Monday, January 8, 2001 Edition: #1964
MORE PERPLEXING BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
• Why don’t they make mouse-flavored cat food?
• Why is it that anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening?
• If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
BS TABLOID TRASH:
• Britain’s “Sun” tabloid says a Britney Spears/Madonna duet is in the works and is sure to be the global mega-hit of 2001. The tab quotes a Spears spokeswoman as saying, “It was meant to be a big secret but it has leaked out.” MTV.com says Britney has reserved several days in May for a possible studio collaboration. Though nothing is confirmed, the duet would likely end up on Britney’s as-yet-untitled 3rd album planned for late THIS YEAR.
• “National Enquirer” claims Jennifer Lopez is ripping a page from Madonna’s book, scouting locations for a wedding in Britain (can’t wait to see her wedding scarf . . . er, dress.). An insider says she and Puff want somewhere with lots of “history and tradition”. (If Puffy runs true to form, they’ll be appearing in an Old Bailey courtroom.)
• According to British tabs, ‘Posh Spice’ Victoria Beckham and Elizabeth Hurley are being wooed to guest star on “Friends” THIS SEASON. Sounds like producers are worried about upcoming competition from “Survivor 2”, in which the new female contestants are said to be prettier and younger!
• Rod Stewart tells Germany’s “Bild am Sonntag” tabloid his wild times are over and he’s cutting back on carousing after years of hard living because “I don’t think I can take it any more!”. (Unconfirmed reports say the wrinkle rocker has asked his doctor for a quarter-dose of Viagra. He doesn’t want the sex, just enough so he can quit peeing in his slippers.)
28TH AMERICAN MUSIC AWARDS:
• TONIGHT from LA, hosted by Britney Spears (named ‘Best New Artist’ last year and up for ‘Best New Cleavage’ this year) and LL Cool J
• Faith Hill leads nominations with 4, while Marc Anthony and Creed have 3 apiece
• Aerosmith becomes only the 4th artist to receive the ‘Award of Achievement’, while Janet Jackson is the 28th recipient of the ‘Award of Merit’
WHO TAKES CARE OF YOU?
A new poll for Bayer Corp finds men are about twice as likely as women to report their spouses take care of them when they’re sick from a cold or flu. Women, on the other hand, are more likely to take care of themselves. (No surprise — any woman will tell you men are all babies.)
10 DIGIT DIALING:
Beginning TODAY in Toronto, even if you’re calling next door you’ll have to include the ‘416′ area code. If you don’t, a recording will interrupt the call and remind you to dial all 10 digits. It’s the first step to introducing the new ‘647′ area code coming MARCH 5. 10-digit dialing will also soon be required in the suburban ‘905′ area. Warning! The recording is sure to screw up fax machines and computer modems that haven’t been re-programed to dial 10 digits.THE BULL SHEET 01.08.01
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1935 [D-1977] Elvis Presley, Tupelo MS, rock ‘n roll legend NOTE: 45 years ago TODAY (1956) his “Don’t Be Cruel/Hound Dog” single goes #1 and stays there for then-record 11 weeks
1947  David Bowie (Jones), Brixton ENG, classic rock singer (“Changes”, “China Girl”)
1969  R (Robert) Kelly, Chicago IL, R&B/pop singer (“I Wish”, “I Believe I Can Fly”)
1979  Sarah Polley, Toronto ON, movie actress (“eXistenZ”, “The Sweet Hereafter”)/former star of “Road to Avonlea”
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Man Watchers Day”, when a list of the most watchable men is released. (Sexist?)
• “National Bubble Bath Day” (So feed the kids beans before their nightly bath!)
• “National Clean Off Your Desk Day” (What’s the weirdest thing you found buried on yours?)
TODAY is “Women’s Day” (or “Midwife’s Day”) in Greece, when women spend the day in cafes while men do housework and look after children. Traditionally, men caught outside are stripped and doused with cold water!
WEDNESDAY is The Bull Sheet’s annual “Egg Balancing Day”, the day eggs stand up for themselves. Simply take your average egg, place it on it’s fat end and presto — it stands! So bring an egg or two in and have listeners join in the experiment. This stunt’s guaranteed to make your phones flash!
ON THIS DAY . . .
1998  Former NHLPA president, super-agent and Canada Cup organizer Alan Eagleson begins 18-month prison sentence for fraud
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1944  1st NHL rookie to score 5 goals in a game (Howie Meeker-Toronto Maple Leafs)
1976  6 countries agree to 1st ‘Canada Cup’ hockey tournament (will there ever be another one?)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Total Lunar Eclipse (Full Moon)
[Tues] Play God Day (aka ‘Pretend You’re the Boss Day’)
Man Watchers Appreciation Week
Crime Stoppers Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
Q: 75 years ago TODAY (1926) the new king of ‘Hejaz’ renamed his country. What name did he come up with that we still use today?
A: Abdul-Aziz ibn Sa’ud called it ‘Saudi Arabia’. By the way, Saudi newspapers are reporting that the kingdom will soon build a ‘Disneyland-like’ amusement park in the capital, Riyadh, at a cost of $16 million. (Admission: Your right hand.)
Q: What country consumes the most Kellogg’s Corn Flakes per capita — Ireland, Canada or the USA?
A: The Irish, who apparently love the stuff! Canada ranks 7th, the US 8th.
(Source: “The Top 10 of Everything”)
BS TAG LINE:
I love deadlines, especially the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.