Monday, January 9, 2006        Edition: #3192
The Sheet Hits the Fans!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY CBC News introduces a ‘new look and attitude’ in order to appear ‘hipper and cooler’ (step 1 would be avoiding the archaic terminology hipper and cooler) . . . TONIGHT Andrew Lloyd Webber’s award-winning musical “The Phantom of the Opera” will officially become the longest-running show in Broadway history with 7,486 performances over 17 years, thereby surpassing “Cats” (also a product of the really-rich Webber) . . . TONIGHT actress Julia Roberts makes a rare public appearance to present a special award to her “Ocean’s Eleven” co-star George Clooney at the Broadcast Film Critics Association “Critics’ Choice Awards” . . . TONIGHT “The Bachelor 9″ debuts on ABC-TV, featuring 33-year-old Nashville TN physician Travis Stork, who was reportedly recruited right off the street to star (what, no one showed up to audition?) . . . Also debuting TONIGHT, the new ABC-TV sitcom “Emily’s Reasons Why Not”, featuring former film star Heather Graham (slumming) . . . THIS WEEK CBS-TV is expected to announce the next cast of “Survivor” plus the cast of its first celebrity edition of “Big Brother” (‘celebrity’ meaning ‘has-beens’) . . . Professional wrestler Stacy Keibler is professional gamblers’ overwhelming favorite to win the new season of “Dancing With the Stars” with one online betting site posting 2-1 odds on her being crowned the ‘dancing queen’ (she’ll stomp the competition!) . . . Deadbeat Michael Jackson is being sued again, this time by the veterinarian of his exotic animals at Neverland Ranch who claims he’s owed circa $100,000 in unpaid bills (and how’s that hurricane relief record coming along, Mikey?) . . . “Match Point” actress Scarlett Johansson has just signed a deal to be the new spokesmodel for L’Oreal, soon appearing in their hair ads . . . Estranged couple Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey have put the 6,500 sq-ft Calabassas CA mansion made famous in their “Newlyweds” TV series up for sale – asking price $3.75 million . . . And buzz has it the Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes engagement has hit a few bumps after a reportedly tense holiday season at her family home and the wedding plans may have been put on hold (escape while you can, girl!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé – She intends to finish filming the movie “Dreamgirls” before heading back to the recording studio. That means she won’t begin working on a new album until MAY at least.
• Billy Currington – TONIGHT the country chart-topper is on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”
• David Gray – TONIGHT he guests on NBC-TV’s “Last Call With Carson Daly”.
• Jennifer Lopez – Hubby Marc Anthony is apparently the jealous type. He reportedly insisted the TV ad for her new fragrance ‘Live’ be edited, deleting a kissing scene with a hunky extra.
•  Pink – SATURDAY she & her motocross racer boyfriend Carey Hart wed at the Four Seasons resort in Costa Rica. More than 100 guests attended the ceremony.
• Rascal Flatts – FEBRUARY 2nd they’ll launch their “Me & My Gang” tour in Grand Rapids MI.
• Sam Roberts – He’s finally finished recording his new album and though details aren’t available yet, it will likely be in stores late this Winter or in early Spring.

BS AMAZING FACT:
More than 1.6 billion DVDs were shipped to North American stores in 2005, a 9% increase over 2004, according to the Digital Entertainment Group.

THE NAME GAME:
Name expert Bruce Lansky recommends that parents who want their daughters to succeed in the corporate world should avoid names that end in ‘y’. Why? Names like ‘Jenny’ and ‘Patsy’ sound cute, nice and sweet, but not smart, confident and professional. To give your daughter a shot at success, Lansky suggests unisex names that sound powerful and not cutesy. (Would Martha Stewart be a media mogul if her name was ‘Bunny’?)
– “Baby Names Around the World”

TOP 10 BABY NAMES:
According to the latest tabulation, here are the currently most-popular monikers …
GIRLS –
5. Sophia
4. Kaitlyn
3. Madison
2. Emily
1. Emma
BOYS –
5. Matthew
4. Nicholas
3. Ethan
2. Jacob
1. Aidan
(For the first time in a decade, Michael and Sarah are not in the top 10.)
– BabyCenter.com

CITY LIFE SUCKS:
A new study has found that living in the country is much better than urban dwelling for a person’s overall health. Until recently, it was believed that the isolation of rural living, lack of social networks and difficulties accessing amenities had a negative impact on the well-being of country folk, but the new study suggests that rural rubes enjoy both better physical and mental health than city-dwellers. (But a helluva time getting pizza delivered.)
– “ British Journal of Psychiatry”

HE SAID IT:
“It was the most creative thing I’ve done in a decade. It massaged my soul and my mind. I sunk into it and found a place I’d never been before, and it was really rewarding. It was like jumping out of an airplane for the first time.”
– Country star Toby Keith telling “Billboard” magazine about shooting his first movie, tentatively titled “Angel From Montgomery”.

SPOON THEORY:
Australian scientists at the Macfarlane Burnet Institute for Medical Research & Public Health in Melbourne have done the world a great service by tracking the teaspoons in their workplace to discover that most spoons in an office environment rapidly disappear. The scientists tracked 70 teaspoons and found that 80% of them vanished within 5 months, with spoons in communal areas disappearing about twice as quickly as those in private spaces. Their oh-so-useful conclusion: An estimated 250 spoons need to be purchased annually to maintain a workable population of 70 teaspoons. (Whoa, some people have waaaay too much time on their hands!)
– Reuters

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
• 99% of those accused of a crime in the Japanese legal system are convicted.
• 85% of ‘streakers’ wear shoes.  
• 45% of women think it would be ‘better for society’ if all wives stayed home and their husbands worked.
• 29% of women would refuse to kiss a man who is flat broke.
• 25% of us hide our valuables before hosting a party.
• 17% of us cannot wink.

