Friday, January 5, 2001 Edition: #1963
YOU CAN TELL YOU OVERSPENT AT CHRISTMAS IF . . .
• You’ve padlocked your mailbox.
• At dinnertime, your children keep pleading, “Please sir, I want more!”
• You’ve sent out change of address cards — but you’re not moving.
• You signed up for a night course in panhandling.
• You’ve cut up your VISA card and used it to decorate the noose around your neck.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
And the award for the 1st awards show of the New Year goes to — the 27th annual “People’s Choice Awards” SUNDAY, honoring favorite performers in TV, movies and music (last year there were over 500 celebrity awards presentations of some kind) . . . “Everybody Loves Raymond” is now TV’s #1 sitcom . . . Despite what record companies would have you believe, free music downloads aren’t killing album sales – they were UP 4% in 2000 . . . Surprise surprise — Tina Turner was the #1 concert attraction of 2000, with her farewell world tour grossing $80.2 million, just ahead of ‘N Sync . . . Rumor rumor — 45-year-old Kevin Costner and 26-year-old blond bombshell Christine Baumgartner have been spotted browsing diamond rings . . . And Mick Jagger has fought off stiff competition from other multi-millionaires to win the school board chairman’s job on the Caribbean island of Mustique.
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
Michael Douglas plays a conservative judge appointed by the President to spearhead the war against drugs, only to discover that his teenage daughter is a heroin addict in the crime drama “Traffic” . . . A woman and her daughter open a chocolate shop in a small French village in the romantic comedy “Chocolat” (SHOCK-ole-eh), starring Johnny Depp and Juliette Binoche (“The English Patient”).
GOT A HANKERING FOR HEINZ?
Each country has a different use for ketchup. Some of the common uses –
• Sweden — on pasta.
• Britain — on fish and chips.
• Spain and India — on eggs.
• Eastern Europe — on pizza.
• Japan – on rice.
• Denmark — on spaghetti.
• Thailand — potato chip dip.
(Listener poll: “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen someone put ketchup on?”)
DID YOU KNOW?
• Florida funeral directors can get up to 500 frequent flier miles — for putting stiffs on airlines! Shipping coffins is a lucrative business in retiree-rich Florida as thousands of deceased are shipped back north to their cold and snowy hometown cemeteries each year.
• Nutritionist Dr Niels Randel, who wrote 8 books about vegetarianism, recently died — when he choked to death on a ham sandwich! His wife says that although his books convinced millions of people to give up meat, he could never kick the habit himself, and he was consumed by guilt all of his life.
TODAY’S BS TIP:
Rubbing fabric softener sheets over your head is the perfect antidote for dry and frizzy hair, according to teen magazine “Twist”.
THE BULL SHEET 01.05.01
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1931  Robert Duvall, San Diego CA, film actor (“Gone in Sixty Seconds”, Oscar-“Tender Mercies”)/movie producer/director (“The Apostle”)
1942  Charlie Rose, Henderson NC, TV journalist (“60 Minutes II”, “The Charlie Rose Show”)
1946  Diane Keaton (Hall), LA CA, movie actress (“First Wives Club”, Oscar-“Annie Hall”)
1968  Joe Juneau, Pont-Rouge PQ, NHL centre (Ottawa Senators)
1969  Marilyn Manson (Brian Warner), Canton OH, rock weirdo (“Beautiful People”)
SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1955  Rowan Atkinson, Newcastle-upon-Tyne ENG, TV fool (“Mr Bean”, “Blackadder”)/film actor (“Bean”, “Four Weddings & a Funeral”)
1960  Howie Long, Charlestown MA, FOX-TV NFL analyst/TV ad huckster (Radio Shack ads with Teri Hatcher)/movie actor (“Firestorm”, “Broken Arrow”)/former NFL DE (Raiders)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY Graceland kicks off its 3-day “Elvis Presley’s Birthday Celebration” in Memphis. (The King would have been 66 MONDAY – or IS if you believe some morons.) NET: http://www.elvis-presley.com
TODAY is “Twelfth Night”, the eve of “Epiphany”. TOMORROW is the “Twelfth Day of Christmas” or “Epiphany” (according to the carol, your true love should give to you ’12 drummers drumming’.) Children in Mexico expect a visit from ‘Los Tres Reyes’ (The Three Kings) who bring gifts camel-back. In Italy, ‘La Befana’, a kindly witch, slides down chimneys on her broom to bring toys and goodies for kids. “Carnival Season” kicks off TOMORROW in many countries and lasts through “Shrove Tuesday”.
ON THIS DAY . . .
1998  Giant ice storm causes power outages and massive damage in Quebec & Eastern Ontario.
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1835  1st ‘Worcestershire (WUSS-ta-sure) sauce’ (Lea & Perrins)
1940  1st demonstration of ‘FM radio’
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1958  424 coins and 5 lbs of wire removed from man’s stomach in Sedgefield ENG (“How is he, doctor?” “No change.”)
1987  Tony Ferko sets world record by juggling 7 ping pong balls — with his mouth
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] 28th Annual American Music Awards
[Tues] Total Lunar Eclipse (Full Moon)
[Wed] Egg Balancing Day
Universal Letter-Writing Week (“Dear Aunt Gladys – thank you for the really unusual Christmas gift”)
Careers in Cosmetology Month (“Would you like some of this scent sprayed on your wrist?”)
BULL’S BITS . . .
Q: “Epiphany” is also known as “Three Kings Day”, traditionally the day the 3 wise guys showed up with gold, frankincense and myrrh. So what the heck is ‘myrrh’ anyway?
A: A natural compound secreted by shrubs, originally used for its aromatic qualities, but recently Italian scientists have found it may be useful as a painkiller.
BS TAG LINE: It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to have to paint it.