Wednesday, January 17, 2001 Edition: #1971
TODAY is “Weedless Wednesday”, the focal point of “National Non-Smoking Week”, when smokers are encouraged to kick the habit for at least 24 hours. 16 new rotated warnings including some with gross color pictures of cancerous organs will cover the top half of each of the 2 billion cigarette packages sold each year in Canada. Here’s some of the . . .
BS REJECTED CIGARETTE WARNINGS:
• Warning: No matter how hard you try, you’ll never look as cool as Bogart.
• Getting one lung removed instantly takes off 5 pounds!
• Warning: Cigarette smoking may cause women to look like cheap, sleazy sluts.
• If you enjoy this brand, try our ‘Die-Before- Your-Kid-Goes-To-College Light 100s’!
• Warning: Keith Richards is not a fluke.
• Warning: Smoking can cause you to lead a pathetic existence sitting in a smelly designated smoking area at your job, freezing your cajones off in the middle of winter.
• Smoking can lead to a sexy voice after the polyps are removed from your vocal chords.
• Warning: 100% pure tax.
NET: real new warnings can be seen here – http://www.nsra-adnf.ca/english/warnexamples.html
(Canadian Cancer Society’s new self-help stop smoking program “One Step at a Time” is available at http://www.cancer.ca/tobacco or by calling 1-888-939-3333)
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT episode 2 of “Temptation Island” airs and FOX-TV is doing all it can to hype it by starting up a message board on the Web (http://www.fox.com/temptation/lounge.htm) . . . Britney Spears has reportedly shelled out $3 million for a Mediterranean-style mansion in Beverly Hills, fueling rumors she and Justin Timberlake are getting ready to tie the knot . . . Word is Madonna and Guy Ritchie have added son Rocco to the waiting list for Britain’s prestigious Eton (the school confirms an application was requested before he was even born!) . . . Buzz has it Drew Carey was so impressed with Kelsey Grammar’s recent hair transplants he asked for a referral and plans to get his own new ‘do soon (what’s the point when you wear a half-inch buzz cut?) . . . Las Vegas developers are planning a theme hotel based on London, complete with Tower Bridge, Downing Street and the Houses of Parliament which will actually be hotel rooms (and be sure to check out their one-star dining).
LOOK WHO’S TALKIN’:
About 9 million Canadians or 29.3% of us now have mobile phones. But that’s nuthin’ compared to the Japanese where the figure is 63.8 million users (50%), or the talk-happy Brits where 40 million are now carrying, about 66% of the UK population!
WIDE WORLD OF BS:
• A British pharmaceutical company said MONDAY that ‘curry spice’ might help prevent colon cancer. (How’s she gonna do that?)
• The Chinese government is shocked that 67% of Hong Kong citizens have no idea how to use chopsticks, so it’s planning to pass a law banning the use of other eating utensils. (No big deal — most eat at McDonald’s anyway.)
• Tracy McKeown of Uddingston, Scotland has set a new Guinness World Record by having 2 sets of twins only 8 months apart. (She should be up and walking again by August.)
THE BULL SHEET 01.17.01
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1931 [70] James Earl Jones, Arkabutla MS, movie actor (Simba’s pop-“The Lion King”, Darth Vader-“Star Wars”)/ballsy commercial voice (“This is CNN”)
1942 [59] Muhammad Ali, Louisville KY, 3-time heavyweight boxing champ with career record of 56-5 including 37 KOs and 19 successful title defences for $69 million in earnings/Parkinson’s victim/subject of new Will Smith movie
1955 [46] Steve Earle, Fort Monroe VA, country/rock singer (“Transcendental Blues”)
1962 [39] Jim Carrey, Newmarket ON, movie actor (“The Grinch”, “Me Myself and Irene”)
1966 [35] Luc Robitaille, Montreal PQ, NHL winger (LA Kings)
1971 [30] Kid Rock (Robert James Ritchie), Romeo MI, rapper (“I Am the Bullgod”, “Cowboy”)/2001 American Music Award for ‘Favorite Male Artist’
1973 [28] Aaron Ward, Windsor ON, NHL defenceman (Detroit Red Wings)
1982 [19] Amanda Wilkinson, Belleville ON, country singer (The Wilkinsons-“Jimmy’s Got a Girlfriend”, “Boy Oh Boy”)/2000 CCMAs for single, album and group of the year and fan’s choice
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Saint Anthony Day”, honoring the patron saint of domestic animals and diggers (like Anna Nicole Smith?).
THIS WEEK is “Let Men Be Our Heroes Week”, a week for women to appreciate men, and to give men the opportunity to make women happy. PHONER: 909-532-1765 (Kara Oh)
3 YEARS AGO . . .
1998 Bill Clinton utters those infamous words “I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman”
1998 Savage Garden’s “Truly, Madly, Deeply” hits #1 on pop singles charts
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1995 [06] Shania Twain releases 1st hit single, “Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under”
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Rid the World of Fad Diets & Gimmicks Day
[Thurs] Get To Know Your Customer Day
National Hobby Month (what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever heard of someone collecting?)
BULL’S BITS . . .
BS TRIVIA:
Q: The oldest club of this kind was organized 206 years ago TODAY (1795) in Edinburgh, Scotland.
A: It was the first curling club, The Dudingston Curling Society. (My doctor tells me I can’t go curling anymore because it’s too tough on my liver.)
Q: What just won a Broadcast Film Critics Association award for “Best Inanimate Object” in a movie?
A: ‘Wilson’ the volleyball, Tom Hanks’ buddy in “Cast Away”.
Q: In which month are Australian couples most likely to wed?
A: JANUARY is the month of weddings in Australia, where it’s now mid-summer.
BS TAG LINE:
Life’s too short to dance with ugly men.
A big howdy and welcome aboard to our newest subscriber Stephanie Marie @ KHCK Dallas TX!