I WANNA GIRL JUST LIKE THE GIRL …
Researchers at Scotland’s St Andrews University say that women are most attracted to men who remind them of their fathers and men to women who resemble their mothers. In fact, we are most likely to marry someone who looks like our opposite sex parent, particularly when it comes to hair and eye color. The researchers say many animals, such as birds and monkeys, also tend to choose partners which resemble their parents. (That’s why [co-host’s] new wife has blue hair and a walker.)
– “Evolution & Human Behavior”

THE BULL SHEET 01.09.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1935 [71] Dick Enberg, Mt Clemens MI, CBS-TV sportscaster famous for exclaiming “Oh my!”/Sports Emmy ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’ (2001)

1944 [62] Jimmy Page, Heston UK, classic rock musician (Led Zeppelin-“Stairway to Heaven”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1992-Yardbirds, 1995-Led Zeppelin)

1967 [39] Dave Matthews, Johannesburg, South Africa, pop/rock singer (Dave Matthews Band-“So Much To Say”)

1967 [39] Steve Harwell, Santa Clara CA, pop singer (Smash Mouth-“Walkin’ On the Sun”)

1978 [28] AJ (Alexander James) McLean, West Palm Beach FL, pop singer (Backstreet Boys-“Shape of My Heart”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Canadian Figure Skating Championships” spin at the Ottawa Civic Centre through SUNDAY.
NET: http://www.skatecanada.ca/en/events_results/events/cdns06/index.html

• “Clean-Off-Your-Desk Day”. C’mon, once-a-year wouldn’t hurt, would it? Need a shovel?

• “Play God Day”. So what would you do if you were the Big Guy (Girl?) for a day?

• “Static Electricity Day”. You can count on this always being a bad hair day!

• “Step-Father’s Day”, a day to honor ‘all step-fathers everywhere who come into our lives and hold a special place in our hearts’.

• “Thank God It’s Monday Day”, some masochist’s idea of a fun celebration.

• “Virgin Sacrifice Day”, an ancient ritual that was seemingly discontinued when qualified subjects could no longer be found.

TOMORROW is the annual “BS Egg Balancing Day”, the day when you can place an egg on its fat end and it will remain standing on a level surface all day long. If you want to know why it works, interview a local physics professor. It’s no yolk! Bring a carton to work … it’s the perfect breakfast eggs-periment for morning shows!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1941 [65] 1st demonstration of ‘Color TV’ (CBS-TV)

1951 [55] 1st ‘X-Rated Film’ premieres, in London UK (“La Vie Commence Demain”)

2000 [06] Sitcom “Malcolm in the Middle” debuts on FOX-TV

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1799 [207] 1st-ever ‘Income Tax’ is imposed (England)

1932 [74] 1st recorded ‘Pink Snow’ falls as dust storm mixes with snow (Durango CO)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1985 [21] Calgary Flames complete NHL-record 264 games without being shut out

1996 [10] Toronto Raptors set dubious NBA record of not making a single free throw in 92-91 loss to Charlotte Hornets

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] 32nd “People’s Choice Awards”
[Tues] Peculiar People Day
[Tues] Eid al-Adha or Feast of Sacrifice (Islam)
[Wed] Tattoo Pride Day
[Wed] NASA launches probe to Pluto
[Thurs] Pharmacists Day
[Fri] Friday the 13th

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Home Office Safety & Security Week / International Thank-You Days / Universal Letter Writing Week / Intimate Apparel Week / Graves’ Disease Awareness Week / Thank Your Customers Week

BULL’S BITS

MOST ABSOLUTELY ANNOYING PEOPLE:
5. Osama Bin Laden
4. Britney Spears
3. Paris Hilton
2. Michael Jackson
1. Tom Cruise
NET: http://amiannoying.com

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Which is the snowiest city in Canada based on average annual snowfall?
a. Alberton PEI
b. Sept-Iles QC [CORRECT]
c. South Porcupine ON?
– Environment Canada

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you named your children after where they where conceived, what would they be called?  

BS FACT OR CRAP?
One of the following is pure BS, but which one?
GAME #1 –
1. Cats can smell mice from over half a mile away. [BS]
2. Cats have over 100 vocal sounds while dogs only have about 10.
3. Cat urine glows under a black light.

GAME #2 –
1. About 1 out of 3 Americans is 25 lbs too heavy.
2. The average American eats 22 lbs of lettuce a year.
3. It’s estimated 1 in 4 Americans has a false body part. [BS]

BS BLATANT JOKE:
A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

BULL’S EYE:
A backlash to menu-based phone-answering systems is causing many large corporations (ie: Manulife Financial and Meloche Monnex Insurance) to resurrect the old school method of having an actual human answer incoming calls and direct them to another human who’s the most appropriate to take action. How innovative! We predict 2006 will be see the return of customer service as a major emphasis in business. To that end, why not allow listeners to nominate businesses for a daily or weekly ‘[your station] Service Award’? Saluting outstanding service will become a positive component to your station’s image and just might entice honorees to become advertisers.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Women are more likely to do THIS in the presence of a man they find attractive than at any other time.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Laugh.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If you want your dreams to come true, don’t oversleep.

WELCOME NEWBIES!
“BS” salutes new subscribers Jeremy Estey @ CFAR Flin Flon MB, and Shane Schneider @ KG Country 95.5 [CKGY] Red Deer AB; and we welcome samplers this week that include Michael Diefenbach @ WEGO Concord NC; and Jordan McFadyen @ More FM New Plymouth, New Zealand. Tell a colleague about “The Bull Sheet”. We’ll add ONE FREE MONTH to your subscription for each new subscriber you refer!