TASTES LIKE MEDICINE:
‘Friendly bacteria’ found in yoghurt has been genetically modified by a team of US researchers to produce a drug that blocks HIV infection. Although the bacteria has only been tested in a lab dish, scientists are optimistic the technique could provide a cheaper and more effective way of delivering drugs to fight the spread of AIDS. (Safe sex may soon involve condoms and Yoplait.)
– “Nature”

DID YOU KNOW?
The name ‘Lego’ comes from the Danish words ‘leg godt’, meaning ‘play well’. It also means ‘I put together’ in Latin.

TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT:
Every FRIDAY night is ‘Boyz Nite’ from 9-until-late at Knit New York, a wool & craft store in Lower Manhattan. Yep, that’s when the real men get together to learn how to knit, purl & rib. The special night draws dozens of guys who gather to exchange knitting tips over beer and hot dogs. And some unusual items get made, too – one guy knit a bikini for his girlfriend. (Beer and sharp needles – not a safe combination!)
– ABC News
NET: http://www.knitnewyork.com/

WHAT’S THE WORST ‘OOO’?
Does your job stink? A new survey on ‘Offensive Office Odors’ finds that these are among the worst for generating complaints …
• ‘Body Odors’, including bad breath, perspiration, stinky feet, and flatulence.
• ‘Cigarette Smoke’ (on breath, clothing, etc)
• ‘Potent Perfumes’ (including colognes and after-shaves)
• ‘Stinky Food’ & ‘Lunch Leftovers’ (tuna, garlic, burnt popcorn, onion, etc)
And what makes you wanna ralph in your cubicle?
–  Careerbuilder.com

YOU ARE WHAT YOU LISTEN TO:
A new study co-authored by Samuel Gosling, a British psychologist at the University of Texas,  and Peter Jason Rentfrow, an American teaching at Cambridge University, finds that there are definite links between musical taste and personality. Their complete findings will be published in an upcoming issue of the journal “Psychological Science”, but they’ve already leaked one surprising result – fans of aggressive music, such as rap and heavy metal, are typically more shy than other music lovers. (Until they get hold of a handgun.)
– “Times of London”

HIGHEST-PAID UNDER-25 CELEBS:
Name/Age/Job/Last Year’s Earnings in $US …
10. Adriana Lima/24/Model/$4.5 million
9. Ashlee Simpson/21/Singer-Actor/$5.3 million
8. Paris Hilton/24/Personality/$6.5 million
7. Frankie Muniz/20/Actor/$8 million
6. Lindsay Lohan/19/Actor-Singer/$11 million
5. Serena Williams/24/Tennis Player/$12.7 million
4. Hilary Duff/18/Actor-Singer/$15 million
3. Maria Sharapova/18/Tennis Player/$18.2 million
2. Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen/19/Actresses/$21 million
1. LeBron James/21/NBA Player/$22.9 million
(Wondering about Jessica Simpson? She’s too old!)
– “Forbes” magazine

WHY WOMEN CHEAT:
Why would your wife look to have relations with someone else? According to a new study, you can blame it on – evolution! That’s the excuse … er, scientific finding, of researchers from UCLA and the University of New Mexico, who say women with a wandering eye are just trying to improve the species. It seems an ovulating woman is automatically attracted to a mate offering good genes, whether she likes it or not. (Guys who do are tempted, however, are just bastards.)
– “Health Day News”

THE BULL SHEET 01.20.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1952 [54] Paul Stanley (Eisen), Queens NY, classic rock guitarist/singer (KISS-“Rock & Roll All Night”, “Beth”) who’s released over 30 albums with KISS

1956 [50] Bill Maher, NYC, TV talk show host (“Real Time with Bill Maher”, “Politically Incorrect” 1994-2002)

1963 [43] James Denton, Nashville TN, TV actor (‘Mike Delfino’ on “Desperate Housewives”)

1965 [41] John Michael Montgomery, Lexington KY, country singer (“Sold”, “I Swear”)

1979 [27] Rob Bourdon, Calabasas CA, rock drummer (Linkin Park-“Numb”, “In the End”)

SATURDAY –
Golf legend Jack Nicklaus is 66; Operatic singer Placido Domingo (“The Three Tenors”) is 65; Oldies singer Billy Ocean (“Caribbean Queen”) is 56; TV actress Geena Davis (“Commander in Chief”) is 50; Has-been pop singer Emma Bunton (Spice Girls) is 30.

SUNDAY –
Classic rocker Steve Perry (Journey) is 57; Retired country musician Teddy Gentry (Alabama) is 54; Movie actress Diane Lane (“Under the Tuscan Sun”) is 41; Country singer Regina Nicks  (Regina Regina) is 41; TV actor Christopher Kennedy Masterson (“Malcolm in the Middle”) is 26; TV actress Beverley Mitchell (“Seventh Heaven”) is 25.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Human Relations Day” (certainly more fun than animal relations)
• “Philately Day”, aka “Stamp Collecting Day” (as a hobby, you just can’t lick it!)
• Zodiac sign of Aquarius begins (the ‘Water Carrier’)

SATURDAY –
• “Hugging Day”, a day to hug anyone who will accept a hug and to see how many you can hug before the day is over. (First, make sure you have a lawyer on retainer.)
• “St Agnes’ Day”, honoring the patron saint of virgins and Girl Guides.
• “Squirrel Appreciation Day” … so take a moment today and think about the squirrels. (Huh?)

SUNDAY –
• “Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day”, a day to concentrate on your feline and answer the questions you think it’s asking.
• “Celebration of Life Day”, a day to honor the gift of children and grandchildren.
• “St Vincent’s Day”, honoring the patron saint of wine growers.
• “Speak Up & Succeed Day”. (Followed by ‘Get Lost, You Loudmouth Troublemaker Day’.)
• “Ukrainian Day”, celebrating Ukraine’s formation in 1919.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1982 [24] “Late Night With David Lettermen” debuts on NBC-TV

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1884 [122] La Marcus Thompson patents USA’s 1st ‘Roller Coaster’ (450-foot-long ‘Switchback Railway’ at Coney Island NY)

1892 [114] 1st officially recognized ‘Basketball Game’ played, devised by Canadian James Naismith (YMCA, Springfield MA)

1982 [24] 1st ‘Camcorder’ developed (leading to stacks of recordings that you never watch stuffed into a closet)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Canadian General Election
[Mon] Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day
[Mon] Measure Your Feet Day
[Mon] Compliment Day
[Mon] Handwriting Day
[Tues] Women’s Healthy Weight Day
[Wed] 6th International Internet-Free Day
[Wed] Robbie Burns Day
This Week Is … Fire the Boss Week
This Month Is … Family Fit Lifestyle Month

BULL’S BITS

BS SIGNS YOU HAVE ‘ESTROGEN ISSUES’:
• Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
• You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelette.
• The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
• Your husband is suddenly agreeing with everything you say.
• You can’t believe they don’t make a tampon bigger than ‘Super-Plus’.
• You’re sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
• The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• 65% of the people who’ve held this job have been blondes. What is the job?
a. Exotic Dancer
b. Movie Actress
c. Miss America [CORRECT]
d. Hooker
– “In Style” magazine

BS PHONE STARTER:
Even though lots of us watched Charlize Theron’s Oscar-winning portrayal of a real-life Florida killer in 2003’s “Monster”, the Homolka-Bernardo movie “Karla” is meeting a lot of opposition in Canada. Why do you think that is … too close to home?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Studies show women are more likely than men to eat THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Food that’s been dropped on the floor.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Don’t waste your time on anyone who isn’t willing to waste their time on you.